When In Cancun

Emma’s P.O.V

I am such an idiot. Why didn’t I just say it back? I knew I loved him. I’ve known for the last couple of days! So why couldn’t I form the words? I was so shocked hearing him tell me that he loved me. I honestly didn’t think it was possible for him to feel that way in such a short time. I thought I was just crazy for always falling so quickly. I guess that’s why I kind of freaked out inside when I heard him say that to me. I really didn’t think it could be true.

When we got into the taxi for the airport something just clicked in me. It was like fear and doubt flooded through me. I tried not to let myself think horrible things like that, especially during my last few moments with Niall. I knew if I did I would do something I would regret, like break up with him. It was just so hard, the only thing I could think of was to be emotionless, I figured that was better than freaking out and crying all over Niall. He didn’t seem to like that though.

Then when we got to the airport and he kissed me outside the bathrooms, every emotion just came out. It all just felt way too good to be true. This was Niall Horan, and I’m an average boring girl from New York. What would he want with me? He was going off on tour soon and was sure to meet millions of girls. It was only a matter of time before he broke my heart. I really couldn’t handle growing any closer to him. At that point I loved him so much, and I really didn’t think he felt the same. I assumed that I wanted more from him than he wanted from me. Then he shocked me completely. He told me that he loved me. Not only that, he told me he was in love with me. I know he drunkenly said it, but that meant shit. This time he was completely sober and looked at me with such sincerity. My heart swelled for him, but at the same time my head was screaming at me. Could he actually mean it? In the midst of my mini panic attack I couldn’t find it in me to say it back so I blurted out the lamest reply. After the mix of hurt, anger, and humiliation that crossed his face I immediately regretted it. I mentally slapped myself for being such an idiot. The guy who I have been obsessing over just told me everything I had been praying to hear. And what did I do? I acted like a stone cold bitch.

He started walking away from me but I quickly chased after him and pulled his arm back to me. I didn’t even realize that I had been crying until I felt tears roll down my cheeks. He looked at me with anger that I had never seen before. I ignored it, because this was it. I was about to tell him.

"I'm so sorry Niall. I lo-" He cut me off before I could finish.

"You can't do this right? I was just some joke to you?" What was he serious? I guess it must have seemed that way. Shit I had to make it right.

"No Niall! I'm trying to tell you I-" He cut me off again! Ugh he was aggravating me now. Then he said the worst thing imaginable.

"You used me for my fame right? Is that it? You wanted your ten minutes of fame? Well guess what you got it, congratulations!"

Those words tore open my heart; they made me feel like a worthless piece of shit. Did he honestly think that about me? Has he not gotten to know me at all these past few days? I felt a whole new set of tears coming on. I never knew he could be so cruel. He basically just called me a scum, materialistic gold digger. Well fuck him. I honestly didn’t need this. The spotlight thing had been eating at me, but I put up with it for him. To be honest, I was probably going to receive a lot of crap about this from my parents and especially my grandparents for ‘harming the families reputation.’ I thought it was worth it for him. I guess I was wrong. I couldn’t even look at him in that moment. He was such a dirt bag to accuse me of such a thing.

“Fuck you,” I spat coldly at him. I walked away as quickly as I could, hiding my sobbing face in my hands. I heard him come up behind me.

"Wait, Emma, I'm so sorry baby. I didn't mean that! I promise! Please!" He begged grabbing my arm. I shook it out of his grasp.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed running away from him. I got to my friends who were thankfully in the front of the line. I ignored their worried faces and cried on Jens shoulder. Niall was yelling to get my attention, and to try and get me to talk to him. I didn’t even look at him. I hurried through security and out of his sight.

I was sitting on the plane. My friends generously gave me the window seat. Jen was in the middle and Andie was in the aisle seat. They tried talking to me about it but I put my headphones in and pretended to fall asleep. It was evening so the lights on the plane were dimmed. It was about a five hour flight. I had been pretending to sleep for a while now so I decided to check the time. Fuck, it has only been an hour. I groaned to myself and felt some one tug on my headphones. I looked up to a smirking Jen.

“I know you’re up babe.” She smiled. I looked around and most people were sleeping or busy watching movies. Andie was hunched over passed out on her pull down tray. She looked hilarious and if I weren’t in such a shitty mood I would take a picture.

“You caught me,” I smiled back weakly.

“Can you talk to me now?” She asked sadly. I never keep her in the dark about my problems.

“He said he loved me Jen.”

“What?! That’s great right?” Her face lit up, but then changed to confusion. “Then what happened? What did you say?”

“Um okay.”

“No, what did you say?” She asked not getting it.

“That’s what I said. ‘Um okay’” I admitted wincing waiting for her reaction.

“Your kidding right?” She asked in disbelief and I shook my head no, not making eye contact. “Why do you choose now to be afraid of love? You have always fallen so easily.”

“Not helping right now Jen,” I groaned.

“Right, sorry. So you said ‘Um okay,’” she rolled her eyes before continuing. “And then he obviously got pissed off and that’s when he walked away. Then you chased him and what happened then?”

“I tried telling him I loved him, because like two seconds after the ‘Um okay’ I realized what an idiot I was. So I tried telling him twice but he kept interrupting me and then he basically called me a gold digger and accused me of using him for his fame so I flipped and ran back to you guys.” I blurted it all out quickly and she looked at me shocked soaking it all in.

“Wow, I never expected that from him. That was a dick move.” She said and I nodded. “But you know he didn’t mean it right? He is crazy about you and was extremely hurt after you rejected his declaration of love.” Damn she was right. I knew he didn’t mean it, but it still hurt. Plus he couldn't have expected me to love him back right away, it hadn't even been two weeks. I obviously did feel the same way, but what if I didn't? He would just throw everything away because I hurt his pride.

“That was still horrible of him to say that to me.” I defended myself.

“I agree, but Em, just imagine if the rolls were reversed. You can’t say you wouldn’t have lashed out at him. He clearly wasn't thinking right. You were kind of freaking him out with your non emotion states.” I felt tears coming.

“Fuck, I need to talk to him.” I croaked, trying to hold back from crying on a public airplane. Jen pulled me in for a hug and rubbed my back motherly as I silently let tears fall.

“Don’t get upset. You will call him once we land.”

The rest of the flight I actually managed to sleep. We landed in JFK at 12:42 AM. There was an hour time zone difference, so it was later here in New York than in Cancun. I immediately called Niall as we waited for the seat belt sign to go off. He didn't answer, I tried again and it went to voicemail.

I felt the shocking chill breeze that you first get after coming home from a warm vacation. It was still chilly in New York, since spring was only beginning.

My friends and I exhaustedly found our luggage and made our way to the ‘pick up’ area. I wasn’t sure if our parents were sending a cab or not but my mood completely lifted when I noticed the black limo and handsome young man leaning against the trunk.

“Tyler!” I screamed dropping my bags and running into his arms. He easily held me up and spun me around. I missed him so much. I hadn’t seen him since Winter break. I was only home from school for a day before I left for Cancun so I hadn’t had a chance to see him.

Tyler was our families’ driver. He is only 25 and he is absolutely gorgeous, dark brown hair and big blue eyes. He has only worked for us for two years. He took a few years off from school so he could earn money to afford it.

“Em, I’ve missed you! I heard you met a guy?” He half asked while putting me down and walking to get my bags. I followed and helped him pick them up. My friends all loaded their bags in the trunk, giving Tyler and I time. They always tease me about him, but we’re just friends, I swear.

“Yeah, I don’t really want to talk about it though.”

“No problem,” he smiled opening up the door and all of my friends slipped inside of the limo. He usually just drives one of those nice black cars. I guess my parents sent him in this to fit everyone.

We dropped all of the girls off at their houses and we all made plans to hang out tomorrow. I was going to see them anyway at the stupid country club party I would be forced to go to. Tyler took me to my house and helped me bring my bags inside. It was really late and I was exhausted.

“Good night Emma.” Tyler smiled at me.

“Good night Ty, Thank you so much. Are you sure you don’t want to stay the night it’s so late. Sleep in one of the guest rooms.”

“I’ll be alright.” He said. I nodded and kissed him on the cheek and he blushed slightly.

“See you tomorrow,” he called walking out the foyer. I watched him get in his normal car and drive home. He lives somewhere in Lynbrook on the south shore of Long Island. I always asked to see his house but he would never take me. I don’t know why he thinks I would judge him.

I dragged my feet up to my room. I stripped to my underwear, threw on a big t-shirt and plopped down on my big comfy bed that I missed so much. If I could take one thing to college with me it would be my bed. I am going back to school in three days, which meant three whole days of dealing with my family. I was not looking forward to hearing what they had to say about the whole Niall thing. I knew it wouldn’t be good.

I tried Niall once more and my heart fluttered nervously. It was 3 AM here, so it was 2 there. It went to voicemail once again. I decided to leave a quick message this time.

“Hey it’s Emma. Right, you probably know that. Um- well, okay well- anyway, we need to talk. Please call me back. Thanks. Emma.”

Did I just say my name twice!? He has caller ID you asshole. Well that could not have been any more awkward. He’s going to think I’m an idiot. Ugh! Why is he ignoring me? He’s probably asleep stop stressing. Or he’s out having a wild last night in Cancun without you. Okay, time to sleep Emma you will try him again in the morning. If he doesn’t pick up then you will take a hint that he doesn’t want to talk to you.

Notes