She didn’t know what to do anymore. No matter which turn she took life always seemed to force her into some other path. She loved living, she really did. And he made it easier. He made her happy to be here, not wishing she was somewhere else. Before, nothing made sense to her. She didn’t understand why the sun always had to rise in the morning, even though she felt so dark. She was selfish. But now, with him in her life, she understood that the sun rose not only for her but for all of those who needed it. Whenever she would think about the things that made sense now she would smile. She sometimes would cry when memories came rushing back, memories she wanted to forget. He had showed her, however, that the memories had moulded her into the person she is today, the person she was proud to be.

Never once did she think that she would be completely rid of the hell she was living in. Today that was her reality. The man that had hurt her so much for so long was finally gone. For her to not get her hopes up, she kept on telling herself that he was still in this world. He was still around and until the day he was gone she would be prepared. The police had told her that he wouldn’t be coming out for at least forty years. Faith however has never been kind to her.

She is one who has known many sorrows, and now she was truly living her personal dream.

Everyone left us alone a couple of days. If it was because Louis told them too if it was because they didn’t know how to act around us, I did not know. All I knew that today they were all coming here and it felt strange. I was thankful to all of them and especially Louis. They had taken care of everything for me even though it was my entire fault. The reason Michael came here was because I left him for Louis. Now I know what you’re thinking, I shouldn’t blame myself for what a crazy man is doing. I know I shouldn’t. But by doing what I did I put the persons I love in danger. What would you do to keep your loved ones safe? I think that if you think about it, it would surprise you how far you’re willing to go.

And today was the small thank you dinner I forced Louis to have. I was the one cooking but he was the one who told the others to come. I knew he wasn’t comfortable with having all of them over at once, because since that day he has gotten very protective over me. He did it out of love and I understood that.

When they all started to arrive I was in the kitchen cooking the dinner that we were having and Louis was in the living room. I had to force him to sit in there because he was constantly watching my every move. I loved him to pieces but it was really annoying not having any privacy what so ever. The first to arrive was Harry and Niall. They both walked into the kitchen, said hello and kissed me on my cheek before walking in to the living room where Louis was sitting. I was thankful that they did that, because I didn’t want to talk to anyone at the moment.

However when Perrie, Zayn and Yvette arrived the two girls stayed in the kitchen as Zayn walked in to join the guys. I of course smiled at the girls and tried to start a conversation with them but they seemed preoccupied. When I decided I was finished trying to get them to talk normally I simply sighed and turned around. Not too long after I had done that Niall walked into the kitchen. I could it was him because he complained that the dinner was taking too long. I was standing with my back towards the small crowd behind me and continued to chop the salad as I listened to their conversation.

“Why are you all so quiet?” Niall whispered to the girls. They both sighed and then Yvette spoke.

“We don’t know what to say.” She sighed again and I could almost feel Niall hugging her tight. They were a really cute and odd couple it was almost disgusting.

“We’re afraid we might make her upset by talking about…” Perrie’s voice trailed off and I tightened my hold on the knife in my hand.

“Just don’t talk about it. I’m sure she doesn’t mind us avoiding the subject…” Niall’s voice trailed off to and I felt my temper snap. I threw the knife out of my hand, thinking I might hurt myself if I talked to them with it in my hand. I turned around quickly and they all looked at me with shocked eyes.

“Please stop.” I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed loudly. “Stop thinking for me.” I dropped my hand and looked at them all. I saw Louis and the rest of the boys coming into the room. Apparently Liam had arrived too. “I am sick of this. This happened to me, not any of you. Stop acting like you know what’s best for me.” I pointed to myself and saw Louis walking towards me. I put my hand up to stop him and took a deep breath. “What happened three days ago isn’t new to me, alright? That was my life for an entire year and for the last six months too. I’m not going to break because you happen to mention something about him.” I began untying my apron and shook my head with irritation. “What makes me sad is that you guys always think that this is the worst thing in the world.” I threw the apron on the counter in front of me and straightened my back. “Now if you excuse me I’m going to go to my room and defuse. Lou can you finish the salad?” He nodded quickly and I walked pass him. No one said a word but I felt someone following me. When I turned around I saw that it was Harry and I let out an annoyed breath.

“I’m not here to check how you are.” He put his hands up and said the one thing that was on my mind, the question that I really didn’t want to hear anymore.

“Then what do you want?” He looked at the ground as he sighed and shook his head slowly.

“For you to be happy.” He looked up at me slowly. “For the world to give you everything you deserve.” He shook his head and looked down at his feet again. “But what I wanted to say was, I’m glad you’re safe and that you can start your life for real this time.” He looked up at me with a small smile on his face and I gave him a short nod.

“Thank you Harry.” I wanted to hug him but felt kind of awkward about it.

“Even though it’s with the wrong person.” He winked at me and my mouth fell open. “I mean, I make awesome tacos and Louis stink at them.” He shrugged and stepped forward to grab me in a tight hug. I was a little taken aback but hugged him back. He let me go and winked once more before walking towards the kitchen. I sighed and shook my head before walking into our bedroom.

I closed the door and slid down to the floor. While I sat there on the ground with my back against the door I didn’t cry and I didn’t feel angry. I knew they were just trying to take care of me, but they didn’t understand. One feeling I did feel for them all was sadness, I was sad for them because they believed they knew what was best for me. I almost laughed loudly when I thought about the fact that I was the bitch in this case, I had yelled at my best friends because they were trying to keep me safe. How stupid wasn’t that? All I wanted was for things to be normal, had I ruined that by speaking like that to them?

I must’ve been sitting in our bedroom thinking for a long time because Louis was now knocking on the door. At first I didn’t hear him even though I was leaning against the door. But when I did I stood up quickly and opened it. I came face to face with the most beautiful creature alive and I couldn’t help but to smile, even though he looked worried.

“Why the frown babe?” He lifted his hand and placed it against my cheek as the frown eased its way off his face.

“I was just worried about you.” I sighed and leaned my head against his hand.

“You shouldn’t be. I’ll be fine.” I looked him deeply into his eyes and searched. I knew something wasn’t right, I’ve known it for a couple of days now but haven’t asked him about it. What I saw when I looked into his eyes now however made me change my mind.

“You’ll be fine.” He sounded like he tried to convince himself but I could see he didn’t believe the words. I lifted both of my hands and placed them on both sides of his face. He focused his gaze a little bit more and tried to smile, but it ended up looking really weak. I took a deep breath and caressed his cheeks with my thumbs.

“Lou.” He nodded slowly while looking into my dark blue eyes with his bright blue ones. Somehow they seemed a little less bright at the moment. “How are you?” I hadn’t asked him how he was doing at all. He was always pestering me about how I felt.

“I’m fine.” He shrugged and diverted his eyes from mine. I lifted his head so that he had to look at me directly. I could see sadness in his blue orbs and it wasn’t fitting him at all.

“Louis. Don’t lie to me.” He bit his lower lip and nodded and I began speaking. “Lou, are you really fine?” He took a shaky breath and I saw tears form in his eyes. At once some started to form in my own. He slowly let his lips go as he shook his head and whispered the most heart breaking word.

“No.”

Notes

So... I actually cried a little.... Just a little... In the last part... I hate to hurt Louis, and I'm not even sure how these situations happen! THEY JUST DO!
Please don't hate me :( I'm so sorry if you hate the fact that our little Lou is actually really broken.. I know I hate it... Damn... I wanna undo it... But I can't.... Damn...

Please tell me what you guys think, I really want to know what you think!

LOVE