Bystander

I answer it.
“H-hello?” I say, my voice cracking, trying to hide how I was just crying.
“Sarah?” says Luke.
“Y-yeah?”
“Why did you leave?”
“I-I-I-” i’m cut-off by Luke saying “Sarah, this was not your fault. Don’t you dare try to tell me that it was.”
“But it was.”
“No it wasn’t.”
“Okay. But I still feel horrible.”
“Please don’t. Will you come back?”
“Sure. I’ll be right there.” I say hanging up. I still feel it’s my fault.
When I get there, Luke is already outside waiting for me. I hug him as tight as I possibly can, still crying.
“Please stop crying. It hurts me when you feel so bad.” he says, truthfully.
“I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”
“I know.” he says, trying to fake a smile, but failing.
We walk inside, and the rest of the guys hug me so tight I can’t breathe.
“G-guys I c-can’t br-breathe.” I wheeze out. “I h-have a-asthma.” I say still wheezing. They immediately let go. “G-get inh-haler. P-purse.” I barely get out, trying to point. Ash runs to my bag and pulls it out hastily and runs back handing it to me.
“Are you okay?” he asks, genuinely concerned.
“I’m so sorry.” says Cal.
After a few minutes I laugh. “C’mere you big knuckleheads.” I say as I pull them into another hug.
Luke says “Are you sure you're okay?”
“I think i’m fine. Guys, seriously? This happens to me all the time. I have really bad asthma. Sorry I scared you guys so much. I didn’t know I meant so much to you, you all just met me like 4 hours ago.” I say slightly confused.
“Sarah, you mean the world to each and everyone of us.” says Ash.
“Yeah, you really do. I don’t know why, but we all just feel so comfortable around you. Like we’ve known each other forever, even though we just met.” says Mikey.
“I love you guys so much.” I say.
“Love you too.” they say in unison. They are such big goofballs.
When we’re done hugging, I pull Luke in another room with me.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I say. “I’m really sorry Luke.”“I’ll be fine. It just hurts.” he whispers. A tear escapes my eye.
“Please don’t cry.it really isn’t your fault.” he pleads looking me straight in the eyes.
“Again, I’m sorry, I can’t help it.” I says sniffling.
“I know, but it still hurts me too.” he says. And with that we hug for like 5 minutes straight.
When we go back to his room to find the others, I pull Calum into the hall.
“Cal, I’m sorry. I just c-”
He cuts me off. “I know what you're gonna say.” he says lifting my chin. “You don’t want us to be together because of Luke.”
“I-i’m so sorry Cal. I really am.”
“It’s fine princess. I know.” he says pulling me close and letting me cry into his shoulder. I just noticed right then and there how short I really am. I mean, i’m just about up to Cal’s shoulders. I laugh in my mind.
When we let go we go back to Luke’s room in silence. When we sit back down, no one says anything. It feels to weird.
“Guys I can’t do this anymore.” I say, breaking the awkward silence. “This just feel too weird. This isn’t the normal boys I know.” I feel more tears coming. “I think i’m gonna go home. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” I say getting up from the floor.
“Yeah, let’s all go home. After what’s happened today, I think we all need time alone to think everything through.” says Ashton.
“Okay. I’m going home too.” says Calum.
“Same.” says Michael.
“Okay see you guys later.” says Luke.
We all says our goodbyes and leave. I walk home. I hope I didn’t just lose my bestfriends.

Notes

I know, I know. lol really longggg. i'm sorry i just had to.
xoxo -Sarah