The Story Critic
I Will Wait
Rating: 9
My Thoughts: I think your story is very well written with a great plot. Even though there are only three chapters, I think it is a great introduction to the story. It seriously impressed me! I loved almost every bit of what I was reading. You're off to a great start! Good job and keep it up!
The Story Critic Says:
Positive Points:
- The plot is interesting, different than most stories and keeps the readers hooked.
- You have written your story with lots of description and it moves with a casual flow to the events.
- Each chapter brings something new to the story, something unexpected, and new. It's a great way to bring in more audience!
- The story is nearly perfect! There isn't much to work on, but there is always something to add or fix for even the greatest authors of all time! Even J.K Rowling. :)
Negative Points:
- There are a few parts in the story where your dialogue isn't written as a new paragraph. That needs to be fixed.
- I found a few run-on sentences. Make sure you put in commas where they are necessary and periods (full stops) when needed.
- At times it feels as if you've introduced too many characters in a rush. Maybe try and explain more to who each character is, their background, etc. That way it isn't a headache trying to remember who each person in the story is. Sometimes, even while reading published books, I have to flip back to the previous pages to recall a character is. Some authors have a difficult time with that, but I think you just need to add a little bit of background to some characters, like Jenna and Jack. They just seemed to pop out of nowhere.
Other than that, I think you're good to go. :)
Overall Thoughts:
- It's a wonderful start to your story. If you just fix a few minor stuff, you'll have yourself a perfect story! Or as perfect as perfect can be! :) Good job!
PS: You asked me to check out one of your stories and posted two. I chose the first one. Let me know if you want me to see your other one as well! Message me! :)
Guys, I think you'll all love Michkayo's story, I Will Wait: http://www.onedirectionfanfiction.org/Story/17715/I-Will-Wait/
My Thoughts: I think your story is very well written with a great plot. Even though there are only three chapters, I think it is a great introduction to the story. It seriously impressed me! I loved almost every bit of what I was reading. You're off to a great start! Good job and keep it up!
The Story Critic Says:
Positive Points:
- The plot is interesting, different than most stories and keeps the readers hooked.
- You have written your story with lots of description and it moves with a casual flow to the events.
- Each chapter brings something new to the story, something unexpected, and new. It's a great way to bring in more audience!
- The story is nearly perfect! There isn't much to work on, but there is always something to add or fix for even the greatest authors of all time! Even J.K Rowling. :)
Negative Points:
- There are a few parts in the story where your dialogue isn't written as a new paragraph. That needs to be fixed.
- I found a few run-on sentences. Make sure you put in commas where they are necessary and periods (full stops) when needed.
- At times it feels as if you've introduced too many characters in a rush. Maybe try and explain more to who each character is, their background, etc. That way it isn't a headache trying to remember who each person in the story is. Sometimes, even while reading published books, I have to flip back to the previous pages to recall a character is. Some authors have a difficult time with that, but I think you just need to add a little bit of background to some characters, like Jenna and Jack. They just seemed to pop out of nowhere.
Other than that, I think you're good to go. :)
Overall Thoughts:
- It's a wonderful start to your story. If you just fix a few minor stuff, you'll have yourself a perfect story! Or as perfect as perfect can be! :) Good job!
PS: You asked me to check out one of your stories and posted two. I chose the first one. Let me know if you want me to see your other one as well! Message me! :)
Guys, I think you'll all love Michkayo's story, I Will Wait: http://www.onedirectionfanfiction.org/Story/17715/I-Will-Wait/
Notes
So here's one more review! Guys! Be sure to check out these amazing stories by all these amazing authors! They really deserve to be read! Every single one of them!Lots of <3!
~ Lily <3
plz check out my story it's called "inspirational messages" and take your time I don't care when you review it as long as you do thanks so much
3/10/15