Zayn's POV

I don't even know what's happening right now. One minute I was so nervous to see Nora and the next I'm standing alone in my flat wondering what is wrong with me.

I thought that I had that book hidden. I should have just taken it with me and never let her see it. There was a housekeeper that came in a few times a month since I was gone and I'm sure that she found it and placed it with the books. I was going to give it to her eventually, I swear it. But the longer I kept it a secret, the harder it was to show her. I know it meant so much to her, I know she wanted to find it and I had it all along. I'm the reason she's upset.

What the hell did she even say to me? It's so distracting because it is sexy when she speaks Italian but I know she's upset with me. I know she wasn't saying the nicest things to me and I deserve it. Liam had called me and was getting overwhelmed with the triplets so I had to answer. We don't get to chat as much as we used to, I made it a silent vow to try and keep up with all their lives more so I couldn't ignore him. If I wouldn't have been on the phone then Nora wouldn't have been browsing the books. I could have just prevented all of this.

If I would have told her the truth.

I run my fingers through my hair and I'm just frustrated with myself. I can't just let her walk away. I grab my jacket and storm off after her, though I know she's long gone. I'm such a failure.

It takes more then a half an hour to get to her building and I literally take the steps two at a time all the way to the top. I pound on the door and don't even think about the noise or if her mom is sleeping. I don't even know if she came back her or if she went somewhere else. Jesus, my heart is just racing, I can hear it in my ears as I hear footsteps.

“Go home Zayn.” Nora is obviously still upset with me.

“Nora, please. Please let me explain.” I lean against the door and rest my head. God, it's been two months since I've been this close to her and now I can't even see her or be with her. All in a second it's over.

“I don't want to hear it Zayn. Go away.” She says again more forcefully.

“Please. Please Nora.” I can feel the tears well up in my eyes, she can't push me away this much this quickly. I can't handle this. I hear the locks click one at a time and the door slightly opens. I see her long brown hair before I see her face. She just sneaks her face slightly and glares at me. “Please let me in Nora.” I ask in hushed tones.

She opens the door and moves to the side to let me pass. She won't even look at me as I pass by her. I just want to hug her and kiss her but when I reach out to touch her she just backs away as if I'm filled with poison. She slams the door and I can't help but flinch at the sudden noise, the tension in the air is thick.

“Nora, I didn't mean to hurt you. I was honest when I said that I found the book on the train and I didn't see you again to give it back to you.” I sit on the couch and watch as she sits the furthest away from me.

“Then why didn't you give it to me when you saw me again? Did you follow me to the flower shop? You basically stalked me.” She crosses her arms and just glares at me.

“I don't know. I swear it. I came to New York after my divorce and I saw you on the train. All I wanted to do was talk to you but I was so nervous I just couldn't I saw you that next day and you had flowers, you left the book, I just assumed you were with someone. I know it's crazy. When I saw you again, when I came back, I couldn't believe my luck so I just had to talk to you. I had to meet you. I didn't mean for it to come across like this.” I cover my face with my hands, I can't even show her how embarrassed I am. From the outside it sounds so stupid.

“Why didn't you just give me the book Zayn?” Her eyes are wide, I know this is big for her.

“I don't know!” My voice suddenly louder then I had wanted it to be. “I didn't know that you and I would become anything, that we'd have this relationship and I didn't want to ruin it me showing you the book. I promise I wanted to give it back to you. But the longer I hid it from you the harder it was to tell you.” I stand and walk closer to her, reaching out for her hand. “Nora please.” She jerks her hand away from me.

“I can't believe you.” She tells me. “You lied to me.” She's breaking my heart.

“I didn't mean to. I swear it.” I would beg her for the rest of my life to forgive me.

“I just can't right now, I can't see you for a while. I just can't.” She stammers, moving her head away from me, looking at the floor and rubbing her eyes.

“Please don't do this Nora. I can fix this.” I promise her.

“Please just leave Zayn. God, just leave.” She stands up and walks away from me, leaving me wallowing in self pity in the living room.

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I leave after five minutes, just pure shock is in my system right now. It can't be all over. We've come too far and overcame too much then to let this book get between us. I understand she's upset and she has every reason to be. But she wouldn't even listen to me. She didn't even want to.

I'm surrounded by hundreds of people as I walk around and I feel so alone. This is not how I had planned for things to go. My life seems to never go as planned. Usually I don't mind it, usually an uneventful life is boring but sometimes that's all I wish for. I'm literally just walking to nowhere. I just got back to New York City a few hours ago. I'm exhausted, I just want to go to sleep, I just wanted to sit and relax with Nora. But she pushed me away faster then I could have ever imagined.

I somehow reach my building, apparently my body just knew where to go as my mind is just dead right now. I trudge to the elevator and find myself face first on my couch as soon as possible.

Isn't it crazy how life can change in an instant?

How things never seem to work out like you want them to? Looking back maybe I should have stayed in the band longer. I should have kept up with my friendships better. I should have kept up with my family more. I feel like I should have never married Perrie. We were too young, everything went to quickly. I was wrapped up in what I wanted, I just wanted love . That's all anyone ever wants isn't it? Everyone just wants love. They want to know that someone has their back, that someone will be there for them no matter what. That someone will be there when you go to sleep and that someone will be there when you wake up. It's human nature.

I move my head to the side, still laying on the couch. I just hate this feeling. A feeling that I brought on myself.

I feel my phone vibrate as all the nerves bundle in my chest. Maybe she's calling me, maybe she'll listen. I squirm to get it out of my pocket as I see my mum has called me instead. I bite my lip and ignore it for now. It's rude but I'll call her when I'm in a better mood. What am I going to do now?

When she rings again I decide to just answer it, she usually doesn't call me more then once in a row unless it's necessary.

“Hey mum.” I mutter letting out a breath.

“Zayn!” Her voice is urgent as I sit up quickly. “Oh god, Zayn.”

“What's the matter?” I ask? I was wrecked with nerves before but now it's worse.

“It's Doniya. It's the baby.” She starts and I don't even know what to think.

“Are they okay? What happened?” She's not due for another six weeks, not until the middle of February. It's early January.

“I don't know, her water broke, her and Asad rushed to the hospital but this baby is coming Zayn. They can't stop it.” Her voice is full with terror. “Can you come back?” She asks.

“Mum.” I start, I want to fix things with Nora but I don't really want to involve her. “I'll come. I'll come.” Family has to come first doesn't it? I don't want to leave, I just got here but this is a baby. This is my niece.

“Oh thank God. I have to go, she's about to have her.” I haven't even unpacked, I just grab my bag, my passport and call to make flight arrangements as I leave. I find Nora's number and of course she doesn't answer.

“Nora, I know, I know you don't want to talk to me and I understand but I have to go home. Doniya is giving birth six weeks early, everyone is concerned, I have to go. Please, please call me. I'm so sorry.” I take a deep breath. “I love you.” I can feel my lips quiver as I just hang up and rush to the waiting taxi.

Notes

Hey everyone!! hope everyone had a nice time away from the story. Sorry it took me so long to update, I babysat six children under the age of 11 for the weekend then went to the beach on Sunday with my parents and brothers. I would have loved to stay more but I guess my parents have to work. :)

How is everyone liking the story? Seems like drama after drama right now but it's all part of my master plan! I hope you're all enjoying your summer so far. Since I've been gone I haven't replied to any messages so I apologize to anyone who has sent me anything!!

Have a great day!

xoxox