Basic Space

The next morning I wake up a little disoriented. The first thing I hear is my annoying alarm, and then I know I have to get up and go to school. School. Freaking School, has to start and ruin summer.
I manage to drag myself out of bed and take a quick shower before I get dressed. I decide not to wash my hair because I washed it yesterday and if I wash it tomorrow it will make it more greasy. But then I start to brush it, and it strongly smells like weed and pizza, and so I end up washing it anyway.
I decide to put on high waisted black jeans, a grey crop top and my black Vans I just bought. They are still in the box in my room.
When I emerge from my room, I am greeted by the wonderful smell of pancakes.
“Morning sleepy head” My mom says. There is no indication that she knows that I came home at 3am.
“Hello” I say, sitting on a highchair, putting a pancake in my plate. I put chocolate syrup over it and start to eat it when Aggie comes down the stairs.
“Hellooo” She sings. She looks so much fresher than I do. I look like a zombie, I know because I distinctively remembered to look in the mirror and check if I do look like a zombie, and I was not surprised to learn that, in fact, I do look like one. She sits besides me, smelling like flowers and puts a pancake in her plate.
“How was your night girls? Did you make friends?” Mom asks, her back turned towards me. I look at Aggie, not knowing what to say, and she quickly answers.
“Yeah we had fun. We were with Marissa’s friends on the beach. We were so tired when we came back, we fell asleep immediately. Addie practically teleported into her room.” She says smiling. She is such a good liar.
“Yeah. Sorry I fell asleep while waiting for you guys. But it was pretty late. It was like what, 12am?” Aggie nods, and so do I.
“Anyway, you need a ride to school?” She asks us. I look at Aggie. For some reason she’s the leader of us two and I take her lead. It’s always been this way.
“No it’s fine. We can walk” She says, shaking her head, and giving me a weird look. Are we actually walking.
I guess we are.
She has her flats on in under a minute, and I am already wearing my Vans. She grabs he big brown purse that goes with all the other pastel colours she is wearing, and mine is black and small, but big enough to hold my wallet, phone and keys and honestly that’s all I carry with me anyway.
“Are we really walking?” I ask, when we are already outside.
“Yeah. The school apparently isn’t that far.” She says. “Also, we need to talk” She says.
“About what?” I say. I’m nervous. Why am I nervous? She’s my sister, not my goddamned boyfriends. I should not be afraid of the we-need-to-talk talk.
“Well, first of all, why were you there until 3am?” She asks me. Her tone of voice is light, but I know she is really interested.
“We fell asleep” I answer shortly.
“Well, never mind that. Ok, so apparently Marissa suspected that Calum invited you over. And she got really jealous. Like…really jealous.” She begins, keeping her voice low. “So, I mean, she didn’t say anything directly, but there were indications. So that’s why I asked where you were and all that. And I told her that you weren’t with them, that you probably were either sleeping or out with my mom or something. And then Calum wasn’t picking up, and so she started…she started talking about him”
“What do you mean?” I ask her.
“Well, she was telling how he does drugs, and then hides it from her. How he goes to parties and doesn’t invite her. How he might have cheated on her and a while ago, and now he is like distant and all that.” She says, and takes a pause.
“So what are you saying?” I ask. I sort of have a feeling she’s not telling me this for funs and laughs.
“Just…I’m not saying you can’t hang out with him and his friends, just…be careful.” She says.
“Are you serious?” I ask.
“I’m just concerned about you and Marissa. I don’t want you in that sort of crowd” She says. Is she fucking with me?
“This is like freshmen year all over again” I say a little too fast, and i feel a lump forming in my throat and I have to shut up in order to swallow it.
“Addie, please. I’m just looking out for you.” She says.
“Right. Like you always are. You are doing this again, and you don’t even want to admit it” I say. We’re still walking, and I walk a little faster now. I don’t know why. I feel the back of my eyes sting and my vision gets blurry a little so I blink it off.
“Addie, that was four years ago. And I’m not doing it again. I am just telling you who you’re hanging out with, and to be careful.” She says, raising her voice a bit. I admire how she can keep so calm when I am on the brink of crying.
“Right. And should I tell you who you’re hanging out with? Oh right, you already know that. You’re hanging out with the guys who tried to rape me two days ago.” I say “But by all means, please, tell me that I have a bad crowd!” I say and then she stops walking and I walk a little to fast. I don’t even know where I’m going. I’m just going.
“Addie, wait!” I hear Aggie, but her voice is so faint, I can’t hear what she says after that. I make a right left turn and and bump into someone.
“I’m sorry” I say, and when I look at the person, the first thing I see is his green hair.
“School’s that way” He says, pointing in the other direction. I turn around and I can see the school from here. But I really don’t feel like going. And I feel like crying. And Michael notices “Hey, you okay?” He asks me, touching my shoulder.
“I’m fine” I say a little too abruptly.
“You don’t seem fine.” He says.
“My sister is getting on my nerves” I manage to say.
“Who cares, come on. It’s your first day” He says, ruffling my hair a bit.
“I am not a dog, stop petting me like one” I say, fixing my hair. He starts to laugh, and we walk to school. We finally get there and there a lot of people outside. Michael walks me to the principle’s office and wishes me good luck, and that he’ll wait for me so we can go to lunch together and join Calum and Luke. And I nod, and then I knock on the door and enter.
*********
When I have my talk with the principle and exit, I go to the administrators who are a few offices away for a schedule. They print it out and on my way out, I almost bump into Aggie. But I don’t say anything to her, and just walk away. I can feel her watching me go, and I don’t care, I just go and look for my classroom. Room 205. That’s probably on the second floor. I go up the stairs and look for it, and then finally find it. AP Psychology, first period.
The bell already rang while I was getting my schedule, so there are not that many people in the hallway. I read the name of the teacher one more time. Mrs Brown. I knock twice and then open the door. A slender woman, my hight, stands before the board. She is blond and looks like she is in her 40ties.
“Um…Mrs. Brown?” I say awkwardly standing there.
“Yes?” She asks confused and then “Oh, right, right, the new student. What’s your name?” She says, going through some papers on her desk.
“Adelaide Benson” I answer, and when I look around the room, I notice Michael sitting in the very back. He smiles at me, and I send him a shy smile, not knowing what to do.
“Ah, yes yes. Have a seat please. We’re only getting started.” She says. There are two empty seats, one is in the front row, another one is in the back, right next to Michael. I take the one next to the only familiar face in here.
And the class starts.
**********
The day goes by pretty fast. Second period - Math, Calum is in my class and we have Mr. Law. I see why they don’t like him. He takes the pleasure in torturing his students. Then third period - art. I really like my art teacher. She isn’t young, but not old as well, probably late thirties. She has blond short hair and energy to motivate the whole classroom. After that it’s lunch, and I am currently standing in front of the art classroom, which is on the third floor, and I have no idea where the cafeteria is.
I slowly start to follow all the others, who are all going downstairs, so I go downstairs as well.
With following everyone, I end up on the ground floor. I see Marissa with Stephen, and then I see Aggie joining them. She looks at me and waves, but I ignore her, and get lost in the crowd. Too many people, too many people.
“Wrong way” I hear someone say and I turn around to see Luke. “Come on” He says and smiles. I smile in relive and follow him outside. I see Michael and Calum seated on a bench around a wooden table in the yard. “You looked kinda lost” Luke smiles at me.
“Uh, no. What makes you say that? I knew exactly where I was going” I say and laugh.
“Yeah, yeah” He says, and we join Calum and Michael. It’s sort of weird to sit at a table with only guys. I say hi to everyone and Calum says it back, while looking in the opposite direction. We all follow his gaze and we find ourselves looking at Marissa and her friends. My sister being one of them. There are so many people on their table, some have to stand or sit on the actual table.
“You okay?” I ask him while sitting next to Michael. Luke sits next to Calum and takes out an apple from his backpack.
“An apple? Really?” Michael stares at Luke’s hands.
“I’m doing this healthy lifestyle thing.” he says, biting into his apple.
Michael has french fries before him on a tray, and I remember that I never got to the cafeteria to get food, even though I wasn’t very hungry since I had two pancakes this morning. But still…those fries looked good.
“Fuck it. I’m getting something to eat. You want anything?” Calum stands up and asks me. I shake my head, and he walks back inside. I glance at Marissa’s table and catch her looking at me. No, not looking at me, glaring at me. And then I look at Aggie and she has her head down. And then I look away. And I see, from the corner of my eye, Marissa, walking towards the school doors.
“Are you serious? You’re eating an apple and now you’re studying…what is that? Science?! Really?!” Michael says to Luke.
“I’m not studying, I’m reading. I happen to like science.” Luke says, looking at his book.
“Whatever” Says Michael eating his fries. “What happened to you this morning?” Michael turns to me.
“Nothing. I just spend a little too much time with my sister.” I say taking a french fry from his tray. He ignores it.
“It was 7am.” He says.
“She’s just trying to pull off something she pulled off in freshmen year. It’s fine though.” I say getting another one.
“Mhm.” He says, following my hand “You know, you could get your own french fries” He smiles at me.
“I don’t know where the cafeteria is” I say, a little to low, nibbling on the fry.
“Just inside through those doors and straight down the hallway. You can’t miss it” He says pointing to the doors we came through earlier me and Luke.
I nod and stand up because there is really no point in not getting my own fries if I continue to eat Michael’s. When I walk in, there are still kids inside, but not as many as before. And now I can clearly see the cafeteria on the other end of the hallway. I start walking and when I pass the stairs I hear voices. I recognise them immediately.
“I don’t care that you’re her neighbour. She needs to find new friends!” It’s Marissa. Wow, ok, chill.
I’ve unconsciously slowed down my pace and they can’t see me. I hope they can. And I can’t hear Calum’s voice, even though I know it’s him she’s talking to. “Calum!” She says.
“Alright!” he answers her, a little too loudly.
And then my eyes start to sting a bit, and I don’t know why, but this hurts me more than I expected. And I go into the girl’s bathroom and peek too see that Marissa’s has left, but Calum is still standing where she left him. And when I exit, Calum looks at me, and he can practically read it on my face that I heard everything.
“Addie…” He starts saying.
“It’s fine” I manage to smile.
“It’s not fine” He starts walking towards me, but I take a step back.
“No really. It’s cool. I understand.” I say, even though I don’t. “I’m just gonna get my things from outside, and I’ll be out of your hair” I say as I remember that I left my bag outside.
And then I speed walk, almost run outside. The lump in my throat is so big, I can’t swallow it.
“Did you get lost?” Michael laughs when I come into their view. But then he notices my fake smile, and my almost-blurry eyes, almost as in he can see that I’m about to cry.
“I have to go. I’ll see you around” I say and take my bag, and head back to the school. Calum blocks my door. I turn around to look at Marissa’s table. She is staring at us, and so is Aggie. But Aggie is not the one with the sadistic smile on her face. She looks sort of sad. Well, not sadder than I look.
“Wait, Addie” Calum says, but even if I do wait, I know what he’s going to say. He’ll apologise and tell me how much Marissa means to him, and how he has to do this, and that it was really nice meeting me, blah blah blah. Not in the mood for that conversation. In fact, I am not in the mood for any conversation.
“I have to go” I say and push pass him and then head upstairs. I don’t even know where I’m going. I don’t even know why this hurt me so bad. Maybe because I finally had friends of my own. Friends that I didn’t exactly share with Aggie, or weren’t Aggie’s friends that had to be nice to me because I am her twin. Anyway, I am not going to cry about it. Upstairs, I find a wooden chair that’s empty and I sit there. I take my phone out and pretend that I am busy, even though I am not.
“Addie?” I hear a voice, and I am ready to tell Calum to fuck off, when I see Michael climbing the stairs. “Hey. What the hell happened?” He says, sitting down next to me.
“I can’t be friends with you guys. Well, I can’t be friends with Calum, and you are Calum’s friends so we can’t be friend either.” I say not looking at him. His right arm is rested on the bench, just above my shoulders and his whole body is turned to me.
“Well, screw Calum” he says. I look up at him. “We can still be friends.” He smiles.
“No we can’t. I don’t want you to schedule play dates with me, and then with Calum, ok? We’re not 5. And it’s honestly fine, I’m fine!” I say and cross my arms in front of my chest.
“Well, I’m not giving Marissa the power to choose my friend as well.” He says.
We sit there in silence for a few minutes.
“Why is he even with her?” I say. I never want to get in the middle of relationships, but they meddled me. So it’s only fare that I play my part.
“Beats me” He says.
“She’s not nice, she’s possessive, why would you want to be with someone like that?” I ask, even though I know he doesn’t have the answer to that.
And he doesn’t answer, just shrugs. And then I hear another voice calling my name, and when I look up, I see Aggie walking my way. She looks to me, then to Michael and doesn’t know if she can approach or not.
“I am seeing doubles.” Michael jokes. Aggie smiles politely, but I don’t. My eyes are fixated on her.
“Can I talk to you?” She asks me. I look at Michael not wanting him to leave, but also not wanting him to see my sister give me her parental advice.
“And that’s my cue” He says, and stands up walking towards the stairs.
“What?” I ask her. She sits next to me.
“Are you okay?” She asks me. And then it clicks.
“You knew.” I say calmly as I make the revelation.
“She mentions that she might do something about your friendship. Not in front of me though. She said it to Stephen.” She says. Her voice is careful, and calm, like she is talking to a child after it’s tantrum. I hate it when she uses it on me.
“Well there you have it. You happy?” I say. I am being irrational but I can’t help it. I know that whatever I say to her, she will shrug it off, or forget about it in a few days, and we’ll have our distant relationship and sistership again.
“I’m not Addie. Look, I know you think I was trying to pull off…what I did to you in freshmen year.” She says. “And I came up here to see if you were okay. I can tell Marissa that I’m not feeling well, stay with you here, or wherever you want.”
“See, that’s the problem Aggie. You have to lie to a complete stranger that you are hanging out with your sister, because that complete stranger you met two days ago, doesn’t like the person you shared a womb with” I say and her eyes widen in surprise of my sudden outburst “And no. Please, don’t lie to your new friends. You can go. You’ll do us both a favour” I say and stand up. I don’t know where I’m going. I wanted fries. Okay good, cafeteria.
I walk down the stairs and hear Aggie’s slow steps behind me. I turn left towards the cafeteria and when I look back I see Aggie heading outside. I stand in like and get my french fries, and then I look for my next classrooms and try to remember the school hallways and, before I know it, lunch is over.
The rest of the day I have three more classes. English, which I have with I have with one of Marissa’s friends. Her name is Ashley, she’s blond, and she is the girl Aggie asked where Stephen’s house is the night of the party. AP Biology, in which I don’t know anyone, and History, which I have with Aggie, but I refuse to look at her or talk to her.
And then the school day is over, and everyone rushes outside to get on with their lives. Aggie asks me where I’m going after school. I say “Where do you think” and don’t give her another glance. And then I see her outside getting in a car with Stephen and some other people, including Chris. And then I see Calum and Marissa hugging, and Luke and Michael sitting on the fence, waiting for someone. At first I think it’s Calum, but then I see another car, a very loud one, Stop before them, and I can see Ashton in the driver’s seat, and they leave. And then I walk home. And that’s my first day at school. Horrible.

Notes

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