Timing is Everything (Liam Payne)

'Were not in Kansas anymore Toto' is the first thing that pops into my head. I sit there on the bed, legs hanging off the side trying to get my bearings. 'Focus' I tell myself, while closing my eyes.I open them. First thing, I'm pretty sure this isnt the bedroom I first laid in. I turn around and look at the guy who is still asleep, check his pulse, still alive, dont know him. I decide to get up and check the rest of my surroundings. Upon opening the door, I am sure I am not in the same house I went to sleep in. I shut the door. Where are my clothes and wear is my clutch, my phone is in it. I look around the room and the adjoining bathroom, nothing. Stay calm. Freaking out will not help things, but it appears I am about to totally loose it. Second thing, my phone. How am I supposed to call anyone if I dont have a phone and Thirdly, I know no ones number off the top of my head. Right now, I just hope I am still in London.
How did this happen? I sit back down on the bed and try to regain some parts of last night. Nothing. I remember going to the party. I remember getting dizzy and I remember finding a bed and laying on it. Everything else is non existent.
I go to the closet and see if there are any clothes I might could wear. Men's clothes. Next the dresser. I am able to find some sweat pants and a t shirt, I dress. I re open the door and look around. It also, is a very large house, its just not the one I went to last night.
Where is Liam?
I walk down the hall and to the staircase and decend it. There was a party at this house last night also. Everyone I find is still asleep also. The grandfather clock in the hall tells me its 7:10 AM, everyone will be asleep for some time. I look at everyone, hoping I'll recognize someone and soon.
I find my way to the kitchen and there on the bar is a cell phone. I grab it and thankfully there is no lock on it. I pull up the contacts to see if Lliam's number is in it. Negative. I keep scrolling. I almmost jump for joy, Niall Horan. I click it and wait. Voicemail, as if I thought he would answer. I decide to leave him a text, but this is not my phone. I give a brief text explaining its me, please call me. I take a seat on one of the bar stools and start going through the apps. Google, Google maps, lets see where I am. Thankfully I am still in London. I now know where I am, but where am I? I find a cab company and call them, I do know Liams address. While waiting on the cab I continue to look at who is asleep and find my dress, on another girl. How the hell did that happen? I look around her for my clutch, not there. I decide to wait on the cab outside, thankfully it is not raining.
The ride back to his place takes a while. I just want to know what happened last night. I tell the cabby to wait while I go get money. I ride up the elevator hoping I have not stepped into the twilight zone. I knock. A little louder. The door opens and I'm swept off my feet by Liam in a frantic response to seeing me. He's almost crying, no need, I cry enough for the both of us. I tell him I have to pay the cab, he runs down and does it for me.
When he comes back in he embraces me and wont let go.
"Please tell me what happened last night, I dont remember anything" I look to him, pleading.
"Are you all right?" Hes looking me over.
"I guess I am, I dont know"
"You got slipped something. Did your glass ever leave your sight?"
I'm thinking, thinking is hard to do this morning. "Maybe? I sat it down in the bathroom . . ." I remember the girls doing lines on the counter. But why would they slip me something. I tell him this.
"Come on, youre getting blood work done. Were going to the hospital. We need to find out what you were slipped, in case something needs to be done." He stops breaathing and looks at me "Were you raped?"
"I dont know. I dont think I was. I dont feel as though I was."
"Definately going to the hospital. Whose clothes are those?"
On the way to the hopsital I explain to him everything from the moment I woke up to present.
We arrive and the emergency room is packed.Being famous has its perks. We are rushed back into a private room. A doctor comes to us, we explain and blood work is drawn. A nurse comes in and Liam is asked to leave so a rape kit can be done also. I start to cry. I cry the entire procedure. By external analysis, it does not appear that I have been raped, the doctor explains but other tests were preformed to be sure. After I redress, Liam returns and consoles me.
I just want to go home. Home, my home. Crawl up in my bed and sleep.
We arrive back at his flat, I shower and get dressed.
"Liam, I have to go home, I cant." I say this I'm putting things in my suit case. "This life style is not me. I just cant. I have to go." I'm talking through tears. He stands there stunned.
"Stop, look at me." I look up at him, "I'll get the jet, but I'm not leaving you in this state your in. I'll take you home. You finish packing, I'll make some calls." He leaves the room getting on the phone then returns, grabbing a bag and starts throwing clothes in it. "The pilot is meeting us there".
I walk through making sure I have everything and look around, it was all fun. What if thats all this is, fun. We ride in silence to the airport.
I sleep the entire flight and wake up to pilot announcing our arrival. I think my body is in shock. Mentally I'm still here, the memories still play, the horror of not knowing where I was or how I got there, still very real and replaying in my mind. I dont remember the ride home, I just know I'm standing at my door.
I immediately go and take a shower. I exit and hes sitting on the bed waiting for me, my clothes beside him. He helps dry me off and gets me dressed. He pulls down the covers and help me in, pulls off his jeans and shirt and climbs in behind me. He kisses my temple and tells me to go to sleep.
I dont know how long I sleep, when I awaken, he's still there, talking quietly on the phone. He smiles at me when he sees me awake.
"That was the hospital. Your tests came back. There was no evidence of semen or assault so you were not raped but you were slipped GHB and quite a bit of it."
I am some what relieved but why me? I lay back down. He lays behind me, propped up on one elbow with his other arm pulling me close.
"I'll stay here as long as you need me or want me".
"What's today date?"
"The third why?"
"I have to go back to work tomorrow"
"Are you sure you're ready? I mean, you have just gone through something pretty traumatic"
"Yes, I need to. I have to get back to normal and get my mind off of it, this."
He sits up not quite understanding what I"m talking about.
"I love you and your ways, but I can not do that life style. Going to parties not knowing if I'll know who I am the next day or what I did the night before. That is not me. I like safe. I like knowing who I am with or surrounded by. Safe is good. If 'this' is to continue, I cant do the parties. You can go and do your thing, you're you, you're going to come out allright. I am a nobody, I dont matter. I'm just a face, a body. It doesnt matter that I came in on your arm, they dont care."
"I like my life. I love you in my life. But that, no. If that is something you have to do, then you can do it with out me. Do not expect me to join you in those adventures. That was not fun."
He's kept the same look on his face the entire time I spoke.
"I wish you didnt feel that way, but I understand."
He gets up and leaves the room. I hear him on the phone.
"My car is on the way. I'll call you later."
He leaves. I have hurt him, but saved myself.I reach over and set my alarm. I lay down and cry myself to sleep.
My love just walked out the door.

Notes

uhmmm, yeah. Wow.

I cried writing this.