Chapter 1: Please Stop

|| Lauren ||

I stood among the mass of screaming, chaotic fan girls, trying as hard as possible to keep my sanity. I was meant to be here with my best friend, Jess, but she'd bailed me on last second. So now I stood, looking like a creepy loser; I mean technically it's true, but I would've felt much better if she were here. She's the only one who understands just how important the boys are to me.

I crossed my arms over my chest, putting all my weight on one foot while tapping the other one impatiently. I had my skateboard on the ground and was gently rolling it back and fourth with my injured leg; it still hurt to put any pressure on my left foot, so my right foot was starting to go numb from putting all my weight on it all day.

My step-dad, Chris, had really done a number on me last night.

[ FLASHBACK ]

I carefully placed the pizza in the oven and sprinted upstairs to call Jess back since I promised I would as soon as I got the chance. I ran into my room and flopped on my bed, wincing a little from the bruises on my ribs Chris gave me from pissing him off a few nights ago. I dialed her number and rolled onto my side so I was staring at my only One Direction poster, feeling the familiar fluttering in my stomach.

Some people may be obsessed with them because of their music or their looks... but not me. I am just in love with the whole package. Their personalities are the greatest I've ever known, and it's safe to say I'd still adore them if their voices were horrible and they looked like trolls. Jess finally picked up the phone on the fifth ring, "Hey Lauren... what's up?" She asked, sounding unsure.

"Nothing really... you okay?" I asked twirling a piece of my blonde hair around my finger.

"Lauren... I'm really sorry.." She trailed off, my eyes shot wide open because I knew what she was going to say, "But I can't come to the signing tomorrow.." She barely whispered the last part knowing I'd get upset. Not angry... just anxious about going alone.

"O-Oh... Well it's okay Jess," I stuttered as I released my hair and rubbed my face, "No really, it's okay. I still need to go. You know I need to see them." I said softly, trying to reassure her.

I'm really sorry, I really am... but coach said she was going to put me in Kelsey's spot at the swim meet in Chesterfield. I have to swim the 200 meter fly," she groaned. And I smiled a little because I knew that Jess absolutely hated the butterfly stroke but she was best at it.

"Awe... you'll do great!" I said trying to sound excited for her even though in the back of my head I was a little depressed I'd be going to the signings alone. Ugh- I'm going to look like a total creep.

"Have fun okay? And make sure you give Harry the letters Lauren," she said seriously. I sucked in a harsh breath almost forgetting about that. I was about to reply when I heard my least favorite voice call up the stairs, "L-A-U-R-E-N!" Chris called from the first floor. And that's when I smelled it... the burnt smell.

Oh shit, the pizza!

"I gotta go, J, I'll call you tomorrow." I whispered hurriedly before hanging up and sprinting back down the stairs; I came to a stop when I was met by Chris, holding the burnt pizza and glaring at me like I was a piece of shit.

"I'm sorry Chris! I was just talking to Jess about her swim mee-" before I could finish my plea, I felt a hard smack across the face, and my head whipped to the side as I held my throbbing cheek. I could already feel tears welling up in my eyes. You'd think that after going through this bullshit day after day, I'd work up some kind of numbness to it.. But no. Every punch, slap, kick is just as painful as the first time he hit me three years ago. Still holding the pizza in his hand, he came forward and backhand me, causing me to loose my balance and crumble to the ground.

After he slapped me to the ground, I tried to crawl away but he grabbed my ankle and dragged me into the kitchen; my eyes widened in horror as he grabbed the still hot pan, dumping the pizza to the round, and he pushed the scorching metal against my bare foot. The blood curdling scream that was wrenched from my lips lasted for about five seconds, until he finally pulled the pan away. The tears were streaming down my face as I cradled my red, angry looking heel in my hands. I was in total shock as I stared at the little pattern of dots left behind from the pan, which were quickly turning into blisters. This had to be a second degree burn.

"Get up and order a pizza you useless bitch!" He screamed as he grabbed me by my hair and lifted me to my feet. I quickly took hold of the counter to balance myself and without looking over my shoulder I limped from the room, leaving my fuming step-father and the burnt pizza remains on the floor.

I stumbled up to my room, and after ordering the dick his pizza, I went to my bathroom, locking myself inside. I turned on the shower and quickly stripped off my clothes, being extra careful when I removed my left pant leg over my foot. I still felt like the pan was against my foot, it was excruciating.

I hobbled into my shower after switching my iPod onto shuffle. I sat against the cold shower wall as the scalding water rained down on me. I felt myself relaxing to Ed Sheeran's soothing voice as "Leg House" drifted into the shower, encircling me in whispered words of love. It was the only time I ever felt loved or protected. How sad is that? The only time I ever felt like I was worthy enough to feel love, was when I heard the voices of Ed and my five favorite boys.

My tears mixed with the clean water, trailing down my cheeks and dying at my lips. The salty taste was something I was so used to, and the though of it made me cry harder.

My body was shaking with sobs as I grabbed for one of my hidden razors that I had taped up underneath my sink. I fumbled with the tape, finally pulling the razor free and bringing my arm back into the warmth of the shower. I was about to slide the glistening metal across my usual place, my thighs, but I looked at the condition they are in and decided against it, as they were still a bit torn up from the other night.

My eyes slowly wandered to my wrists. I had a few scars along my forearms , but for the most part, I tried to avoid cutting my wrists... merely because it seemed so cliche . I didn't cut for attention, I cut to feel in control. However, at that moment, I didn't care about the fact I'd have to worry about hiding the cuts tomorrow... At that moment I just wanted release.

[ END OF FLASHBACK ]

I was pulled back to reality when I realized I'm only two groups of girls away from the boys. My nerves built up and I gripped the envelope which housed the letters I'd written to Harry tightly in my hand, still unsure if I was going to deliver it to him. In the letters, I literally bared my soul, revealing all my secrets, hopes, and dreams. I suppose the letters were somewhat of a diary. I just wanted to let the boys know they helped me, and made me feel loved even though they have no idea who I am...

I just wanted them to know me like I knew them. I anxiously shoved the envelope back in my pocket and watched the girls ahead of me.

The girls moved a little and I could see all the boys's faces- causing me to catch my breath in my throat. My eyes took a few seconds to absorb the perfection that radiated from each boy. First there was Louis, with his poised demeanor and adorable smile, then Zayn, who stood waving as he tried to hide a little smirk, always trying to seem mysterious. Liam was in the middle, a big genuine smile covered his face as he signed autographs. God he looked like a puppy. At the ed of the table sat Niall with his blonde hair, dark roots and a wide smile, showing off his braces. Last -but certainly not least- sat Harry. Dark, chestnut curls falling on his shoulders, his cheeky smile, dimples, his piercing green eyes... god he was perfect. I had the biggest crush on him.. seriously, I was borderline obsessed.

I watched closely as the boys interacted with their fans and couldn't help but squeal -n the inside- at how cute their bromances were. Niall and Harry kept messing around and laughing, while Louis kept complaining and asking them why he ended up sitting so far away from Harry. I rolled my eyes and grinned stupidly at their cuteness. I mean.. Narry was my OTP, so I was in fan girl heaven at the moment... you know... if I was a fan girl.

By the time I reached the front of the line, I was feeling so nervous ans self conscious I could puke. God... please don't let me barf on Harry... I beg you. There were still five girls getting autographs and pictures, and I suddenly began feeling very weird watching as all the girls gripped onto their CD's and various merchandise because I hadn't brought anything for the boys to sign. Wow... this was going to be awkward.

What would I say? Um... Hi my name is Lauren and I was just wondering if I could awkwardly stand here for five minutes and stare at your beautiful faces. Let's hope they go for it.

I felt my body trembling slightly as one of the body guards gave me a light shove towards the table. The girls behind me already had cameras ready and were laughing and sometimes squealing as they tried to get one of the boys's attention.

As I made my way over to the table, I tried to tame my wandering thoughts on the moment. This is my only chance ever to interact with them, and didn't want to let it pass me by because I was nervous. Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, I reached the table and nearly fainted when Louis threw his bright, shining smile my way.

" 'Ello, love... how are you today?" Louis chirped, in his beautiful little high pitched accent, his eyes meeting mine. He looked towards my hands, expecting me to thrust some object in his face for him to sign. I smiled sheepishly as I put my hands up and shrugged my shoulders. "Nothing for us to sign?" He asked curiously as he slid his permanent marker smoothly behind his ear.

I felt my cheeks warm slightly as I awkwardly clapped my hands and shook my head. I scrunched my face up in concentration as I thought about what to say without sounding like a deranged stalker.

I let out an awkward laugh as I gazed into his pretty eyes, "Yeah.. sorry. I don't really want anything signed..." I stopped speaking when I heard one of Harry's famous laughs at the end of the table. Both Niall and himself were in hysterics about something a fan has said. I felt a dumb smile slip onto my face as I watched Harry laugh, but then quickly snapped my head back to Louis when I heard him clear his throat.

"Oh! I-I'm sorry, I was just going to say that I... I just really wanted to meet you. All of you.." I motioned to all the boys sitting alone the table, "I just wanted to let you all know how much you've helped me through some hard times in my life," I could hear my voice trembling, "I don't need any autographs, I know you're just normal people. I just really wanted to meet you, and say thanks... is that alright?" I trailed off as I looked up shyly.

I still felt like I was on the verge of tears, but I held myself together... I wasn't going to let myself fall to pieces in front of these boys who I loved so much. Or the thousands of girls behind me who had freaking cameras.

When I looked up again. I saw that I had the attention of the rest of the table; Louis was nodding his head approvingly as my eyes met his once more.

"Of course that's fine, love." Liam gushed as he gave me a huge smile.

"Not to mention refreshing," Zayn added softly as he stood and leaned across the table to give me a hug. I was so stunned at first, it took me a few seconds to actually hug him back. I squeezed him tightly, still in complete shock. Usually it's the fan girls that initiate hugs- right?

Louis nodded his head and took my hand. His kissed it quickly and also leaned across the table to hug me. I let a single tear drip from my eye as I hugged Louis tightly. He pulled back and looked at me in the eye, swiping the tear off my cheek.

"A pretty girl like you should never cry." Louis whispered.

After giving Louis a grateful smile, I made my way down the table, stopping in front of Liam; he was also smiling as he stood and pulled me into a hug, "We're so glad you came to see us.." He trailed off, hinting to know my name.

"O-Oh! My name is L-Lauren!" I stuttered excitedly.

Liam smiled and squeezed me into another hug before saying, "Well Lauren, we're so happy you came, and we're happy that we helped you in any way we could." He said seriously as he looked me in the eye, "Now take care of yourself, yeah?" He insisted.

I nodded my head and made my way to see Niall. A pair of blue as well as green eyes stared at me curiously. Oh don't fail me now, my Narry heart...

|| Harry ||

The girl did a small wave to the three boys she just hugged, and proceeded down the table to me and Niall.

She was honestly stunning, she had a very unique look to her. Light blond hair that tumbled down her back in soft waves. A small button nose, high cheek bones, and if you look closely, a faint splash of freckles decorated her cheeks. She had a simple left dimple on her cheek, which I though was adorable. She was wearing a green OBEY snap back -my kind of girl- and had on a loose Rolling Stones band tee, white jeans, and light blue Vans. In one hand she was holding a worn skate board while the other arm was decorated with bracelets.

She gave Niall a warm hug, and she froze in front of me, "Sorry love... I didn't catch your name." I asked as she gripped her skateboard tightly.

"I-It's Lauren," She smiled. Her smile wasn't Hollywood perfect, rather it was adorably childlike; her teeth were straight, yet they were very small and square. She was beautiful.

"Hello, Harry." She now stood in front o me, obvious excitement radiating off her body.

I felt chills travel up and down my arms at the sound of her voice. It sounded husky and melodic, kind of like one of those voices you'd say would sound good on a radio.

I could see her hands were trembling slightly as tears filled her eyes. At first- I didn't know if I had done anything wrong... she didn't act this upset in front of the other lads. She gave me a sad smile.

I watched her hand reach into her pocket and pull out a white envelope. At first I thought she was giving me something to sign so I gave her a strange look, but she brought it closer to me and gently offered it in her outstretched hand. It had my name written on the front in neat cursive.

I leaned forward to take the envelope and as I reached for it, I saw something I absolutely hated to see; although she had colorful bracelets trying to his her wrist, it was easy to see the scars underneath, not only to mention at least ten really fresh looking ones that were red and jagged.

Instead of grabbing the envelope, I grabbed a hold of her hand and stood up to examine her wounds more easily. Once Lauren realized what I was trying to look at, she immediately began trying to pull her hand out of my grasp, but I held it tight and looked up to meet her tearful, deep blue eyes.

Once she let her eyes lock with mine, her arm went limp in my hold. Her eyes looked like they were about to over flow, but she didn't let her tears fall, and that's how I realized how strong this girl was. She looked down, shamefully at the ground and I felt a pang of guilt.

I could feel the lads looking at us without trying to cause to much attention; we didn't want to embarrass her. I broke eye contact and moved the bracelets up her forearm so I could examine her cuts. I rubbed my thumb over some of the faded marks that ran alone her wrist, then traced the new ones that made painful patterns.

"Lauren.." I ripped my eyes from her painful secret.

Although I'd just met the girl- this made me feel so upset and I knew I was unable to help. "It's okay, Harry. This is why you've helped me. Okay? Things would be so much worse if it weren't for you boys." She said in a comforting way, making me forget that I'm the one supposed to be comforting her.

I brought her wrist up to my lips without breaking eye contact and gently kissed the jagged marks. I could feel thousands of eyes on us, from both the lads and the fans, but at that moment I didn't care. I only cared about Lauren.

"Please stop, Lauren, "I whispered, tears threatening to drip from my green eyes. "Please... I love you. We all do. Please stop."

Notes

FIRST CHAPTER!

SQUEEEEEEE

GOD I FEEL LIKE MY HAND'S GONNA FALL OFF:3

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Aby