“Alright, we have one extra-large meat lovers pizza, extra cheese. Anything else I can get for you guys?” Madi, the boys’ usual waitress asked them as she placed the pizza on the table. They all shook their heads and politely sent Madi on her way. Madi had never been a problem to the boys even with her slight obsession with the boys, and the boys were appreciative for that.

“To the New Year!” Louis proposed as the boys clink their slices like wine glasses. The strange act set the boys in laughter with their mouths full. Though it disgusted some of the new faces to them, the old familiar faces simply smiled at the boys, happy for the fact that they ever returned.

“Who’s ready for some karaoke!” the DJ, new to the boys, shouted into the mike. The small, but anxious crowd cheered.

“Who’s that?” Liam pondered over the strange new DJ. Her long hair and tone of voice made it clear that she was a girl, but the plain, black mask on her face hid her features from sight.

“That’s our new DJ. She goes by The Raccoon.” Sophia, a lost but known face stepped into the table’s view.

“Sophia! It’s great to see such a familiar face here,” Niall, who was at the end of the table stood to greet her. The other boys simply waved their hellos to her. Sophia had been attending karaoke night ever since the boys could remember. Though she hates to sing in front of people, it never stopped her from getting up to sing a duet if someone asked. She may deny it, but her voice is incredible.

“Hey boys! Glad you’ve come around again. It hasn’t been the same since you stopped coming. Any of you singing tonight?” she asked, the same old smile using up most of her face.

“Pretty sure all of us are going to. Harry though… not so much,” Zayn offered her.

“Awesome! I can’t wait to hear you guys again, live of course, but it’s a shame that you’re not singing Harry. Well, I better go take my seat, but it was nice conversing with you all again.”

“Bye Soph!” The girl walked off happily back to her booth, shared with friends. The boys continued to crack jokes and chomp on their pizza. Harry sat quietly eating his half touched pizza slowly, zoning out from the conversation floating around him.

The feeling that this place set off still trying to make its way clearly into his emotions. Certainly it wasn’t normal to let a pizza bar get to you, but this old tradition these boys held could. The start of this tradition was historical to the boys, and they couldn’t seem to remember why they had stopped, though they knew very well why…

Late one night, the boys were tired, hungry, typical features you could give a boy band that had worked hard all day at the studio. They all craved a break from being paid to sing songs that were chosen selectively by management and image consultants. They all knew for a fact that if they weren’t members of the band, they would hate their bubble gum pop sound, but it truly was worth it when they realized that they were living their dreams.

“I’m craving like… a loaded pizza, topped with every meat possible,” Niall fantasized. The boys all nodded in agreement.

“So pizza then?” Paul asked from the front of the SUV. A triumph of yes filled the car. “Alright, the usual place?”

“No,” Louis complained. “It’s too old. GPS a new place, something low key with great reviews.” Paul laughed at Louis’ description, pulling up Maps and looking for a place that could meet his criteria.

Soon, Paul pulled up in front of a worn down building. The walls were a chipped off rusty red color, and a semi working neon sign that read Pizzareality: Pizza Bar on display in the window. The boys shrugged their shoulders as they made their way in, Paul driving away as they reach safety in numbers.

“Welcome to Pizzareality!” the man at the front with a nametag reading Jimmy welcomed the lads in. Upbeat country music played in the background, a strong voice singing along with the beat. “Would you like a table or booth?”

“A booth will be fine. Thank you,” Liam smiled, opening up to the pleasant atmosphere played. As Jimmy lead them into the central area, the boys followed in awe at the setting. The crowd was minimal, but that’s what made up the significance to the boys.

A lone girl stood on a small platform that the locals called a stage singing out her emotion in the well-known Carrie Underwood song, ‘Before He Cheats.’

“I’m assuming it’s your first time here then?” the guy asks the group as they sit down. The boys all nod. “Well that’s fantastic! I’m Jimmy, but the usual’s call me Jim. And for you knowledge, every Wednesday is karaoke night here a Pizzareality. Y’all are welcome to sing whatever you like. Sign ups are over there and Madi will be over soon to take you’re order.”

From that night on, karaoke night became a tradition; the food was just a bonus. The start of this tradition was historical to the boys, and they couldn’t seem to remember why they had stopped, though they knew very well why.

“Give a hand for Marianne!” The Raccoon shouted as Marianne received plaudits from the small crowd.

“Lads, it’s Marianne!” Louis pointed out. “Marianne!”

The girl’s joyful light green eyes sparkled as she met the eyes of four out of five boys. “You’re back!” she exclaimed running over to say hi. She hugged Liam and Niall who stood up to greet her.

“Zayn, Louis, Harry…” she nodded at the other three respectively. Zayn and Louis waved enthusiastically at her whilst Harry merely gave a tightlipped smile to make an effort. “I never thought you would be back here; what made you all change your mind?”

“We kind have missed pizza night, so better late than never right?”

“I suppose you’re right, Zayn.” Marianne’s phone beeped resulting in her pulling it out to read the new message. She frowned as she read on. “I have to get going, but see you next week?” Her question was hopeful considering how long it had been since she had seen the boys.

They nodded at her and watched as she rushed out of the restaurant. The lads continued their conversation about their thoughts on anything non-work related. Pizza nights were the boys’ way to escape from the control of management, so work was off the table until the next day.

Harry continued to stay silent, finally finishing off the rest of his pizza excluding the crust. He never liked the crust on the pizza, and this would be the first time he would have to let it go to waste on a pizza night.

“Up next we have Niall and Zayn singing… The Wind Beneath My Wings?” The Raccoon started out enthusiastically but ended with confusion. The two boys snickered as they made their way up to the stage making complete and utter fools of themselves as they purposefully sang off pitch and out of tune. The general audience, however, enjoyed the humorous performance the boys brought to the night.

Harry, however, was not moved by Zayn and Niall’s effort to brighten up the situation. In fact, Harry wasn’t even aware the two had already taken their turn and that Liam and Louis were getting ready to sing as of now. Even as the boys finished their own rendition of ‘Don’t Stop Believing’, horrendously, Harry still shut off from everything around him in sight, in sound, in mind…

For Harry was too deep down in his thoughts to even care to tune into the world. He is still thinking about the actuality of him even stepping foot in this place, for even looking at, for letting the boys convince him to come here. The memories were too dense; they were too much to take in, and Harry couldn’t handle it anymore.

He gathered his things and stormed out of the building just as Liam and Louis came to sit back down. His jaw was clenched as tight as his white knuckles, his fingernails dug into the palm of his hand. He was upset with himself as if he had just committed the most unforgivable sin in history of sins.

But it was no sin… To him it was, but to everyone else, stepping into that building was a step forward. Everyone in there could actually believe that Harry was truly over everything, but in reality, it just hurt. Doing what he did, the time he had spent in there… hurt him. This act hurt him more than anything over these past years.

He was angry with himself. So angry that he ran outside and hit the brick wall beside him cracking his knuckles, most likely causing an injury, and he knew it too. But he didn’t run for help, he just turned his back to the outside wall and slowly slid down until he was sitting with his head in his hands.

Then, slowly, he looked up. He looked out at the stars, and he thought of why he was so upset. He thought of going back to his friends, but he couldn’t. So he simply wiped his face of fallen tears with mixed blood from his hand, looked up to the sky, and whispered with a shaky breath.

“Why did you have to leave?”

~

The next morning, Harry found himself sleeping humbly in his room at the bachelor pad. His memory of last night was blurry because of the tears and confusion, but he could vaguely remember the boys help him onto his feet as Paul pulled up with the van. Everything afterward was blank, for all he could see was blackness until his awakening this dull morning in London.

Harry slowly peeled back the sheets of his bed to reveal his wounded hand covered in a wrap with a faded red stain bleeding through. He shook his head at the sight, unpleased with him. To think that he wasn’t even intoxicated or anything, that he had done this sober, was even more of a disappointment.

When he had fully pulled back the comfort of his bed, he swung his legs ever so carefully over the side of his bed. With his good hand, he wiped the remains of sleep from his eyes before standing up and dragging his feet downstairs. He knew that it was early, for the sun was just peeking out from the horizon line, but there was one person that would always be up before him. So before he was bombarded with questions from everyone about last night, he knew that Liam would let him explain before asking any questions.

Just as Harry suspected, Liam was already in the kitchen sipping from a cup of black Earl Grey tea. Liam acknowledged Harry with a nod of his head as Harry made a cup for himself. When Harry was satisfied with the taste of his tea, he took the seat to the right of Liam.

They sat in silence for a while; simply enjoying the warm steam the cups gave off in reflectance of the cold weather, until Harry finally spoke up. “Liam, about last night… I- I don’t know what I was thinking. I just… I didn’t-”

“You were thinking about her,” Liam interrupted. “Harry, we all knew it was a risk to take you there because of past times, and of course we knew that the place would bring back awful memories, but was punching that wall really worth it? Do you think that this is what she would have wanted?”

“You don’t get it, do you?” Harry was agitated at how one of his best mates couldn’t understand what he was really going through. “The more I started to realize that I was actually there, the more I thought to myself of how much of a bad person I am. It was our tradition first, but he became her favorite tradition out of all of them. Being there without her… I just couldn’t bear it. Everyone there knows the story; therefore everything is connected to the past. I thought we were trying to move on from the past…” By now Harry’s eyes were watery as he stared into Liam’s, but it was too early to let the tears get to him.

Liam sighed. “Harry, I understand that it’s hard-”

“No you don’t. None of you do. Stop trying to make everything better, because as far as I know, I’ve never felt more pain in the past two years then in that one night.” Harry was furious. As much as he didn’t want to be angry with his friend, he was, and he didn’t want to be.

“Don’t you think that you’re not the only one hurting?” By now both boys were yelling. “Because when you’re hurt, the rest of us are hurt. We don’t like to see one of us hurt, but that’s just how things are. This band is falling apart, but you obviously can’t see that. And it’s all because of you Harry!” Liam spat out, but he instantly regretted it.

“If that’s what is happening, why didn’t anyone say so in the first place? I would have been fine on my own; we all would be fine on our own. I should have just left a long time ago, and you all think the same!” Harry hopped off of the stool and stormed up to his room.

“Harry, wait! I didn’t mean it like that. That’s not what I was trying to-” Liam was cut off by the slamming of his door, “-say.”