Harry's POV

"Everything I need I get from you ooh." I scribble the next line down as I keep going over the lyrics in my head. I'm trying to focus on new material for a new band that's joining us. It's a boy band too so I need it to sound like the type of the songs they'd sing.
Letting the pencil fall from my hand, I look up at the clock and see I've been sat here writing for at least two hours and yet all I have is a chorus. I used to be able to write well, but lately I just can't get the hang of it.
I look over as my phone lights up and I receive a message from Kara:

If you're free tonight, Prehaps we can go for that drink? ;) xxx

I don't bother texting back as I know once I pick my phone up I'll never be able to pick the pencil up and continue. This has to be complete by today and for some reason I just can't get my words right. My phone lights up again.

2 Messages

I sigh as I reach over and I open the next text which is from Stephanie. I know she wants to know what time I'll be picking Amelia up tonight but right now I don't want to be distracted from other things. If I can't find a way to write at least one idea of a song down, then I'm going to end up failing for future ones. I need my head back in the game.
I realise I have another message which is from Louis, again I ignore it and this time I set my phone on airplane mode to cut off any further messages from coming through.

Back to my pencil. I start scrubbing a couple of lines down and I hum them in my head hoping they flow together well. At the moment it's not too bad but I know I can make it better. When you're writing about past events it's easier because you have the emotion inside and it basically writes the song itself. But when you have no emotion left to use, it starts to become a struggle. Instead of writing something about a sad type of love, I'm working on a happy type. The kind of song that will make people smile and make them think of that special someone that they are in love with.

I miss feeling like that. I feel like I'm ready to find someone again to just have that company and to feel close again. It's hard thinking I may have to learn about someone all over again and I'm not mentally sure if I'm fully prepared for that. But I suppose I have to start somewhere.

Looking over my shoulder, I see a photo of Amelia in a frame that Steph had given me for Father's day. Every move I make affects her just as much as me, I can't just introduce her to people for them to just end up leaving her life so suddenly. I don't want to be one of those Dad's that just messes around and their kid meets several women as he does so. I want to be a good role model to Amelia.
I start to think of Stephanie as I know she'll always be the love of my life. The one who fits my name perfectly. You've got Bonnie and Clyde, Beyoncè and Jay-Z, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and now, Harry and Stephanie. We gel together and we're so hard to break.

"But we are broken." I mumble as I lean my fore head on to my palm as my elbow rests on the desk. I'm trying to teach my heart to love towards someone else. It's not easy.
Kara was a mild distraction but a plan that soon deflated when I kept comparing her to Stephanie. Everytime she spoke my mind just wondered off and I ended up going back to the first time when I stepped into the May's house. When Stephanie looked at me in shock.how innocent and young was she then? Before all of this happened we were two kids who were just trying to make our way through life. We both knew we wanted each other, but complications jus kept happening.

Amy. My goodness I forgot about her. That never broke us because in the end we still found each other again. Just like the Naomi incident. Thinking I was the father of her child was the biggest scare of my life because it wasn't what I planned. Stephanie and I also got though it, we were much stronger than we ever gave credit for. You only realise how much you've been through once you look back.

"I want to write you a song.." I write that down as it's so simple yet so me. This is all I want to do. I remember using Ryan's studio and writing in there for hours. Those were the days when I learnt how to really get my emotions out, to be able to tell Stephanie how I felt. I was a loose canon then, hot tempered and didn't really give a fuck about life and anyone who was in it. Now look at me, I'm a Dad to a beautiful girl who's now at school. How did that happen?

We made it happen. We knee our love could extend to a family, we thought our lives would be like others once having a baby. We'd go out to the park, feed the ducks and argue about who was the most tired because of the night feeds. Not us. We didn't even get the chance to feel all of that. Thinking about what was thrown at us really makes me realise how hard things were. Not only were we newly parents, we were different because of medical reasons. Not because we chose to be different. We didn't expect to have that, to have Steph diagnosed with her problems. We thought life would go back to how it was but with a baby at hand. Now it all seems so unfair.
She was so excited to meet Amelia, when we found out we were expecting a girl, Steph made us paint the nursery three different shades of pink and purple. It was really over the top princess style. But Steph loved it and that meant I did too.
She never really got the chance to enjoy the nursery with Amelia. She was bed bound and no wonder she fell into her own world of hatred towards her problems. At the time my mind was occupied by making sure Amelia was fed, changed and basically being looked after well.

I feel so low, it's like my heart as left me. The sadness that I feel as I think about Stephanie and how times really changed her; I realise she was the victim too. She was forced into adapting to a new life and having to accept that she would never be that girl she was before. She knew inside she felt different but on the outside to us, she was the same Stephanie as before. No wonder we clashed. I didn't even step in her shoes and imagine what she was going through.

"Fuck." I sigh as I drop the pencil and I sit back in my chair. She is Stephanie and she is adapting her life now. I an supposed to be there with her whether or not she left me. My kind should have clicked and realised she was not thinking in the right mind set. She needed help and I didn't respond, even though I thought I was there for her but I really wasn't.
It takes two to destroy a relationship, now I have accepted exactly why I failed her. It doesn't matter that she let me down and walked away. I should have fought for her and understood exactly what she was going through. I fell weak.

"Mate why is your phone off?" Louis snaps he quickly barges into the room and makes me jump. Before I can answer he's already trying to get his words out. "It's Amelia, she's had an accident at school and is at the hospital."

"What?!" I pain ad I quickly stand up and grab my keys from the hook. I leave work and head straight outside as Louis follows me out.

"Apparently she was in gym and she fell landing awkwardly. I'm not entirely sure what she's done." Louis pants as he regains his breath.

"Does Steph know?" I ask as I unlock my car.

"Yeah, she's there with her. " Louis answers and I nod as I quickly sit down and tell him I'll call him later. I close the door and start the engine before quickly accelerating off.

Notes