Punk Direction (Niall Horan love story)

Once I got out of the shower, I looked at myself in the mirror. I had a crimson color all the way from my cheeks to my nose. I can thank the steam from the shower for that one. My hairs were pulled under a towel and my neck and upper chest were showing, my pale skin a bit red thanks to the hot steam again. I couldn’t stop noticing how my collarbones were less prominent now. I’m happy to know that my diet is back to normal. But I know that I’m eating because I’m being forced in part. I don’t want to eat, and Niall is downstairs making something for us to eat.
Now that he’s not here with me, I started thinking about my sister again. I want her to be fine, I need her to be fine. She’s the one who I’m closer too. Yes, I talk to Maria more, but that’s because Jessica is so young she wouldn’t even understand what we were talking about most of the time. I like how her smile is so innocent, how her eyes smile so brightly they can light up an entire town. I have no idea how my life will be without her, and I don’t really want to imagine it.
When I get too preoccupied with something, I usually lose appetite, and I don’t want Niall to worry about me so I’ll eat. I’ll eat against my will, but I am going to. I’m an awful actor so I think I’ll try to do my best for him not to notice I’m upset.
I’m conscious I’m developing an obsession for Niall. I only feel alright when he’s around, I need to be with him every second I can and my thoughts are always directed to him. It’s not healthy, I know it, but I couldn’t care less. I love him and I need him, always.
Looking at the sink, I opened the water and took some to my mouth so I could get rid of the salty feeling in my mouth. I knew Niall had probably left some clothes for me on the bed, he always does. I walked out of his bathroom and into his room, the towel still hanging around my body. As I guessed, there were clothes in the bed. I grabbed them to see one of Niall’s white shirts, a wool jacket and a pair of shorts. I grabbed the shirt and the jacket that luckily was long enough to cover my bum. I didn’t need the shorts.
I opened the last draw of one of the bedside tables and took a pair of white boxers from there. I put them over the bed like the rest of the clothes and unwrapped the towel from my body, cleaning the rest drops of water that were still on my skin. I put Niall’s boxers on, making the band almost hit my bellybutton. Then, I grabbed the shirt and put it on, noticing it hit the middle of my thigh. I pushed my arms inside the jacket’s sleeves and adjusted the rest so it fitted my body. The jacket was so big it almost hit behind my knees, just a few centimeters up. I walked downstairs with my hairs still pulled in a messy bun, I didn’t want to cover up my neck.
Once I was close enough to the kitchen, I heard Niall talking, he probably was on the phone. I got inside, I saw that he was cooking, his phone being held between his shoulder and his ear while he was turning the hamburgers around. And he had no shirt on. It’s hard not to notice his muscles flexing every time he moves, or how his biceps size increases when he applies a bit more of strength. Suddenly, I felt everything down my waist tightening. Not now Johanna, forget it! I tried to focus on the talk he was having on the phone and how not to disturb him.
“Yeah, you think you can check that please?” He asked “I don’t’ want anyone to know! No one, got it?” He harshly asked “No one!” He spat “Hu-hum! Okay, call me when you’re done!” Niall said and hanged up.
I frowned. Who was he talking to? What was he talking about? Why couldn’t anyone know? Those were the three questions I was curious about, but I can bet he wasn’t going to tell me who he was talking to. I hate it when he closes up and doesn’t let anyone in, not even me. But I guess that’s him, and I fell in love with him that way. Still, I won’t lose for trying right?
He put his phone over the counter, not noticing my presence. I walked towards him, wrapping my hands around his waist, my palms touching under his belly button. He cringed and I kissed his shoulder sweetly, feeling the soft, fresh skin thanks to the bath, under my silky lips.
“Hi!” I said sweetly
“Hello there gorgeous!” He said and turned around, holding a spatula in his hand. I smiled playfully at him “How long have you been there?” I noticed that small change in his voice, that meant he was lying. I can thank dad and his researches for his movies for that one.
“Long enough to ask who you were talking to!” I said and he stiffened.
His face was nothing I have ever seen. He was so beautiful. So precious. He was an angel, a tattooed angel but who wants the perfect guy hu? I sure don’t! I prefer the moody, difficult and closed up guys. He was gorgeous, outside and inside.
But he made a weird face now. That spoiled milk face remember? And then he turned around. He turned his back at me! Really?! Is it that secretive? I really don’t need any type of insecurities right now! Not like this, not right now!
I pulled my arms from his waist and turned my back at him too, walking towards the kitchen island and sitting, still turned at him. What happened? Why was he like this? Did I do anything wrong? Or asked anything I shouldn’t have? I have no idea what I did, but he shouldn’t have acted the way he did neither.
“What are you doing?” I could hear the coldness and distance in his voice.
“What?” I asked
“You’re in my place!” He said and I frowned
“Sorry, I didn’t knew there was defined places!” I said, getting up and sitting on the other side.
He sat and put a plate in front of my face. I swallowed. Now I really don’t want to eat. It feels like there’s a knot in my throat. I swallowed again, trying to get rid of it and picked up a fork, leaving the knife on the side, I would grab it latter. I grabbed a chip with my fork and took it to my mouth, trying to enjoy the taste. I wasn’t succeeding a lot in it by the way.
“What day is it?” Niall asked, the distance in his voice still present
“Hum?” I asked and he cleared his throat
“I said, what day is it?” He asked
“Hum…” I said, looking at the clock he had gave me, luckily, it had the day we were at “Five, why?”
“You have school tomorrow!” He said and I swallowed again. Great way to tell me to disappear Horan, congrats!
“Fine!” I said coldly
I saw his hand trembling but he quickly regained the control over his limbs and kept eating. The silence between us was excruciatingly painful. It wasn’t normal, like it was when we were in the car, no, he was cold now, and he told me to go home. Okay, he didn’t use the words, but he said it.
I grabbed the knife this time, to cut the burger. I just wanted this to be over with so I can leave it here and go home, to sleep by myself, alone. Okay, I wasn’t going to sleep at all. I grabbed the coke he put on the table and opened it, pouring a bit in my glass. I was sure Niall could feel the tension between us, he just didn’t said anything about it. That’s fine, I’ll be gone in a few minutes so he can ‘relax’!
Once I was done, I got up without saying a word and walked to the bedroom again. I picked up my clothes from the bathroom. I don’t need this right now, and the only thing Niall’s doing id putting more questions in my head, I really don’t need it. I don’t even want to think about the option that he’s cheating on me! I don’t want to feel like the small little girl who got cheated by the big ass superstar. No, I need to get out of here. I need to leave Niall and all this freaking questions behind.
I put all my clothes on and walked downstairs. Niall was on the phone again. Probably talking about something super secretive right now. Am I the only one who noticed our relationship is getting more and more troubled? It’s messing up with my balance in life. I used to be a balanced person you know? Before I met him? I was balanced, I don’t think I am anymore.
Then, the anger hit me! All he wanted was a freaking blowjob and then he would dump me, that’s it? I felt discussed all of a sudden. Discussed of him. I know he didn’t want me to, but I was now! I was because in my head he only put up with me these two months because of this. I wanted to tell myself it wasn’t because of that! But how could I know?
I tried to think about it as I walked down the stairs. I didn’t have anything to support my convictions. I had no idea if he faked everything we had or if it was true. He could be a good actor, I didn’t knew if he was or not.
“I know, I know, but I think I’m losing control over things!” I heard Niall say over the phone. He was walking toward the hall I was in.
I stood there, frozen as he looked at me, eyes widening. I couldn’t move and I noticed the phone almost fell of his hand.
“Where are you going?” he asked and I started to run towards the door. I didn’t want to be close to him “I won’t go after you!” He said once I was holding the door knob in my hand
“I guess I don’t want you to!” I growled and opened the door, slamming it behind me
“Johanna!” I heard him yell. Then, a loud noise
I walked as fast as I could out of there. I didn’t want to be close to Niall, I didn’t want his doubts around my head, and I was angry at him. Truthfully angry. He used me! Niall used me!
I hate the feeling of being used. It’s awful! As I walked outside the gate of his house, I hoped he would run after me. But he didn’t, he kept his promise. I closed the gate and walked outside, immediately noticing movement in the street.
I let out a tear as I picked up the phone to call Danny! What a night, everything is going to happen to me is it? I dialed her number and she picked up at the third beep.
“Hello?” She sounded sleepy! What time is it?
“Hi!” I said
“Oh oh! You sound upset!” She said, her voice snapping out of sleepy in a split of a second
“Can you pick me up? I’m in front of Niall’s!” I said
“I’m not in my house, but I’ll be there when you arrive, I’ll send Nick there okay?” I sighed
“Okay!” She hanged up
Nick is Danny’s driver. She sends him everywhere when she can’t go to places she needs to. I never really talked to Nick because he was working and normally he doesn’t want people talking to him while he does so, plus I never really see him. He only drove me and Danny to dance classes when we were twelve. I never hanged around much to find out if he was a nice or a rude person.
It wasn’t long till Nick arrived in the Michelson’s Limo. I got in immediately. Nick, a handsome twenty seven year old was sitting in front, and he started driving. When Danny was younger, like fourteen years old, she had a huge crush on Nick, and that’s not an unusual thing to consider. I mean, Nick is awfully handsome. He has black hairs and big blue eyes, a pale skin tone and he’s tall. Like Harry tall, he’s huge.
I didn’t know anything about his personal life, besides he only took this job for his mother. His mother that is currently sick and has been for the past years. Nick wanted to go to college and graduate in medicine, still, he’s stuck with driving eighteen year olds everywhere.
“How’s your mother Nick?” I asked without thinking twice, noticing he stiffened, I quickly said “Sorry, I didn’t meant to…” he cut me off
“No ma’am, no problem!” He laughed nervously “She’s fine! Well, getting better!” His voice shivered
“Don’t call me man, or I’ll feel like I’m old, plus, you’re older than me and I don’t call you sir!” I said “And I’m glad she is!”
“What should I call you then?” He asked
“By my first name!” He stiffened again
“No, I can’t, it’ not right…” I cut him off
“Nick, I beg you to call me by my first name!” I said in a pleading tone. He laughed loudly
“Okay, Johanna!” He said, I noticed it felt weird for him
“Thank you Nick!” He laughed
“Bad day?” He asked without taking his eyes from the road
“Bad life!” I mumbled
“Don’t say that, your life has been awesome till now, what changed?” He asked me
“I got a boyfriend!” I said, pulling my knees up till my converses supported in the bench
“That explains everything!” He said and rolled his eyes. I laughed at his attitude “Oh, hum, sorry!” He said
“No, don’t be! I like you!” I said
“Weren’t you supposed to be Danny’s friend that’s completely different than her?” He asked “The goody-two-shoes that doesn’t do anything wrong? The one that was supposed to be a virgin till married?” He raised an eyebrow, looking at me through the rearview.
“I was supposed to! I never said I would be!” I said and he gave me a smile, focusing in the road again
“You need to let lose sometimes!” He said
“Ah, Mr. I’m-Always-Wearing-A-Closed-Expression-For-Work is telling me to relax?” I asked and he raised an eyebrow again, like he was wandering how I knew he was always quiet “yes, we noticed! We used to notice you all the time! Four years ago, Danny had a huge crush on you!” I shrugged and he widened his eyes “Yes Nick, she did!” He laughed
“Do you notice everything around you or am I too easy to read?” He asked and I thought about it
“Both!” He laughed again. It wasn’t a keckle or a low pitched laugh, he knew how to laugh, like Niall.
“What’s wrong?” he asked “Your face fell!”
“Nothing! I just thought about something I shouldn’t!” I shrugged
“Well, I’m sure Mrs. Michelson will help take that from your mind!” He smiled at me
“Do you know how angry it makes her when you call her ‘Mrs. Michelson’?” I asked and he frowned, shaking his head negatively “It’s makes her pissed! But don’t tell her I aid that okay?” He nodded and laughed, exiting the car.
In less than a second, Nick was by my door and opened it, extending his hand for me to grab it. Without thinking twice, I hugged him after I got out of the car. He stiffened for a second, but then hugged me back, his hands wrapping around my back, his chin supporting in my shoulder.
“Thank you!” I said and he smiled in my hair
“Always Johanna!” He said and pulled back. I smiled at him and kissed his cheeks sweetly, turning in my heels to walk to the door.
I was about to knock on the door when it opened. Danny was there, she was peeking through the peephole, I’m sure of it. She grabbed my arm and pulled me inside.
“What happened? Are you okay? What moment was that outside? And why is Nick blushing like a college kid?” She blurted out and I sighed
“Niall almost kicked me out after a blowjob! I’m not okay cause I feel like I’ve been used! That moment outside was a friendly moment and Nick is probably blushing cause I kissed his cheek!”
“BLOWJOB?!” She yelled and I widened my eyes, covering her mouth
“Calm down!” I said, dragging her till her room.
Once inside, I let go of her and jumped in her bed. I covered my ears with one of her pillows not wanting to hear her talk. When I closed my eyes, the only thing I saw was his eyes, and his lips and his smile. I started to cry on Danny’s sheets. I cried silently. Was used, feel worthless. My mouth just lost value. Two hands grabbed my waist and lifted me from the mattress. Danny threw me to the sofa she had in her room and pointed a finger at me.
“You didn’t lost no value?” Did I say it out loud “Yes Johanna, you said it out loud!”
“I lost value Danny!” I said, looking down and blinking, making two more tears run down my cheeks.
My hands were trembling as I poked my nails and my legs felt like they turned into jelly. I felt horrible. Here I thought he loved me hen the only thing he did was fool me, fool me like the little fool you are.
“You’re not a fool Johanna!” Danny sighed, sitting in the edge of the sofa “You’re in love! Who never felt it that throws the first rock!”
“But, but I wasn’t supposed to…” She cut me off when two more tears ran down my cheeks
“We all make mistakes love!” Danny said “We both know you weren’t supposed to, but you did and that’s fine! Heartbreaks exist, a lot of songs are written about it. They say it’s unbearable. I disagree. Alcohol exists for something right?” She smiled and I didn’t how not to laugh at her stupidity
“Right!” I told her as I cleaned my cheeks with the back of my hand rudely
“So, tell me what that chemistry with Nick was, because the boy looked like he was a tomato!” I rolled my eyes. I knew I had to tell her the whole story or she wouldn’t leave me alone
**
I was laid with Danny in her bed. I knew my parents would take care of my sisters, but honestly, I couldn’t care less about it right now. My heart was aching because of Jessica and because of Niall. Suddenly, my phone rang. I grabbed, not wanting to wake up the blond beauty that was sleeping by my side. We all know Danny needs her beauty sleep. I had a message
‘Am I the only one who’s not capable of sleeping? Please, come back!’
I closed my eyes. It hurt, in my chest, it hurt! It hurts to know why he always calls me! He only wants me because he’s horny, not because of me. I put the phone over the bedside table and closed my eyes. Maybe he’ll give up.
Yeah right! Niall never gives up on things he wants’ remember? I nodded to myself.
He told me he never gave up, and I remember I called him a jerk for calling me an object. I remember how much I disliked him back then, how I wanted to get away from him. Now, the only thing I want it to be close to him, and the distance is killing me. My phone beeped again
‘Don’t ignore me Johanna! We both know you’re awake!’ I rolled my eyes to the message and put the phone back again.
A few second later, it beeped again
“What the fuck Horan, leave me alone!” I growled out loud and Danny grumbled in her sleep
‘Answer me Johanna, or I swear I’m going to knock on your houses’ door till they break!’
‘WHAT DO YOU WANT?’
‘Is your capital key broken or something?’ He asked
‘NO! I meant to yell at you! What do you want? I’m trying to sleep! In case you don’t remember, I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW, as you so kindly remembered me!’
I rolled my eyes and put the phone back, hoping that sentence would make him shut up. But it didn’t, a few seconds later, Niall replied
“Yes, I warned you. So?’
‘Are you kidding me? You practically told me to leave!’
‘NO! Why would you assume that?’ He asked
‘It’s your fault! You were acting all distant and cold. I made you one question Niall, one freaking question, I feel like I don’t know you! I feel like you used me for sex! You have no idea how it feels like! You used me!’ I wrote and sent it as a tear slipped my eye
‘You at Danny’ right?’
‘WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!’
‘I want to tell you the truth about me!’ I froze.
O.M.G!
I was about to know the truth about the bad boy!

Notes

OH GOD! That secret remember? Does anyone remember James? The name he called when they slept together in the same bed? She's about to hear James story!
I hope you enjoy the chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it :))
Love Ya :3





Plus, if you couls check this, it would be great