Clash

When he arrived home, I couldn’t be happier. I threw my shoes off and pulled on my comfy slippers. Harry let himself in, like had had been doing the last couple of said. I was getting used to it by now, this time though he wasn’t his laid back self, he was actually angry and that was radiating from him. I walked into the living room and sat down, just to think about what had happened and where it went wrong.

I know it was my own fault for thinking Bradley was stupid enough to not recognize me but of course he did. This meant I wasn’t really safe but I wasn’t giving up that easily, I wasn’t planning on giving up anything, just because he recognized me. I just had to carry my gun everywhere I went, there were no exceptions anymore, not even at college. “How could you be so stupid?” Harry asked out of nowhere, it even startled me a bit. “I don’t know.” I mumbled back. I was not in the mood to discuss the position I had put myself in.

“What I was wondering is, why you didn’t have anyone to back you up? What happened to my gang Anna?” He fired the questions at me. He pulled me up from the sofa and cornered me. He was right in my face right now and normally I would have flinched but I looked him right in the eyes and I wasn’t surprised to see the anger shining bright in his eyes. “I dismissed them for now.” I said through clenched teeth. I was already debating on kneeing him in the groin or just get this over with. “You did WHAT?!” he tried to compose himself but I saw the struggle he was having with himself.

“I. Dismissed. Them. Harry.” I said slowly, kowing this wasn’t a smart move but I couldn’t help myself. “Why?” he hissed and that’s when I started to laugh, I couldn’t help it. It must have been the nerves but I just laughed right into his face, which shocked him and angered him because next thing I know he grabs me by my throat, making me stop laughing. “WHY ANNA?” he was really close and the anger that was radiating from his body, was scary but for some reason I wasn’t that afraid.

I couldn’t breath and I couldn’t talk so there was only one way to make him let go off me and that’s when I kneed him. He fell to the ground on his knees and I could step around him, making sure there was space between us. “Because of you Harry.” I said whilst sitting down on the arm of the couch. He was sitting on the floor, watching me and I could tell he didn’t understand what I was saying. “When we discovered that you betrayed us, I made the decision to dismantle the gang for a while so they could live their lives.” I shrugged but I wasn’t looking at him by now because he didn’t have to see the hurt in my eyes.

“So just because I was with Bradley, you decided it was for the best to just give up?” I know what he meant by this, he thought I had given up on him and in some ways I had but that’s what you get when you get shot by the person you love. “Yeah well getting shot by you does make me do things like that.” I turned my face towards him and locked eyes. His expression changed in one of guilt. “I hit you?” he asked hesitantly. I pulled one of my sleeved down, to show him the scar it left.

“You did, so yes I gave up on you.” I got up and walked to my kitchen to get some water, when I felt his hand on my shoulder. “Let me see please?” he asked careful not to overstep his boundaries, which was odd for him as he never cared about my boundaries. I let him exanimate the scar and I saw the sadness cross over his face. “I’m sorry.” I shrugged because what else could I say, it was done. He couldn’t take it back and I actually thought that it was some sort of weird karma for sleeping with Niall. “What’s done, is done right?” I pulled my arm out of his hands and grabbed my water. “For how long are you going to stay?” I asked him, whilst walking back into the living room. He followed me back and sat down on the couch and he actually looked a bit lost.

“I’m not sure to be honest, as I don’t have anywhere to live at the moment and I also don’t have any money.” This made me confused because he had a lot of money, he just signed it over to me, when we all thought he was dead but now that he was alive, he could have it back. “You have plenty of money, I mean you didn’t think I spend it al, did you?” I asked him and that made him look up and I never thought I would feel offended. “God Harry, what do you take me for, wait a sec.” I walked into my bedroom and opened the safe, which contained all the documents, that appointed me to Harry’s money. Yes I spend a bit but not nearly enough to make him go bankrupt.

I stretched out my hand to reach him the documents and he was looking at it, as if he was afraid to take it. “God just take it already, this is your money and I kept it safe. I didn’t spend a lot of it.” He took it and scanned over the papers but he never smiled at me, he just kept a serious expression and when he looked up, I took a step back because I had seen a look like this before and the last time I saw it, it almost got me killed.

“Did you really go to America?” he asked calm and that made me hesitate to give him an answer. “I uhm did, yes.” I mumbled feeling like I was caught with my hand down the cookie jar. He nodded as if he had expected this of me “Why did you come back?” Now that was a good question because at first I didn’t want to come back but then Niall ambushed me and Liam or was it Louis made us come back. “We were needed here.” I shrugged, did made him raise his eye brows and that’s when I saw my mistake, I said we. “Who was with you Anna?” He was really silent now and I know this was going to turn ugly as they hated each other, I mean just look at how Niall looked when I visited him in the hospital.

“Niall joined me.” I told him timidly feeling the tension build. I could tell he was debating whether he should hit me or just yell at me. “What exactly happen between you two?”
I wasn’t really sure why he asked me this because I already told him what happened so why did he want to hear it again. “You know what happened.” I was looking out of the window and felt him stand behind me. “I know but it just doesn’t seem real to me.” He really sounded lost and that broke my heart but then again it also surprised me because why didn’t it seem real to him? He knew Niall had feelings for me and I had also feelings towards him, so it wasn’t that weird.

“How can you say that, you know he had feelings towards me and I had feelings towards him. You where dead in our heads and this was my way to deal with it I guess and I’m not saying it’s a good way to deal with grief especially not with the best friend off but it just happened and no I’m not proud of it but I’m also not ashamed and Harry, it’s not like I can take it back can I now?” I felt a tear running over my cheek, which I wiped a way impatiently. It was such a stupid thing to cry over and there was no way I was going to cry in front of him.
“You know I told you I didn’t have a choice right?” I nodded because that was something I did remember quite well. “I remember, what did you mean by that?” I asked him curiously. He sighed as he put his hands on my arms, it made my hard stutter for a second but he wasn’t going to distract me this time. “It was you or me.” He dropped this on me and I was shocked to hear this as I did escape. “You didn’t think that it was a coincidence that you got out right?” he shook his head when I just stared blankly outside because that was exactly what I was thinking and that it had to be my lucky moment.

“He let you go because I agreed to join him and when that happened, they immediately continued to torture me until I couldn’t think clearly anymore and they drugged me up, that’s why I shot you, I didn’t recognise you otherwise I would never have shot you.” He mumbled and I felt the guilt run through my body, I just left him there and gave up on him, while he needed us the most. “I’m so sorry Harry.” I stared at my feet and stepped out of hands, which he let fall next to his body. I couldn’t look at him anymore so I walked past him and grabbed a blanket and pillow, which I threw on the couch and without looking I went to bed. I felt utterly disgusted with myself for doing this to Harry. There was just nothing I could say to make it any better and as I stared outside from my bed, I felt the tears fall over my face, it wasn’t just one tear anymore but more were following and before I could stop it, I was already sobbing into my pillow in the hope Harry wouldn’t hear but of course he did.

I felt the bed dip and Harry pulled me into his arms and cradled me. “It’s okay Anna, you couldn’t have known this.” I shook my head and started to cry even harder, my chest was heaving and Harry just held me, rubbing my back and saying soothing things. I wasn’t sure how long we sat like this but I must’ve fallen asleep at a certain point because when I opened my eyes we were still in the same position and Harry was fast asleep. His shirt was still damp from my crying, it was like I cried for everything that had happened the past few weeks. I was confused and didn’t know what to do with Harry because I love him so much but it also isn’t fair towards Niall, as I told him I didn’t want to date anyone for a while but to be honest, I did want to date and I wanted Harry back but there was no way this was going to happen. I mean I slept with his best friend and there was just no way he was going to forgive me for that.

I watched him sleep because there was nothing more peaceful than to watch Harry sleep, as it made him relaxed and look much younger. I caressed his cheek and noticed the stubble, which I hadn’t felt before yet and it was a welcome feeling. I traced his lips carefully and when I was satisfied I untangled myself from his embrace and when I stood next to my bed he sighed and moved so he was hugging my pillow. I was till in the same clothes as I didn’t get the chance to change into something comfortable.

I grabbed some sweats and a regular shirt and walked towards the bathroom, I quickly took a shower, too wash all the products from my face. I felt better after I showered, I left my hair fall down my back and made some tea, as I really needed something soothing like that. I didn’t want to wake up Harry, as he didn’t get a lot of sleep, at least that’s what it looked like, so it was for the best that he was sleeping and I had homework to do anyway. I finished a paper on the history of “Mary queen of scots” when I heard Harry mumble from my bed. It sounded like he was having a nightmare, he was trashing around in my bed. I got up from the couch and walked over and saw that he was sweating. I had to wake him up but I know this wasn’t the safest thing to do but I had to try.

“Harry?” I shook him gently but he just smacked me in the face, which hurt but I pulled back far enough for it not to leave a bruise. “Harry, wake up!” I shook him again and he again tried to hit me, whilst yelling that I had to leave him alone. My heart ached for him and I tried again. “Harry, please wake up.” I pushed his hair away from his face, risking my life in the process but it did calm him down a bit. “Anna?” I heard him mumble and the lump in my throat only grew and it took everything in me not to cry. “I’m here Harry.” I caressed his cheek and he opened his eyes, he looked exhausted. “God you’re here.” He pulled me on top of him and I let him, as he needed the comfort. He put his face in my hair and even kissed the top of my head. I just held him, as he was catching his breath and came back to the waking world.

Notes