---

I wake up the next morning feeling lost, I am used to going to check on Harry first thing in the morning. I feel movement beside me so I roll over to see Niall sitting up on the edge of the bed.

“Ni, babe why are you awake so early?” I ask

“Oh sorry love, I’m just worried about Harry.” He says

“Oh.. really, you’re worried about Harry?” I ask shocked

“Yeah, I mean he is my bandmate and friend. He is also Liv and Olli’s dad too. although I don’t like the things he has done to you I still worry about him” Niall says

Niall and I get into a deep conversation about Harry and the kids, when a loud knock comes from the door. I crawl out of bed and pad over to open the door. There stands Liam, Zayn, Louis, Taylor and the kids.

“What is going on here you guys?” I ask

“We were thinking” Zayn starts

“Say no more, come in.” I say knowing where this is going.

Everyone comes in and piles into the bedroom. We all talk and come to a conclusion that the boys will be leaving the tour early to be with Harry. Modest of course will not be happy but hopefully Simon and the fans will understand. The boys wait until their sound check at noon to tell the rest of the staff what their plans are. Simon thankfully understand completely, Modest on the other hand does not. It doesn’t matter though, there is no stopping these guys once they have their minds set on something.

---

Rome, Italy 8:00 pm 9/15:

The boys come out singing Clouds. Once the song is over they immediately answer the question on everyone’s mind, and that is where is Harry? When the boys explain that Harry had to go back to London for medical reasons there was a huge amount of people groaning “NO” and a good amount of others who just start to cry.

Once everything is under control the boys start the show. They do an excellent job, being goofy and reading signs like nothing has changed.

“Mommy? Are we going home?” Olivia asks me

“Yes baby we are leaving after the show tonight”

“Mommy? Is daddy dying?” she asks seriously

I don’t know how to answer her. She knows something is up. it’s actually really hard to say what is going to happen to Harry.

“Daddy is very sick baby, we are going home to be with him, but if we pray I’m sure god will do great things.” I tell her

The kids play and sing along to the songs as the boys perform. The show ends at 11:4 pm. Once the song and fireworks are done they take a moment to explain to their fans what is going to happen.

“Hey guys before you leave tonight could we just get a moment please?” Zayn asks

The stadium goes silent as the lights turn back on.

“Ok, so as you know Harry isn’t here with us tonight due to his illness, actually he won’t be joining us at all from now on. The thing is, he is really sick and need all of our support. So we as a band and as friends have decided to stop the rest of the tour and return home to be with Harry. The tour just doesn’t feel right without him here. We feel we need to be there with him to show our love and support for him. We understand that some of you will be upset and angry at us and we sincerely apologize, but we need to be with our mate right now. We hope you lot understand, you guys are the best fans ever and don’t you forget that” Liam explains to the crowd.

“We love you guys, be safe getting home” Louis adds in

The boys leave the stage and go to their dressing rooms. They all gather their belongings and go climb into the bus. All of our other stuff is already loaded and ready to go. It will be a 14-hour drive until we reach Normandy. From there we will get on a ferry for 5 hours until we reach London.

---

8:00 pm 9/16:

We finally reach London, there is a van waiting for us so we climb in and go straight to Niall’s house. When we arrive I’m happy to see Sophia and Anne are there. The boys bring in all of our bags while the kids go up to join the triplets and Haylie in Harry’s room to sleep. We take our bags to our rooms then go back downstairs to visit with Soph and Anne. Liam decides he is going to stay home and rest tonight. Anne is staying home as well and said she will keep an eye on the kids while the rest of us go to see Harry.

---

“Hi we’re here to see Harry Styles” Niall says to the receptionist

“Ok Mr. Styles is on the Oncology floor, room 4320” the lady says

“Ok, thank you, but how do we get there may I ask?” Louis says

“Oh yes, so you will take a left at these doors and go all the way down the hall until you reach the elevators. Take those elevators to level 4, once you get off turn to the right and Mr. Styles room will be the fifth door on the right side.” She explains.

We follow her directions and end up at Harry’s door. We sit and visit with him for a while, he seems a little out of it but then again he is on an ass load of medication. A nurse knocks on the door and comes in. She hooks up Harry’s chemo bag to his IV and gives him some pain meds as well as penicillin.

“What’s the antibiotic’s for?” I ask

“Mr. Styles here has pneumonia in both lungs” she says

The nurse turns Harry to his left side and uses her balled up fist to beat up and down his back, she then rolls him to his right side and does the same thing. Harry starts coughing which is good I guess because it helps to break up the crap in his lungs.

“Well guys should we go? Haz is falling asleep and its nearly midnight” Zayn says

“Yeah I’m pretty beat” Niall says

Everyone hugs Harry and kisses his forehead on the way out.

“Give me a moment please?’ I say

“Yeah, you alright?” Ni asks

“Yeah, I’m alright, I’ll be right out”

“Cassie you should go, you look exhausted” Harry whispers

“It’s alright Harry, I just want to make sure you’re alright”

“Cassie, love, I’m golden” he says

I giggle a little then grab his hand. I trace the lines on his palm as warm tears run down my cheeks.

“Cassie, I’m ok… I’ll get through this just like the last time” he smiles

I smile back at him as I lean over to kiss his cold cheek. We stare into each other’s eyes for a moment before Harry kisses me fully on the mouth with more passion than he ever had. I don’t push him away, which I should but I feel like this is the last time I’m every going to have this kind of contact with Harry. I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it. It will be our little secret.

I can tell Harry is very tired because he keeps blinking his eyes trying to stay awake. I kiss him one last time on the forehead and squeeze his hand before leaving his room.

“Be brave Harry…. Be brave” I say

Notes

i actually teared up writing this... sad sad sad... ugh tell me what you think XOXO

ps the picture of Harry is from OTRA Kansas City 7/28/15 at Arrowhead Stadium <3