Way to soon I had to start working and before I knew it the boys were leaving. It sucked really, but at the same time I really was glad to spend some time alone. The day of my first day on my new job had passed, everything had gone excellent and I would start teaching next week. Well, if you don’t think about the fact that it seemed like the principal hates me, but I can deal with that. The boys were leaving tomorrow and the last few days with them have been crazy. All of the boys had asked me to help them pack, which I didn’t understand because I suck at packing. Either way I helped them the best I could and that went alright, I think.

Tonight the boys were having a goodbye party at a club and they had invited all of their family and friends. Niall had even flown his family here about three days ago so that they could hang out before he went away for months. I found that really cute. And because they all came here I got to meet them, they were the sweetest people I have ever met. And when I told them I couldn’t be seen with the boys they didn’t question me, they just told me they were going to help get to the party. I told them I really shouldn’t go but the insisted that I should. I just hoped I could stay away from the papz, as the boys called them.

Right now I was getting ready for that very party and Zayn had sent Perrie over, they have now been together for six years. The two were still very much in love, just from meeting them together the last week I thought they were just starting to fall in love. It was amazing how something can last that long. Anyway, Perrie was helping me get ready and I was turning out to be rather difficult to handle. She kept sighing at me and looked at me with this adoring look that made me go crazy. I had several dresses to pick between, I loved buying them but I didn’t actually wear them. We had now narrowed it down to two dresses, one black and white with dots on it. The top was tight and the skirt went out into a tutu looking thing. The other one was a yellow cocktail dress, same design as the other dress but a tad bit shorter. I had been trying the dresses on over and over again but just couldn’t make up my mind which I should take.

“Which one do you think Perrie?” I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. I didn’t like wearing strapless dresses, which both of these were, because I had not only back fat but fat all around. It made me very self-conscious.

“Hm… I don’t know. I think they both are adorable!” She smiled big at me and jumped up from her place on the bed.

“Well, I need to choose one soon, you have to leave soon.” I looked down at my feet and sighed. I wanted her to stay with me, she was kind of a safe haven for me, but she had to go get ready with her band Little Mix. Even though this was an informal event their publisher thought it was best if they arrived at the same time together.

“It’s a really hard choice. I mean look at the pictures here.” She showed me her phone where she had photos of me in both of the dresses. I scrolled between the two of them but could still not make up my mind. I sat down on the bed and sighed. As I put my head in my hands I started to mumble.

“I should just stay home. I mean, why do I bother? People go to these things to be noticed and I have to hide. I can’t be in any pictures and still I am thinking this hard on going. I am impossible. Is it for a boy? Maybe…” I sighed again and shook my head. “No this is for me. Bloody hell this is hard.” As I looked up I realized that Perrie wasn’t there anymore. At first I was a little offended but then I decided I was lucky, if she had heard me right then she would have thought I was crazy. I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror one more time. The dress I was currently wearing was the black and white one. As I stepped out into the living room, looking for Perrie, I notice she is standing next to Zayn with her phone up. I hid behind the corner so that I could hear what they were saying to each other.

“She doesn’t know which one to go with.” Perrie smiled up at Zayn and he pecked her lips lightly. “Could you help me?” He looked really uncomfortable and I think she batted the eyelashes as he sighed.

“Yeah, sure I can.” He looked down at the phone and his eyes widened. “Is that really her?” Perrie laughed and nodded.

“She looks beautiful right?” She smiled down at the phone. Zayn placed his hand around her waist as he shook his head.

“Well yeah. I mean she always looks cute and stuff but in those dresses she looks…” He was looking for a word and Perrie filled him in.

“Hot?” She smiled at him and leaned back a little to look at him.

“Yes that was what I was going to say. But you know I find you as hot as the sun, baby!” She laughed at his words and shoved him lightly.

“Anyways, which one do you think Louis will like the most?” I almost gasped at her words but put my hand over my mouth to silence it. Zayn scratched his chin and looked carefully at the phone. It seemed like forever until he spoke.

“I think the black and white one. But with some colour, maybe a belt or something.” He looked down at her and shrugged. She smiled up at him and kissed him on the lips. I smiled at the sweet smile and sooner than I thought she was walking towards me. I quickly recovered and walked so that it looked like I was coming out of the bathroom. She smiled sweetly to me and pushed me into me bedroom.

“Wow, be gently! I am an old lady!” I laughed as she just smiled at me.

“I asked Zayn what he thought and I agree with him. You should wear that one.” She pointed to the one I was currently wearing and I just nodded. Feeling my fighting spirit disappearing. I was beginning to get tired and it wasn’t even five in the afternoon yet.

“Okay, well then I am ready to party!” I fist pumped the air and Perrie just laughed at me.

“Well, we also agreed on that you need some colour.” She smiled at me and then her eyes began to search the room. “To you have any belt, necklaces or other accessories that are colourful?” She smiled as she pushed my clothes from my dresser. I sighed as I thought about the fact that I had to clean up this mess tomorrow.

“Yeah, on top of that dresser and in my closet. I have some handbags that are very colourful.” I smiled and went in to grab them. When I walked out I gave her a curious look. “Why colourful? I should stay as plain as I can.” I gave her a pointed stare and she shrugged. I could tell she was trying really hard to hide the secret.

“No reason. We just thought it would fulfil the outfit.” She smiled as she strapped a red belt around my waist. She stood back to take a look at me before nodding and giving me the thumbs up. “You are done!” She turned around and looked at her phone to check the time. “Okay, Niall’s mom and Harry’s sister will be here in like ten minutes. They will help you with you make up.” I sighed and shook my head.

“I can do that myself…” I gave her a sideways glance as I combed my hair.

“Yes I do know that but we want to spoil you! You are our little Swedish girl!” She giggled as she walked out of my room. I tried to throw a pillow at her but failed. I followed her out into the living room and to where Zayn was.

“Well I’ll see you both at the party then?” I smiled at them as they looked at me.

“Actually I am staying here with you until Harry comes.” He smiled at me and I smiled back.

“Lovely! I thought I was going to be alone with all of those women molesting my face!” I said sarcastically and they laughed at me. Perrie walked forward to grad me into a hug.

“They will probably want to do something with you hair too, so be prepared.” She winked at me before walking over to Zayn to say good bye to him. As the started hugging and kissing I decided I needed something from the kitchen. What I wanted I did not know. I opened the fridge to see what was inside and decided on a coke. When I had just grabbed one Zayn walked into the kitchen.

“Could I get one?” I nodded and handed the one I was holding in my hand to him. I grabbed another one and we sat down at the table. He smiled at me and I felt really awkward. He and I hadn’t been alone before and I didn’t know what to say. I looked down at my can and sighed.

“Well this is weird.” I looked up smiling at him and he laughed.

“Yeah it is.” He opened his can and I did the same. “So…” He began. “Are you excited for tonight?” I looked at his eyes to tell if he meant anything by asking that but I just found a lot of curiosity there. I scratched the back of my neck before answering him.

“Yes and no.” I shrugged and continued. “I am really gonna miss you guys, so that’s sad. But at the same time I’m glad I get to live alone for awhile. And then there is the fact that my picture cannot come out and it is a huge risk for that tonight.” I shrugged once more and sighed. “But I think the party is going to be awesome.” I smiled at him and he returned it.

“Yeah it’s going to be epic.” I laughed at his choice of words and drank from my coke. “But I think it’s gonna be sad, as well. We will miss everyone so much.” He looked down at his can and took a deep breath. “I would like to show you something.” He looked up at me with hesitant eyes.

“Okay, what do you want to show me?” I smiled and actually feared the worst. I feared he was going to pull his pants down and show me everything, dirty mind I know… He reached his hand into his jacket pocket and brought out a small box. I smiled almost knowing what it was.

“Zayn…” I looked at his face with a big smile on mine. He was blushing hard and I almost ‘naaw’d at him. “Are you gonna ask Perrie tonight?” He nodded and opened the box.

“I wanted to know what you thought? I know we haven’t known each other that long but I count you as a close friend. So does Perrie.” I almost started to cry at his words and placed my hand over my heart.

“I feel the same to you guys! And she is going to love it!” I stood up to go hug him. When I embraced him the front door opened and we quickly looked at the person at the door, hoping it wouldn’t be Perrie. Unfortunately it was Louis and he was looking pissed. I didn’t understand why he always seemed so mad.

“What’s going on here?” He pointed to the two of us and then to the ring Zayn was holding in his hand.

“Oh nothing mate!”

“Yeah right.” His eyes narrowed at us and I felt anger rise up in my chest. I pointed at him and practically screamed at him.

“Stop being such a douche! Your friend is about to ask the girl he loves, which for your information isn’t me, to marry him. And all you can think with is your bloody dick of a brain!” I stormed into my bedroom and decided to wait for the girls there. I sank down on the bed sighing at my own stupid behaviour.

I didn’t know why I was being such a stupid girl but my emotions got the best of me. I was angry at him all the time and I didn’t want to be. I didn’t have any reason to be either. Yes you have Johanna. I sighed as the words of my mother came up in my head. You are afraid that if he leaves, he is going to forget you. You don’t want him to leave, Johanna. I sighed and shook my head. I didn’t want to admit it but she was right. I didn’t want him to leave but there was nothing to do about it.