Help Me
Chapter eight - Apologies
Niall's POV
Sitting there, listening to the doctor going through the huge list of Brooke's injuries, all I can feel is guilt. There is so much more I could have done to help her, but yet all I've done is watch her fall out of a tree and break even more. I could've climbed up there, got her down safely, prevented those injuries. I shouldn't have been so opposed to the idea of going to the university, I wasted 10 minutes just arguing with Liam about how boring it would be! Those 10 minutes could have saved this girl from a near-death experience, but I sacrificed her health and safety for a petty argument! I'm so stupid, this is my fault. All of it is my fault.
I abruptly stand up, not wanting to be in this room with the girl I almost killed. She's looking up at me with a mixture of pain and sadness on her face, and I just start running. Out of that room full of guilt, down a long white corridor. Past a startled nurse, through some swinging doors, past a room with a small child's cries echoing from within. I hate hospitals. Full of sadness and pain. Finally, as I push through another set of swinging doors, I find myself in a small rooftop garden. I collapse onto a wrought iron bench, and breathe in the clean, fresh air. Footsteps sound behind me, and soon I feel someone sit down beside me. Wordlessly, an arm rests itself around my shoulder, and I lean into what I can now tell is Harry's broad shoulder. "It's not your fault." He doesn't know what I'm feeling though. "It was my fault, we were late getting to the uni, I was the one who argued with Liam about going! I could have stopped this!" I hate crying. It just makes me feel weak. But there are already two tear stains in Harry's t-shirt as I bury my face into his chest.
Harry's POV
He's always doing this. Blaming himself for things that are out of his control. He takes himself so seriously, and although the fans just see happy, carefree Niall, he actually is so much more of a person than that. All of the boys know that he really struggles with his self-esteem and self-worth, but he tries to distract everyone from that fact by being loud and cheering others up. But I know that once he's alone in his hotel room after an exhausting day, away from the fans and paps, and everyone else, it hits him hard. I've heard his sobs through the thin hotel walls. But he won't let anyone help him, or even comfort him.
That's why we've taken this break. We all need it, after the stress of being on the road for four months. I know it's hitting Zayn especially hard, he seems to be less and less involved and interested in the band every time we do an interview. It's only February, and we're already taking a break from the road. We all need it though, and now we're going to need it more than ever with this whole 'saving-girls-from-near-death-and-crazy-exes' business.
Lost in my thoughts, I don't notice my phone vibrating. Niall leans away from me and wipes his eyes as I reach into my back pocket. Paul. The name flashing on the screen blares at me. Oh shit. We've been gone for hours, and I completely forgot that we never told anyone where we were going. Trying to brush away my nervousness, I accept the call.
"Paul, I-"
"Don't even try to explain, just tell me where you are. I can't believe you boys."
Feeling extremely guilty, I mumble, "at the Royal Brisbane and Women's Hospital."
"Oh dear God. It better not be because of one of Louis's stupid 'ideas' again. Just hold on, We're coming now."
"Okay, thanks Paul. I promise we'll explain everything once you get here. Room 204, Ward 27."
"We'll be 10 minutes. Please don't do anything stupid."
He hangs up the phone. Oh God. He was using his calm voice. That basically means he's furious. Niall's looking at me with wide eyes. "We have to go back and warn the other boys. He's furious!", he says. I nod and we both stand up. Niall still has tear tracks on his cheek, and I wipe them off with the sleeve of my sweater. He smiles his thanks and we briskly begin to walk back to Brooke's room.
As we get closer to the room, he begins to look more and more nervous. I know he doesn't want to go back inside, so as we reach the door, I hold him back from entering the room. "You wait out here, I'll go get the lads." He sighs in relief, and leans up against the corridor wall as I push the door open. Six anxious faces look back up at me. The doctor must of left. I beckon to the boys, ignoring Caitlin and Brooke's confused looks. "Paul's coming. We have to go outside to meet him." They all immediately jump up. Brooke's face changes to worry. "Are you going to get in trouble because of me?" Liam grabs her hand. "Don't worry, we've been 'missing' many times before. We'll survive." She still looks nervous, so he leans down and gives her a hug. She visibly relaxes, and I grab Liam and pull him into the corridor to meet the other boys. They're all looking very nervous as we anxiously wait for the huge telling-off we're about to get.
Two minutes later, we all perk up as we hear loud, hurried footsteps down the corridor. Rounding the corner is Paul, followed by Paddy and Alan. They look mad. As they reach us, Paul begins to yell. "Explain. Now!" Zayn starts to talk. "Well, Louis thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of the hotel in the back of the laundry van and find a car-" Paul is glowering down at Louis, who is visibly shrinking away from his glare. "I don't care about that, HOW DID YOU END UP AT THE HOSPITAL?!" Looking around at us, he's getting more and more red in the face. "You all look fine, why are we even here?" Everyone suddenly becomes very interested in their shoes. "Well, we kind of, found someone who needed help, and we brought them here..." "Ok, so why are we still here? They're in good hands now, I'm sure they'll survive without you guys! And Niall, why are you wearing Liam's sweatshirt?" Niall plays with the sleeve that's too long for his small arms. "My shirt... got too much blood on it, I had to throw it away", he says, still not meeting Paul's eyes. "Wait, blood? What's going on here? Actually, you know what, never mind, you can explain back at the hotel!" That's when Niall looks up. "No, we can't leave!" "Niall, I've been looking all over bloody Brisbane for you boys the whole afternoon, WE'RE LEAVING NOW!"
"NO!", Niall yells. He's shaking his head frantically, but he's going under. I step forward and try to speak calmly. "Paul, we can't leave. We need to call the police and report Jake right now." "WHO IS JAKE?? ACTUALLY I DON'T CARE, LET'S GO!"
Niall flinches, but stretches out a shaking hand towards Brooke's room. "She-she'll tell you." Paul turns towards the door, looking like he's ready to behead someone. "Don't go in, you'll scare her!" But too late, Paddy and Alan have already followed him in, all looking very threatening in their black uniforms and angry expressions. "She's going to have a heart attack", Niall whispers in horror, and before we can move, a scream echos out of the room. We all look at each other, and run towards her door.
Caitlin is standing at the end of Brooke's bed, looking terrified but furious at the same time. "Get out!" she hissed. Brooke is sitting straight up, her face as white a sheet, apart from the stitched gash on her forehead and her noise and jaw with their purple bruising. "GET OUT RIGHT NOW!" Caitlin yells. Her hands are shaking. I push past the security team and run to her, but she pushes me off. "They're terrifying her! You have to make them leave!" I hear a whimper from behind us, and I look around to see Brooke cowering away from us, covering her face. Niall is beside her in an instant, but she flinches away from him, obviously expecting someone to hit her. Paul is looking shocked, and Liam manages to pull him out of the room.
I pull Caitlin into my arms, she's crying silent tears. "What if that was someone coming to hurt her? I can't protect her from that!", she sobs into my chest. She suddenly gasps and turns around. "Brooke, breathe. Just breathe, they're gone." Brooke is taking short, jagged breaths that sound extremely dangerous. "Please, just breathe." But her breaths are starting to sound like she's not taking in any oxygen at all. Brooke clutches at her chest, desperation and fear evident in her gaze as she stares at me and Niall. Suddenly, I hear a small voice.
I figured it out
I figured it out from black and white
Seconds and hours
Maybe they had to take some time
Caitlin is singing. It's honestly the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. Brooke is still shuddering, but her breathing is beginning to slow down. Suddenly, another voice joins Caitlin's, and I look over to see Niall singing too.
I know how it goes
I know how it goes for wrong and right
Silence and sound
Did they ever hold each other tight
like us
Did they ever fight
like us
Brooke is less pale now, and her breathing is slowing. This is really working. I add my voice to the chorus.
You & I
We don't want to be like them
We can make it till the end
Nothing can come between
You & I
Not even the gods above
Could separate the two of us
No nothing can come between
You & I
Brooke let's out a small shaking sigh, and is immediately enveloped in a gentle hug from Caitlin. It is amazing to see their strong bond. They look more like sisters than best friends. Well, I guess they'd have to have a bond like that, with all that they go through.
Caitlin pulls back and smiles tearfully at me. Brooke, however, looks confused. "Why was Paul Higgins in my hospital room looking like he wanted to murder me?" Niall speaks up quickly. "He wanted to make us leave but we told him you were too important. He basically flipped his shit and was about to come in here and see why you were so important, but then he was faced with your guard dog of a best friend who basically saved you from the worst telling-off of your life." I notice how Niall refrains from telling her about our plan to call the police.
She hugs Cat again, and I notice Niall looking at her apologetically. I grab Cat's hand and pull her out of the room, gesturing with my head back at the two people looking at nothing but each other.
Niall's POV
I awkwardly move closer to her, and to my surprise, she grabs my hand and pulls me down so I'm sitting on the side of her bed. "Brooke, I'm so sor-" "Niall, don't worry about it, honestly! I'm fine, and I understand how it gets overwhelming. Trust me, running out is all I felt like doing." I understand how scared she must be, and I don't know how she's so forgiving. I literally abandoned her because I couldn't handle the guilt of not being able to prevent it. Coward. She pats the side of her bed, and I shuffle over so we're lying together, looking up at the white ceiling. We lie there in comfortable silence, until she speaks up. "It must be nice."
"What?" "It must be nice, travelling around the world with your four best friends." "Oh, right. Yeah, I love it. We get up to some stupid stuff though. Like, this afternoon, we were so bored but security wouldn't let us go out so we escaped in the back of the hotel's laundry truck. Louis thinks up a lot of the stupid stuff we do. There was this other time in Brazil that we..."
Sitting there, listening to the doctor going through the huge list of Brooke's injuries, all I can feel is guilt. There is so much more I could have done to help her, but yet all I've done is watch her fall out of a tree and break even more. I could've climbed up there, got her down safely, prevented those injuries. I shouldn't have been so opposed to the idea of going to the university, I wasted 10 minutes just arguing with Liam about how boring it would be! Those 10 minutes could have saved this girl from a near-death experience, but I sacrificed her health and safety for a petty argument! I'm so stupid, this is my fault. All of it is my fault.
I abruptly stand up, not wanting to be in this room with the girl I almost killed. She's looking up at me with a mixture of pain and sadness on her face, and I just start running. Out of that room full of guilt, down a long white corridor. Past a startled nurse, through some swinging doors, past a room with a small child's cries echoing from within. I hate hospitals. Full of sadness and pain. Finally, as I push through another set of swinging doors, I find myself in a small rooftop garden. I collapse onto a wrought iron bench, and breathe in the clean, fresh air. Footsteps sound behind me, and soon I feel someone sit down beside me. Wordlessly, an arm rests itself around my shoulder, and I lean into what I can now tell is Harry's broad shoulder. "It's not your fault." He doesn't know what I'm feeling though. "It was my fault, we were late getting to the uni, I was the one who argued with Liam about going! I could have stopped this!" I hate crying. It just makes me feel weak. But there are already two tear stains in Harry's t-shirt as I bury my face into his chest.
Harry's POV
He's always doing this. Blaming himself for things that are out of his control. He takes himself so seriously, and although the fans just see happy, carefree Niall, he actually is so much more of a person than that. All of the boys know that he really struggles with his self-esteem and self-worth, but he tries to distract everyone from that fact by being loud and cheering others up. But I know that once he's alone in his hotel room after an exhausting day, away from the fans and paps, and everyone else, it hits him hard. I've heard his sobs through the thin hotel walls. But he won't let anyone help him, or even comfort him.
That's why we've taken this break. We all need it, after the stress of being on the road for four months. I know it's hitting Zayn especially hard, he seems to be less and less involved and interested in the band every time we do an interview. It's only February, and we're already taking a break from the road. We all need it though, and now we're going to need it more than ever with this whole 'saving-girls-from-near-death-and-crazy-exes' business.
Lost in my thoughts, I don't notice my phone vibrating. Niall leans away from me and wipes his eyes as I reach into my back pocket. Paul. The name flashing on the screen blares at me. Oh shit. We've been gone for hours, and I completely forgot that we never told anyone where we were going. Trying to brush away my nervousness, I accept the call.
"Paul, I-"
"Don't even try to explain, just tell me where you are. I can't believe you boys."
Feeling extremely guilty, I mumble, "at the Royal Brisbane and Women's Hospital."
"Oh dear God. It better not be because of one of Louis's stupid 'ideas' again. Just hold on, We're coming now."
"Okay, thanks Paul. I promise we'll explain everything once you get here. Room 204, Ward 27."
"We'll be 10 minutes. Please don't do anything stupid."
He hangs up the phone. Oh God. He was using his calm voice. That basically means he's furious. Niall's looking at me with wide eyes. "We have to go back and warn the other boys. He's furious!", he says. I nod and we both stand up. Niall still has tear tracks on his cheek, and I wipe them off with the sleeve of my sweater. He smiles his thanks and we briskly begin to walk back to Brooke's room.
As we get closer to the room, he begins to look more and more nervous. I know he doesn't want to go back inside, so as we reach the door, I hold him back from entering the room. "You wait out here, I'll go get the lads." He sighs in relief, and leans up against the corridor wall as I push the door open. Six anxious faces look back up at me. The doctor must of left. I beckon to the boys, ignoring Caitlin and Brooke's confused looks. "Paul's coming. We have to go outside to meet him." They all immediately jump up. Brooke's face changes to worry. "Are you going to get in trouble because of me?" Liam grabs her hand. "Don't worry, we've been 'missing' many times before. We'll survive." She still looks nervous, so he leans down and gives her a hug. She visibly relaxes, and I grab Liam and pull him into the corridor to meet the other boys. They're all looking very nervous as we anxiously wait for the huge telling-off we're about to get.
Two minutes later, we all perk up as we hear loud, hurried footsteps down the corridor. Rounding the corner is Paul, followed by Paddy and Alan. They look mad. As they reach us, Paul begins to yell. "Explain. Now!" Zayn starts to talk. "Well, Louis thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of the hotel in the back of the laundry van and find a car-" Paul is glowering down at Louis, who is visibly shrinking away from his glare. "I don't care about that, HOW DID YOU END UP AT THE HOSPITAL?!" Looking around at us, he's getting more and more red in the face. "You all look fine, why are we even here?" Everyone suddenly becomes very interested in their shoes. "Well, we kind of, found someone who needed help, and we brought them here..." "Ok, so why are we still here? They're in good hands now, I'm sure they'll survive without you guys! And Niall, why are you wearing Liam's sweatshirt?" Niall plays with the sleeve that's too long for his small arms. "My shirt... got too much blood on it, I had to throw it away", he says, still not meeting Paul's eyes. "Wait, blood? What's going on here? Actually, you know what, never mind, you can explain back at the hotel!" That's when Niall looks up. "No, we can't leave!" "Niall, I've been looking all over bloody Brisbane for you boys the whole afternoon, WE'RE LEAVING NOW!"
"NO!", Niall yells. He's shaking his head frantically, but he's going under. I step forward and try to speak calmly. "Paul, we can't leave. We need to call the police and report Jake right now." "WHO IS JAKE?? ACTUALLY I DON'T CARE, LET'S GO!"
Niall flinches, but stretches out a shaking hand towards Brooke's room. "She-she'll tell you." Paul turns towards the door, looking like he's ready to behead someone. "Don't go in, you'll scare her!" But too late, Paddy and Alan have already followed him in, all looking very threatening in their black uniforms and angry expressions. "She's going to have a heart attack", Niall whispers in horror, and before we can move, a scream echos out of the room. We all look at each other, and run towards her door.
Caitlin is standing at the end of Brooke's bed, looking terrified but furious at the same time. "Get out!" she hissed. Brooke is sitting straight up, her face as white a sheet, apart from the stitched gash on her forehead and her noise and jaw with their purple bruising. "GET OUT RIGHT NOW!" Caitlin yells. Her hands are shaking. I push past the security team and run to her, but she pushes me off. "They're terrifying her! You have to make them leave!" I hear a whimper from behind us, and I look around to see Brooke cowering away from us, covering her face. Niall is beside her in an instant, but she flinches away from him, obviously expecting someone to hit her. Paul is looking shocked, and Liam manages to pull him out of the room.
I pull Caitlin into my arms, she's crying silent tears. "What if that was someone coming to hurt her? I can't protect her from that!", she sobs into my chest. She suddenly gasps and turns around. "Brooke, breathe. Just breathe, they're gone." Brooke is taking short, jagged breaths that sound extremely dangerous. "Please, just breathe." But her breaths are starting to sound like she's not taking in any oxygen at all. Brooke clutches at her chest, desperation and fear evident in her gaze as she stares at me and Niall. Suddenly, I hear a small voice.
I figured it out
I figured it out from black and white
Seconds and hours
Maybe they had to take some time
Caitlin is singing. It's honestly the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. Brooke is still shuddering, but her breathing is beginning to slow down. Suddenly, another voice joins Caitlin's, and I look over to see Niall singing too.
I know how it goes
I know how it goes for wrong and right
Silence and sound
Did they ever hold each other tight
like us
Did they ever fight
like us
Brooke is less pale now, and her breathing is slowing. This is really working. I add my voice to the chorus.
You & I
We don't want to be like them
We can make it till the end
Nothing can come between
You & I
Not even the gods above
Could separate the two of us
No nothing can come between
You & I
Brooke let's out a small shaking sigh, and is immediately enveloped in a gentle hug from Caitlin. It is amazing to see their strong bond. They look more like sisters than best friends. Well, I guess they'd have to have a bond like that, with all that they go through.
Caitlin pulls back and smiles tearfully at me. Brooke, however, looks confused. "Why was Paul Higgins in my hospital room looking like he wanted to murder me?" Niall speaks up quickly. "He wanted to make us leave but we told him you were too important. He basically flipped his shit and was about to come in here and see why you were so important, but then he was faced with your guard dog of a best friend who basically saved you from the worst telling-off of your life." I notice how Niall refrains from telling her about our plan to call the police.
She hugs Cat again, and I notice Niall looking at her apologetically. I grab Cat's hand and pull her out of the room, gesturing with my head back at the two people looking at nothing but each other.
Niall's POV
I awkwardly move closer to her, and to my surprise, she grabs my hand and pulls me down so I'm sitting on the side of her bed. "Brooke, I'm so sor-" "Niall, don't worry about it, honestly! I'm fine, and I understand how it gets overwhelming. Trust me, running out is all I felt like doing." I understand how scared she must be, and I don't know how she's so forgiving. I literally abandoned her because I couldn't handle the guilt of not being able to prevent it. Coward. She pats the side of her bed, and I shuffle over so we're lying together, looking up at the white ceiling. We lie there in comfortable silence, until she speaks up. "It must be nice."
"What?" "It must be nice, travelling around the world with your four best friends." "Oh, right. Yeah, I love it. We get up to some stupid stuff though. Like, this afternoon, we were so bored but security wouldn't let us go out so we escaped in the back of the hotel's laundry truck. Louis thinks up a lot of the stupid stuff we do. There was this other time in Brazil that we..."
Notes
Hey Lovelies,
I am so sorry!! I know I haven't updated in like, forever, but I've just had so much to do lately! Dance show was a huge success, had to spend a few days in bed recovering from it though :/ I have several bruised toes from wearing pointe shoes for six hours but it was so much fun!
Anyways enough of my excuses, hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm trying to keep them quite long, so it is quite difficult to find time to write them! But I hope the length is good enough for everyone :D
Just to clear it up for everyone, The tour dates in this story are fictional! I've moved all their tour dates about four months earlier than they actually were, so they're in between Dubai and Wales in this story. But they're all fake, so hopefully you're not too confused! They're still doing the tour in the same order though!
Lots of love,
Half_a_heart x
Will you continue this story???
6/17/17