Stephanie's POV

"Steph!" Mum smiles as she opens her arms warmly to me. I accept her hug and try my best to stop myself from shaking. "It's so good to see you." She adds as she guides me inside.

"Thanks for letting me stay." I close the door behind me and I'm greeted by my Dad as we head towards the living room. I hug him as he kisses the top of my head, something he would do when I was a little girl.

"Sit down" Dad says as he wanders back out the room to fetch what I can only imagine is some drinks. He never changes, always has to be doing something for someone.
Mum turns to me and continues to smile.

"It's been a while, how are things?" She asks and I take a deep breath as I lean forward on the edge of the sofa and I clasp my hands together. Honesty is the best policy, so they say.

"Things haven't been too great, I've not been good." I answer as my nerves are beginning to get the better of me. Mum's smile suddenly drops.

"You're ill again? Have things got worse?" She asks as she stands up and sits next to me. I slowly shake my head. Before I speak I let Dad join us as he carries in a tray of drinks and places them down on to the coffee table.

"No, I'm not worse." I answer and Mum sighs heavily with relief. She looks to Dad as he sits down and starts to listen. "There's something you should know, but please don't get angry straight away. Just let me explain" I start without even looking at them, but I can feel their eyes burning into me.

"Steph.." Dad says as he tries to get my attention. I slowly look at them, I hate how worried they look and I know that worry will now turn into anger.

"Whatever has happened we are here for you." Mum says soothingly. I look away again, this is typical. They've been so supportive towards me and tried their best in the beginning to help me see things in a positive light. All those hours spent trying to calm me down will be thrown back in their face. How could I do this?

"I've been a fool, a stupid coward who has just made everything complicated." I stop as Mum puts her arm around me.

"Oh Steph, don't beat yourself up. I'm sure whatever it is we can get through it." She answers and I breathe in slowly. Before my condition my parents had more of a tough love approach, now they sort of treat me like a child. I know it's because they want to protect me, but I'm not their little girl who needs protecting anymore. I'm Stephanie May, a grown woman who needs to step up and face the truth in life. I can no longer lie, no longer run, I can not make my life to be something that it's not. It's time to face the reality and to live in honesty.

"If it's about you and Harry then don't worry, as long as Amelia is happy and looked after-" I quickly stop Dad there.

"It's not about Harry, or Amelia. It's about me. It's about how I've been living a lie for so long. I've lied to everyone that loves me and I've been incredibly selfish." I pause as I check their reaction. Both of them look puzzled and slightly frustrated. So I know to continue. "I have had diabetes since having Amelia. My condition cleared up alot of with my medication, the doctors were happy with my progress. But the seizures were caused by lack of insulin. I never looked after myself as I didn't want to believe the truth." I stop there as my Mum looks completely baffled. My Dad however is red in the face and looks completely pissed off.

"Wait, you have had diabetes all this time and never thought to tell us?" Dad asks and I look away as I nod. "You told us two years ago, when you had your fit." He adds in confusion as he mentally relives the memory.

"Steph! How could you not tell us? This is really important.." My Mum looks to Dad and she stops. I look at him as slowly stands up.

"We thought you had it for a few years but all this time you lied? Do you know how dangerous and careless you have been? Your fits could have killed you!!" Dad shouts and I nod as I look at him.

"I wasn't thinking straight, my head was all over the place and then when I finally sorted myself out I just wanted to to hide it away. If I kept it to myself but kept it under control, it would save everyone else worrying." I answer and Dad shakes his head and walks towards me and leans down to my level.

"That's Bullshit Steph, how could you be so stupid? What if we were with you and you were having a fit? We wouldn't have known that you needed your medication. Why did it take two years to tell us?" He shouts again and I stand up.

"Ryan..." Mum snaps as she looks at him with a look of anger. Dad doesn't even glance at her, his eyes stay firmly on to me. I look back at him and I sigh.

"Jed told me to tell you, he doesn't know the truth either. But he found my medication kit and that's when I came clean. I know I've been stupid and if I could have handled things differently then I would-"

"How did you turn out like this? We didn't raise you to be liar! You are a mother Stephanie, life isn't all about you anymore!"

"I know!!" I shout and the tears fill in my eyes. "I know I've been a shit person and a bad mother, but I never expected to be thrown all of this so quickly. I'm not as strong as you think, I hit rock bottom and I do struggle getting out. I wasn't thinking like I am now, I didn't care about consequences then, but I do now!" I wipe my tears and Dad just looks away from me. I glance to Mum who is now looking more devastated.

"Maybe it is a little too late Steph. White lies are bad enough, but this! This is your health. I don't even know the girl I am looking at, because I know my daughter would have never done or lied about something so serious." My Dad walks away and leaves me standing alone. I feel worse than ever, this really didn't go well and I can't blame his reaction.

"Does Harry know?" Mum asks as she breaks the silence. I look to her and slowly nod.

"Just recently." I whisper and I sit down next to her. "I'm so sorry Mum." I start but she stands up and leaves the room. I let my head fall into my hands. I hear our doorbell go but I don't bother to move, maybe I should go home. Maybe I should give them time to process it all.



"She's in there." Mum says and I quickly look up as I'm not expecting anyone to be visiting. I'm even more stunned when I see Harry slowly walking in and closing the door behind him.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I stand up and fold my arms. This is not happening, I can't have problems with parents plus Harry, not in the same place. "Where's Amelia?" I panic as Harry never comes this far without her.

"Amelia is at my parents, she's fine don't worry." He sighs and then shoves his hands in his pockets. "I've come to talk" He stops as he looks around and sighs. "Your Mum seems tense.." He adds cautiously and I shake my head as my arms fall to my sides.

"Well she is taking it all in Harry, so that's exactly why you shouldn't be here." I answer trying my best to keep myself together, to lose it all now and break down would just break me. I have to be strong for myself, for my family that I've let down in the worst way. I don't think I am over reacting this time, I don't think my parents are out of order with their reactions, everything is how it should be. Turning away from Harry, I fold my arms protectively across my chest as I close my eyes hoping that somehow I can wake up and this is all a big dream.

"You can't blame them if they have not reacted well." Harry states and I nod as I slowly open my eyes, my body jolts as he stands in front of me. His green eyes stare into mine, but it doesn't feel like Harry. It feels like I've gone back in time and I have just met him. For the first time in my life, I wish I had met him now and not so early on in my life. He knows too much about me and we've been through too much together so soon. He parts his lips and wets them as lets out a little sigh. "Lets get out of here." He suggests as his eyes flick back and forth to mine. I can tell he's trying to work out what is going on in my mind, but I don't think he'll be able to figure me out this time, especially if I can't.

"I can't leave.." I stammer in shock, he slowly shakes his head and quickly speaks,

"You need to give them space and we still need to talk." He answers and he opens the living room door, I turn to face him and he tilts his head to encourage me to follow him. Right now I could cry, having Harry here and being so gentle towards me is all I've wanted for so long. But it's just not for the right reasons to why he's acting like this, I wish I could change the reason but unfortunately I've made my bed, so I better lay in it. I nod as I know space for my parents could be a good idea, maybe they need a bit more time than what I had anticipated but I understand at the least.

I grab my coat and bag, I quickly rummage through it for my essentials, keys and purse. As Harry opens the front door, I step behind him as Mum walks towards us. I look away as I can tell she's been crying, her eyes go ridiculously red and her voice completely changes. I just can't face my damage.

"Where are you going?" She asks softly and I try to think as I don't even know the answer myself. I can't just tell her 'out' because she'll think I'm being stubborn and cold, that's really not how I want to come across right now.

"Just popping out for some fresh air, we have some things to go through. If that's okay with you guys?" Harry answers and I look at him as he looks directly at Mum, he's saved me again. Looking down to the floor, I listen as Mum says goodbye and we head outside. "Things will eventually get better, they'll come around once they're over your insane ways." Harry adds and I glance at him as he unlocks his car. He walks towards me and opens the passenger door, "Get in then." He snaps and I frown at his sudden change of tone.

"Why? I don't want to be taken somewhere so you can just rip into me Harry." I snap back at him and he places his hand on my back and gently nudges me to move. I roll my eyes as I lean down and take a seat, I watch as he closes the door after me and he walks in front of the car and opens his door before climbing in.

"I'm not going to rip into you Steph. Even though I have every right to do so." He says as he starts the car and I look out the window. I knew this would have to happen but not here, not in Manchester. "You need to go back and realise the girl you were. Because when you were a Manchester girl you were different, I loved you. But now as a Londoner, you're not quite right anymore." His words hit me with a hell of a punch, he loved me. So that confirms he doesn't love me anymore?

"People change Harry." I answer as I know this fight won't be in my corner, he's got me right where he wants me and I know he won't back down.

"Not like you did. People can tweak themselves and yes change certain little things. But to change like you, to turn into a liar and a self obsessed girl just isn't right Stephanie-"

"I am not self obsessed Harry!" I shout as I hate him for saying this to me. I know I deserve insults and to be treated like I've shamed everyone but to call me that is one step too far. "I made a stupid but massive mistake and I can not preach enough how much I regret it. I wasn't thinking right, I tried to protect people and myself when not realising I was doing the opposite. So before you throw around insults like that, maybe think before you speak." Again, I fight back the tears as I don't want to be broken, not tonight, not by him.

"I don't know what to say to you, this has happened and we've come too far now to take any of it back. You've destroyed trust and I don't know how you can get that back, I wish I could help you because I know that girl is in there somewhere. I just can't find her and neither can you." I don't respond to him as I stare out of the window and just listen. "I want to look at you and hate you, I thought I did hate you, I tried my hardest to make you an enemy and to erase you from my heart." As he pauses I glance at him and I wipe the tears that have managed to escape, I haven't even realised that he's stopped the car until he looks at me and wipes his eyes. He's crying, because of me.
"I love you but I wish I didn't. I don't want to feel like this, I don't want to programme myself that you are not good enough for me, because you are. But I'm broken by you Steph, I was once strong, cold and stubborn before I was reunited with you. But you cracked me and I suddenly turned into this guy who fell in love and I couldn't get out of it." He sniffs as he wipes his nose with the back of his hand. To see him so upset completely devastates me. I never imagined us to be sat in a car, both crying our eyes out.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper and I try to pull myself together.

"Me too." He answers and I look back at him. "I wish we never came to this, I wish I knew about you and could help. But I didn't, and that confuses me, because I thought I knew you so well I'd at least notice something so important was happening to you." He lets his head fall into his hands. I can't help but take my seat belt off and lean over to him, I just wrap my arms around him as he cries.

"I never wanted to hurt you, I understand what I've done and I accept my full responsibility. I am still that girl you loved, I know she's been over shadowed by a girl who became scared and a coward. But things just got the best of me and I know I completely lost my way and I didn't understand how things could change and I would live my life completely different to how I did before. I just couldn't get the idea to settle in my head, it's like my brain rejected it and jut told me that everything was mixed up and I wasn't going through what the doctors had told me. I didn't feel like me, I didn't believe I was Stephanie May the girl who had such a good life and enjoyed everything in her life. I was suddenly pushed down this black hole and I couldn't even attempt to get out, it was too deep and I had to stay there and slowly process what was going on. Eventually I realised the trouble I had got myself in and how much I had let myself down including everyone else. What a mess. I don't deserve anyone to try and understand me, because this is too far for anyone to forgive. I accept that now." I let go of him as my words wake my up a little bit, this is the first time I have been so honest with myself and anyone else. He slowly looks up at me and wipes his eyes and clears his throat.

"I wish you told me.." He whispers and I nod as I do too. "I never even knew you were that low, you should have let me in and we could have worked through it and got you help." He adds and I look away as I wish that was exactly what I had done.

"Well, I don't know how many times I can explain it, it still won't make sense." I say as I run a hand through my hair. He nods and I catch him in the corner of my eye, slowly turning to him I watch as he opens the door and closes it once he's out. He soon appears at my door and opens it for me, I step out and realise we are the park that hold many memories for us.

"All I can do is try to understand. I need to block out the anger and disappointment to that back of my mind and try to work through this." He sighs as he locks the car and starts to slowly walk away, I catch up with him as I look around at a couple of teenagers that are sat on the swings. They don't bother glancing at us as they are completely unaware with who is around them, they are in their own little world together as friends. I smile as I admire the way they look so relaxed and unbothered about life, what I would do to feel like that.

"Why have you brought me here?" I ask as we walk up the small hill that I recognise too well.
"This is where we had our kiss.." I add without even thinking about the words leaving my mouth. A smile appears on his face and Harry looks to me as we sit down on the grass.

"I wanted us to just go back to the people we once were, when life was simple. No illnesses, no kids, no living in London. Just me and you, together." Harry says as he pulls his knees up and leans his arms lazily on top of them.

"Those were the days." I answer as I can't believe we are sat here together, I didn't think it would be like this. "I'm not sure how to resolve this with you or what you want from me." I add and Harry looks at me and shrugs as he bites his bottom lip.

"I'm not sure either, I really want to be able to forgive you but I know it will take time. Our lives aren't simple anymore, they are full with responsibilities." Harry answers and I nod as I agree with what he's saying. I want to reach out to him, to let him in and tell him exactly how I feel but I don't want to scare him off, not when I've got him this close to me.

"Do you think we can get past this? As friends?" The F word hurts and I wish I didn't have to say it. I look away as I wait for his answer, my heart is beating so fast I try to take small deep breaths.

"In time, perhaps." Harry says and that answer alone is good enough for me. "I'm not going to pretend that I am okay with this and that we can go to being friends again. Because we have a long way to come, I don't think shouting at you or ignoring you will work or is exactly the best way to deal with it. Especially when we have a daughter, we need communication," He adds and I look at him and I let a little smile appear on my lips.

"Thank you." I sigh in relief and he nods without looking at me. "We better get back Harry, Amelia will wonder where you've gone." I add and Harry shakes his head and lays back on the grass as he puts his arms behind his head.

"Amelia will be asleep, we may as well try and talk a bit more, whilst we are here?" He suggests and looks up at the few stars that glare down at us. This time my heart skips but I try to ignore my emotions and feelings, he isn't staying because he wants me like I want him. He wants to try and make this better, I understand this but I don't know how much I can be around him when my heart falls weak and is unable to stay strong.

Notes

So sorry for my disappearance,
I have been so unwell, my health really isn't great at the moment and everytime I think I will get past it and better, it gets worse. I have been trying to write for so long, I didn't want to wait this long to update.

But here it is, were you slightly suprised to how well Harry turned out to be? He bit the bullet and just listened. A few home truths were exchanged and he learnt screaming at each other won't resolve things, it will just get harder.
Poor Stephanie, she's so in love, but Harry just doesn't seem to know where his head is right now.

What are your thoughts on this chapter? I hope you enjoyed it!
And again, sorry it's so late!

Thank you for sticking with me, I honestly thought I'd lose subscribers! So I really appreciate you all staying with me on this story!
xx