Reagan's POV


The stylist curled my hair to a tee and did wonders with makeup. I usually didn't go too crazy on the makeup, but tonight was special. It's not like I hadnt performed before, this was just extra special. It was a hometown performance. Plus, my ex and my current boyfriend were both here, which meant I had to step up my game. I couldn't just be mediocre in front of them.

Marc was checking his hair in the mirror.
"You look cute," I told him.
He rolled his eyes, "I'm sorry I can't same the same to you,"
"Ouch," I pouted.
He laughed, "I love you Rea,"
"Love you too Marky," I scrunched my nose up.

I decided to go out to the side wing of the stage and watch the performances. I was going to make my appearance in the middle of "Blame" as a duet with Calvin and then I would continue from there with marc. After me was Iggy, and after her was 5sos. I didn't know whether I wanted to watch them or not. They were my friends, and Calum and I didn't end on the worst terms. I held no hatred or contempt towards him.

But still. He is my ex. I should distance myself from him as much as possible right? That would make sense. Especially when nick was here. He knew that Calum and I dated. He was cool about it all though. He was really laid back anyway. But it's different when your ex is actually in the building. I would understand if he didn't want me to talk to Cal. I would feel the same way if his ex was here.

I felt soft hands cover my eyes, "guess who!"
I giggled, "uh...Izzy?"
The hands were removed and I was spun around to face my best friend.
"You're here," I smiled.
She nodded, "I wouldn't miss it for the world boo,"

We hugged for a moment. She pulled back and looked me up and down.
"Damn," she smirked, "you look good,"
I blushed, "uh thanks,"
She giggled, "I still can't believe you're this shy,"
"Leave me alone," I mumbled
She laughed and rolled her eyes playfully, "oh fine,"

~*~

"Reagan?" Someone asked

I turned. A chill ran up my spine because I knew whose voice that was. My eyes landed on Calum. He was standing in the doorway, his hands shoved into his pockets. I could tell he was nervous. It was honestly weird to see him nervous around me. I don't think he was ever nervous around me before we were dating, and certainly not after.

"Hi Calum" I greeted quietly, "how are you?"
An emotion I didn't quite catch flashed through his eyes before he looked to the side.
"I'm alright," he answered, "you?"
"I'm good," I replied honestly, "you seem a bit off Cal,"

His eyes hardened, "I'm fine,"
He seemed slightly annoyed at my observation. I could tell by the edge in his tone. It was quite rough.
"Okay," I held my hands up in defense, "well, uh good luck tonight,"
He huffed, "thanks,"
I turned and went back to fixing my hair. I could still see him through the mirror. He was still in the
doorway, watching me sadly.

"Calum," I said softly as I turned, "why else did you come to see me?"
I knew it wasn't just to say hi. He would've left by now if it had been.
He sighed, "I just missed you Rea. We haven't talked in over a year,"
"Well you know why," I pointed out.
"I didn't mean for it to happen Rea," he defended, "I was tired and already annoyed. I just didn't want you to be so far away from Australia,"

"I get that Calum, but I finally got into the college I'd been working for since I was little. You know how many music lessons I took, how many times I stayed in while everyone went out so I could keep my grades up high enough.i wasn't going to let that pass," I explained, "you just seemed like you didn't want me to follow my dream,"
"I always wanted you to Reagan," he looked down, "it was just hard for me. I already missed you so much, and I couldn't stand the thought of you going off to college and meeting all these new people,"

"Why?" I whispered
"Becuase I was scared," he growled, "I was scared that you would've found someone better. Someone who would be around all the time unlike me."
"Calum you know I wouldn't have done that!" I replied, "I always loved you, I never even thought of anyone else!"

"Yeah well that's not how it is now is it?" He snarled
I stared at him in shock for a moment, "that's not fair Calum!"
"What? It's true," he scoffed, "I saw you with him, didn't take long,"

"Don't you dare come in here and pretend like I just moved on like that," I pointed my finger at him, "I waited months, trying to get over you, and it has been the hardest thing I've ever done."
He just stared at me for a moment. There was some look in his eyes that I just could take. My hands hung limply at my sides.

"I need to go," I mumbled.
I pushed past him, and he realized that I was running.
"Reagan wait!" He called
"Leave me alone Calum," I called without looking back, "I don't want to see you anymore,"

God no. I can't. I can't still miss him! What am I doing with my life? I thought that I had finally gotten over him. But no. Of course he had to come waltzing back into my life and make me absolutely nuts again! I didn't know what I wanted to do at the moment. I wanted to cry. I wanted to go home. I wanted to do anyway BUT perform anymore.

"Reagan!" The stage help called, "you're on in 5,"
I turned and went to the side of the stage, looking out. Calvin was out there playing "summer". I peeked out and saw izzy in the crowd, jamming out. Hands wrapped around my waist and I could smell the familiar scent of nicks cologne.

"Hi baby," he mumbled, kissing my cheek.
I had managed to keep myself from crying, and the darkness hid the slight flush ness of what could have been-aka my crying. I was glad, because I didn't want nick to get suspicious. He would know right off the bat that it had something to do with Calum.

"Hi nick," I placed my hands over his larger ones. He smiled and were danced together playfully. I was giggling as I almost missed my cue.
"I gotta get on stage!" I squealed,
He laughed and let me go, I made it on just in time. Whew.

I sang the lyrics in place for John Newman, who wasn't at Jingleball. Calvin and marc were doing a little duo at the DJ table. It was something that the audience didn't expect, and I had a lot of fun. After that, we got to move onto our songs.

I sang Strangers, then Surrender, and last of all.....I can't stop drinking about you. The last one wouldn't have been one I chose to perform here, for obvious reasons, but it was the top selling song on the album. Management forced me to play it.


No ones gonna care like I do.
And I can feel it in the way that you breathe.
I know you dream of her while you sleep next to me.

I can't stop drinking about you.
I gotta numb the pain.
I can't stop drinking about you.
Without you I ain't the same.
So pour a shot in my glass and I'll forget forever!
So pour a shot in my glass cause it makes everything better!

Darlin tell me what more can I do?
Don't you know that I was meant for you?
You say I feel like heaven on earth,
But You'd never know what heaven was if it wasn't for... her.

I can't stop drinking about you.
I gotta numb the pain.
I can't stop drinking about you.
Without you I ain't the same.
So pour a shot in my glass and I'll forget forever!
So pour a shot in my glass cause it makes everything better!

I can't stop drinking about you.
I can't stop drinking about you.
No ones gonna love you like I do.
I can't stop drinking about you.
I can't stop drinking about you.

So pour a shot in my glass and I'll forget forever!
So pour a shot in my glass cause it makes everything better!
No ones gonna love you like I do.


The lights went dark when the last line left my lips. I could still see the lights of the cellphones in the audience. I could still hear the roars of the crowd. I could still feel the pain in my heart. But it felt good now, because I felt like I was finally getting out what I needed to say. I was finally telling Calum how I actually felt. I wasn't okay. And a part of me prayed that he got the message.

~*~

Me and izzy were jamming out to Iggy on the sides. Nick was off, busy with his hosting job. We were having fun, we knew all the lyrics to her songs. Sure, I liked EDM, but I was also a hiphop/rap junkie and I could recite raps from drake, eminem, iggy, nicki, lots of other too.

But then iggys performance came to a halt. She came off stage and greeted us. She complimented my performance, which was really cool to hear. I mean, iggy azalea told me that my performance has great. That didn't happen everyday.

We were talking as the boys were going on stage. I looked over to the side and saw them all peeked over at me. Michael stuck out his tongue, Luke grinned incredibly wide, and Ashton crossed his eyes. I laughed, I love those guys. Calum looked over at me with a small smirk, which I was confused by. Why would he be smirking. We just got into another mini argument before I went on.

Nonetheless they went on. Izzy wanted to watch because she had never seen them live. So we stayed. They were my friends after all. They were all having so much fun, totally rocking out to rejects and what I like about you. But then they played a song I'd never heard,


You got a boyfriend
And he's a total loser
All your friends tell you that he's got no future
But they like me
Just saying

He barely takes you out
If he does he's late
And when the check comes he always makes you pay
I'd never do that
Just saying

You should leave him
'Cause it really makes me sick
Just saying, just saying
You don't need him
I'll help you get over it
Just saying, just saying
When you change your mind I'll be waiting
'Cause I'm better than him
Just saying
When you change your mind I'll be waiting
Just saying

Got a big house
He says he lives alone
But when I drove by I could see his mom was home
I got my own place (he totally lies to you)
Just saying

He says he loves you
But it's all an act
He's seeing someone else right behind your back
You know I'd never do that (he would never do that)
Just saying

You should leave him
'Cause it really makes me sick
Just saying, just saying
You don't need him
I'll help you get over it
Just saying, just saying

When you change your mind I'll be waiting
'Cause I'm better than him
Just saying
When you change your mind I'll be waiting
Just saying, just saying

You should leave him
'Cause it really makes me sick
Just saying, just saying
You don't need him
I'll help you get over it
Just saying, just saying

When you change your mind I'll be waiting
'Cause I'm better than him
Just saying
When you change your mind I'll be waiting
Just saying, just saying


Izzy just turned and stared at me, completely dumbfounded.
"Did-did your ex just write and perform a song about your boyfriend?"
"I think so," I mumbled face palming.
They came off stage, flipping me off playfully. Everyone except for Calum. He was still watching me with that weird look. I only entertained his gaze for a moment befriend looking away. I hope nick didn't hear that song.

Notes

Here! I hope you all love it! Is anyone mad at Calum? I feel like he's being rude and inconsiderate to her? Whataya say?

thanks for the feedback lovelies!
<3 fluffy5sos