The Story Critic
Debt
Rating: 6
My Thoughts: It's a cool story! :) A lot of mature scenes... :P lol. It's a great idea! I'll try not to mention a lot of what happens in your story here, as I've given The Story Critic a G rating :) but it's really a cool idea.
The Story Critic Says:
Positive Points:
- The chapters are short and sweet. They are quick and to the point. It's nice that there are some stories out there that don't drag on and on, boring the readers.
- The ideas are well portrayed.
- The story is really different, compared to most. I know I've said that to a lot of the previous chapters :) but I feel like everyone's getting really crazy cool ideas nowadays! It's a good thing!
Negative Points:
- I said the chapters are short and sweet and quick and to the point as all... and they are. Don't change that, but I feel as if you are rushing the story. Slow it down a bit and describe a small event in the story as one small chapter. Get it? Otherwise, don't drag the story line too much, though. You're doing a good job on that already :)
- When you write down what someone is saying, you have to press enter (return if you are using a mac) and the type it so it is on a new paragraph. That is the way the English language is. So like this: .....
"Hello," she said.
"Hi, I said.
"How are you?" he said.
- Punctuation and capitalization matters. I know you aren't trying to make it a formal story, but it still matters. Otherwise, it just makes it a headache to read. Try to work a little on that.
Overall Thoughts:
- Cool story line. Wonderful structure and base. Just elaborate on the main story.
- Love the theme. It's not like the 1D boys are goody two shoes like in some stories, or like they are bad boys in other stories. They are a mix of both! They kidnapped Trisha and did bad stuff to her, but at the same time, they seem to be trying to be nice to her. I don't know if you wanted it to be like that, but it sure seems like it. It's great! Keep it up!
Guys check out Debt, by Curly245: http://www.onedirectionfanfiction.org/Story/16683/Debt/13/
My Thoughts: It's a cool story! :) A lot of mature scenes... :P lol. It's a great idea! I'll try not to mention a lot of what happens in your story here, as I've given The Story Critic a G rating :) but it's really a cool idea.
The Story Critic Says:
Positive Points:
- The chapters are short and sweet. They are quick and to the point. It's nice that there are some stories out there that don't drag on and on, boring the readers.
- The ideas are well portrayed.
- The story is really different, compared to most. I know I've said that to a lot of the previous chapters :) but I feel like everyone's getting really crazy cool ideas nowadays! It's a good thing!
Negative Points:
- I said the chapters are short and sweet and quick and to the point as all... and they are. Don't change that, but I feel as if you are rushing the story. Slow it down a bit and describe a small event in the story as one small chapter. Get it? Otherwise, don't drag the story line too much, though. You're doing a good job on that already :)
- When you write down what someone is saying, you have to press enter (return if you are using a mac) and the type it so it is on a new paragraph. That is the way the English language is. So like this: .....
"Hello," she said.
"Hi, I said.
"How are you?" he said.
- Punctuation and capitalization matters. I know you aren't trying to make it a formal story, but it still matters. Otherwise, it just makes it a headache to read. Try to work a little on that.
Overall Thoughts:
- Cool story line. Wonderful structure and base. Just elaborate on the main story.
- Love the theme. It's not like the 1D boys are goody two shoes like in some stories, or like they are bad boys in other stories. They are a mix of both! They kidnapped Trisha and did bad stuff to her, but at the same time, they seem to be trying to be nice to her. I don't know if you wanted it to be like that, but it sure seems like it. It's great! Keep it up!
Guys check out Debt, by Curly245: http://www.onedirectionfanfiction.org/Story/16683/Debt/13/
Notes
This is the last one I'm doing tonight.Sorry if you wanted it today, but it's midnight where I am and I've got to go to bed! :)
Sorry, guys!
I'll continue the critics tomorrow!
So stay subscribed so you will know when I update.
Rate and comment! Tell me what you think of my critiques! Am I being a bit too harsh? Sorry if I am! Is it helpful in anyway or the other? Let me know! Critics need to be criticized sometimes too! :P Thanks!
~ Lily <3
plz check out my story it's called "inspirational messages" and take your time I don't care when you review it as long as you do thanks so much
3/10/15