Soulcrusher
To make him pay
Apparently the safest thing for everyone was to take me away from the scene and out of the room. This seemed to happen a lot these last few days and I couldn’t understand what it was that made me lose control. Something about Niall made me snap and it wasn’t beneficial for anyone. I only hurt people when I was mad, that’s why I wasn’t allowed to do street operations anymore.
As I was currently sitting in Simon’s office, once again, I stared at the picture of him and me on the wall. I was smiling happily towards the camera and Simon had his arm around me. At that point in time I was only fifth teen and didn’t realize what was to come. Cursing myself underneath my breath I tore my gaze away from the picture and looked down at my hands. Even though the damage I always do towards Niall isn’t by my hands, I always look at them and they feel dirty. The other times I tried to convince myself that it was all Niall’s fault. It was because of him that I was losing my control. But this time that excuse just wasn’t cutting it. I knew now that this was all because of me, and that I had to refocus.
Simon opened the door slowly and walked into his own office with careful steps. It hurt me because no matter what I had done before, he has never been afraid of me. He slowly walked over to his chair, but didn’t sit down in it. He stayed standing as he stared at me staring at my own hands. We both stayed quiet for a long time until the silence was broken.
“Fear isn’t you being a coward, it’s you being smart enough to realize that you have dangerous creatures around you.” I surprised myself by speaking those words. My gaze stayed fixed on my smooth hands, feeling his disappointed eyes on me. “Wasn’t that what you told me the first time I was gonna go with you to work? I felt silly for being scared and you told me that being afraid could be a good thing.” I nodded to myself and dared to look up at him. He was staring at me with a blank expression but I could still feel the fear. “I’m sorry you fear me.” Simon took in a sharp breath when he heard my last words and quickly rounded the table to pull me into a hug.
“I’m not afraid of you, darling. I’m afraid for you.” He leaned back and took my head in his hands to make me look at him. “Nicola, he’s a vampire and I know he’ll survive. But you’re human, if he gets you, you are dead.” I sighed deeply and nodded to his words. I knew that, and I still provoked him.
“He gets on my nerves.” I felt the earlier anger reappear but I tried to shake it off. “Si, I don’t know what’s happening. He reads my mind.” I grabbed Simons hands in pure frustration and shook them gently as he nodded his head.
“That is a problem. But Nick, you can’t lash out like that.” I nodded and Simon glanced up at the door a second before it opened. When the person who interrupted spoke I recognized the voice as one of Nialls band members.
“Um, Simon? We need to speak to the two of you.” Simon nodded and leaned forward to whisper in my ear.
“Promise me this won’t happen again, please?” When he leaned back I spoke a soft ‘I promise’ and then the boys came into the room. I stood up from my place and walked over to the other side of the desk as they all sat down.
“How are you feeling Nicola?” Louis spoke to me but it took me a few seconds before I realized he had done so. I slowly nodded my head.
“I’m okay, how’s Niall?” Louis frowned and scratched his neck before answering me.
“He’s slowly healing. But it hurts for him.” I nodded and just as I was about to tell him how sorry I was, Simon spoke.
“What’s on your minds?” He was sitting in his chair and I was standing next to him, we looked like a united front.
“We know that all you’ve done for us Simon has been for the best, but we are worried about Niall.” The one called Liam spoke and Simon nodded along to his words.
“It’s not that we don’t think you can help him,” Harry spoke but was interrupted by Louis.
“We know someone here can.” He was looking at me but I ignored him. Harry ignored his words and continued.
“But he doesn’t deserve the physical abuse he’s submitted to at the moment.” I knew his words were coming down to this. He thought I was acting without a good enough reason and they were asking for me to be placed somewhere else.
“You don’t want Nicola working with Niall?” Simon didn’t sound confused or unhappy at all, he sounded bored.
“Well, we have different opinions about that. We just don’t want Niall to be hurt any more than he deserves.” I nodded because I agreed. I didn’t want to hurt Niall, but these last few days I’ve snapped a lot. I’ve been out of control and since I decided I was going to take back that control I shouldn’t be a hazard anymore.
“I understand and agree with you guys.” Their gazes shifted from Simon to me and I swallowed before continuing. “I know I’ve been the one who has hurt Niall the most and that you guys probably don’t even want me around him.” Louis shook his head while the others nodded. “I don’t want to hurt him, and with the help of Simon I am going to take control of me abilities again. You can trust me when I tell you that I won’t hurt your friend if he doesn’t deserve it.” They all nodded and I could tell they were a little less stressed about the situation. I smiled towards them and placed a hand on Simons shoulder. “Now if you excuse me, I’m going to go out and eat some lunch. I’ll be back within the hour.”
“Take an extra half hour.” Simon spoke quickly and I nodded before exiting the office that was filled with five vampires. When I was sure I was out of hearing range of them I picked up my phone from my pocket and dialed a number. I continued to walk as I waited for the person to answer.
“Hello? It’s ten in the morning, this better be good.” I laughed quietly and smiled as I spoke.
“It is babe. Meet me for lunch?” I heard him groan at the other end of the line before finally agreeing on meeting me.
“What’s the news then?” I laughed gently into the phone as I walked out of the big building I worked in.
“I just miss you that’s all. And, my boss gave me an extra half hour of lunch break.” I blushed and thanked the gods he couldn’t see me. “You know what that means?” He chuckled lowly.
“Dessert at my place then.”
As I was currently sitting in Simon’s office, once again, I stared at the picture of him and me on the wall. I was smiling happily towards the camera and Simon had his arm around me. At that point in time I was only fifth teen and didn’t realize what was to come. Cursing myself underneath my breath I tore my gaze away from the picture and looked down at my hands. Even though the damage I always do towards Niall isn’t by my hands, I always look at them and they feel dirty. The other times I tried to convince myself that it was all Niall’s fault. It was because of him that I was losing my control. But this time that excuse just wasn’t cutting it. I knew now that this was all because of me, and that I had to refocus.
Simon opened the door slowly and walked into his own office with careful steps. It hurt me because no matter what I had done before, he has never been afraid of me. He slowly walked over to his chair, but didn’t sit down in it. He stayed standing as he stared at me staring at my own hands. We both stayed quiet for a long time until the silence was broken.
“Fear isn’t you being a coward, it’s you being smart enough to realize that you have dangerous creatures around you.” I surprised myself by speaking those words. My gaze stayed fixed on my smooth hands, feeling his disappointed eyes on me. “Wasn’t that what you told me the first time I was gonna go with you to work? I felt silly for being scared and you told me that being afraid could be a good thing.” I nodded to myself and dared to look up at him. He was staring at me with a blank expression but I could still feel the fear. “I’m sorry you fear me.” Simon took in a sharp breath when he heard my last words and quickly rounded the table to pull me into a hug.
“I’m not afraid of you, darling. I’m afraid for you.” He leaned back and took my head in his hands to make me look at him. “Nicola, he’s a vampire and I know he’ll survive. But you’re human, if he gets you, you are dead.” I sighed deeply and nodded to his words. I knew that, and I still provoked him.
“He gets on my nerves.” I felt the earlier anger reappear but I tried to shake it off. “Si, I don’t know what’s happening. He reads my mind.” I grabbed Simons hands in pure frustration and shook them gently as he nodded his head.
“That is a problem. But Nick, you can’t lash out like that.” I nodded and Simon glanced up at the door a second before it opened. When the person who interrupted spoke I recognized the voice as one of Nialls band members.
“Um, Simon? We need to speak to the two of you.” Simon nodded and leaned forward to whisper in my ear.
“Promise me this won’t happen again, please?” When he leaned back I spoke a soft ‘I promise’ and then the boys came into the room. I stood up from my place and walked over to the other side of the desk as they all sat down.
“How are you feeling Nicola?” Louis spoke to me but it took me a few seconds before I realized he had done so. I slowly nodded my head.
“I’m okay, how’s Niall?” Louis frowned and scratched his neck before answering me.
“He’s slowly healing. But it hurts for him.” I nodded and just as I was about to tell him how sorry I was, Simon spoke.
“What’s on your minds?” He was sitting in his chair and I was standing next to him, we looked like a united front.
“We know that all you’ve done for us Simon has been for the best, but we are worried about Niall.” The one called Liam spoke and Simon nodded along to his words.
“It’s not that we don’t think you can help him,” Harry spoke but was interrupted by Louis.
“We know someone here can.” He was looking at me but I ignored him. Harry ignored his words and continued.
“But he doesn’t deserve the physical abuse he’s submitted to at the moment.” I knew his words were coming down to this. He thought I was acting without a good enough reason and they were asking for me to be placed somewhere else.
“You don’t want Nicola working with Niall?” Simon didn’t sound confused or unhappy at all, he sounded bored.
“Well, we have different opinions about that. We just don’t want Niall to be hurt any more than he deserves.” I nodded because I agreed. I didn’t want to hurt Niall, but these last few days I’ve snapped a lot. I’ve been out of control and since I decided I was going to take back that control I shouldn’t be a hazard anymore.
“I understand and agree with you guys.” Their gazes shifted from Simon to me and I swallowed before continuing. “I know I’ve been the one who has hurt Niall the most and that you guys probably don’t even want me around him.” Louis shook his head while the others nodded. “I don’t want to hurt him, and with the help of Simon I am going to take control of me abilities again. You can trust me when I tell you that I won’t hurt your friend if he doesn’t deserve it.” They all nodded and I could tell they were a little less stressed about the situation. I smiled towards them and placed a hand on Simons shoulder. “Now if you excuse me, I’m going to go out and eat some lunch. I’ll be back within the hour.”
“Take an extra half hour.” Simon spoke quickly and I nodded before exiting the office that was filled with five vampires. When I was sure I was out of hearing range of them I picked up my phone from my pocket and dialed a number. I continued to walk as I waited for the person to answer.
“Hello? It’s ten in the morning, this better be good.” I laughed quietly and smiled as I spoke.
“It is babe. Meet me for lunch?” I heard him groan at the other end of the line before finally agreeing on meeting me.
“What’s the news then?” I laughed gently into the phone as I walked out of the big building I worked in.
“I just miss you that’s all. And, my boss gave me an extra half hour of lunch break.” I blushed and thanked the gods he couldn’t see me. “You know what that means?” He chuckled lowly.
“Dessert at my place then.”
Notes
I'm sorry for not updating in forever! But I do have some what a good explanation... I've been working my ass off, and when I say that I mean it! A week ago it all caught up to me and I basically collapsed at work and been dehydrated for several days.. I just now started feeling good, and felt like writing a little something for you guys! I'm reeeaaalllyyy trying to update more, but we all see how that's going xDAnyways: Tell me what you think by commenting, subscribing and voting!
LOVE
o.m.g you're going to his concert? I'm so jealous!! i love his songs he sure knows how to use his words
4/23/14