Basic Space
Chapter 28
Addie’s POV
“He doesn’t like Calum” I say. Mikey has his arms wrapped around me. Calum and Aggie still haven’t stepped through the front door.
“What do you mean” Mikey asks. I pull back and look at Mikey’s blue eyes. He looks as if he is searching his head to say something, help me somehow. I wish he could.
“Calum went against him. He wanted to drive me home and Calum didn’t let him. He hates that” I say. My voice is a bit hoarse. “Where is he?!” I stand up, just as I hear a car outside. My heart stops a little bit. Mikey gets up and takes my hand in his, giving it a little squeeze.
We hear the door being unlocked, and then Aggie and Calum come in. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding in, and hug Aggie.
“Snap out of it” She whispers to me. Her face is unreadable. No sign of the anxiety or fear she’s been having these two days. I think she was just waiting for him to show up.
She manages to convince Cal and Mikey to leave and they look at me. I give them a nod and both of them take a turn to hug me. Calum lingers longer in the hug and then they leave. They don’t really go far. Both of them go at Calum’s and tell me to call them if we need anything.
And as we are sitting in the living room, both of us trying so hard to pay attention to some stupid TV Show on MTV, the doorbell rings.
Aggie looks at me. I can’t read any emotion from her. She stands up and walks to the door. I follow her with my gaze and then I hear the front door being opened.
“Hello, Agatha” I hear his voice. Every hair in my body stands, as the uneasiness settles in me.
“Tom” She says and then I hear the door close. Two sets of footsteps near the living room and then I finally see them enter.
“I waited for you in front of your school. You never showed up” He says, and then glances at me. I look away. Damn it.
“I came home earlier today” She says.
“Why?” He asks, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Aggie’s back is turned to me, so I can’t really see her expression or reaction.
“Because I felt like it” She says. I am impressed.
He chuckles, but I don’t think he believes her. He then walks around a bit, looking around the house.
“Pretty nice place you got here” he says, walking to the kitchen. Aggie turns her head, and I see how calm she is. She gives me a strict look, as if saying pull yourself together. I nod, and get up to follow her into the kitchen.
“How about you girls make me some lunch. I’m starving” He says and then passes both of us, heading to the living room. I look at Aggie and she goes to the fridge, opening it.
“Calm down” She says to me. I nod, and take a deep breath. She takes out cheese, peperoni and mayo, as I cut two pieces of bread. We silently agreed that we are not going to put any real effort into this meal.
When we are done with the sloppy sandwich, we take it to the living room on a plate. Tom has sank in the soft couch, his feet, shoes still on, are on the coffee table. Aggie rolls her eyes before we put the sandwich in front of him.
“You call this a sandwich?!” He mocks.
“If you want it better, then make it yourself” Aggie says. He jumps up, and I instinctively step back. Aggie doesn’t flinch. I could learn something from her.
“You need to tone down your attitude.” He says through gritted teeth taking a step forward. He is towering over her, but that doesn’t seem to scare Aggie. And it scares me how unfazed she is. They have a little stare down, when the front door opens.
“I’m home” My mom announces. She knows that he is here, most likely saw his car outside if nothing else.
“Is this how your mother is raising you?!” He says, scoffing.
“What’s happening in here?” My mom stands on the threshold of the living room, witnessing Aggie and Tom’s intense power of dominance competition.
“They are a real piece of work, Erica. I’m gonna have to have a word with you about that” He says, shaking his head, and stepping back.
And so it begins.
The day is painfully slow. He comments and critiques everything. He makes misogynistic remarks every other minute. My mom doesn’t protest, and me and Aggie are holding ourselves back. Dinner is no different. Mom makes chicken, and a separate dish with rice and vegetables with some kind of dressing for me. He comments on the food, and then he comments how not eating meat is unhealthy, and how it will be my mom’s fault when I get sick, and basically he blames her about everything – from the vegeterian food, to the way we are dressed, to how we act and the fact that I chose Calum to drive me over him.
“Who is he, anyway?” He turns to me. His eyes are narrowed and I feel small. I sit up straighter.
“He is a friend” I say, filling my mouth with as much rice as I can. I just want this dinner to be over.
“You don’t need friends like that.” He says, shaking his head, looking at his food “Disrespectful”
“How did he disrespect you?” I say. I’ve been bottling up my anger and annoyance all dinner. The smallest thing can make me explode. I’m like a shaken can of soda right now.
Tom looks at me, squinting, as if calculating something. I don’t drop my gaze, I just look at him expectantly.
“I think you should think twice before you speak to me in that tone” He says. He sounds calm, and his voice is low and threatening. I don’t flinch.
“Tom” My mom says. He turns to her. Of course she would take the blow. I hate it.
“What?! Do you allow them to talk to you like that? Does her male friends also disrespect you?! Is that how you live your life, Erica?! Do I have to teach you women everything?!” He says throwing his hands in the air. He turns to me, when my mom says nothing. “You are not allowed to be around that boy, you hear? If he ever disrespects me like that again…well let’s just say nothing good will happen to him. On the contrary.”
“I don’t think you are entitled to tell me who my friends are” I say. Wrong move. He slams his hand on the table and we all jump. Aggie, next to me, squeezes my knee under the table.
“What did you say to me?” He says in an even tone, daring me. I am so fed up.
“I said you are not entitled to tell me who I can and can’t be friends with. I make that choice in my life, no one else” I say, bawling my hands into fists.
“Is this how you raise them?!” He turns to my mom., his voice louder.
“What, independent and able to think for ourselves?! I think she is doing a pretty good job!” I say, before my mom can make an excuse about my behavior. She looks at me. Her eyes are tearing up. Aggie’s eyes are on me as well, and she gives me a little nod, and then narrows her eyes on Tom’s. She is on my side. For once.
“Be quiet! I am your father-“ He starts shouting, jolting up from his seat. He hits the table with his knee, lifting it a few centimeters, and then it slams down, making a loud noise.
“You are not!” I cut him off. Now he is really angry “You have to earn that title! You can’t call yourself a father just because you managed to impregnate my mom!” I cut him off standing up.
“How dare you interrupt me!” He shouts.
“I dare more than that.” I say evenly. I can literally see his eyes spike with anger and rage. My heart is beating really fast, adrenaline rushing through my body. He laughs.
“Enough!” My mom jumps up. Tom and I don’t drop our glares. I wouldn’t put it pass him to jump up like a freaking animal and attack me. “Dinner is over. Adelaide, go to your room!”
I would protest. I would tell her no, that I want to stand my ground. That I want him to leave. That this is not his house, and that he is wrong, about everything. But that would fuel him. It would make him think that I don’t respect my mom. In his eyes, obedience equals respect.
In my world, respect is earned. Something he’ll never have.
I stare at him for a couple of moments more, then I look and nod at my mom. And then I’m backing up and finally turn around and go into my room, locking the door behind me.
I feel bad about my mom – I know he is going to put the blame on her, and she’ll try so hard to defend me. But it just felt so good to tell him off.
After a minute or two, my adrenaline sets down, and when I look at my hands, they shake. I feel like there is no air in my room. The sudden rush of adrenaline took all my energy away, and suddenly I am so tired. I open the window and a gush of cold wind comes in. I welcome it, inhaling deeply. When my face becomes a bit numb from the cold air, I close the window and get in my pajamas.
I check my phone. I have a text from Calum.
‘What’s happening? I hear shouting’
Great. The neighbors can hear us. I call him back, because I don’t feel like texting.
“Hello” He answers on the first ring.
“Hey” I say “Is Mikey still with you?”
“Nah, he left an hour ago or so. What’s up?” He is trying to mask the worry in his voice.
I tell him about the brief confrontation I had with Tom, and the fact that apparently, I am forbidden with being friends with him.
“What the fuck, mate” He says finally.
“I know…I can’t stand him!” I say, and then I take a deep breath, composing myself. “Listen, I don’t want you to give me rides to school anymore” I say.
“What?! Are you seriously going to stop hanging out with me because he says so?” He says. I sense hurt in his voice.
“No, no no no! Of course not dude. I’m just saying, I don’t want him seeing you with me, because he is dangerous and he could hurt you” I immediately add. “I don’t want anything happening to you because of that tool”
“I’m not scared of him” He says. I don’t know who he is trying to convince, me or himself.
“Calum, this is not up for discussion” I say. He goes quiet. “We are still going to talk on the phone, and hang out in school, and, if I can, after school and on the weekends. Just…not in the morning in front of my house where he can see you. Okay?” I say and I just hear his low breathing “Calum?” I call for him.
“Yes, yes, fine.” He finally says. “Are you okay now, though?”
“Yeah I’m fine.” I answer. He exhales.
“Alright…Is your mom going to be okay?” He asks me. The one question I’ve been avoiding.
“I think so.” I say. “I don’t know” I say, truthfully.
“What about Aggie?” He asks.
“Yeah, I think she is gonna be fine.” I say. I hear someone going up the stairs which means my mom and Tom are now alone.
“I would suggest I come over, but given the new information we know about Tom’s feeling towards me…” he says. I can hear the smile in his voice, and the need to comfort me somehow, make me laugh.
“Yeah. This is like one of those bad romantic books where the girl is forbidden from seeing the guy, except we are not in love and I don’t really care what my “dad” wants me to do” I laugh. I hear his laugh, and then an awkward silence falls. Great. I had to make it awkward.
“Well, thank god you don’t listen to him” Calum finally says.
“Yeah…” I cross my legs under me.
“Alright then” He says. “Call me if there is anything, okay?” I mumble a yes and then we hang up.
I put on my pajamas, and brush my teeth. I do a bit of homework. From time to time, like, every 5 minutes, I stop whatever I am doing and listen in on mom and Tom’s conversation. They are speaking low in the living room, so all I hear is muffled voices.
A few times, I heard his voice rise, saying something like “How dare she?!” or just words like disrespect, and stupid, and empty headed.
Michael texts me a couple of times, asking how I’m doing, and Calum calls me before he goes to bed.
Lucy writes to me on facebook, making me laugh about random things, and I manage to fall asleep before 2am.
“He doesn’t like Calum” I say. Mikey has his arms wrapped around me. Calum and Aggie still haven’t stepped through the front door.
“What do you mean” Mikey asks. I pull back and look at Mikey’s blue eyes. He looks as if he is searching his head to say something, help me somehow. I wish he could.
“Calum went against him. He wanted to drive me home and Calum didn’t let him. He hates that” I say. My voice is a bit hoarse. “Where is he?!” I stand up, just as I hear a car outside. My heart stops a little bit. Mikey gets up and takes my hand in his, giving it a little squeeze.
We hear the door being unlocked, and then Aggie and Calum come in. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding in, and hug Aggie.
“Snap out of it” She whispers to me. Her face is unreadable. No sign of the anxiety or fear she’s been having these two days. I think she was just waiting for him to show up.
She manages to convince Cal and Mikey to leave and they look at me. I give them a nod and both of them take a turn to hug me. Calum lingers longer in the hug and then they leave. They don’t really go far. Both of them go at Calum’s and tell me to call them if we need anything.
And as we are sitting in the living room, both of us trying so hard to pay attention to some stupid TV Show on MTV, the doorbell rings.
Aggie looks at me. I can’t read any emotion from her. She stands up and walks to the door. I follow her with my gaze and then I hear the front door being opened.
“Hello, Agatha” I hear his voice. Every hair in my body stands, as the uneasiness settles in me.
“Tom” She says and then I hear the door close. Two sets of footsteps near the living room and then I finally see them enter.
“I waited for you in front of your school. You never showed up” He says, and then glances at me. I look away. Damn it.
“I came home earlier today” She says.
“Why?” He asks, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Aggie’s back is turned to me, so I can’t really see her expression or reaction.
“Because I felt like it” She says. I am impressed.
He chuckles, but I don’t think he believes her. He then walks around a bit, looking around the house.
“Pretty nice place you got here” he says, walking to the kitchen. Aggie turns her head, and I see how calm she is. She gives me a strict look, as if saying pull yourself together. I nod, and get up to follow her into the kitchen.
“How about you girls make me some lunch. I’m starving” He says and then passes both of us, heading to the living room. I look at Aggie and she goes to the fridge, opening it.
“Calm down” She says to me. I nod, and take a deep breath. She takes out cheese, peperoni and mayo, as I cut two pieces of bread. We silently agreed that we are not going to put any real effort into this meal.
When we are done with the sloppy sandwich, we take it to the living room on a plate. Tom has sank in the soft couch, his feet, shoes still on, are on the coffee table. Aggie rolls her eyes before we put the sandwich in front of him.
“You call this a sandwich?!” He mocks.
“If you want it better, then make it yourself” Aggie says. He jumps up, and I instinctively step back. Aggie doesn’t flinch. I could learn something from her.
“You need to tone down your attitude.” He says through gritted teeth taking a step forward. He is towering over her, but that doesn’t seem to scare Aggie. And it scares me how unfazed she is. They have a little stare down, when the front door opens.
“I’m home” My mom announces. She knows that he is here, most likely saw his car outside if nothing else.
“Is this how your mother is raising you?!” He says, scoffing.
“What’s happening in here?” My mom stands on the threshold of the living room, witnessing Aggie and Tom’s intense power of dominance competition.
“They are a real piece of work, Erica. I’m gonna have to have a word with you about that” He says, shaking his head, and stepping back.
And so it begins.
The day is painfully slow. He comments and critiques everything. He makes misogynistic remarks every other minute. My mom doesn’t protest, and me and Aggie are holding ourselves back. Dinner is no different. Mom makes chicken, and a separate dish with rice and vegetables with some kind of dressing for me. He comments on the food, and then he comments how not eating meat is unhealthy, and how it will be my mom’s fault when I get sick, and basically he blames her about everything – from the vegeterian food, to the way we are dressed, to how we act and the fact that I chose Calum to drive me over him.
“Who is he, anyway?” He turns to me. His eyes are narrowed and I feel small. I sit up straighter.
“He is a friend” I say, filling my mouth with as much rice as I can. I just want this dinner to be over.
“You don’t need friends like that.” He says, shaking his head, looking at his food “Disrespectful”
“How did he disrespect you?” I say. I’ve been bottling up my anger and annoyance all dinner. The smallest thing can make me explode. I’m like a shaken can of soda right now.
Tom looks at me, squinting, as if calculating something. I don’t drop my gaze, I just look at him expectantly.
“I think you should think twice before you speak to me in that tone” He says. He sounds calm, and his voice is low and threatening. I don’t flinch.
“Tom” My mom says. He turns to her. Of course she would take the blow. I hate it.
“What?! Do you allow them to talk to you like that? Does her male friends also disrespect you?! Is that how you live your life, Erica?! Do I have to teach you women everything?!” He says throwing his hands in the air. He turns to me, when my mom says nothing. “You are not allowed to be around that boy, you hear? If he ever disrespects me like that again…well let’s just say nothing good will happen to him. On the contrary.”
“I don’t think you are entitled to tell me who my friends are” I say. Wrong move. He slams his hand on the table and we all jump. Aggie, next to me, squeezes my knee under the table.
“What did you say to me?” He says in an even tone, daring me. I am so fed up.
“I said you are not entitled to tell me who I can and can’t be friends with. I make that choice in my life, no one else” I say, bawling my hands into fists.
“Is this how you raise them?!” He turns to my mom., his voice louder.
“What, independent and able to think for ourselves?! I think she is doing a pretty good job!” I say, before my mom can make an excuse about my behavior. She looks at me. Her eyes are tearing up. Aggie’s eyes are on me as well, and she gives me a little nod, and then narrows her eyes on Tom’s. She is on my side. For once.
“Be quiet! I am your father-“ He starts shouting, jolting up from his seat. He hits the table with his knee, lifting it a few centimeters, and then it slams down, making a loud noise.
“You are not!” I cut him off. Now he is really angry “You have to earn that title! You can’t call yourself a father just because you managed to impregnate my mom!” I cut him off standing up.
“How dare you interrupt me!” He shouts.
“I dare more than that.” I say evenly. I can literally see his eyes spike with anger and rage. My heart is beating really fast, adrenaline rushing through my body. He laughs.
“Enough!” My mom jumps up. Tom and I don’t drop our glares. I wouldn’t put it pass him to jump up like a freaking animal and attack me. “Dinner is over. Adelaide, go to your room!”
I would protest. I would tell her no, that I want to stand my ground. That I want him to leave. That this is not his house, and that he is wrong, about everything. But that would fuel him. It would make him think that I don’t respect my mom. In his eyes, obedience equals respect.
In my world, respect is earned. Something he’ll never have.
I stare at him for a couple of moments more, then I look and nod at my mom. And then I’m backing up and finally turn around and go into my room, locking the door behind me.
I feel bad about my mom – I know he is going to put the blame on her, and she’ll try so hard to defend me. But it just felt so good to tell him off.
After a minute or two, my adrenaline sets down, and when I look at my hands, they shake. I feel like there is no air in my room. The sudden rush of adrenaline took all my energy away, and suddenly I am so tired. I open the window and a gush of cold wind comes in. I welcome it, inhaling deeply. When my face becomes a bit numb from the cold air, I close the window and get in my pajamas.
I check my phone. I have a text from Calum.
‘What’s happening? I hear shouting’
Great. The neighbors can hear us. I call him back, because I don’t feel like texting.
“Hello” He answers on the first ring.
“Hey” I say “Is Mikey still with you?”
“Nah, he left an hour ago or so. What’s up?” He is trying to mask the worry in his voice.
I tell him about the brief confrontation I had with Tom, and the fact that apparently, I am forbidden with being friends with him.
“What the fuck, mate” He says finally.
“I know…I can’t stand him!” I say, and then I take a deep breath, composing myself. “Listen, I don’t want you to give me rides to school anymore” I say.
“What?! Are you seriously going to stop hanging out with me because he says so?” He says. I sense hurt in his voice.
“No, no no no! Of course not dude. I’m just saying, I don’t want him seeing you with me, because he is dangerous and he could hurt you” I immediately add. “I don’t want anything happening to you because of that tool”
“I’m not scared of him” He says. I don’t know who he is trying to convince, me or himself.
“Calum, this is not up for discussion” I say. He goes quiet. “We are still going to talk on the phone, and hang out in school, and, if I can, after school and on the weekends. Just…not in the morning in front of my house where he can see you. Okay?” I say and I just hear his low breathing “Calum?” I call for him.
“Yes, yes, fine.” He finally says. “Are you okay now, though?”
“Yeah I’m fine.” I answer. He exhales.
“Alright…Is your mom going to be okay?” He asks me. The one question I’ve been avoiding.
“I think so.” I say. “I don’t know” I say, truthfully.
“What about Aggie?” He asks.
“Yeah, I think she is gonna be fine.” I say. I hear someone going up the stairs which means my mom and Tom are now alone.
“I would suggest I come over, but given the new information we know about Tom’s feeling towards me…” he says. I can hear the smile in his voice, and the need to comfort me somehow, make me laugh.
“Yeah. This is like one of those bad romantic books where the girl is forbidden from seeing the guy, except we are not in love and I don’t really care what my “dad” wants me to do” I laugh. I hear his laugh, and then an awkward silence falls. Great. I had to make it awkward.
“Well, thank god you don’t listen to him” Calum finally says.
“Yeah…” I cross my legs under me.
“Alright then” He says. “Call me if there is anything, okay?” I mumble a yes and then we hang up.
I put on my pajamas, and brush my teeth. I do a bit of homework. From time to time, like, every 5 minutes, I stop whatever I am doing and listen in on mom and Tom’s conversation. They are speaking low in the living room, so all I hear is muffled voices.
A few times, I heard his voice rise, saying something like “How dare she?!” or just words like disrespect, and stupid, and empty headed.
Michael texts me a couple of times, asking how I’m doing, and Calum calls me before he goes to bed.
Lucy writes to me on facebook, making me laugh about random things, and I manage to fall asleep before 2am.
Notes
HEY GUYS!
SOrry for the inactivity. There has been a lot of things happening in my country, and on top of that, I have an English language exam tomorrow morning, so i've been really busy this week.
Nevertheless, here is a new chapter I've been writing for the past few days. Not my best, but I hope you like it.
Thanks for the support.
Love you,
Banana
rereading bc i miss this
4/28/17