Clash

He just left me standing there like a complete moron and I had never felt so guilty about anything in my life. Why did he do that and why didn’t I stop him? “stupid” I told myself. How could I let that happen and why didn’t I stop it, how could I do that to Harry. I let myself fall in a chair near the window and closed my eyes, shutting it all out. The burning ache I felt in my chest for betraying Harry and the desire I felt towards Niall.

When I felt a tear crawl down over my face, I decided it was time to stop this pathetic behaviour. I didn’t want to cry any longer because it didn’t help me at all. I was here to put everything into perspective and not sitting in a room crying my eyes out over two boys even if one of those boys was the love of my life. I needed to get my head back in the game before I went back and had to kill of Bradley.

The rage I tucked away came rushing back. The way Bradley had treated Harry and me was out of this world and not the good kind and he needed to be punished but I could only do that if my head was there as well and these day’s my emotions were pushing me over the edge and it was becoming annoying.

I got up from my chair and walked over to the door and as I opened it, I checked if the hallway was empty and to my luck it was. I did wonder where Niall had gone off to but then again this gave me some freedom and I wasn’t going to waste it. I shut the door behind me and took of. I needed to get a clear head and the only way that was happening, was by going to the beach and do the thing I love the most and that was surfing.

I know it seems weird but that was the only thing that would help me today and as Niall was nowhere to be seen, I had finally the chance to do this. I walked to the rental store and rented wetsuit along with the board and just ran into the ocean. It was the right temperature and as it was windy the waves were good as well. It was like I had never stopped because the moment I took a wave it felt like I was doing this everyday and everything I had learned came back to me and the feeling of being free, took over.

I couldn’t help but scream in pure bliss, this was exactly what I needed and I didn’t care that the first few times I fell off my board. It was just so refreshing after losing so much of myself the past few months and in this moment I could forget everything and just be Anna Jude Lewis instead of property of Harry Styles.

After a while I felt I was getting tired so I began to peddle back and with every inch I came closer I felt the dark clouds gathering around me. As soon as my feet could touched the bottom, I knew it was time to get back to Niall and deal with some things and one of those things were the not kissing thing. I brought the stuff back to the rental shop and after I got dressed I turned back to the hotel. I opened the door and Niall immediately was in my face and damn he looked pissed off. “WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU ANNA!?” he yelled at me and I had to take a step back. “I…. I” I couldn’t even form a word, he was making me way to nervous because Harry would’ve beaten the crap out of me for pulling a stunt like this but Niall wasn’t like that right?

He must’ve seen the fear in my eyes because his expression changed into a more gentle one and I took a deep breath before trying to tell him where I was. “I..I was surfing.” I quickly told him and I took him by surprise with my answer.

“That was not what I expected.” He said a lot more calm then he was seconds ago. He took a few steps back, giving me my space. “Next time be sure to leave a note or something.” He told me and I just nodded as I made my way into the bathroom. I was surprised to find clothes that were obviously meant for me and this proved that Niall had a good taste as he had bought 2 shorts and a few crop tops and the underwear he had picked out looked a bit too sexy for my taste but then again it was my own fault for not bringing stuff with me.

The creepy thing was that he had guessed the exact bra size. I didn’t know how he found that one out and to be honest I didn’t really want to find out. I quickly turned on the shower and I was happy that this bathroom was really big and beautiful and clean. There was a bathtub but also a separate shower and not risking anything I choose the shower because I would probably fall asleep in the tub and I couldn’t have Niall walking in on me whilst I was naked. I jumped in the shower and enjoyed the stream of water that fell on my skin.

It worked away the stress that I was feeling from walking into the room, as I knew Niall would be pissed off with me for leaving like I did. I’m not sure how long I had been standing under the shower but when I heard a knock on the door I quickly shut of the water and wrapped a towel around my body and I was happy that I reacted this fast because sure enough Niall opened the door and walked in. He stopped when he saw me standing in front of him. He opened his mouth but shut it whilst checking me out. I felt his eyes burn on my skin and if I didn’t feel confused or guilty about Harry, I know what we would have done right now and with this knowledge I couldn’t help but feel a bit aroused under his heated stares.

“I’m sorry for barging in like this but I was beginning to worry.” He said after scraping his throat and with that he left. A giggle burst through and I scolded myself right away because this was not funny in any way but my brains didn’t listen and I let myself sit on the ground whilst laughing hysterically. Niall reappeared again after hearing me laugh like a crazy person and without thinking he sat down behind me and pulled me into him.

I had a strong grip on my towel making sure it didn’t fall from my body because that would be too much and at a certain point the laughter changed into crying. I heard Niall sigh deeply “Finally” I heard him say, as if he had been waiting for this and that made me cry even harder. “It’s going to be okay sweetheart, we will take care of you.” He tried to reassure him but that didn’t make me feel better because that meant I would never be free. I was going to be a prisoner for the rest of my life. It was like he understood what I wasn’t saying and I felt him cringe and his posture fell a bit. “I’m really sorry love.” He said gently. He wiped away my tears gently and I felt my heart beat picking up, when he touched me that way. I looked him straight in his eyes and that’s when he placed a soft kiss on my lips. “Are you okay again?” I didn’t even realize that I had stopped crying until he asked me that question and I wasn’t nearly okay but I could handle after this breakdown.

I nodded and he let go of me. I watched him walk out of the bathroom and I got up and dressed myself in shorts and a shirt that was his because I didn’t feel like putting on a crop top as that revealed way too much. I took a look into the mirror and hated the girl that was staring back at me and before I knew what I was doing I grabbed my brush and threw it at the mirror, which burst immediately when the brush hit it. I didn’t stop there, as I threw every single towel against the door and the bath supplies followed, I began to feel a bit better but also guilty for making such a mess. I didn’t notice that the door had opened again until Niall opened his mouth.

“Anna, what are you doing?”

Notes

A/N

She had a little breakdown, which had to happen eventually, don't you think? Let me know what you guys think.



- Update schedule: I'm going to post the first 10 chapters, within two days and after that I will probably update two or three times a week.

xx