Niall’s POV
I make sure I don’t shut Taylor’s door all the way. Just like with Tori, I leave it cracked open a little. With a sigh, I turn on my heel and go towards the stair case. Usually, I could see the lights from downstairs, but as I walked down the staircase, my hand gliding on the railing, I could see nothing at all.

Just to be sure though, I continue the distance of the staircase. I reach the bottom and I walk into the living room and peer down towards the kitchen door. All the lights were off, and the other sign of lights down here were the back lights outside and the lights out front.

So, out of my knowledge that everyone’s in bed, I go head back upstairs where Hell probably awaits in my bedroom with the Devil itself there too. I know, I know.. a little too over board there. But still. Jana should know to believe me by now.

I’ve devoted the last three years, almost four, of my life just to her and our kids, and she ought to realize it by now. She doesn’t need to trust anyone but me. She doesn’t need to believe any one but me. She doesn’t need to love anyone but me. And damn it, it outta be that way forever.

But she’s too dumb to realize it by now.

Some how I made it to my bedroom door faster than I thought. I guess all that mental ragging that was going on inside my head sidetracked me from reality. My hand shakes a little as I place it around the knob of the door. I take a deep breath and release it as I turn the knob and open the door.

The lights were off, but Jana’s lamp was on. I saw her in the bed, the covers pulled up to her shoulders like she’s always done. She was lying on her side, her back facing my side of the bed, a sure sign that she was pissed at me for something I didn’t even do.

I close the door behind me. I gulp gently as I pass the bed and go to the bathroom door. I open it and leave it open as I stand in there. I stare at myself for a few moments before flicking my hair out of my eyes.

I had gone back to the whole ‘flip’ hairstyle months ago, before the wedding even. Jana liked my hair either way, but just was just easier for me do and faster to do too. Besides, it made me feel a little less insecure about myself.

But I wasn’t insecure all the time, just when other guys would look at Jana. I know.. I know.. its stupid and all.. but still. Jana’s breathtakingly beautiful, and I want everyone to know that she’s mine, not theirs.

With my hair covering my forehead, I could easily fix it. And if it got in my eyes, I could just flip out of my way. I liked it, so that was another reason I had gone back the old style of mine. Besides, I didn’t want to keep the same stuff forever. I’ll switch back eventually though.

I sigh gently as I turn off the lights and shut the door back. I step out of my NIKE shorts and kick them to the side. I pull my white T-Shirt over my head and throw it with the shorts. I’ll pick them up in the morning anyways, so it didn’t matter.

As I sit my phone on the nightstand, I pull the covers back just enough for me to get under them as I climb onto the bed. Jana kept still though. I didn’t want her think I was mad at her too, so I lied on my side to face her.

Even though all I saw was the back of body, I still wanted to reach over and kiss her. I felt my emotions and my hormones take over my body as I realized I had moved over closer to her, my hand was suddenly on her waist.

I propped myself on my elbow as I leaned down to her. I wasn’t lying down anymore, I was on my knees beside her. Her eyes were open, she was blinking slowly. I knew she saw me because she sighed gently.

My lips pressed against her temple and I softly kissed her. ‘’I love you, baby..’’ I whisper in her ear as I covered her up, I didn’t notice I pulled the covers off of her until just now. ‘’I’m waiting on you if you want to snuggle with me.’’ I remind her as I kiss her temple one last time before getting back in my previous position.

I heard her sigh again to herself and I sighed to, I knew she wasn’t as mad as she presented herself to be. I’ve been able to understand Jana for a long time. I can peek through her outside features and understand what she’s feeling on the inside before she even could.

She was my other half, and that’s the reason I can do that. I love her, and she loves me. No one can change that, and we both know that.

The public is trying to ruin me. I’ve heard it all before. Jana this, Niall that. Apparently I’m a cheater, and she’s a whore. Apparently that’s not my baby she’s carrying, and apparently I’m sleeping with five other women.

So thank you humanity. Thank you the world’s population. Thank you magazine editors and article writers. Thanks for trying to fuck up my life. If you haven’t realized by now.. nothing can tear me apart again. Nothing at all. I’ve been through the worst of times, and yet I still recollected myself and made the best of it. Because you can’t ruin me, no matter how hard you try.

I survived the shredding of a friendship, a bond that was supposed to last forever. I have two people that I thought I’d be friends with forever that want nothing to do with me, all because of lies and rumors and secrets and all that shit.

I some how survived the months my wife and my kids left me. I thought I’d die right then and there. But no.. I didn’t. Because I’m stronger than what I make my self look like I am. Just because I don’t fight back at the world doesn’t mean all those damn rumors are true.

And hopefully, just hopefully.. one day you’ll all see that.

Hopefully.

Notes

I'll update soon, probably not tonight//today but soon!!!x ♥♥♥