Clash
Thirty Seven.
Anna
The moment I opened my eyes I knew Harry was gone. I took a deep breath and sat up in bed. I rubbed my eyes and just looked around my bedroom and I just didn’t feel anything. I just didn’t have the power to feel something right now, I just wanted it to be over. I didn’t want to be in this situation any longer but there was no way out.
I had to fall in love with a criminal, why couldn’t I just fall for someone more like me? I just shook my head and thought about everything since I moved to Oxford, it was like I didn’t know the person any longer who just moved here from America. It seemed a lifetime ago that we moved here and now that I finally had my freedom back, it got taken away from me again and everyone expected me to be fine with that but inside I was slowly dying.
I didn’t want to have to defend myself and to worry for someone else’s life but again thanks to Harry I didn’t have a choice and in the mean time he made me fall in love with him.
I had to get out but I wasn’t planning on getting dressed, as I wasn’t planning on going to college anyway. I did have to call them though, to tell them I wasn’t returning. I grabbed my phone and just got it over with. They were sorry for me and wished me luck in the future and the tendency to through my phone out of the window wasn’t far away but this was all I had left so it was best if I just put it away for now after I hung up.
I needed to pack up everything but first I needed a drink. I walked to the cabinet and grabbed a bottle of vodka and normally I wouldn’t drink this straight from the bottle but this time I really didn’t care and as I took my first sip, I actually felt better. After a few more sips I started to pull out the boxes I had in storage in one of the closets. I started with the living room and just shoved stuff in the boxes without caring if I broke it. “Music, that’s what I need.” I said out loud whilst walking to the docking station and not long after I was dancing to the Beatles.
I took another sip from the bottle and continued the clean up and within an hour I think I had almost the living room packed up, except for the couch and table. I turned the volume up when I got to the bedroom and took another sip, this was just amazing how the booze made me feel and I couldn’t stop drinking in and after a while I just kept dancing and I wasn’t even bothering packing stuff as I found dancing even better.
I know I was trashing the place but who cares right? The bottle was empty at some point but I just got another one. There was nobody here that I had to entertain so I just saw my life go to hell so why would I care what alcohol could do to you. I had fun on my own and if stuff would break, well that was not my problem.
I was still dancing but now I was dancing to AC/DC and I was even singing along, whilst playing air guitar, when Harry walked in. “Haaaarryyy. Wait, why are there more of you.” I heard myself slur but I didn’t stop dancing, at this point I was dancing on the table and everything was going in slow motion, which was fudging awesome.
“Anna what have you been drinking?” was the first thing that came out of his mouth after at least several minutes, at least I think it were minutes.
I showed him the two bottles of vodka that now were empty lying on the floor. He grabbed it from the floor and that’s when he grabbed me and he actually made me look at him. “Fuck Anna.” He mumbled but I didn’t know what he was talking about so I pulled myself away from him and kicked against a vase on the table, that had surprised my earlier cleaning the house rave.
Harry was talking to someone on the phone and I know it was something important but I didn’t understand a word of what he was saying and in the mean time the music changed to Journey and I still wasn’t feeling tired, I only got more energy which resulted in me completely trashing the living room, I wasn’t aware of my surroundings anymore and everything that was in my way I just got rid of it. I kept dancing and it was the best feeling ever in the world, I never wanted it to stop and it didn’t.
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“Anna love can you hear me?” Someone was screaming in my ear but something in me didn’t want to respond and it also felt that when I opened my eyes my head would explode.
“How long has she been like this Harry?” I heard someone else scream and it didn’t make any sense, why would someone be screaming to Harry. “She collapsed about an hour ago.” I heard him say but he didn’t sound right, he sounded like he had been going through hell.
It made me want to open my eyes but whatever I tried to open them, it just didn’t work. It was like they were glued shut, I didn’t like this worried Harry and to think that I was the reason for his worries. The only thing I did was drink two medium size bottles of vodka, so the only thing that could happen is me having a huge hangover. This just didn’t make any sense
“What did you put in those bottles?” I started to recognize the voice and that made me even more anxious because the voice belonged to Niall and the fact that he also sounded worried, didn’t make me feel better. “I put coke in the bottles, you know for that upcoming party.” I heard Harry tell Niall and that’s when everything clicked, I OD’d and that’s why I was lying here on the floor, going through hell. It also explained why I couldn’t open my eyes, my body was still in shock from the cocaine, what was Harry thinking?
“Do you think I need to bring her to the hospital?” I heard the doubt in his voice and I understood why that was because if they found out I OD’d., well let’s just leave it at that.
“No I don’t think that’s necessary, I mean you made her throw up, so there couldn’t possibly be something left in her stomach.” I heard Niall say and I was happy that Harry remembered what to do in cases like this. “Why doesn’t she open her eyes than?” he sounded so distressed that I could almost feel the pity Niall was feeling for him.
“Maybe she just isn’t ready yet. I mean you told me what happened, so maybe she’s just a bit broken and she need time to protect herself again.” Niall was sounding logical.
“Thank you so much for helping me Niall and I’m sorry you know.” This was something I thought I’d never hear from Harry’s mouth. “I know, just take care of her and try to stop hurting her, please because to be honest I’m not sure how much she can take after this.” It broke my heart, that Niall knew me so well because I did drink so much to just drown myself into oblivion.
“I can’t promise that but I will try, god knows I will fucking try.” Harry said passionate and I believed him even if this was messed up. He did love me in his own way. I heard footsteps and a door slam shut, which probably meant that Niall had left, which left only Harry and me in my house. I felt Harry’s hand under me and he lifted me up and carried me to the bed, at least it felt like my bed.
“I’m so sorry Anna.”
The moment I opened my eyes I knew Harry was gone. I took a deep breath and sat up in bed. I rubbed my eyes and just looked around my bedroom and I just didn’t feel anything. I just didn’t have the power to feel something right now, I just wanted it to be over. I didn’t want to be in this situation any longer but there was no way out.
I had to fall in love with a criminal, why couldn’t I just fall for someone more like me? I just shook my head and thought about everything since I moved to Oxford, it was like I didn’t know the person any longer who just moved here from America. It seemed a lifetime ago that we moved here and now that I finally had my freedom back, it got taken away from me again and everyone expected me to be fine with that but inside I was slowly dying.
I didn’t want to have to defend myself and to worry for someone else’s life but again thanks to Harry I didn’t have a choice and in the mean time he made me fall in love with him.
I had to get out but I wasn’t planning on getting dressed, as I wasn’t planning on going to college anyway. I did have to call them though, to tell them I wasn’t returning. I grabbed my phone and just got it over with. They were sorry for me and wished me luck in the future and the tendency to through my phone out of the window wasn’t far away but this was all I had left so it was best if I just put it away for now after I hung up.
I needed to pack up everything but first I needed a drink. I walked to the cabinet and grabbed a bottle of vodka and normally I wouldn’t drink this straight from the bottle but this time I really didn’t care and as I took my first sip, I actually felt better. After a few more sips I started to pull out the boxes I had in storage in one of the closets. I started with the living room and just shoved stuff in the boxes without caring if I broke it. “Music, that’s what I need.” I said out loud whilst walking to the docking station and not long after I was dancing to the Beatles.
I took another sip from the bottle and continued the clean up and within an hour I think I had almost the living room packed up, except for the couch and table. I turned the volume up when I got to the bedroom and took another sip, this was just amazing how the booze made me feel and I couldn’t stop drinking in and after a while I just kept dancing and I wasn’t even bothering packing stuff as I found dancing even better.
I know I was trashing the place but who cares right? The bottle was empty at some point but I just got another one. There was nobody here that I had to entertain so I just saw my life go to hell so why would I care what alcohol could do to you. I had fun on my own and if stuff would break, well that was not my problem.
I was still dancing but now I was dancing to AC/DC and I was even singing along, whilst playing air guitar, when Harry walked in. “Haaaarryyy. Wait, why are there more of you.” I heard myself slur but I didn’t stop dancing, at this point I was dancing on the table and everything was going in slow motion, which was fudging awesome.
“Anna what have you been drinking?” was the first thing that came out of his mouth after at least several minutes, at least I think it were minutes.
I showed him the two bottles of vodka that now were empty lying on the floor. He grabbed it from the floor and that’s when he grabbed me and he actually made me look at him. “Fuck Anna.” He mumbled but I didn’t know what he was talking about so I pulled myself away from him and kicked against a vase on the table, that had surprised my earlier cleaning the house rave.
Harry was talking to someone on the phone and I know it was something important but I didn’t understand a word of what he was saying and in the mean time the music changed to Journey and I still wasn’t feeling tired, I only got more energy which resulted in me completely trashing the living room, I wasn’t aware of my surroundings anymore and everything that was in my way I just got rid of it. I kept dancing and it was the best feeling ever in the world, I never wanted it to stop and it didn’t.
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“Anna love can you hear me?” Someone was screaming in my ear but something in me didn’t want to respond and it also felt that when I opened my eyes my head would explode.
“How long has she been like this Harry?” I heard someone else scream and it didn’t make any sense, why would someone be screaming to Harry. “She collapsed about an hour ago.” I heard him say but he didn’t sound right, he sounded like he had been going through hell.
It made me want to open my eyes but whatever I tried to open them, it just didn’t work. It was like they were glued shut, I didn’t like this worried Harry and to think that I was the reason for his worries. The only thing I did was drink two medium size bottles of vodka, so the only thing that could happen is me having a huge hangover. This just didn’t make any sense
“What did you put in those bottles?” I started to recognize the voice and that made me even more anxious because the voice belonged to Niall and the fact that he also sounded worried, didn’t make me feel better. “I put coke in the bottles, you know for that upcoming party.” I heard Harry tell Niall and that’s when everything clicked, I OD’d and that’s why I was lying here on the floor, going through hell. It also explained why I couldn’t open my eyes, my body was still in shock from the cocaine, what was Harry thinking?
“Do you think I need to bring her to the hospital?” I heard the doubt in his voice and I understood why that was because if they found out I OD’d., well let’s just leave it at that.
“No I don’t think that’s necessary, I mean you made her throw up, so there couldn’t possibly be something left in her stomach.” I heard Niall say and I was happy that Harry remembered what to do in cases like this. “Why doesn’t she open her eyes than?” he sounded so distressed that I could almost feel the pity Niall was feeling for him.
“Maybe she just isn’t ready yet. I mean you told me what happened, so maybe she’s just a bit broken and she need time to protect herself again.” Niall was sounding logical.
“Thank you so much for helping me Niall and I’m sorry you know.” This was something I thought I’d never hear from Harry’s mouth. “I know, just take care of her and try to stop hurting her, please because to be honest I’m not sure how much she can take after this.” It broke my heart, that Niall knew me so well because I did drink so much to just drown myself into oblivion.
“I can’t promise that but I will try, god knows I will fucking try.” Harry said passionate and I believed him even if this was messed up. He did love me in his own way. I heard footsteps and a door slam shut, which probably meant that Niall had left, which left only Harry and me in my house. I felt Harry’s hand under me and he lifted me up and carried me to the bed, at least it felt like my bed.
“I’m so sorry Anna.”
@harrysbutthole
Me too!!
6/19/16