Hooch [a n.j.h. fanfiction]
03
"Great game, Eileen!" Catherine said to her ten year old daughter. "That was a beautiful serve you did!"
"Thanks Mommy. When we get home can you teach me to do an overhand serve pretty, please?" Eileen begged her mother.
"Okay sweetheart."
"Momma, I colored a picture in school today! I tried to stay in the lines, and I was really close. I only messed up a few times!" Ryan said. She wanted her mother's attention of course, but that was normal of a four year old.
"That's nice Ryan," Catherine said, dismissing her daughter's statement. "Anyway, Eileen if you set up the volleyball net, Mommy will help you with your overhand serves. If you learn the proper technique I'm sure you'll be amazing! After all you do take after me when it comes to athletics," she smiled at her daughter and winked. They walked away from the facility and got into their car. The drive to their home was quite far, so Catherine turned on some music to keep the children occupied. The sounds of Disney music flooded into the car making Ryan smile. She loved Disney movies. Disney was the theme of her bedroom, so everyone knew she loved it.
"Ugh this music is for babies, Mommy, can you turn on something else?" Eileen asked.
"No please don't Momma! It's Disney, Ryan loves Disney!" Ryan had begun talking in the third person and her mother absolutely despised it. Ryan couldn't help it though she wasn't even in Kindergarten.
"Ryan! You know you don't talk about yourself in the third person. It makes you sound stupid! Now stop arguing with your sister!" her mother snapped, turning the radio station. Tears formed in Ryan's eyes, but she knew not to let them fall or else she would only get into more trouble. The rest of the car ride was silent. They pulled up to their home finally, and Ryan just wanted to get out of the car so she could play with her dolls. Her mother unstrapped her from her car seat and she ran to her room. Ryan was only in there for a few minutes when her father called her down for dinner. She was put in her booster seat and the Windsors began eating their dinner.
"Eileen scored off of a serve and ended up winning the game for her team," Catherine told Kennedy.
"That's great hon! I knew you got your athletics from me!" her father exclaimed.
"I don't think so Kennedy," Catherine said laughing. The couple continued their light banter, but once again Ryan was itching for their attention.
"Daddy I colored today in school and I stayed inside the lines!" Ryan said clapping.
"Don't you see that I'm talking Ryan it's rude to interrupt," Kennedy scolded his daughter.
He then went back to talking his to his wife about their daughter's volleyball game and ignored their younger daughter. Ryan kept quiet for the rest of the night, confused why her parents didn't love her like they loved Eileen.
"Mom! It's my first high school dance, you have to take me to go get a new dress! I don't want to wear one of yours!" Eileen whined to her mother.
"Eileen I don't know why you just can't wear my dress! It's the right size and everything," Catherine said.
"Mom that dress is so ugly it makes me want to gag. I won't pick out an expensive one I promise!" Eileen compromised. "Ian is wearing a suit, and Caroline has this amazing blue dress that her mom bought her."
"Fine, Eileen! We'll go get you a dress. Tell your sister we have to run an errand."
"Does she really have to come? She'll just slow us down and annoy me," Eileen complained.
"Yes she does. Your father won't be home for another couple of hours and she can't stay home alone, she'll destroy the place, and you know it."
"Ugh whatever. Ryan! Let's go!" Eileen yelled up the stairs.
"Why? Where are we going?" Ryan pestered running down the stairs.
"Just shut up and get in the car." The ride in the car mostly consisted of Eileen singing along to some boy band that was playing on the radio. They arrived at the store and Eileen immediately went to the most expensive dresses the store had. While Eileen and her mother searched through the endless racks of dresses, Ryan went and found a really nice pair of shoes that she thought suited her perfectly. They weren't expensive which made Ryan smile and grab them so she could show her mother.
"Mom this is the one!" Eileen yelled, holding up a black gown that reached the floor. It was strapless and had rhinestones all over the bust. The bottom of the dress was sheer so you could see Eileen's long legs. Catherine took one look at price tag and her eyes went wide. She smiled at Eileen and nodded her head signalling that she could get it. Eileen jumped up and down squealing. They went to the checkout and Eileen gave the dress to the cashier.
"Mom I found these really cute shoes and I was wondering if I could get them. They're not expensive they're only twenty-five bucks." Ryan said showing her mother the shoes.
"Well do you have money to buy the shoes?" Catherine asked her daughter, handing her credit card over to the cashier. "I don't money to just throw around, sweetie`. Maybe your father can get them for you."
Ryan reluctantly went and returned the shoes to their original place. She was confused and sad as to why she couldn't have the shoes, but didn't complain because she didn't want to make her mother upset. Catherine and Eileen waited for Ryan to get back before they made they're way back to the mall entrance.
"Mom!" Eileen shouted.
"What is it now, Eileen?" her mother sighed.
"I don't have shoes! How am I supposed to wear this beautiful dress with flats? I can't do that! I need some heels."
"Eileen you don't know how to walk in heels."
"That doesn't mean I can't learn, Mom!"
"Fine, Eileen, go pick out some heels, but I have to use the bathroom so I'll meet you when it's time to check out."
Ryan walked off with her sister into the women's shoe store.
"How come you get new shoes? The shoes I wanted weren't as expensive as the shoes in here are."
"Because this is a very important event in my life, Ryan. Why are you being so selfish? You don't need shoes right now, think about someone else for a change," Eileen said, flipping her hair over her shoulder, and picking up a pair of black heels, with gold studs. "You'll be able to see my shoes through my dress, so I'll get these and wear gold jewelry."
Ryan sat at her house, bored out of her mind. Her parents were at the party to celebrate the kick-off of Eileen's new makeup line, and she wasn't allowed to go. She decided to call one of her friends to see if they wanted to hang out. She dialed his number, and waited for him to pick up.
"What's up hot stuff?" Nick said into the phone. Ryan liked Nick. She thought he was nice to her, cute, funny, and had a good personality. Plus he was two years older than her, so she thought it was cool that an upper classman was interested in talking to her.
"Nothing really. Are you busy? I'm bored and I need company," she whined into the phone
"Well I'm getting ready to go to this party. I can swing by and pick you up if you want to go. It's mostly juniors but I'm sure they wouldn't mind you being there considering you're cool. Plus you're pretty hot."
"Alright I guess I'll come."
"Sweet. Be there in thirty," he said before hanging up the phone.
Ryan went up to her room and decided to get ready. She changed her clothes, put on some makeup, and sat around until Nick arrived. She heard the horn blaring outside and knew it was him. She grabbed her phone, and exited the house. Nick's family had money, and everyone knew that. His father was a successful lawyer, and his mother was a surgeon at the local hospital. Ryan got into the sleek, black Jeep, and they left for the party. They made small talk in the car, mostly about who was going to be there, and the usual drama that was going on at their school. The ride was a short one, and they were at the house within ten minutes. Cars lined the street and it took them longer to find somewhere to park than it did getting to the party, then the walk from the car was even longer. The house they were at was huge. Ryan expected this considering this is the nicer part of town. Many people greeted Nick as the two went to find his friends. They found them in the backyard by the pool drinking from red solo cups, and passing around cigarettes.
"Hey it's Nick!" one of the guys yelled. "What took you so long dude?"
"Had to pick up this weirdo," Nick said pointing to Ryan.
"And who's this pretty lady? I don't think I've seen you around here." the guy flirted.
"I'm Ryan. I'm a freshman, that's probably why you haven't seen me much," she explained.
"Well you're one hot freshman. I'm Nathan by the way." Nathan said, sending a smirk her way. "You want a drink? I could mix something up for you."
"No I'm good. I've never really had a drink before."
"Well you're having your first tonight," Nathan demanded, taking the cap off a beer bottle and handing it to her.
That was Ryan's first drink, and many more would follow. Nathan and Ryan flirted all night, and she found out that he was a junior, just like Nick. Ryan was drunk, and Nathan knew that and used it to his advantage.
"How about you and me head upstairs and get to know each other even more?" Nathan asked. Ryan thought nothing of it, and agreed. She stumbled up the stairs with Nathan into an empty bedroom.
That bedroom is where Ryan lost her virginity at age 14 with a junior she barely knew. The following day at school, everyone knew about it and thought of her as a slut. Who loses their virginity at 14? No one wanted to be around her, no one wanted to talk to her, and if you were seen with her you were automatically shunned.
"What do you mean you're moving out, Ryan? We agreed you'd go to the local community college and continue living with me and your father!" my mother exclaimed.
"I don't want to go the local community college and I already got accepted into this college, Mom!"
"I wish you were more like your sister! She didn't leave home until she had a steady job and met the man of her dreams, and she certainly didn't move overseas! You don't even have a boyfriend yet! You know, when Eileen was your age she had a steady boyfriend who took care of her," my mother continued to nag.
She didn't care for my feelings. Her and my father just wanted me to be like Eileen. They didn't love me, they only loved Eileen and her husband. I was tired of people always talking about how great Eileen was doing or how perfect she was and how I will never be as good as her.
"Well you know what, Mom? I don't want to be like Eileen! I know you and dad don't love me as much as Eileen but do you have to throw it into my face everytime we talk? I'll never be as perfect as Eileen! I'm done trying to please you. I'm going to film school to pursue my dream and not trying to live up to your impossible standards!" I yell.
My mother was shocked at my outburst. I had never acted that was towards her. I always tried to be like Eileen. I joined the volleyball team but my serves "would never be like Eileen's". I tried to get into makeup, but my eyeshadow looks "would never be as perfect as Eileen's".
"Honey.... I don't understand-"
"Save it, Mom. I'm packing my shit up and I'll be leaving tomorrow. Bet you're glad to hear that huh?"
I ran into my room and began throwing my things in suitcases so I would be ready to leave in the morning. My flight left very early. About an hour later there were soft knocks at my door.
"Honey, it's me and your father. We'd like to talk to you, if that's alright."
"If you're just going to make me feel like crap then I'm not in the mood."
My mother opened the door and entered the room and sat on my bed, my father following her.
"Honey we realize we were wrong in the way we treated you and we understand how you could be angry with us. We decided we needed to be more understanding and we're going to support you in your decision even though we wished you'd stay a little closer to home." My mother reassures.
"You're mother is right. We're prepared to help you with your expenses and such every month so you're not alone in this. And we're so proud of you and we'll always be proud of you."
I understood they were trying to be better and more supportive, but unfortunately the damage was already done. The downward cycle had already begun long before that moment.
"Thanks Mommy. When we get home can you teach me to do an overhand serve pretty, please?" Eileen begged her mother.
"Okay sweetheart."
"Momma, I colored a picture in school today! I tried to stay in the lines, and I was really close. I only messed up a few times!" Ryan said. She wanted her mother's attention of course, but that was normal of a four year old.
"That's nice Ryan," Catherine said, dismissing her daughter's statement. "Anyway, Eileen if you set up the volleyball net, Mommy will help you with your overhand serves. If you learn the proper technique I'm sure you'll be amazing! After all you do take after me when it comes to athletics," she smiled at her daughter and winked. They walked away from the facility and got into their car. The drive to their home was quite far, so Catherine turned on some music to keep the children occupied. The sounds of Disney music flooded into the car making Ryan smile. She loved Disney movies. Disney was the theme of her bedroom, so everyone knew she loved it.
"Ugh this music is for babies, Mommy, can you turn on something else?" Eileen asked.
"No please don't Momma! It's Disney, Ryan loves Disney!" Ryan had begun talking in the third person and her mother absolutely despised it. Ryan couldn't help it though she wasn't even in Kindergarten.
"Ryan! You know you don't talk about yourself in the third person. It makes you sound stupid! Now stop arguing with your sister!" her mother snapped, turning the radio station. Tears formed in Ryan's eyes, but she knew not to let them fall or else she would only get into more trouble. The rest of the car ride was silent. They pulled up to their home finally, and Ryan just wanted to get out of the car so she could play with her dolls. Her mother unstrapped her from her car seat and she ran to her room. Ryan was only in there for a few minutes when her father called her down for dinner. She was put in her booster seat and the Windsors began eating their dinner.
"Eileen scored off of a serve and ended up winning the game for her team," Catherine told Kennedy.
"That's great hon! I knew you got your athletics from me!" her father exclaimed.
"I don't think so Kennedy," Catherine said laughing. The couple continued their light banter, but once again Ryan was itching for their attention.
"Daddy I colored today in school and I stayed inside the lines!" Ryan said clapping.
"Don't you see that I'm talking Ryan it's rude to interrupt," Kennedy scolded his daughter.
He then went back to talking his to his wife about their daughter's volleyball game and ignored their younger daughter. Ryan kept quiet for the rest of the night, confused why her parents didn't love her like they loved Eileen.
"Mom! It's my first high school dance, you have to take me to go get a new dress! I don't want to wear one of yours!" Eileen whined to her mother.
"Eileen I don't know why you just can't wear my dress! It's the right size and everything," Catherine said.
"Mom that dress is so ugly it makes me want to gag. I won't pick out an expensive one I promise!" Eileen compromised. "Ian is wearing a suit, and Caroline has this amazing blue dress that her mom bought her."
"Fine, Eileen! We'll go get you a dress. Tell your sister we have to run an errand."
"Does she really have to come? She'll just slow us down and annoy me," Eileen complained.
"Yes she does. Your father won't be home for another couple of hours and she can't stay home alone, she'll destroy the place, and you know it."
"Ugh whatever. Ryan! Let's go!" Eileen yelled up the stairs.
"Why? Where are we going?" Ryan pestered running down the stairs.
"Just shut up and get in the car." The ride in the car mostly consisted of Eileen singing along to some boy band that was playing on the radio. They arrived at the store and Eileen immediately went to the most expensive dresses the store had. While Eileen and her mother searched through the endless racks of dresses, Ryan went and found a really nice pair of shoes that she thought suited her perfectly. They weren't expensive which made Ryan smile and grab them so she could show her mother.
"Mom this is the one!" Eileen yelled, holding up a black gown that reached the floor. It was strapless and had rhinestones all over the bust. The bottom of the dress was sheer so you could see Eileen's long legs. Catherine took one look at price tag and her eyes went wide. She smiled at Eileen and nodded her head signalling that she could get it. Eileen jumped up and down squealing. They went to the checkout and Eileen gave the dress to the cashier.
"Mom I found these really cute shoes and I was wondering if I could get them. They're not expensive they're only twenty-five bucks." Ryan said showing her mother the shoes.
"Well do you have money to buy the shoes?" Catherine asked her daughter, handing her credit card over to the cashier. "I don't money to just throw around, sweetie`. Maybe your father can get them for you."
Ryan reluctantly went and returned the shoes to their original place. She was confused and sad as to why she couldn't have the shoes, but didn't complain because she didn't want to make her mother upset. Catherine and Eileen waited for Ryan to get back before they made they're way back to the mall entrance.
"Mom!" Eileen shouted.
"What is it now, Eileen?" her mother sighed.
"I don't have shoes! How am I supposed to wear this beautiful dress with flats? I can't do that! I need some heels."
"Eileen you don't know how to walk in heels."
"That doesn't mean I can't learn, Mom!"
"Fine, Eileen, go pick out some heels, but I have to use the bathroom so I'll meet you when it's time to check out."
Ryan walked off with her sister into the women's shoe store.
"How come you get new shoes? The shoes I wanted weren't as expensive as the shoes in here are."
"Because this is a very important event in my life, Ryan. Why are you being so selfish? You don't need shoes right now, think about someone else for a change," Eileen said, flipping her hair over her shoulder, and picking up a pair of black heels, with gold studs. "You'll be able to see my shoes through my dress, so I'll get these and wear gold jewelry."
Ryan sat at her house, bored out of her mind. Her parents were at the party to celebrate the kick-off of Eileen's new makeup line, and she wasn't allowed to go. She decided to call one of her friends to see if they wanted to hang out. She dialed his number, and waited for him to pick up.
"What's up hot stuff?" Nick said into the phone. Ryan liked Nick. She thought he was nice to her, cute, funny, and had a good personality. Plus he was two years older than her, so she thought it was cool that an upper classman was interested in talking to her.
"Nothing really. Are you busy? I'm bored and I need company," she whined into the phone
"Well I'm getting ready to go to this party. I can swing by and pick you up if you want to go. It's mostly juniors but I'm sure they wouldn't mind you being there considering you're cool. Plus you're pretty hot."
"Alright I guess I'll come."
"Sweet. Be there in thirty," he said before hanging up the phone.
Ryan went up to her room and decided to get ready. She changed her clothes, put on some makeup, and sat around until Nick arrived. She heard the horn blaring outside and knew it was him. She grabbed her phone, and exited the house. Nick's family had money, and everyone knew that. His father was a successful lawyer, and his mother was a surgeon at the local hospital. Ryan got into the sleek, black Jeep, and they left for the party. They made small talk in the car, mostly about who was going to be there, and the usual drama that was going on at their school. The ride was a short one, and they were at the house within ten minutes. Cars lined the street and it took them longer to find somewhere to park than it did getting to the party, then the walk from the car was even longer. The house they were at was huge. Ryan expected this considering this is the nicer part of town. Many people greeted Nick as the two went to find his friends. They found them in the backyard by the pool drinking from red solo cups, and passing around cigarettes.
"Hey it's Nick!" one of the guys yelled. "What took you so long dude?"
"Had to pick up this weirdo," Nick said pointing to Ryan.
"And who's this pretty lady? I don't think I've seen you around here." the guy flirted.
"I'm Ryan. I'm a freshman, that's probably why you haven't seen me much," she explained.
"Well you're one hot freshman. I'm Nathan by the way." Nathan said, sending a smirk her way. "You want a drink? I could mix something up for you."
"No I'm good. I've never really had a drink before."
"Well you're having your first tonight," Nathan demanded, taking the cap off a beer bottle and handing it to her.
That was Ryan's first drink, and many more would follow. Nathan and Ryan flirted all night, and she found out that he was a junior, just like Nick. Ryan was drunk, and Nathan knew that and used it to his advantage.
"How about you and me head upstairs and get to know each other even more?" Nathan asked. Ryan thought nothing of it, and agreed. She stumbled up the stairs with Nathan into an empty bedroom.
That bedroom is where Ryan lost her virginity at age 14 with a junior she barely knew. The following day at school, everyone knew about it and thought of her as a slut. Who loses their virginity at 14? No one wanted to be around her, no one wanted to talk to her, and if you were seen with her you were automatically shunned.
"What do you mean you're moving out, Ryan? We agreed you'd go to the local community college and continue living with me and your father!" my mother exclaimed.
"I don't want to go the local community college and I already got accepted into this college, Mom!"
"I wish you were more like your sister! She didn't leave home until she had a steady job and met the man of her dreams, and she certainly didn't move overseas! You don't even have a boyfriend yet! You know, when Eileen was your age she had a steady boyfriend who took care of her," my mother continued to nag.
She didn't care for my feelings. Her and my father just wanted me to be like Eileen. They didn't love me, they only loved Eileen and her husband. I was tired of people always talking about how great Eileen was doing or how perfect she was and how I will never be as good as her.
"Well you know what, Mom? I don't want to be like Eileen! I know you and dad don't love me as much as Eileen but do you have to throw it into my face everytime we talk? I'll never be as perfect as Eileen! I'm done trying to please you. I'm going to film school to pursue my dream and not trying to live up to your impossible standards!" I yell.
My mother was shocked at my outburst. I had never acted that was towards her. I always tried to be like Eileen. I joined the volleyball team but my serves "would never be like Eileen's". I tried to get into makeup, but my eyeshadow looks "would never be as perfect as Eileen's".
"Honey.... I don't understand-"
"Save it, Mom. I'm packing my shit up and I'll be leaving tomorrow. Bet you're glad to hear that huh?"
I ran into my room and began throwing my things in suitcases so I would be ready to leave in the morning. My flight left very early. About an hour later there were soft knocks at my door.
"Honey, it's me and your father. We'd like to talk to you, if that's alright."
"If you're just going to make me feel like crap then I'm not in the mood."
My mother opened the door and entered the room and sat on my bed, my father following her.
"Honey we realize we were wrong in the way we treated you and we understand how you could be angry with us. We decided we needed to be more understanding and we're going to support you in your decision even though we wished you'd stay a little closer to home." My mother reassures.
"You're mother is right. We're prepared to help you with your expenses and such every month so you're not alone in this. And we're so proud of you and we'll always be proud of you."
I understood they were trying to be better and more supportive, but unfortunately the damage was already done. The downward cycle had already begun long before that moment.
Notes
new loooong chapter :)
hope you understood the time skips and such i didnt just wanna write FIVE YEARS LATER i wanted to integrate it into the writing you know?
lmk what you think pretty please :)
word count: 2290
@jordyhoran
No problem! Glad to hear you're still trying to write it! I feared this was going to be added to my long list of 'lost inspiration' pile. Glad to hear it's not the case. :)
Take as long as you need sweetheart. <3
3/30/16