“I wonder why it is, I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you, I wonder why it is,
I wont let my guard down, For anyone but you
We do it all the time, Blowing out my mind,
Just like a star across my sky, Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life, Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart, Just like oil on my hands”

My voice heard out through the small room we were in. My vocal coach nodded her head, thinking about my performance.

“It’s getting there. You are a little shaky in the end, like your breath ran out. But you are really getting better.” She gave me a huge smile before glancing at the clock. I turned around to see what the time was and realized it was already five pm. When I turned around towards her once more I noticed she was packing up. “I would love to extend this session but I can’t today, meeting my sister at the airport.” She shrugged and stood up from behind the piano.

“That’s fine. I need to get home anyway. My room mates are starting to wonder where I am all the time.” I laughed and she gave me a pointed look. My vocal coach was called Britney, irony I know, and she thought that I was really talented. I disagreed with her. In the short time I have come here she and I had grown really close. She didn’t know who my room mates were or that I even knew One Direction. I liked her, but didn’t trust her just yet.

“When are you going to tell them? I think you should show them what you can do.” She packed her notes into her bag and slung it over her shoulder. I shrugged and put on my coat. Autumn was here and winter was around the corner. The boys came home in November and today was the first of December.

“I am going to at the latest tell them on the birthday party they are throwing for a friend of ours.” I smiled and we walked out into the cold London evening. I shivered and hugged my coat tighter to me.

“Sounds like a good idea. Are you singing them a song as a gift or what?” I laughed and shook my head.

“Yeah, if you can consider my singing a gift, not a curse!” I winked at her and gave her a sweet smile. She however did not return it and gave me an annoyed stare.

“I would love to send out your tape to some people but you keep on saying you have to stay hidden. It’s a load of crap, that’s that I think.” She nodded as she unlocked her car. “Well I’ll see you next week then! Bye!” She hugged me before running over to her big car. I laughed at her as she almost fell due to the cark hiding the curb a little. I watched her drive away and then started walking towards the subway station. I quickly got on a train and then hopped off at the right place. When I walked home I remembered I needed to pick up some milk and what not so I took a detour to the nearest Tesco. I went in and grabbed the milk and a pack of gum. When I went to the cash register I couldn’t believe my eyes. The guy sitting behind it was the same guy that made me feel like crap the first time I ever shopped here. I thought he had quit since I hadn’t seen him since then but obviously not.

“Next.” I walked forward and gave him my items. When he finally looked up at me, about to ask me if I wanted anything else, he froze a little.

“No that’s all.” I gave him a smile before laying some money on the counter. I knew it was enough to cover the milk and the gum. I quickly walked out of the store and walked home. I hated meeting people I didn’t want to see. It made me feel dumb, because I had acted really stupid last time I saw him.

Anyway I walked home really fast, both because I was ashamed and because it was freezing outside. I quickly walked through the door to the building and noticed some paps outside. It felt like they photographed me but I just shrugged it off and didn’t think about it. I rode the elevator up to the floor we lived on and then walked to our flat. When I got inside all I could do was groan and kick my shoes off. The boys were running around the flat, Louis chasing Niall with a big flour sac in his hands. Flour was everywhere and there was also some sort of dough on the floor. I cleared my throat but the boys didn’t notice. I waited until someone noticed me, fortunately Liam did.

“Ehm, hey guys!” Louis and Niall kept running around and were now heading into the living room. “Guys!” Liam raised his voice a little higher and the two boys stopped. Once they did they noticed me standing by the door.

“What are you guys doing?” I looked at them with an amused gaze. I wasn’t mad but I wasn’t the one that was going to clean this up.

“We wanted pancakes but you weren’t home. So we tried doing it ourselves.” Niall blushed and I laughed.

“You could’ve waited.” I shrugged and walked over to the fridge. I put the milk inside and grabbed a bottle of water. When I turned around they were all looking at me with strange looks.

“You weren’t answering your phone and no one knew where you were.” I had told them about a week ago that I had lost the job. I told them the day after Louis and Is date. I looked at the floor as I opened the bottle.

“I was out walking.” I shrugged and looked up at them smiling. They all mumbled ‘yeah right’ and it made me blush. When Louis noticed that his face flashed with hurt. It made my heart break. “Alright!” I stood up straight and looked around the room. “I am going to call Soph and you guys are cleaning this up! I’ll make oven baked pancake for tonight if it is spotless when I come out of my room.” I smiled at them and Niall perked up a lot. Louis gave me a small smile but I could still see the hurt in his eyes. I didn’t understand why but figured I could talk to him about that later.

I walked into my room and pulled out my computer. We had set a Skype-date so that we could talk and see each other. I turned it on and as soon as my Skype was logged in Sophie’s name popped up, she was calling me. I clicked the answering button.

“VASS HAPPENING!?” She screamed out loud and I heard the boys outside the door laugh. I laughed too before saying hello back to her.

“Hi to you too!” She smiled and answered me in Swedish, time for the trash talk.

“So, have you told them about the singing yet?” I shook my head as I sighed.

“Nope. I think I’m gonna wait until Louis birthday party. I really want to sing him a song.” She nodded and gave me a huge smile.

“Sounds like a great idea! But I think you should ask Niall to comp you on his guitar.” I nodded as if to say I thought that too.

“Soph, I need to ask you something.” She nodded her head and waited. “How long should it take to become official?” I bit my lip as I waited for her answer. She thought about it for a while and then looked back at the screen.

“He hasn’t asked you yet, huh?” I shook my head and she continued. “Well you told him you wanted it to be a secret for a while. Maybe he is just waiting for you to say something?” I thought about it and decided that actually made sense.

“When did you become so all knowing?” I laughed and tried to cover up, but failed, the fact that she said something really smart.

“Because I am awesome, wisdom comes with awesomeness.” She gave me a goofy smile before relaxing slightly.

“You do know I miss you loads right?” She nodded and made a kissing motion towards the camera. I looked at the clock and realized we had been talking for about an hour. We had talked about other small things also but figured it wasn’t as important. “The boys are waiting for me to cook them dinner.” She laughed and I heard a knock on my door. “Yeah?” Niall walked in and smiled as he noticed Soph on the computer.

“Hello Soph!” She waved back and shouted hello. “We’re hungry.” He looked at me seriously before sitting down next to me to talk to Soph.

“Yeah, well I’m talking to Sophie here, Niall. You’ll have to wait.” He didn’t know I was just about to stop the conversation so go fix them dinner.

“That’s fine.” He shrugged and turned to the computer. “So how are you Soph?” He smiled and she blushed a little, you couldn’t see it all that well but I knew she was blushing.

“If you two talk for a little while I’ll go fix dinner?” Niall nodded as he looked up at me. “Good, Bye Soph!” She waved at me before speaking to me on Swedish.

“Remember to talk to him!” I laughed and waved her off. As I walked out of the room I heard Niall ask her ‘what did you say to her?’ and I hoped she wouldn’t tell him. I wanted some parts of my life to be kept a secret for now.