I stayed in the shower for about half an hour because I really needed to get my temperature up. When I got out I put on a silky Snoopy PJ and pulled my hair up in a ponytail. I wasn’t looking like the most glamorous self but I hoped he wouldn’t mind. I looked at my reflection one last time before walking out into the living room. On the table he had set up a game of monopoly and beside it were several other games. I felt a smile spread across my face as strong arms wrapped them around me. I let out a small laugh and he kissed my cheek.

“Well aren’t you sweet.” I turned around and placed my arms around his neck.

“You deserve the absolute best. But since I can’t take you out this will have to do.” My smile fell a little as I felt guilt wash over me. I really wanted to be able to go out with Louis. He looked at me with concerned eyes and kissed my forehead. “Its fine, Jo.” I shook my head and leaned back so I could look at him.

“If I tell you something you have to promise not to judge me or look at me like you feel sorry for me.” He gave me a small smile and nodded.

“I would never do that to you. Not now.” His kindness put a smile on my face. I grabbed his hand and led him over to the couch. I sat down and he followed me. I turned so that I was facing him as I grabbed both of his hands. I looked at our hands intertwined together and let out a small sigh.

“The reason I had to run from Sweden was because I fell in love with a man.” I looked up at him and he nodded for me to continue. “I met him the day I graduated from university, he was also graduating. He was so sweet and kind and charming.” I shook my head. “I had never been noticed like that before. My entire life I had never had a boyfriend. And when he asked me out of course I said yes. A month went by and I moved in with him. I was so in love I didn’t notice he shut my family and friends out of my life. After we had lived together for about a month things started to go wrong…” I trailed off.
It was becoming hard for me to talk about this. I had never spoken about it, those who knew about were there. “At first he only yelled a lot because I did something wrong. But then after some time he started pushing me…” I suck in a deep breath of air as I felt tears run down my cheeks. Louis lifted his hand to wipe them away and I kept going. “I believed him when he said he loved me. I believed him when he told me he didn’t want to hurt me. I believed him when he said I was the one that just needed discipline.” Louis shook his head and he looked angry. I felt bad and hoped he didn’t hate me.

“Johanna…” I shook my head.

“Louis let me finish.” I took another deep breath and went on. “It took me a really long time but Sophie finally made me see what was happening. I tried telling him I was leaving, he didn’t like it.” I looked down at our hands. I couldn’t stand to see the pain and anger in his eyes. “He almost killed me.” I whispered the words and tears ran quickly down my cheeks. I felt Louis grip tighten. “He had to bring me to a hospital and told the nurses that I had been in a car accident. He never left my side, if he did he left one of his friends there with me. After three days he had to leave to go to work. He leaned close, squeezed my arms to tight it hurt and whispered in my ear. ‘If you run, I will kill you and anyone that helps hide you.’ I didn’t know what to do. I knew I had to get out of there. This time when he left he didn’t leave a guard so the second I was sure he was out of the hospital I called a nurse.”
I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves. “They had already understood what was going on since he never left me alone. They had already called the police but couldn’t do anything if I didn’t ask for help. I told them I needed to get out.” I looked at Louis and his eyes were looking so sad now. “I got put into a protection program and ended up in Lund. And then I met you guys.” I let out a sob and began crying for real this time. Until this day I actually haven’t cried because of this. I had cried for many other reasons but never this. Louis wrapped his arms around me and rocked me back and forth.

“Everything will be alright, Jo.” He kissed my hair and I sobbed helplessly. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. Never again.” I grabbed a hold of his shirt and hugged him closer to me. He was truly too good for me. When my sobbing had died down a little I looked up at him.

“You’re not mad at me?” I was so afraid he would yell at me and kick me out. It’s what most people would have done. By being here I put their life in danger.

“What? No I am not mad! Why would I be? It’s not your fault, Jo.” He kissed my forehead and then placed his hands on the sides of my face. “No one deserves what he did to you, no one.” He kissed me lightly on my lips and then gave me a sweet smile. “So what are we feeling like tonight? Pizza or Chinese?” He stood up and pulled me up with him. I let out a small laugh after which he turned around to give me a bright smile.

“Pizza for sure.” I winked at him as he grabbed my hand to lead me into the kitchen. He let go of it to go fetch the menu. When he turned around I sighed at how beautiful he looked. “Louis.” He looked up at me and smiled. “Please don’t tell the other boys?” I looked down at my hands and waited for him to answer. He walked over to me and lifted my chin with his finger.

“If you don’t want me to then I won’t.” He kissed me lightly and then leaned his forehead against mine.

“I will tell them someday, when I’m ready.” I gave a smile. I then snatched the menu from his hand and hopped up on the counter. He placed himself between my legs, making me blush madly. He kissed the tip of my nose as I tried reading the menu.

“What are you having?” I thought about it as I read what they had to offer.

“I think I’ll just have what ever you’ll have.” I shrugged and looked up at him. “I’m not really fuzzy about that kind of stuff.” He snatched the menu from me and grabbed his cell phone from his pocket. He dialed the number and ordered a huge family pizza. I laughed when he said it and when he hung he turned to me with a curios stare.

“What is it now?” I raised one eyebrow at me and tried to look sassy. All I could do was laugh at him.

“You ordered a family pizza, that’s for four people. We are two, sir.” I bowed slightly as he began walking towards me.

“I thought that we could have it for lunch tomorrow too!” I gave me a bright smile and placed himself between my legs again. I blushed as his hands rubbed my thighs. He leaned forward and his lips were only inches away from mine as he spoke. “I love it when you blush.” He then pressed his lips on mine and placed his hands on my bum. He pulled me forward so that my lower abdomen was squished to his. I gasped as I felt myself become excited. His tongue slipped into my mouth and started fighting with my own. I moaned as his hands squeezed my bum tightly. My hands flew to his lower back as I pulled him closer to my body. As I felt his hands once more start to roam my body I broke the kiss and blushed madly. He looked a little flustered but placed his hands on my thighs again. I let out a sigh and looked down at the floor.

“I’m sorry.” He lifted my chin with his hand and stared my straight in the eyes.

“Why won’t you let me touch you?” He tilted his head a little and I hoped he would just drop it.

“Because I’m not like-.” Before I could continue he finished my sentence.

“Like Eleanor.” He didn’t say it like a question but I nodded anyway. “No you are better, Johanna.” I shook my head and pushed him away from me. I hopped of the counter and leaned against it.

“She’s a freaking model, how the fuck can I be better?” I looked him in the eyes and didn’t give him time to answer. “Why do you even like me? I am fat, Louis! I weigh more than you!” I screamed at him and my breathing was heavy. I never understood why guys liked me. Or well, only two have ever liked me.

“I don’t care, Jo.” I laughed a harsh laugh and looked at him.

“I have stretch marks Lou.” He looked at me in confusion. “You know those scars that people who are pregnant get. Well I haven’t been pregnant. I just got fat to fast. And I’ve got them all over. A constant reminder that I am not beautiful.” I had to look down at the floor. I felt ashamed for spilling that secret to Louis. I hoped he would just tell be that it didn’t matter and that he like me anyways.

“Can I see?” He spoke softly and I felt my stomach start to turn. I felt nauseous and I started to sweat. “Jo, I really don’t care but I know that if I tell you that it doesn’t matter without looking you’re not going to believe me.” I almost smiled at how well he knew me. I gave him a worried look and nodded.

“Okay.” My voice was weak as I lifted my shirt to show him my belly. His eyes wandered to my exposed skin and I never stopped staring at him. I wanted to see his reaction. He reached forward and touched my stomach before getting down on his knees. He kissed my stomach and then hugged me tight to him. His cheek resting on my belly and his arms around my back. I sucked in a breath and felt tears form in my eyes. As he heard my shaky breath he looked up at me and then stood. He took my head in his hands and gave me a long kiss. When he broke it tears were streaming down my face.

“You are beautiful and I am going to work hard for you to realize it. Every little scar only tells a little tale about how strong you are and how much love you need.” He placed a sweet kiss on my lips before the buzzer for the door interrupted. I sighed in content as he walked to grab our pizza.