Portugal

Stephanie's POV

"It's not worth fighting about." Niall says as I lean casually on to my balcony. I stare at the beautiful sunset, admiring how romantic the sky has become, but it has no encouragement towards tonight. The air is full of anger and annoyance that I just can't seem to shift. Maybe I'm over reacting? Maybe my hormones are playing a major part into how my head is working. Either way, I'm crushed and I don't know how to fight my way through.

"He knows me better than anyone else." I sigh as I look at Niall. He looks away quickly and runs a hand through his hair. The offended look on his face is one I'm very familiar with, Niall often uses as he can be so uptight towards me. I breathe out an effortless sigh as I stand up straight. "You know what I mean..."

"Yeah." Niall says as he steps back and shoves his hands in his shorts pockets. "You should go and find him." He adds and I turn to him and shake my head.
It's not that I don't want to make up with Harry, because Niall is right. This is silly and not worth fighting about, he made a mistake but for me to blow it up like this is a major eye opener. My heart is trying to get Harry's attention, as if I need something to get upset about to feel him want me again. Is that pathetic? Of course it is. Any normal human being would just simply tell their partner they need something more from them. Maybe I'm just stooping too low.

"Have you ever just wanted someone to want you? When you feel so ugly and complicated?" I sigh as the words leave my mouth, "How pathetic." I shake my head and start to walk away.

"It's not pathetic." Niall's words cause me to spin around to face him. "It could be hormones, it could be insecurities or it could be something you and Harry are lacking. You need to have this out with him." He adds and I frown as I can't quite believe he is able to listen to me and to try and help.

"I feel like my emotions are all over the place." I sigh and he smiles as he nods and takes my hand.

"I reckon it's all down to that little life inside of you, don't over analyse things. Just be honest with Harry, he deserves to know how you feel." Niall smiles encouragingly and I know he's right.
Sometimes I wish Harry would get me just like Niall does. He knows exactly what to say and is good with listening and helping, anyone would be lucky to have Niall in their life.

"Thanks." I say as I open my arms out and we embrace a friendly hug. I try not to let myself enjoy being this close to him, it's not healthy for my head to start being confused and distracted. I need to stay as clear headed as I possibly can.

As we let go of each other, Chloe walks in carrying a tray of cocktails. She smiles as she places the tray on to the balcony table and takes a very bright looking drink and holds it up to me.

"A non alcoholic beverage" Chloe says as I thank her and take a sip. I would do anything to have a proper drink right now, unfortunately I've got quite a long wait. "You okay now?" She adds and I nod.

"Yeah, I've calmed down" I smile and Chloe nods happily. I glance to Niall and mouth him 'thank you' before taking another sip.

---

Harry's POV

"Another please." I say as the waiter comes to take another order. He nods as he writes down my drink on his pad before walking off.

"You should be with Stephanie sorting this mess out." Lucy says as she folds her arms and looks at me. I glance up as I go to defend myself, why should I do all the chasing? Steph made it clear she didn't want me around her.

"Maybe we should keep out of it." Liam says as he looks at Lucy. She frowns to him and sits up straight.

"Stephanie is my friend and she's upset, she should be here and we should be having a good time. Not sat watching him drink himself silly!" Lucy snaps as she looks back to me.
"You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for us, especially me. So stop giving out orders like this holiday is all about you" I snap back and Lucy's cheeks turn a shade of pink. She quickly stands up.

"I don't know how Stephanie puts up with you. Don't think I've forgotten everything you have put her through. The past is the past but never forgotten Harry Styles." She turns away from me as she storms off. I roll my eyes as I look back to the others.

"Don't listen to her." Zayn says and I sigh as I look at my lap. How did tonight turn out so bad? It's stupid, completely stupid.

"She's crazy man, I know you two are getting on well but seriously, sleep with one eye open mate." Louis laughs and Liam shakes his head as I look up at them.

I know Liam likes Lucy but I can't help but think she may be into him more than he is to her. The way she looks at him, the way she blushes when he pays her a compliment, it's all pretty obvious. But Liam did seem to be pleased by his developing friendship.

"I keep changing my mind on her, it's bad I know. But she's very strong minded, I think I'd struggle sometimes but I also know what a lovely girl she is" Liam explains and he looks at me. "She didn't mean that." He adds and I shrug.

"It didn't bother me." I smile as I thank the waiter for my drink. Only til now I have noticed it's just me and the boys, minus Niall of course, and it feels great to be without females. I know how I'm thinking is temporary but it's good to be able to calm down and just chill out with friends. I'm sure Steph isn't even thinking about me or what I'm doing. Time apart sometimes can be good.

"This holiday isn't how I thought it would be. The girls are stressed, we have no idea what's going on half the time and Steph's pregnant. Then to top it all off, my friend is going to be a dad, how do I process that?" Louis asks as he looks at me and shakes his head. "Everything is changing too much." He adds and I nod as I do agree with him on that one.

"Time goes by quicker than we realise, that's why moments like these aren't worth wasting. Falling out with people is just pointless, we're not here forever. Portugal will be over and we will be back in cold London." Zayn explains with a hint of sadness in his voice.

He's right, it is pointless and I agree but that doesn't mean I should be a hero and turn up at our villa with flowers in my hand whilst declaring my love for Stephanie. In my opinion, I think some time wasting is needed because I have to be myself and to deal with things my own way. Steph knows me well. She knew me at my worst state where I didn't even know how to apologise or how to tell her how much she means to me, so now that I've gained alot of knowledge, it doesn't mean I'll be throwing words around because I can.

---

Present.

"Harry.." Louis says as he knocks on the bathroom door. I keep my head in my hands as I try to stop falling into past events. Stephanie and I have experienced enough grief and upset in our relationship and somehow we have always got over it. Whether it was big or small, stupid or serious, we always found a way through. But it's hit me hard this time because I know I can't get through this, not this time. It's too much for me, my mind can't process such lies and disappointment.

I wish I stayed to my old self. Before Stephanie I didn't bother to care about anything, if I was that Harry now, then this wouldn't even touch the sides of my emotion. I envy how my brain used to work, I may have been cold and struggled with females at times, but at least I was numb. I knew how to handle it, okay using my fist wasn't always the answer, but it helped getting the load off of me. Now I'm stuck, I'm stuck in this stupidly and soppy way that I can't even dare to be like the old me. Somehow I can't get h back even though I try my hardest to turn my ways of thinking, she's imprinted on me more than she'll ever know. I never want her to have the satisfaction of knowing this, I want her to believe I'm a dick and for her to struggle with me. I know it's harsh, but to me it's completely fair.

"Harry, come on." Louis sighs and I lift my head up and slowly stand up. I don't want anyone around me, not even Louis. But no matter what I voice, he won't leave or give in to my requests. The longer I stay in here, the longer he'll just keep calling my name. "I'm sorry about what I said, if you thought I was sticking up for Stephanie, well I wasn't. I was just trying to help you see it differently. I know this isn't what you want, I don't want to see you falling apart."

"I'm not falling apart." I state clearly as I open the door and he jumps. He shoves his hands in his hair as he straightens himself out. "And you don't know what I want. No one does." I add and Louis sighs as we head towards the living room.

I sit down on the opposite couch and watch him as he slouches down to get comfortable, I find myself doing the same. Looking towards him, I break the silence.

"Do you think her family knew? Would Jed lie to me?" I ask and Louis' eyes widen at my question.

"I'm not sure, I can't imagine him lying to you Harry" Louis answers and I look away as I'd like to think the same as him. As I mentally go through the list of people who may have known about Stephanie and her lies, I fall on Niall.

"What about Niall?" I ask and Louis looks completely puzzled and repeats my question. "Did he know?" I ask and Louis shakes his head and sits up straight.

"Of course he didn't. Harry, stop doing this to yourself. No one knew, until now." Louis says and I look away as this time I can't quite agree with him.

"I bet he does, you know how close they got on holiday." I mumble and Louis sighs loudly and leans forward clasping his hands together and leans his elbows on his knees.

"Nothing happened in Portugal Harry, you know they're just good friends." Louis answers and I don't bother looking at him.

"Friends with benefits, I bet they were still doing it behind my back" I snap as the thought and picture that I have suddenly created of them in my head sickens me. I feel my heart starting to speed up as my anxiety rises and my fists tighten together.

"You are doing yourself no favours. What is it with our group of guys over analysing things and turning situations into something that never happened. Remember when Zayn did that about me and Chloe? You were the first to defend me. But you're doing the same as him, jumping to conclusions." Louis groans as he stands up and starts pacing the room. I look at him and sit up.

"That was different, I knew what you were doing. I never once thought you may have had different intentions that night." I answer and Louis stops and shakes his head.

"You didn't though Harry, you can't get into my head. You couldn't put money on my thoughts and what I was thinking because it even fucked with my head. I didn't even know what was right or wrong because I fell into a hole that I luckily managed to escape from." Louis places his hands on his hips and bites his bottom lip.

I look at him in amazement, what is he trying to tell me? It can't be what I'm now thinking. He couldn't have liked Chloe, he wouldn't have done that to Zayn. I know the old Louis wouldn't have cared, but he's loyal to friends and I know he respected Zayn. But now, I'm not so sure how he feels.

"Did you like her?" I ask and he sits down on the arm of the chair. I wait as he looks at me and slowly shakes his head.

"I nearly thought I did, lack of female attention can really screwed your head up. But I controlled myself. Like Niall did." He answers and I look away allowing both of us to fall completely silent.

Notes

Happy Friday, finally the weekend :)
So quite a few little things in this chapter,
what do you think about Niall and Stephanie? And Louis and Chloe?
The next chapter will explain more about the night Louis and Chloe got a little too close, I hope you've enjoyed the little insights in this chapter. We've still got a lot of catching up to do :)

xx