Harry's POV

This is the first time that I've felt uncomfortable whilst watching something with Stephanie. I was completely oblivious to the amount of sex that a series could contain. Part of me tried my hardest to not get into it too much, but the cast make it so realistic I can't help but imagine the fantasy with the girl sat next to me.

I glance over to Steph who has now pulled her knees up beneath her chin as she watches. She doesn't seem bothered, if anything, she's a little too relaxed. I quickly look at the TV again to avoid her noticing me. How did I agree to this? Most people try to stay clear from their ex or past partners, but not me. I just seem to let myself attach to her as if I've never let go before.

"Well, I'm peckish." Stephanie makes me jump as she springs up from the sofa and turns to look at me.

"Do you want anything?" She asks.

"Uh, no thanks." I watch her nod as she makes her way towards the kitchen. I look back to the TV and I can tell another sexual scene is on its way, so I quickly jump up and head to join her. "Maybe another drink?" I ask this time making her jump.

"Course." She smiles as she opens the fridge and rummages around for a beer. I debate whether or not to tell her I'll drink something else, even a soft drink because I'm driving. But for some reason I'm unsure of, I don't let the words escape my mouth. "Here." She says as she hands me a can.

"Thanks." I answer as I watch her get some crackers from the cupboard. I smile to myself as I watch her familiar routine that I surprisingly never forgot.

---

"Hungry?" I whisper in her ear as I wrap my arms around her, my chin sits comfortably on her shoulder. Whilst everyone is boozing it up in our local Portuguese town, Steph is making her snack of crackers. But she's having them a lot differently..

I watch her grab the peanut butter from the cupboard and slowly applying some on her knife. In small soft movements she spreads it evenly until placing the knife down on the side. Next she takes a banana and starts to slice it in neatly and even circles, I eye up exactly what she's doing as I'm used to plain boring crackers. It was either butter, cheese or some sort of pickles when I lived at home, nothing like Steph was creating.

"That looks nice." I grin as I keep my arms securely around her. I can tell she's smiling from the movement of her cheeks. I go back to watching her, she's now got golden syrup and chocolate sauce. One minute I'm thinking she's debating what one to use as both would most likely be too sickly, not for Stephanie it's not! She happily pours some golden syrup on top of the banana once placed neatly on top of the peanut butter. Grabbing the chocolate sauce, she does the same again and places it back down.
"Are you seriously going to eat that?" I ask as I can feel my stomach churning at the thought of the sugar overload.

"With delight." Stephanie laughs and I let go off her. She quickly grabs some strawberries from the fridge and quickly cuts them up adding them on the top of the sauce. Incredible.

"That's not a normal cracker.." I frown as I watch her carry the plate towards the table. She shakes her head as she sits down and smiles towards me.

"It's an amazing cracker my darling." Stephanie winks and then glances at the time before beginning to tuck in. I grab my water and take a banana from the fruit bowl and sit next to her. "I've always loved this, my Gran would make it for us when we were kids. It's something I always do now. Can't just have Cheese and Salmon anymore." She laughs. Salmon? What a massive difference.

"Well this is something new about you." I stop as her face suddenly turns to a frown as she pushes the plate away and runs away from the table towards the bathroom.

"Steph?" I call as I quickly get up and chase her but she locks the door. It's not long before I hear her clearing out her previous bite of cracker.

After ten minutes of waiting, Stephanie finally opens the door. Her eyes are red from crying and she looks completely shook up. I open my arms as she slowly walks towards me.

"Why does it taste bad? It never taste like that before, what's going on?" She asks as I guide her towards the living room. We sit down and I start to realise what I think could be the reason.

"I think it's the pregnancy, it can make you really off food, including the kind you love." I say sympathetically as I remember seeing this is sex education. I think it was more to show us so we'd put.off having sex and prevent pregnancies from happening. God they were really weird lessons.

"Well that's not fair, I want to be able to eat everything that I'd usually eat. Why should I suffer or suddenly have a change of foods I can and can't eat?" Steph snaps even though I know her understanding of this is much better than she's making out.

"We're going to have to tell the others, if this is what it's going to be like." She sighs as she slumps forward and leans lazily on to the table.

"But it's still early days Steph.." I say warily and she sits up and looks at me. I can tell by the look on her face that my choice of words weren't appropriate.

"We have too. If I can't stomach food or eat properly then they will know something is up Harry. There's no way around it and if this is what it's going to be like then I don't want to suffer in silence okay?!" The tone in her voice is enough warning for me. I nod without thinking as right now it doesn't matter what I want, I'm not the one growing a life inside of me and having my body changing constantly.

"Okay." I say quietly and she looks away sitting still. I put my hand on her back and gently rub my hand down to try and soothe her.

---

"Where's your golden syrup and strawberries?" I ask as I sit down at the table and she quickly turns to look at me. Her eyes widen as a little smile plays on her lips. "I remembered.." I smirk and she looks away smiling.

"I didn't expect you too." She answers shyly, it's been a very long time since I've seen her like this. I can't help myself but to continue,

"It's a memory that holds so much. It was the beginning of our new adventure." I look away as I feel my chest tightening. I didn't want to feel like this, by now I wanted to be okay, to be sure that I could be in the same room as Steph. But I don't know the answers anymore, my mind is back to square one and my heart is the biggest push over.

"An adventure I ruined." Stephanie turns away from me as I glance up at her. I wasn't expecting her to say that, somehow her words hint that she's still in pain, still suffering with out troubled past. "I'm sorry." She sighs as she finally looks at me, I stand up and walk towards her but her body stiffens. Leaving just enough room between us, I look into her eyes.

"Don't..." I whisper as I reach forward and gently touch her cheek, I don't know what's over come me as this isn't something I should be doing. She reaches up and takes my hand, gently squeezing it before moving it away back to my side.

"There's something you should know." She says as she looks into my eyes, her face is full of worry and anxiety as she wets her lip with her tongue. Although her words make me nervous, I try to stay approachable and calm, whether I'm succeeding in that, I don't know.

"What is it?" I ask as she doesn't seem to be able to speak, I take her hand without her approval as I fear something incredibly bad is about to leave her mouth. "Steph.." I say slowly as I begin to get impatient.

"It's about me," She starts as she pulls away from my hand and runs a hand through her long hair. "I haven't been completely honest." She stops and I wait for her to continue but it feels as if she's taking a lifetime.

"What do you mean?" I ask worriedly as I keep my eyes fixed on her. She inhales deeply and slowly releases the air as she places her hands on her hips. "Stephanie just tell me!" I snap and she looks at me and bites her bottom lip.

"My diabetes never started a couple of years ago." I'm completely focused on her as she watches every move that I make, "They started just before I had Amelia." I step back as my hand automatically places itself behind the back of my head. "I didn't know because of the pre eclampsia, it over shadowed it until the doctors realised that I needed insulin." She wipes her eyes as she knows exactly how bad this is for me, I can't take any more secrets.

"Am I hearing you correct? You had diabetes diagnosed when exactly?" I ask as I now place my hands on my hips as she drops her arms to her sides, her thumbs soon find each other as they twirl nervously against each other.

"When Amelia was born." She looks to the floor as she purposely avoids my reaction. I inhale but I quickly let the air back out.

"What is it with you and your fucking secrets Stephanie?" I snap as I now take both hands and place them behind the back of my head as I try to take it all in. "You knew exactly what was going on, your problems and condition was someone I tried hard to help you with, but you couldn't even tell me what was really wrong with you??!" I shout as I step towards her, the blood in my veins are now boiling with fury.

"I was trying to get it all processed in my own head Harry, let alone yours! I had seizures, okay it was partly because of my sugar levels and I had to make sure my diet and medicine was spot on, but I didn't want to take them. I didn't want to believe that I was diabetic, I'm too young Harry-"

"Kids have diabetes too? Get into the real world Stephanie and stop being so fucking selfish!! I'm not understanding what exactly was wrong with you. So you have diabetes, you were supposed to take medicine but you didn't? What about the seizures after the blood levels from pre eclampsia? Did that just magically clear up?" I snap as I stand closely In front of her. She folds her arms and slowly shakes her head.

"I had medicine for the seizures, they weren't as bad as the doctors thought, they settled down quickly. But it was the diabetes I had to focus on, but at the time I refused to look after it as I had so much going on I didn't know what to think half the time!!" She shouts as she lets her head fall into her hands.

"Well if you happened to have told me the truth Steph, I could have helped you process it all, to have been the support you needed." I say angrily as I hate her for this, I hate that she has treated this as if I'm nothing to do with her, just a shadow in the background.

"You had Amelia to worry about, I didn't want to add extra stress!"-

"Bullshit, you now for a fact I would have concentrated on you and Amelia. So don't play that one with me Steph. She looks away as she starts to cry, "So when you became weak and fragile, it wasn't the seizures, it was your blood and sugar levels because you were allowing yourself to be ill?" I ask with disgust in my voice, she slowly looks up.

"I'm sorry Harry.." She sobs as she wipes from underneath her eyes, I shake my head and shoved my hands in my pockets.

"Yeah, so am I" I snap as I head straight for the front door without even loking back at her, I need to get out of here.

Notes

Oh dear,
It was going so well with Harry and Stephanie..



Thank you so much for the comments for the last chapter, I'm sorry I have been away for a while, I've been quite ill but all ok now :)

Thank you for reading! xx