Icing on the Cake

~201~

The monster of grief consumed my soul to a point where my physicality was impacted. I sat with my head in my knees in the corner of our steam shower.

Sweat beads perspired out of me as the hot steam made my chest feel like a furnace. The discomfort of the wet, scorching heat was becoming increasingly unbearable. I didn’t move to turn down the steam because the monster of grief consumed my soul to a point where my physicality was impacted.

It didn’t matter, though. The physical discomfort I was feeling was in no way comparable to the emotional damnation I was experiencing.

Calum opened up the door to the steam shower, causing a rush of freezing cold air stick thousands of needles into my skin. I weakly lift my head up to look at him.

Agony is the only way to describe what Calum was feeling. I could tell that he wanted nothing more than to break down the way that I was, but felt like he had to remain strong, because one of us needed to be strong. That selfishness on my part brought on emotional guilt that was now just another layer of my mental hell.

“We meet with the funeral director Thursday.” Calum said. “I just made the call.”

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t do anything but keep staring straight into my knees.

“Do you think Anastasia completely understands what’s going on?” Calum asked. “I don’t think Julia has told her.”

Again, I just stared straight into my knees.

Finally, Calum let tears fall down from his eyes. “Please don’t shut me out now, Luke, not now. I can’t loose you too. I know this is awful, but… Everything will be okay.”

After that statement, I looked up at Calum. “You know, this is the first time I don’t believe you.”

Notes

Noooooo :'(