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My Judgement's Clouded

Said I'd never leave her

‘I wish you would let me hold you one last time. If this is over, if this is the end.’ – One Last Time, Agnes

My name was being called over the screaming voices and my body fell flat on the ground. Everything went silent and I felt arms around me, shaking me to wake up. I heard someone scream at me with a cracked voice that sounded tear stung. The voices were slipping further and further away and the peaceful blackness of no pain and light were taking over.
I was lying down. That much I knew. My body felt sore and I had a headache. The thing that had woken me was voices in the room. At first they sounded far away but now they seemed to be right next to me.

“How is she?” It was Liams wonderful voice. “Really?” He sounded very worried, that was a bit strange. I only had a small headache.

“We can’t know for sure until she wakes up, Mr. Payne. The hit was directed to the baby and we need to check if there are any fractures.” I heard Liam sigh and I tried my hardest not to cry. What if my baby was dead?

“But its still alive right?” The doctor didn’t say anything but from the way Liam let out a deep breath I knew he had nodded.

“We did an ultrasound when she came in and the baby had a heartbeat. We didn’t see any fractures at that time but we need to be curtain.” Liam didn’t respond and the doctors’ beeper beeped. He excused himself and left Liam and me alone. When I opened my eyes Liam was sitting on the chair next to my bed with his head in his hands.

“Liam…” At my voice calling his name his head snapped up and his hands grabbed mine. He hold on to it like it was his lifesaver and kissed my palm.

“How are you feeling?” He looked straight at me and I tried to smile.

“I’m a bit sore all over the body, which is strange considering she punched me in my stomach, and I have a headache.” At the mention of the girl who had hit me Liams face went dark. I really didn’t like seeing him like that.

“I am so sorry…” He whispered the words low and I almost missed them.

“Why?” The word just flew out of my mouth without me thinking.

“Because I could see she didn’t like you, I could’ve protected you.” I smiled at his kindness and tried to sit up a tiny bit. Liam noticed and shook his head, pressing me back onto the bed. He grabbed the remote by the bed and lifted the back so I was half sitting.

“There was nothing you or anyone else could’ve done. She was just in a really bad mood and I took the fall.” His anger got bigger by my words.

“But you shouldn’t have! She could’ve killed the baby!” I looked down at our hands and sighed. “She could have gotten you killed.” I gasped and looked at the man before me. He looked so vulnerable and so heartbroken. My heart broke and I felt tears coming to my eyes.

“But I didn’t die, neither did our baby.” Liam looked up at me and gave me a small smile.

“Our baby…” He whispered the words as if trying them out. He sighed and kept on looking at me. He looked at my face, searching for something. “The doctor asked me if we knew the sex of the baby.” He looked at me and I just smiled.

“I never got around to it. Every time I thought about finding out I thought about you, and that you would never get the chance to know him or her.” Liam smiled and started playing with my fingers.

“Do we want to know?” He looked up at me and I nodded. His smile grew even wider and he nodded to, like a child on Christmas day. “I should probably tell the doctor that you are awake too.” I smiled at me and stood up, not releasing my hands. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead before squeezing my hand. He walked out into the hallway but left the door open. When he left it felt like he left me alone with my thoughts. I didn’t want to think about it but I couldn’t help it. I sighed and looked down on my belly. I thought about the moment when she had hit me and slip the cover down underneath my stomach. I grabbed the shirt I was wearing and lifted it so I could have a look. My belly was full of bruises and it didn’t look pretty. I sighed and lightly ran my hand over it. I closed my eyes and began talking to my baby.

“I am so sorry if you’re hurting Baby. Even though I am not a big believer I am praying for you to be fine. That we are going to be fine. I love you and so does your daddy, do you hear that? He is going to take care of you the best he can and so am I. We love you more then there are stars in the sky.” I sighed and continued to rub my stomach as I opened my eyes. Liam was standing in the doorway smiling. I cleared my throat and hoped he hadn’t heard me. “So that was fast. Is the doctor coming soon?”

“Yeah he’ll be here in a second.” He smiled at me and moved his gaze to my bare stomach. His smile fell a little and I covered myself up. “You two are going to be fine, you know that right?” Liam spoke again and I sighed.

“Liam I heard you and the doctor talking before. I know that there is a chance that the baby might have some fractures. And is it does then it will be born with a miss formation. That is not my idea of okay.” He walked over to my bed and grabbed my hand. He sat down in the chair and kissed my palm before saying anything.

“We are all going to be fine, we will have each other.” He smiled at me and the doctor walked through the door. I let out a deep breath and felt even more confused than before. Even though I wanted to talk to Liam more the doctor was there so I directed my attention to him. He smiled at both of us and walked towards me. He picked up a clipboard on the way.

“So Rosanna, I have a few questions for you. Do you think you could answer them for me?” I mentally rolled my eyes at the man because he was talking to me like I was five.

“I don’t know what you are going to ask but I will try.” I smiled sweetly at him and waited for him to continue. He smiled back and folded the front paper back so he could write on the second one.

“First I want to know your last name. Preferably your full name.” I looked at Liam in confusion and he smiled apologetically.

“You have never told us your last name.” He shrugged and laughed a little.

“I am so sorry.” I blushed and looked at the doctor. “Rosanna Veronica Hedlund. It’s spelled H, E, D, L, U, N, D.” I smiled at the doctor as he wrote down my name. Liam looked at me and smiled a really happy smile. I was about to ask him what his problem was when the doctor cleared his throat.

“And you are a Swedish citizen?”

“Yes, from birth.”

“Your birthday please?” He kept on looking at the clip board as I answered all his questions.

“92-05-10.” I saw Liam smiling at this fact, none of the boys new when my birthday was. I stuck my tongue out at him and his smile grew.

“Well that was about it.” I looked back at the doctor and nodded. “We will have to run a few tests but I’ll have the nurses to that tomorrow.” I looked at him in confusion and then Liam.

“Why not today?”

“It’s 8pm darling.” Liam spoke and I shook my head.

“Did I really sleep that long?”

“Well we gave you a painkiller so that the injuries could heal a little by themselves without you moving around.” I mouthed and ‘oh’ and Liam grabbed my hand tighter.

“Are you okay?” Liam looked at me with concern written all over his and I just nodded.

“Anyway, your boyfriend told me that you wanted to know the sex of the baby?” A little too quick I answered.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Liams face fell a little and I squeezed his hand tight. “But yes, we would want to.” I looked at the doctor as he looked at Liam who nodded and smiled towards me. We both sat there in silence at the doctor spoke those soft words and told us about our baby’s sex. When he had broken the news Liams face was as light post and I felt like I would cry. This made it all so real and Liam knew it too. When I looked at him he looked like he was about to cry too and I laughed at how silly we were.

“Well I will leave you now and tomorrow morning I will send in a nurse to start the tests.” He turned to Liam a bit more and smiled. “You can stay the night if you want to.” Liam turned to me and I nodded, I didn’t want to be alone right now. “Good, I’ll see you two tomorrow.” We said goodbye to the doctor and he left. We sat in silence for several moments before anyone of us spoke up. We loved the feeling of this.

“Where are the boys?” I sighed with content and leaned back into my bed. I loved the feelings I was having.

“They had to go home when visiting hours ended.” He smiled at me and put my hand he was holding against his cheek.

“Oh, okay.” I smiled at him, feeling lucky to have someone as supportive as him in my life. “I am really sorry for the way I have treated you Liam.” His eyes had been focusing on something behind me and became focused on me now.

“It’s fine Rosie.” I smiled when he used the nickname only he and Maddie used on me. Maddie only used it to taunt me. “I am just glad that you let me help you.”

“So you’re not mad at me for not wanting you involved?” I looked at him with disbelief written all over my face. He smiled and blushed a little.

“I was, at the beginning. I didn’t understand why you didn’t want me there.” His smile got sarcastic and I got cautious. “But then Louis explained it all to me.” I right out laughed at his statement and didn’t stop until my stomach hurt even more.

“That is just priceless! He hated me before, and it sometimes feels like he still have something against me.” Liam sighed and shook his head.

“He doesn’t have anything against you. It’s Eleanor. She is best friends with Danielle and after what I did to her Eleanor got really mad at me. So when Louis told her about you…”

“She wasn’t very happy at all.” I smiled and shrugged. “Not much you can do about that though.” I thought about that night six months ago when Liam had confide in me that he wanted to break up with his girlfriend. It seemed like they were on the same page. “Was Danielle mad when you broke it off?” Liam thought about it and then shook his head.

“She wasn’t happy about it but she said she felt us drifting apart.” He looked down at his hand and sighed. “It was when I admitted to sleeping with another girl before we broke up that she got mad.” I made an ‘ouch’ noise and then looked at him apologetically.

“I am so sorry for that, even though I don’t remember any of it.” I laughed at myself and how stupid I was. I got blackout-wasted in front of One Direction. How stupid am I?

“It’s fine Rosanna. She isn’t mad at me anymore and we are friends. But Eleanor has a hard time excepting the fact that you’re having my baby. She is a Chicks before Dicks kind of girl.” I laughed out loud when he said dicks, he wasn’t the kind of guy that used vulgar language. But then again he didn’t seem like the reckless one either.

“So maybe it isn’t the best idea if I meet her then?” Liam looked at me with confusion in his eyes.

“But she is Louis girlfriend, it kind of comes with the job.” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“The job?” He smiled.

“Of having a One Direction baby.” He winked at me and I blushed hard. He laughed and then in a flash he fell silent and looked sad. I greased my eyebrows and looked at him with worry.

“What’s wrong?” I spoke softly, the voice of a mother. He looked at his hands, which were no longer holding mine.

“You and Harry…” I mouthed an ‘oh’ and hoped this wouldn’t come so soon. “Are you together?” He kept on looking at his lap as he spoke and didn’t look up at me as I answered.

“No.” He let out a breath. “But I don’t know what we are either, Liam.” He sighed and his shoulder slumped. “I do love him. But I have built up that love for him.” It was now my turn to sigh. “I feel like if I had to choose I wouldn’t know who to pick.” Liam looked up at me with red eyes, as if he was going to start crying any second. “I have this philosophy that no one can truly love anyone without knowing them. You need to know all of their faults and everything they are good at to know whether or not you love them. And that is what I have with Harry, I know him trough and through. But with you it’s kind of different.” Liam smiled weakly and nodded. “I can’t say I love you. Not yet at least. But there is something about you that makes me feel good. There is something that I had with you that first night that makes you a mystery to me.” Liam smiled widely and stood up only to sit next to me on the bed. He put his hand on my stomach and rubbed it.

When our dear baby kicked Liam laughed the most wonderful laugh I had ever heard and smiled to me. He lifted his hand and put it on the side on my face. He rubbed my cheek as I leaned into his hand more and then closed my eyes. I was smiling with real joy when I felt him lean forward. When I opened my eyes he was closer then before and my heart started to speed. The beeping machine I was hooked up on was going crazy. Liam looked at my lips and leaned closer and closer. When his lips were only millimetres apart from mine he whispered something that made my heart stop.

“I will make you fall for me.” He then kissed me and my world collided with his. His lips were as soft as rose pedals and I couldn’t help but to moan when he licked my bottom lip. He licked it and nibbled on it, asking for permission to enter my mouth and I obliged. His tongue met mine and dance in harmony between us. He was holding his hand in my hair and I grabbed his shirt so that he would move away. I leaned back slightly for air and looked at him. His eyes were full of love, that I couldn’t give him yet, and his lips were swollen. Gosh he looked hot. I smashed my lips onto his again and he let out a moan as I teasingly licked his bottom lip, even though his mouth was already open. Our lips united once more and he gave me one last long passionate kiss. When he drew back we were both panting and he looked really pleased. I looked at him in shock and he grabbed my hand to kiss my palm.

“Sorry…” Liam spoke softly and I could tell he didn’t mean those words.

“Don’t apologize for that…” I manage to let out the words in a whisper. I still looked at him in shock and he just chuckled. I tried to think straight and when I did Liam saw the change in my face and went silent. “Liam…”

“Yeah.” He tried to smile and I assured him I wasn’t going to say anything that bad.

“Do not tell anyone about this.” He just looked at me as I continued. “I need to figure it all out first.”


I loved the story. The ending was so cute! :)
naaah it's fine I'm just going to be subscribed to it to save the wonderfulness lol
Naah I mean dislike very much because I ended the story ;)
Well I mean I would never hate you.... Unless I know you o.O lol