When Our Lips Met

Ugly
Fat
Fag
Worthless
You’re nothing but a waste of space
Go kill yourself
Please go kill yourself
You’re disgusting
Die
I shot up from my bed with sweat dripping down my face. My heart was beating so hard in my chest I’m surprised it hasn’t jumped out yet. I glanced next to me and saw Luke still sound asleep. Then I looked at my clock and saw it was a little after midnight. Sighing I slowly got up from the bed careful not to wake him. When I was fully off the bed I grabbed my coat and left my house. I need some air.
I didn’t realize how much I hated being outside at this time. It was so dark, and really quiet and it just freaked me out. I feel like something could happen at any moment, especially when no one is around. All of the sudden I heard something behind me. I whipped my head around and saw nothing, absolutely nothing. I breathed heavily and continued to walk down the empty road. After a few minutes I heard something behind me again but this time closer than before.
“You know it isn’t safe for you to be out especially this late.” A voice said behind me. My breathing became heavy. That voice sounded so familiar. It’s like that voice at the back of my head that I’ve tried to get rid of but it just kept hanging there.
“Didn’t you hear me?” They asked. Instead of continuing to walk to try and get away from him like any other person I decided to turn around to see who the person was. I slowly turned around my breathing still heavy and when my eyes met the person who was less than a foot away from me my breathing stopped. It can’t be. No.
“Michael.” He breathed. His eyes showed shock and his froze in his spot when he saw me.
“Yeah.” I said.
“How are you?” He asked.
“It’s been shit since you know… But I have gotten better.” I trailed off.
Yeah, sorry about that.” He mumbled. I scoffed and turned around and began walking away not wanting to hear any more of his shit.
“Mikey I’m sorry.” He said. I stopped in my tracks and turned back around glaring at him.
“You’re sorry?” I snapped. “You made my life hell and all you have to say is sorry?” I asked. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders lightly.
“Well Mason. Sorry isn’t going to fix what you’ve done to me. You made people think that I was the only one in on that shit. They hurt me both mentally and physically because of what you told them and all you did was sit back and watch.” I said. “Did you ever truly love me? Or was everything we did together some big lie?” I asked. His gaze shifted from the ground back up to me and he pretty much growled at that question.
“Of course I loved you. I wouldn’t have done any of that if I didn’t love you.” He snapped. I chuckled bitterly and shook my head.
“You did nothing but put me through hell. I thought what we had was special to you but I guess it wasn’t if you were able to just throw it away that easily.” I said.
“I was just scared.” He told me. Oh fuck, now that set me off.
“You were scared?” I shouted. It was late at night and we were in the middle of the streets but right now I didn’t really cared. “Mason, I went into school terrified everyday because of what you did. People hit me. Some guys even threatened to kill me because “Gay people should go to hell” People threw things at me, talked about me, called me names. I have so many god damn scars on my body it’d take me days to count… I went through all this shit while you sat back and watched and you have the right to say you were scared?” I could go on for hours about this but I didn’t want to waste any more time on him.
“I’m sorry Mikey.” He sighed. His eyes showed so many emotions and his shoulders were hanging low and I almost forgave him. But I snapped back to reality realizing that he is the one that put my life through hell and I can’t forgive him for that.
“I can’t I really can’t. 3 years, I went through hell for three years and I can’t let the person who caused it back into my life. Especially when I’m finally getting better.” I said. With that I span on my heel and began to walk away. I didn’t cry, for the first time I didn’t cry and damn did it feel good.

After what seemed like hours, I finally made it back to my place and got back into bed with Luke. I laid down on my back and stared at the ceiling not able to sleep at this point. I heard Luke shuffle beside me and his heavy breathing stopped.
"Mikey." He whispered. "What time is it?" He asked. I glanced at the clocked next to me seeing that it had only been a hour since i left.
"Almost 1." I answered. He sighed and rolled over on his side.
"Are you okay?" He asked. I turned my head slightly to give Luke a nod and looked back up at the ceiling. I felt the bed move and soon Luke was laying on top of me, so instead of me staring at the ceiling I was staring at Luke.. not that I minded.
"Tell me what's wrong." He Said. I let out a sigh and thought for a minute. Was there really something wrong?
"It's not really that something's wrong." I replied. Luke raised his eyebrow and let the corners of his mouth lift up a little bit.
"Then what is it?" He asked. "I saw Mason." I finally said. His face showed confusing then his eye widened which told me he figured out who I was talking about.
"Your ex?" He asked.
"Yep." I said.
"So what about it?" He asked.
"I was able to talk to him without breaking down. I was able to say what I've wanted to say since I left school and I didn't burst into tears." I explained. Luke smiled bigger this time and cupped my face with his hand.
"Is it bad that I feel good? I mean I barely did anything. I just spoke my mind." I said.
"That's why you feel so good. You finally got this weight off your chest that you've had there forever. You shouldn't feel stupid for feeling the way you do right now." Luke explained. I smiled and leaned into his palm that cupped my cheek loving the feeling. I was surprised when I felt Luke's lips crash into mine but I kissed back immediately. Our lips moved together slowly and I felt Luke smile into the kiss causing me to do the same making it difficult for us to kiss. We ended up laughing together, his head laying on top of mine as we calmed down. Eventually he opened his eyes and smiled grabbing my hands that were by my sides and locked our fingers together before laying them on either side of my head.
"I love you." He whispered.
"I love you." I smiled.
"Let's go to sleep" He suggested. I nodded and Luke lifted his head from mine and laid his head on my chest sending chills through my body. It's been months a Luke still makes me feel this way, the same way he made me feel before we even started dating... I like that feelings.
Smiling I let my eyes close slowly and I was finally able to fall asleep. I wasn't tired earlier but I was suddenly tired and felt like I could sleep forever.

Notes