8

First of all, I like how your characters' are Youtubers. Some people have used that, but not many.

Also, I like how the main character didn't bitch slap Chris or the girl he was cheating on.

Grammar? Minor problems.

It was kind of boring, but there was some humor. Also, I feel like it's almost...rushed. She meets Louis on the second chapter (that's fine, the main character has to meet One Direction someday) but she immediately goes to his soundcheck? If I were Louis, I'd be creeped out and run away. After all, he probably is used to running away from paparazzi. Is is Be Nice To Random People And Let Them Stalk Us day because Louis is basically allowing the main character to stalk him. Almost, but not quite.

Overall, it was good. I won't go crazy over a missing comma. Keep writing and slow it down a little. Before they go on dates, why not add a little drama? You know the saying, 'Drama before love'. No, haha, I made that up.

Notes

If you don't like my review, too bad.

I'll review your other story soon.