His hand is strong and big and he can easily wrap his fingers around my whole hand. But he doesn’t. He just gently tugs on it, then let’s it go while we’re ducking to come inside. The garage looks pretty small from all the space the drum set takes up, and all the guitars and everything. It has posters on the walls of bands like Blink-182 and All Time Low. The others are already emerging into a conversation.
“What happened to your hair!” the one guy I don’t know says to Michael. He has a stupid bandana on his head and is sitting in an arm chair, opening a can of bear.
“What’s with yours?” He says smiling.
“Well, first of all, it’s not the colour of a Martian.” He says, Luke laughs at this and so does Calum, taking a can of beer.
“Well, technically that’s a stereotypical view on Martians” I say, and everyone turns to me. Yes, way to be literal. And worst of all, I continue, but with less confidence “It’s brought on by cartoons and bad conspiracy theories” I finish.
“Thank you” Says Michael, because in a way I sort of defended him? I don’t know.
“Wow, you must be fun at parties” Says the guy on the armchair. “I’m Ashton by the way” He says smiling.
“Addie” I say, doing a little awkward turtle wave.
Luke sit’s on the ground, leaning on the left wall. Calum sits on the ground as well, facing Ashton’s armchair. There is a big blue carpet under our feet, so I guess it can’t be that dirty. I sit besides Calum. Then, they engage in the topic of school
“If I get Mr. Law for math again this year, I swear to God, I am going to smite myself” Says Michael, sinking into a bean bag on my right.
“One time he decided to take on Junors, and it had to be last year” Calum explains to me.
“Yeah, and he always takes the Seniors, and now that we’re in grade 12 he’s probably going to be our teacher….AGAIN.” Michael fills in, taking a swing from his can.
Luke is laughing seated with his knee brought up, holding a beer.
“Shut up Hemmings” Michael, throwing his empty can at him. Luke dodges it.
“You want one?” Calum asks me, holding an unopened beer, while Luke and Michael talk more on the topic of Mr. Law.
“I’m fine” I say. Calum settles the can between us as in a way of saying For later, and smiles. His eyes are a warm brown colour that I can get lost into. But I can’t, he has a girlfriend, and this is all in my head.
I smile back.
“Hey, where’s Marissa?” Michael says, rolling his eyes at her name. He doesn’t like her.
“She’s with her friends at the beach” Calum says. Ashton and Luke have amused smiles, which sort of points out the fact that none of them like her. I say nothing.
“So, why are you not there?” Luke says, exchanging a mischievous smile with Michael. Ashton is laughing, leaning in his armchair.
“Because I’m with you losers.” He answers. I can imagine them doing this to him everyday, because he is smiling and sort of used to it, apparently.
“Awwww, thank you Cal-Pal” Says Luke, and launches himself on Calum, hugging him and tipping him over. “You are my best friend evaaaahhh” He muffles into his shirt.
“Get off” Calum says, but then Michael jumps on both of them and they are all tangled legs and arms and just…it looks really uncomfortable.
I expect Ashton to get into this group hug, and when I look at him he just shakes his head “Not getting into that love fest over there.”
I laugh and so do Calum, Michael and Luke.
“Is this how gay sex works?” I says, and Ashton almost spits his drink. Mickey gets up laughing, and then Calum pushes off Luke, which doesn’t end well for Luke, because he lands hard on his right arm and starts Oh-ing. He manages to drag himself to his unmarked space next to the left wall, and rest his back on it.
“So, is she with Stephen there?” Michael says, opening another beer, the last from the first 6 pack.
“Yes Mickey, he is a part of her…friends group” Calum says finishing his can.
“Pretty close friends, if you ask me” Ashton says.
“Is the dude that threw the party yesterday?” I ask, pretty sure they are talking about him.
“Did you meet him?” Michael asks me.
“Sort of. Marissa said that he is like a brother to her” I say.
“Well then, that family is fucked up!” Ashton says, and they all laugh. I look at Calum. He is looking down and playing with his can. Then he takes another swing and, looks up.
“Where’s the pizza?” He asks, changing the subject.
“Yeah, I’m starving, and I was promised pizza” I say, trying to back him up, end this Marissa conversation that he is obviously not enjoying.
“Well I ordered it 20 minutes ago, and they said it would be here in 30, so i guess in ten minutes” Ashton says, looking at his watch the whole time.
“Complicated math, right there!” Luke says to me, pointing at Ashton. I laugh and I see Calum smile as well.
We have random meaningless conversations until we hear the doorbell which signals the arrival of the long awaited pizza.
“Someone go and get it.” Ashton says.
“Come on” Calum says to me and stands up. I follow him, not knowing why I must come with him. We duck under the garage door, that’s halfway open and see the delivery boy outside the house, holding two jumbo pizzas and one medium on top. Calum fishes out his wallet from his back pocket and hands the boy some money. The guy takes the money and starts to count our change, when calum says that he doesn’t have to give him change. Then we just stand there while the delivery boy leaves.
“Thanks for that” He says to me, trying to balance the pizzas on one hand while he is putting his wallet inside his back pocket again.
“For what?” I ask, acting all ‘lol, i didn’t do it on purpose but u r welcomed’
“The Marissa talk…backing me up with the pizza question…They hate her, and I have to listen to them every single day. So yeah…I owe you one” He says awkwardly, and then takes ahold of the pizzas with both his hands and we head back to the garage door.
The garage starts to smell like pizza immediately, but they don’t open them immediately.
“As requested by baby Luke here” Ashton says, standing up and going behind his drums. I look confused at him. Luke shakes his head and smiles at the nickname Ashton gave him. “And I am sorry Addie, I was not planning on a fifth person, so I only got four fours.” he says, opening a little box. He then takes out four joints and hands them to each boy. “You can share with Michael, cause he loses it, and these are strong if you smoke one alone, so you would help him.”
I glance at all of them individually. Luke is smelling his joint, to see if it’s actually weed or just tobacco-ripoff, Calum is looking at me, with a more ‘you don’t have to’ look, Ashton is looking for a lighter, and Michael is smiling at me.
To be honest it wouldn’t be my first time getting high. I’ve done it two times before. My first time was last new year’s eve at a party. I said why not, and it wasn’t anything special. My second time was at the end of the school year at yet another party. Aggie dragged me to that party because mom wouldn’t let her go alone and I had to come cause apparently she sees me as the responsible one. We got high on the balcony. Aggie’s boyfriend brought us the joint and me, Aggie, Sandra, and some of their other friends smoked them. That time was better.
And now would be my third time. So I sit next to Michael’s bean bag, and he joins me on the ground. Ashton lights his one first, then Calum, then Luke and finally Michael lights ours. And the air starts to have that familiar smell, and Michael goes first on our one. Then he hands it to me. I bring it to my lips and inhale. Warm smoke goes in my mouth, with the taste of weed, and passes my throat all the way to my lungs. And I hold my breath, like I’m suppose to, so it has a better effect, and then I slowly exhale. The garage, I notice, is closed, so the neighbours don’t smell it. And then I pass it to Michael.
“Fuck, I can’t anymore” Luke says. He barely passed half of it. He extinguish it on the ash tray Ashton provided for this very reason. He then puts it back in the box it originally came from and rests his back on the wall, closing his eyes.
“Ash this is too fucking strong.” Calum says and does the same as Luke, finally resting next to him.
And then finally Ash, gives up as well, and it’s just me and Michael, and then I give up cause I don’t like the taste of it and I feel my mouth burn and then it’s just Michael and he finishes his joint.
I rest my back and head on the bean bag, and so does Michael and we sit there. Ash is still in his armchair. And then it starts.
Luke starts talking and none of us understand him, and so we start laughing and imitating and laughing some more, and we can’t stop. Then Calum starts talking about Marissa, and Michael can’t stop laughing because Luke is throwing really clever comebacks at him, and I can easily addicted to Michael’s laugh, so me and Michael can’t even hear Calum from our laughter. Ash joins Luke and I see Calum being a little frustrated cause he can’t say anything about Marissa without them talking shit or joking. And then I tell them to stop and change the subject. And they turn on me. And we decide to open the pizzas.
“Pizza has never tasted so good” Michael says, stuffing his face with pizza. We all agree.
“Okay let’s do something” Luke says, chewing.
“Like what?” Ash asks.
“We can play monopoly” Michael suggests. I barely manage not to spit out my pizza, while Ash sort of doesn’t manage to do that. And the laughing fit starts again.
“Okay, okay like let’s play truth or dare.” Luke says.
“Oh my god, eight grade war flashbacks!” I say and laugh.
“What the hell happened in eight grade?” Michael asks, looking at me. He smells like weed and pizza and has a faint smell of soap.
“Dark times. We don’t speak of it” I say, eating my piece.
“Okay, Mickey, truth or dare” Luke says. His eyelids are barely open and his eyes are as red as the sun. Wait, is the sun red?
“Truth.” He says.
“Pussy” Calum mumbles but we could all hear it.
“Don’t push it, Hood” Michael says, smiling.
“Top three girls you are willing to make out from our school” Luke says, taking a small bite from the pizza piece he has.
“Naomi” He says and then turns to me “She’s really hot” he adds, pitting one finger up, “Sarah, the brunette” He says, another finger up. “And Ashley” He finishes.
“Marissa’s Ashley?” Calum sit’s up. His eyes as red as Luke’s. Kinda makes me wonder if mine are. I do feel dizzy and…light.
“Yeah, she is dumb as a rock but I would totally voluntarily stick my tongue in her mouth” Mickey says, and smiles.
“Don’t need the details of your future make out session with Ashley” Ash says.
“Do I ask now?” Mickey asks no one in particular. Luke and Calum confirm. Not me, not me. “Addie” Shit.
“Yes?” I answer.
“Truth or dare” He says, turning his head towards me, smiling like a dork.
“Truth” I say. I am never saying dare again after Josh. I was labeled Josh’s girlfriend until the end of eighth grade, and I got teased and annoyed with it so much.
“Oh come on” Luke throws his hands in the air, and they limply fall on both sides of his body.
“Who would you fuck from us four” Michael says, and smiles. He still looks like a dork with that smile.
“I am not answering that. Pass” I say taking another piece of pizza.
“Okay then, you’re gonna take a dare” Says Calum. I glare at him for half a second.
“That’s not how it works” I say smiling. Everything and everyone moves and talks so slow. I can’t even move my hand without feeling like it has been five minutes since I’ve started moving it.
“Then answer” Michael says laughing to himself. My head feels like it’s floating, like it’s detached from my head and I barely feel my legs.
“Okay” I say “No one”
“You have to pick at least one. Come on.” Michael says.
“Oh my god” I say, putting my head between my hands. I don’t feel the touch. “Fine. Michael.” I say, pressing my eyes with the heels of my palms.
“Well, then, let’s just leave you two kids alone. Have fun” Luke says, pretending to stand up. And everyone laughs and I feel blood rushing in my cheeks.
“Well, Ashton is like a billion years older than me” I say, and they laugh “And Luke is like what, 12?” I say and they continue to laugh.
“I’m 17. Just one grade below you guys” He defends himself.
“Whatever” I say “And Calum has a girlfriend, so it Michael wins by default.” I say, and hold my head again.
“I’ll take it.” He says, and they all laugh.
“Calum, truth or dare?” I say after they’ve calmed down.
“Dare” He says, and looks at me with a challenging look.
“Um…” I say, trying to think of something. My brain is so slow.
“Make out with Luke” Michael says, and I laugh.
“No, no” I say.
“Make out with Addie” Luke says.
“Oh my god no, wait” I say, still trying to think of something.
“Make out with Addie and Luke” Ash says, and Michael starts to laugh even harder.
I feel my phone vibrate, and I take it out, everything is slow motion I swear. The text is from Aggie. And my clock says that it’s only nine thirty. What?!
I open the text, still a little baffled by how slow the time is going.
‘Where are you???’
“My sister is asking where I am” I say, looking down at my phone.
“You have a sister?” Michael asks. “Is she hot?” He adds.
“She’s me” I say.
“What?” Ash asks confused, and Luke laughs.
“I mean, she’s like not the same person” I say trying to explain “But like, she is me” I finish. In my brain this makes so much sense, but apparently it doesn’t to them. So I just ignore it “Where am I?” I ask again.
“Ash’s garage” Luke answers.
But instead of writing that, I write
‘why?’
She replies very quickly like wow ok how do you type so fast, sister.
‘Do you by any chance know where Calum is?’
She replies. I read the text aloud.
“Why is she asking about Cal?” Michael frowns.
“She’s with Marissa” I whisper, not aware that I’m whispering, or why I’m whispering.
“Shit, where’s my phone?” Calum says, going through his pockets.
“It’s probably in your car” Ash answers him. He stands up, and loses his balance a little, but he manages to stand and walk to the garage door. He opens it and ducks under the, what seem slower, opening garage door.
He comes back very quickly, staring at his phone.
“I have eight missed calls from Marissa” He says. He looks seriously concerned.
“What do I tell my sister?” I ask Calum. He sits down where we sat at the beginning.
“Ask hew why and what happened.” He answers after some thinking.
‘Why? wht happnd??>/‘

I write, pretty sure I misspelled some stuff. I get a text immediately after that.
‘Marissa is freaking out. Just get him to call her, I am not telling her you’re with him. I’ll explain at home’
I read this text aloud as well and everyone goes silent. Calum is a bit pale. And then he dials her number and goes outside to talk.
We sit in silence for a while and then Luke makes a comment “Someone’s in trouble” and Ash laughs.
“I think something is seriously wrong” I say, looking the way Calum walked to. I can just see his legs, barely visible in the dark.
“Nothing is wrong. This happens all the time” Michael says.
“Why do you think we don’t like her?” Ash adds.
I shrug my shoulders. They are talking in a more hushed tone.
“She always does this to him. Like, he can’t have one good night because she calls him and yells at him for stupid things and then his mood changes.” Luke says.
“Like a few weeks ago, we were at my cousin’s birthday party. She’s a year older than us, and so she invited us, but she didn’t invite Marissa, cause she doesn’t know her. So we’re having a good time, right? We’re drinking, laughing and then she calls him” Michael says, taking a bite from a pice of the pizza “And she’s all ‘How can you go to some random girl’s party without me. There’ll be skanks there hitting on you’ She went crazy. ” He finishes.
I notice my jaw is sort of dropped.
“Why is she like that?” I ask. Usually there’s a reason behind it.
“No clue.” Luke says. “She’s been like th-“ He stops when Calum enters again. He is pissed and sits down next to Luke, leaning on the wall.
“What did she go on about now?” Michael says lightly.
“Mickey please, I don’t need this from you right now” Calum says. I look at Michael. He looks at Luke for help.
“Calum, mate, all jokes aside, she really is extremely possessive” Luke says, cautiously. “I mean, she does this to you every time.”
“You can’t go to the bathroom without her approval.” Ashton adds.
“And yeah we joke about it, but like, we’re really just trying to look out for you” Michael says.
“Okay, can we drop it? I don’t want to talk about it.” He snaps a bit. And they all go silent.
And we do. After that, we even stop playing truth or dare. Michael gets his guitar and starts playing and then Luke joins him, and the improvise and it sounds really good, so I film them for reference later, and then Ash joins in with some beat he makes up, and just like that, they are making music.
As I’m filming I look at Calum. He isn’t here. I mean, physically he is, but his mind is somewhere else. And I don’t plan on pushing him, so I just stick to filming and laughing with and at Michael, Luke and Ashton.
And time starts to go by faster, and faster, and then I’m barely even dizzy. And we check the time, and it’s already almost 1am. I feel very tired, and lie with my head on the bean bag and then Michael lies next to me. Ash passes out on the armchair, and Luke and Calum lie on the carpet. I have my eyes closed, but I still hadn’t fallen asleep when Luke I hear Luke’s voice.
“Are you mad at us?” He asks him. His voice is a whisper, but I can still hear them.
“No. If she was your girlfriend or Mickey’s or Ash’s, I would say the same things as you guys” He answers.
“Just dump her” Luke says after a minute “You’re starting year 12. She’s an 11th grader. She’s not cool enough for you”
“Luke, you’re an 11th grader” Calum says and laughs.
“Yeah, but I’m a cool 11th grader” He says, and they both laugh.
I slowly drift to sleep when I hear my phone ring. And I open my eyes. Ash is asleep, and so are Calum and Luke. Michael has his arm around me, must’ve moved in his sleep. I look for my phone on my ground.
It’s Aggie. I answer.
“Hello?” I whisper.
“Where the fuck are you?!” I hear her say, also whispering.
“At Ash’s. Why? What time is it?” I ask a little panicked.
“It’s almost 3am. Mom will freak out if you don’t come home. She doesn’t actually know that you’re not here, but she might, if she decides to look for something in your room and sees that there is not a person in your bed, but just pillows and blankets, so get your ass back here right now.” She says. I can barely comprehend what she is saying. My brain is still asleep.
“Wait…did you cover for me?” I ask.
“Yes, Ade, now come home.” She says more calmly. I smile.
“Since when did you became the responsible one.” I ask and I hear her laugh.
“Just come as soon as you can. I unlocked your door from your room, so don’t come in from the front ok? I have to go, you know, sleep and all that stuff. We have school in four hours.” She says, and then we say bye and hang up. Wow, Aggie actually covered for me.
“Calum….Calum!” Whisper, shaking him a bit. He wakes up and props himself on his forearms.
“What’s wrong? You okay?” He asks me, his eyelids struggling to stay open.
“I have to go home. I don’t know how” I say, crouching next to him.
“Come on, I’ll drive you” He says, and slowly gets up. He looks for his keys, wallet and phone on the ground then he opens the garage door, which is way too loud.
“Where are you two going?” Luke says, lighting his head from the ground. He is lying on his stomach and is squinting. The light on the ceiling is turned off. They probably turned it off when the went to sleep.
“I have to go home” I say. He gives me a thumbs up, and then crawls next to Mickey and hugs him.
I smile and at the sight of them.
“Luke close the garage door.” Calum whispers, and motions me to come after him. We hear a groan and when we get to the car, the garage door closes loudly.
Calum, yet again, opens the passenger’s door for me, and I am too bothered to make a comment about it, so I just climb in, and when he close it, i lean my head on the window and close my eyes. Before I know it, the car is moving. The sky is dark and the moon is high and full.
“Why is Luke an 11th grader?” I ask. He is the same age as me after all.
“He started school late” He says. “He didn’t fail so badly that he’s doing a year over again” He states. I laugh.
“I know, I was just curious.” We drive in silence and the ride is shorter now. Maybe because I fell asleep a bit in the car, or maybe because Calum was driving really fast. Either way, he parks his car in his driveway. And then he cautiously opens my door.
“Come on, we’re home.” He says, helping me get out. “How’re you getting in? Do you think your mom will hear you” He asks looking at my house.
“Without a doubt” I say “But I have a door in my room, and my sister left it unlocked so yay.” I say, my eyes closed the whole time. I can’t keep them opened.
“Do you need me to walk you?” He asks me and I shake my head and start walking but I lose my balance a little and he catches me by my elbows.
“Shit” I say as I’m trying to stabilise myself.
“Come on” Calum says, and he holds me by my arms, while walking besides me, and it looks like he has hugged me but he hasn’t cause he can’t do that. He has a girlfriend.
We walk to the side of the house that faces his and I try to open the door. It opens perfectly. My room is almost unpacked. Earlier, when I had four hours to kill, I unpacked some stuff. My clothes are mostly all in my closet, and all my books are in a box right next to the unattached bookshelves that are suppose to go on my wall.
“This is me” I say pointing. “Thanks for introducing me to your friends” I say and smile at him.
“If you want, you can sit with us during lunch. I know Luke and Mickey will expect you to” He says, tilting his head a bit, and putting his hands in his front pockets.
“Well, if my sister ditches me for Marissa and her friends, I’ll be at your table” I say.
“You’re always welcomed” He says. And then I take a step back, and so does he.

“Goodnight, Elle” He says, and grins, looking adorable. And when I say goodnight he can’t probably hear me because he is at the front of his house, and then I retreat into my room, lie down, and fall asleep in an instant

Notes

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