I don't even know what we are now...."

---

The next morning Mike drives me to school, as usual.


Is it weird that I'm nervous to see Ashton again?


We get out of his car and get greeted by Calum and Luke.


"Hey guys." I smile.
"Hey May, Ashton was looking for you...?" Calum says, even though it was more a question.


"Where is he?" I ask.
"Library."


"I can make that before the lessons start. I'll see y'all in break." I walk away.


I get sweaty hands along the way to the library.
Why would I be nervous?


It's just Ashton.


Just. Ashton.


I walk into the library and and see kids hopelessly trying to get their essays done.


I see Ashton at a table, working on the biology essay.


"Hey." I smile while I sit down in a chair next to me.
"Uh.. Hey." He looks up and smiles.


"You wanted to talk to me?" I ask.
"Uh.. Yeah.." He puts down his pen.


"I just wanted to know... If you maybe regret it... what happened yesterday..." He mumbles.
"No, Ashton, I don't."


I surprise myself with my reply, but it's true.
I don't regret it. I never actually did.


He stares at me and I giggle.


"You... Don't.. regret it? Like nothing at all?"
"Nope."


He smiles too.
"You really thought I would regret it?" I smirk.


"I thought that you would never wanted to see me again." He giggles.
I smile.


The bell rings and I sigh.


"I'll see you in break." I say as I stand up.
I walk away and go to my next class.


Let's get this hell started....


When we have finally break I walk to Mike and his friends. I mean, Nikki is sick and I'm not gonna stand on my own.


"What did Ashton wanted to talk about?" Calum asks when he sees me coming.
"Hey, yeah, I'm fine, thanks for asking." I roll my eyes at him.


"Why do you care?" I ask.
"I don't."


"Then why did you ask?"
"Just curious."


"Well, he wanted to talk about the essay that we need to write for biology. He didn't get it totally so he asked me to help him." I lie.


Calum nods his head, still believing it.


"Hey guys." I hear Ashton behind me.
"Hey." I smile and he smiles back at me.


"So, do you understand biology now?" Calum asks to him.


Fuck.


"What?" Ashton asks.
"The biology essay. I explained it to you this morning in the library, that's why you wanted to speak to me." I hint him.


He nods his head.
"Uh... Yeah, I get it now." He smiles to Calum.


Calum nods his head again.
Ashton looks at me and I quickly lift my shoulders.


"So I didn't get biology?" He whispers into my ear.
"Nope." I whisper back.


"Maybe you should teach me some after school." He smirks.
"You're honestly disgusting. Where's the nice Ashton? I want him, not the bratty one."


"You want me?"
"You know that I didn't mean it like that."


"I think I know exactly how you meant it."
I roll my eyes and finish my food.


"I'm already walking to my class since it on the other side of the school." I tell the others as I stand up and walk away.


"Good luck." Michael yells after me.
"Thanks." I yell back.


When I'm almost there I feel a hand on my shoulder.
I stop and turn around to see Ashton.


"What's wrong?" I ask.
"You forgot you jacket." He holds it out.


"Uhh, thanks." I take it from him.
He sees his change and quickly kisses me.


"I can be the nice Ashton all the time if you want me to." He mumbles.
"You can?"


He nods his head.
"Show me." I smirk.


He smirks back before kissing me softly.


I lay my hands behind his neck and he slightly pushes me back against the lockers.
He rests his hands on my lower back and pulls me closer.


"You see, I can be nice." He smiles after he broke the kiss.
"Yeah, sure." I pull him onto my lips again and feel him smirk before kissing me back.


"Well, well, well,.... what do we have here?"

Notes

Okay, so this will be the last update of today.

I also gotta tell you guys something else that recently happened... I've started this message already 5 times over but... I'm sure you all heard about what happened at the Ariana Grande concert in Manchester. My best online friend was there and she was in the area where it happened, I know that because she sent me pictures of the tickets when she bought them. One of her rl friend messaged me that night telling me that she was ''still missing'' but they all already knew she passed away that night. She was the only person that I felt like I could tell everything. I'm glad (in some sort of way) that our last messages were about how happy we were that we met each other. She was one of the kindest persons I knew... It's feeling weird, knowing that I can't text her or call her because she won't answer. She's not there. The only thing that I'm sure of right now is that we'll meet again. When that happens, I'll hug her like I did when we first met. I'll tell her everything that I still need to tell but never got the chance to. And I'll never let her slip through my fingers again.


I'm sure that some people will ask themselves why I post so much about my own life online, but I went through so much shit and I just wanna help people who are maybe going through the same right now.



It's okay if you don't understand, you don't need to. I just wanted to tell you. I had to tell you and face reality because I keep breaking down. I keep telling myself that she's still there and that she'll pick up the phone when I call. But she won't. She just won't.




'