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Soulcrusher

To make him realize

“Did you know that if a rabbit challenges a turtle to a race where the fastest one home wins, the rabbit’s the one who loses?” Louis was standing next to me as I tried to collect my thoughts before taking Niall for another feeding. He was constantly talking and I couldn’t seem to get him to shut up. Sighing as I pinched the bridge of my nose I tried to form a coherent sentence.

“I did know that.” It wasn’t a complicated answer but it was something. During the night I had trouble sleeping. I was constantly twisting and turning, thinking about everything I found out during the day. “Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out.” Even though Simon and I had agreed that I needed to keep my sarcasm at a minimum, this one just slipped out. Although when I looked at Louis he was simply smirking and was looking at the door I was too scared to open.

“Smart and feisty. I like it. Niall needs someone like that.” My eyes snapped up to look at the delusional boy next to me but he wouldn’t meet my gaze.

“What he needs is to stay away from me. Although I’m the only one who can hold him at the moment.” I sighed and leaned my head against the cold metal door.

“I think you’re wrong.” When I didn’t answer him but simply shook my head he let out a small laugh and continued. “I think you’re wrong because Niall isn’t always what you think. I know he doesn’t have any real emotions right now-..”

“Which is my fault.” I stated quickly, but Louis ignored me.

“But I’ve known him for so long that I know he will be sad if you go away.” I could only snort at his statement and look at him in disbelief.

“That would be awesome, if he actually had feelings. He doesn’t.” I paused and readied myself for opening the door in front of me. “Lou, you need to realize that the person in there is only a fraction of what he was before.” His face straightened a little and he nodded his head. Even though I didn’t think it was good for the rest of the boys to see him like this Simon had said they could. Louis was first. And now as I was opening the door I was truly hoping for his sake that what we would face inside wouldn’t be so bad. What we then was met with shocked me and I didn’t know what to do.

“Lou! Thank gosh. They wouldn’t let me call you guys. Or anyone for that matter.” Niall pointedly looked at me and I simply rolled my eyes and ignored it.

“They didn’t think it was good for us.” I was kind of shocked that Lou just told him why we wouldn’t let them see him first, but then I realized that he was obnoxious. Niall snorted at this and looked at me with an hateful look.

“Well, they obviously don’t know what’s good for anyone. If they want me to turn my freaking emotions on, why not let me spend time with you guys? We’re like brothers, or something.” That last part showed just how little he cared. Niall was trying to put a façade up and I understood that. But I could also see it. He was hoping he would get out of here sooner if he showed signs of emotion, which wasn’t the case.

“You guys of all people should know what it’s like to do stuff for the greater good.” I shrugged and looked around the small room we had put Niall in. It wasn’t all that much stuff in it and even though he had stayed here for less than twelve hours, he had totaled the place. I sighed deeply before turning towards his smirking face.

“What happened in here?” It wasn’t me who asked, it was Louis. He was looking around the room as if a bomb had dropped here during the night. Niall simply chuckled and shrugged.

“I got bored last night when little miss sunshine left me here alone so I entertained myself.” I groaned loudly and began walking over to the door once more.

“Time to feed.” I didn’t give him time to answer or get ready, I just started pushing him out the door. He was yelling wicked words after me but I ignored them and continued walking to the feeding area.

“Man, you need to drop the act.” Even though I was walking ahead I heard Lou’s whisper to Niall. I gritted my teeth because Louis obviously didn’t understand the seriousness in this all.

“I’m trying to. She’s not making it easy.” I snorted lightly and had to fight the laugh that was threatening to break out. He was seriously playing that card. He was making it out to be my fault that he can’t be nice. As we walked into the feeding room everyone turned to stare at us. I wasn’t all that surprised but it still annoyed the shit out of me. I gave them all a glare that told them to look away or something horrible would happen and they all did.

“I can talk to Si if you want, see if he can do anything about her.” Even though I wasn’t a vampire like all the others I could still hear Louis whispering in his lowest voice possible. His words made me angry beyond compare but I tried to hold my mouth shut.

“That would be awesome man.” I felt Niall move his head in a nod and ignored the feeling that told me he wanted me to react. Instead I turned around and faced Louis with a smile.

“Lou, you should join the others.” I pointed towards where the other boys were sitting and then continued to speak. “You must be hungry as well.” I noticed his uncertain eyes and reassured him. “We will be at the other side of the room. You’ll see us.” My smile grew when I noticed him moving towards his fellow band members. Unfortunately he stopped and spoke to Niall one last time.

“Dude, I’m gonna eat and then go do that thing we talked about. You gonna be ok?” Niall nodded shortly and watched his best mate walk away. When the snarl from earlier returned to his face I laughed out loud and pushed him towards the feeding table.

“You honestly think Simon’s gonna do anything about this?” I asked him with an honest tone. He wasn’t foolish, a trade I admired about heartless Niall.

“Of course. It’s entertaining to see them care so much.” He almost smirked at the fact that he was leading his friends on and I felt my smile disappear.

“That’s beyond cruel.” Nialls gaze snapped up to meet mine and he looked almost surprised. “They love you and would do anything for you. Tricking them will only make them hate you.” I looked at my hands and focused on the old scar on the inside of my right palm. “Isn’t it enough that you hate yourself?” My words somehow lured laughter out of Niall, one that was loud enough to make the other boys look over at us. When he stopped laughing and we stood there silent, waiting for his turn to feed, he spoke in a small whisper so that no one would hear him.

“Don’t think for a second that you know me girl.” He took a deep breath as if to steady himself, I could also feel him trying to break free of my shield. “And don’t think for a second that I can’t feel you trying to keep me out. It’s not working.” His voice took a sing-song tone to it when he spoke those last words and my gaze once more landed on him.

“Fine.” I spoke the word quickly and Niall look surprised.

“What do you mean ‘fine’?” He snorted as if what I said didn’t make any sense. I simply smiled and watched his reactions.

“You say it’s a lost cause? Keeping up a shield to make you stay out of my mind?” He nodded and I counted to three and let down everything I had up. “Then I’m dropping them all and letting you in.” It took him two seconds to hit the floor. Three seconds to grab his head. And another four seconds to start begging me to stop. I decided that I didn’t want to stop and he wanted it all.

“Stop it! Stop!” He was yelling as loudly as he could and looked at me with a horrified expression. I barely noticed the other guys running over as I kneeled next to Nialls acing body.

“You think you’ve had a tuff life? I’m 22 and lived more lives than you could ever imagine. Don’t ever think you know me.” I grabbed his chin with my hand and ignored the comforting warm feeling it gave me. “Not even Simon knows me completely.” Niall gasped once more and I threw his head back onto the floor. I was mad. Really mad. But I wasn’t going to give in and push him out of my mind. He could learn all about me, but he would never understand. No one ever does.

“Nicola!” Simons voice broke my train of thought and he came rushing into the room. I looked at him and felt slightly confused as I felt a body slam into me. Before I knew it I felt a sharp pain in my neck and then someone punched me. Everything went black and I couldn’t have been happier. My emotions had been running wild and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do about it all. I was for the first time since I was ten, split between the answer that would kill me and the safe answer. Although, this time I wasn’t so sure life was worth it.

Notes

I'm so sorry that this took so bloody long! I have no good excuse and I hope you still like the chapter!

I'll love you more if you comment!

LOVE

Comments

o.m.g you're going to his concert? I'm so jealous!! i love his songs he sure knows how to use his words

@ThatCrazyMofo agreed :)xx

Updaaaaaaaaaate, please!xx

ThatCrazyMofo ThatCrazyMofo
4/17/14

@crushingonniall
I'm hoping for her sake that it was in Stockholm :P Because other parts of Sweden aren't that fun ^^

@thelovelyreader
well,i don't exactly know but it was a family vacation they had5 people and they got a tour or something then they went to a museum shit idk but she said it was fun:)x