Save Me From Myself

I have now been home for a week. I have to go to school soon according to my aunt. They are putting me in the same school as ashton went to. They found out that the boys next door are my once favorite band. But now its like someone just showed me reality, Showed me the real world in black and white. Its just horrible that they were once you shinning ligh and now its like the devil blew it out.

i have been playing with my scars. there is one that they had to stitch up. Its a fucking lie if people tell you if you cut vertically the doctors wont be able to stitch it up. well that is so un true because they did it with me. i have 8 stitches running down my arm. it feels like i have little knots where each of the stitches are.

Its strange when you are depressed and you try to hide it no one cares but when they do they treat you so much differently. its like they thin they can fix you. its almost like a person with cancr getting told by a person with no cancer, That the tumor that they have is just a small bump that they will be fine in a couple of hours. But in reality the person with cancer has maybe 3 weeks to live.Im sick of getting treated like a lost girl. Like i'm some misfit toy.

Today seems like a nicer day so i go out and get some fresh air i guess. I might as well befor my aunt maked me. So i grab my purple sweat shirt that has my instrument written down on it. I play the drums. i guess thats why i was pulled into ashton so much until he turned into a bastard.

I walked out into our backyard which is the beach. The sand was warm was sft on my feet. The wind felt so good on my face. I walked down the beach. The sand was wet and the ocean waves were reaching in and out. Once i had gotten to the town ocean pier. I went to the end of it and sat down. My feet had dangled down as i just watched the ocean in front if me.

I was sitting here maybe an hour when someone sat next to me

"Hey" I looked to my right to see Micheal.

"Hi" i waved

"SO how have you been?" He looked out to the horizon and dangled his feet also

''Fine'' I looked back out to the waves and the fishermen

"No i need to know the real shit" he said

" well i don't want to be here any more, i Wish that i died i wish luke didn't make me fail"

Notes