My Light

Nora's POV

I wake up to a cold wind coming in from the window. I had thought we shut it last night but from the events that had happened as soon as we came to my room, the open window was our last thought. Instead of getting out of the bed and closing the window, I pull the covers up around my shoulders and snuggle up closer to Zayn whose back is facing me.

All of his tattoos pop against his smooth, tan skin. He's gotten more since the end of One Direction, all black ones, none with any hint of color. Oddly enough the black roses that cover Perrie's cartoon like body are my favorites. I feel like it's odd how that happened, like the flowers somehow represent me. Its far fetched but it's odd how it's all worked out. I keep my fingers from touching his back and tracing his constellation tattoos, they're new too. They're simple yet beautiful. I don't know why I'm focusing so much on them but I know that it's something that I never thought I'd go for. Someone with so much ink, but I can't picture him without them, they're part of him. It's who he is.

I snuggle up as close as possible to him, sometimes I swear my body just craves to be close to him. When I see him in the morning, all sleepy, my body just aches to be next to him. I can't even explain how your body just takes over, not letting your mind decide anything. I leave a light kiss on the crook of his neck and close my eyes.

But just because I close my eyes, it doesn't mean that my mind has turned off. All I can think about is when Zayn will be leaving. I don't want to even think about when he's gone. I don't mind that we're not boyfriend and girlfriend but I don't even care to be honest. It's just a label. I don't need a label to know that we're happy. I mean, out of three hundred million plus people living in the United States, he's here with me. With little Nora Conti from Manhattan.

I could wake up to him everyday. I seriously think about waking up to him every morning and just traveling the world with him. Maybe eventually having children. Little Zayn's running around. The thought of it making me smile against his skin. I don't know where we would end up, what we would be doing but to be honest, it doesn't really matter in a dream. It all works out in a dream. Sometimes reality is different.

I think of Nonna. She's getting bad and I can't even fathom what is to come in the next six months, in the next year when it comes to her. She's like my second mother. At times I got along more with Nonna then my own mother. I spent so much time with her that I can't imagine coming home from the flower shop and not having her sitting on her rocking chair. To be honest, I don't know if I can even keep the flower shop if she passes. I love that shop with all my heart, but in the end it's Nonna's and Nonno's. It's their memories and their love that built that place and I'm just maintaining it. Meaning that if something happens to Nonna, I can't be there. I don't know what I'll do but I can't be in that shop without thinking of them constantly. It was difficult enough to work here when Nonno died but if Nonna dies, it will be my end.

“Good morning.” Zayn gruffs from his side of the bed. His voice rough with sleep.

“Hi.” I whisper as he turns on his back and places his arms behind his head.

“Jesus its cold in here.” He quickly moves his arms down but not before he pulls me in closer to his body, kissing my hair. This is what every girl wants, every morning. Someone who will love them no matter what.

“Yeah, we didn't shut the window.” I point out as Zayn laughs.

“I think we were a little distracted.” He laughs a little more, squeezing me gently.

I just wish he didn't have to leave. I can't even breath thinking of when I won't see him every day. I feel like it will feel like a break up, even though it's not. I'll feel like it. We won't get to talk as much as we usually get to, we won't see each other, we won't get to touch each other, we won't get to just be together. A whole ocean apart.

“What are you thinking about?” He whispers.

“Just when you leave.” I start, turning slightly and propping myself up on my elbows.

“Are you worried?” I feel like this conversation is a constant struggle, it's brought up constantly between not just myself but he brings it up as well.

“I don't think so. It's just such a really long time.” I finagle the covers up over my shoulders as Zayn pulls a loose strand of hair between my ear, his fingers lingering just a little longer on my chin.

“It will go quickly.” His voice still rough with sleep. God, it's sexy. I close my eyes quickly to try and not get distracted from this conversation. “You'll be busy, I'll be with family, we'll chat as much as possible and when I come home everything will be peachy.” I chuckle at the use of his vocabulary, peachy. And then the word home. When he comes home. He didn't say when he goes home he said when he comes home. Talking about New York.

“You think of New York as your home?” I ask quickly, without even thinking. I study his reaction, looking to see if it was a joke or he misspoke. A slow smile creeps on his lips.

“Yeah.” He turns his head as if he's embarrassed. When he comes back to me, I notice his cheeks do have a pink tint to them.

“Really?” I drop my chin just a little bit still shocked at his admission. He's always been home is England, home is where my mom, dad, and sisters are. Now home is here?

“Well yeah.” He turns to his side and props himself up with his elbow, kissing the side of my mouth slightly. “I love you.” He shrugs and laughs, turning his face to the mattress. It's seriously so cute that this conversation is making him uncomfortable but his low grumble and his sly smile is so sexy. “I just want to be where you are. I mean, I love my family but they're not you. You and I have a different relationship then they do obviously. I feel like things are different with you, like I know they're different.” He explains, lazily running his fingers across my back.

Here's the thing about Zayn, he constantly amazes me with his words. The way he speaks, the words he chooses, the way he conveys his message just fills the room with feelings. If that even makes sense. He's aware of of how I'm feeling like all the time and just says the right thing at the right time. Any questions and thoughts I have always vanish when he speaks and explains things to me.

“I love you.”

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“I've got to go.” We must have fallen asleep again as I wake from my haze, not quite sure if his words were real or just a figment of my dream land state. “Nora.” His voice reminds me to wake up and look towards him. He's all dressed, ready to leave, laying in bed.

“Why didn't you wake me earlier?” I ask.

“You looked peaceful. I didn't want to make you crabby.” I nod, knowing it's the truth. I'm a little grumpy when someone wakes me up. “I've got to head out, but I'll meet up with you tomorrow?” He asks and I nod. I feel the bed shift as he rolls off of it, squeaking just a bit when he sits up and stands. I watch as he puts his jacket on, running his fingers through his hair. His hair is constantly changing too, he decides to grow it out one day, then next he shaves it short, he always says he just gets bored with it. He leans down on the bed and kisses my cheek, looking at me with that small smirk that always sends me over the edge. “I love you.” He rubs his thumb across my lips slowly. I don't understand why I'm so sleepy, just this motion makes me so relaxed that I feel like I could sleep for the rest of the Sunday.

I groan just a little bit, turning to my stomach. “I love you.” I reach my hand out haphazardly, just like a shot in the dark even though it's light outside. I'm sure it's already the afternoon actually. I watch as he stands, grabs his bag and throws it over his shoulder effortlessly, looking back at me briefly to give me a wink and walk out of the room.

Closing my eyes I decide that it's obvious that I need more sleep.

Notes

Hey everyone! Just a huge thank you to everyone that is still reading and sticking with me. When I started this story I knew it would be a struggle, and then the last two months have been nothing of what I expected. I'll be honest, writing this story has been a constant struggle, unlike the others. I will finish it because I've worked so hard on it so far, but the Zayn in my story isn't the Zayn in real life. I have big things coming that some of you probably won't like, some of you might enjoy it but it's already written so it's happening! I'm going to try and update as much as possible so we can finish My Light. :)

So once again, thank you for all the votes, subscriptions, comments and reads. Love you all!

xoxoxxo