Addie’s POV

Frozen, I sit on the couch, facing the door. Calum doesn’t move. Lucy doesn’t move. The only sound is the TV. The TV! I jump for the remote, trying to find It on the couch and turn it off. The house goes completely silent, apart from the repeated doorbell and pounding on the door.
“Erica!!” I hear his voice. It’s hoarse and harsh and sends shivers down my spine. Not the good kind.
“He can’t come in, Addie. I locked the door twice” I hear Lucy, trying to re-assure me. But I don’t believe her. He can’t come in now, not unless he breaks down the door, but he is here. It doesn’t matter that he is not inside. He is here.
“I need to get out of here.” I whisper. I say it more to myself than anyone else
“We can go to my place. I have a back door.” Calum finally speaks. I don’t look at him, I just nod, and as I do, the tears building in my eyes finally leak. Lucy gets up and quietly goes to the kitchen. Her phone is there.
Phone.
‘I have to call mom and Aggie” I say, searching for my phone.
“Hey” Calum says, or maybe he doesn’t I can’t focus. “Hey, Addie. Look at me” This time I hear him loud and clear. His hands are holding my face on each side, forcing me to look at him. “You’re gonna be okay. Come on” He says and stands up, giving me his hand. I take it and he doesn’t let go after I stand up. We walk in my room. I look for my phone on my bed and finally find it in the tangled sheets and pillows. I text my mom and Aggie the same message ‘He’s here’
Lucy slowly opens the door but then quickly shuts it and locks it.
“Get under the window” She whispers and pushes me and Calum. We don’t protest. We press our backs to the wall of window wall. The door handle goes down on the door, but it’s locked. We hear a curse word and then a knock on the window, as if checking if it’s opened. And then the footsteps lead away, back to the front of the house.
“Come on.” Cal says, and peers through the window. “He’s gone”
We try again – Lucy slowly opens the door, and we sneak out. I lock it and we quietly run for Cal’s back door. He unlocks it and we are in. Safe. And away from him.
Just as sit down on the ground, my phone rings. It’s my mom.
“Who is he and please tell me it’s your boyfriend Michael!” She sounds concerned and panicked.
“No. It’s Tom.” I say. I’m out of breath. I can’t seem to speak.
“Where are you? Is he in the house with you?” She says, and then curses a couple of times.
“No. Lucy and I sneaked out. We’re at Calum’s” I say. Lucy sits next to me on the ground, and shortly Calum joins. I can’t have them around me, so I go upstairs and wander in Calum’s bedroom. I don’t care. I just want to go away from here.
“Stay there until I come back” She says, and then it hits me, the inevitable predicament – we’ll have to go home sooner or later. And he won’t leave.
“What about Aggie?” I ask. “She left with her friends. I texted her, but I don’t know if she saw my text” I say.
“I’ll call her now. Okay? It’s going to be okay honey. We won’t let him ruin what we’ve built. Okay?” She says, but I don’t think she believes it. It’s not like we let him ruin our lives. He just does so without our permission. I say yes, just to re-assure her. Maybe if she thinks that I believe it, she’ll believe it as well. She says okay a couple of times more, and then tells me that she loves me before she hangs up to tell Aggie.
I sit on Calum’s bed.
“Addie?” Lucy comes in. She sits next to me and hugs me and I cry. And I can’t stop.

Calum’s POV

I sit in the living room, confused and scared. I don’t know anything about her father, but from this reaction, I don’t think it’s anything good. I don’t want to pry, so I let Lucy go upstairs on her own.
I laugh at the ridiculous notion, that if it was any other circumstance, I would be excited in more than one way to have Addie in my bedroom.
I sit, feeling useless. My mom comes back, and I tell her that Addie wasn’t feeling well, so I took her here so I can make her tea. A very stupid excuse, but I think she bought it, only because she talked to Lucy. Lucy explained that Addie wasn’t feeling well, but she wasn’t so ill that she needed to go to the hospital. And it was probably just a stomach virus, and that Addie’s mom was at work, another lie, and she didn’t want to be alone with Addie just in case anything happened.
She piled a lie after a lie and my mom swallowed all of it.
I went upstairs after mom and Lucy talked, and I say Addie sleeping in my bed.
“Lucy…” I say, she is sitting on the bed, her legs crossed. “What’s…what’s happening?” I ask. I am seriously scared.
“Addie’s dad is…not the best person in the world. In fact he can easily get the award for shittiest father figure/human being on earth.” She answers. Our voices are hushed, both of us not wanting to wake Addie up. I don’t think she is sleeping, though.

Addie’s POV

I lie with my eyes closed. I try to sleep. I feel tired and drained, but I can’t. And then Calum comes and asks Lucy about what’s going on, and Lucy gives him the short story – my dad is an asshole who comes and goes into our lives and likes to fuck them up. He treats my mom like shit and sometimes his friends come and stay in our house and harass all three of us.
She leaves out the details. It’s better that way. My aunt calls Lucy, probably checking up on her, and Lucy goes outside the room to talk on the phone. The moment the door closes behind her Calum sits where she sat, on the edge of the bed.
“Are you sleeping?” He asks me. I want him to think that I am. I don’t want to answer questions. But if I don’t talk I’m gonna go crazy.
“No” I answer shortly.
“I think he left” he says, glancing at the window.
“He’ll come back” I say.
“I’m sorry” He says. There is nothing to say, really. I sit up and start picking my nails. I don’t want to face him. He takes one of my hands into his, and squeezes it lightly. I smile.
“I’m sorry.” I say “I kind of invaded your house” I say, and laugh.
“Don’t you apologize, Elle.” I laugh at the stupid nickname.
“Stop calling me that” I say, putting a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Why?” He asks, smiling at me, trying to catch my eyes. I laugh lightly.
“Because it’s ridiculous” She says, finally meeting my gaze. She has an easy smile on her face, like a pinch of revilement has washed over it.
“It’s cute” He says, giving my hand another squeeze.
“Ughhhh” I groan. “Why, why, why, whyyyyy” I repeat, slightly hitting my head on the headboard. It hurts so much now. Did I give myself a concussion?
“Is it that bad?” he asks, a bit more serious now. I nod. He squeezes my hand again. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asks.
“I don’t know” I answer honestly. “I talked with Mikey about this one time…” I say, looking down.
“You don’t have to. I can call Mikey if you’d rather talk to him about it. I’m sure he’ll be willing to come ove-“ He is talking fast, I can’t follow his train of thought.
“No. Calum” I say, and then he looks at me. He looks as if he wants to do anything to help me, but he doesn’t know how. “I want to talk to you, I just don’t know how” I start. “I’ve never talked to anyone about this apart from my Aggie and my mom…and sometimes Lucy.” This time I squeeze his hand, and he gives me a little pulse back, and then Lucy enters.
“Well, my mom told me to call a cab and come home. She talked with your mom, and she is okay with you staying here until she comes back with Cal” She says, putting her phone in her pocket.
“I’ll drive you home” Calum says standing up and letting go of my hand. “I’ll be right back” He says to me. Lucy hugs me and then she is out.
I lie down on his bed that smells so much like him – detergent and and summer. He smells like summer. Who the hell smells like summer?!
I bury my head in his pillow, and I think I might’ve fallen in a light sleep when someone shakes me awake.
“You’re phone is vibrating” I hear Calum’s whispering voice. When I open my eyes, I meet his chocolate brown ones, and for a moment I am confused, but my memory doesn’t fail me. I take the phone from his hand. It’s Aggie.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Can you come home? I’m scared to be alone.” She says. She sounds scared.
“Is he there?” My heart jumps up.
“No. But he might come back, and I don’t want to be the one who greets him. At least not alone. Can you just please come? Please!” She says. I calm her down, and then I am getting up from Calum’s bed and searching for my keys.
“Do you want me to come over?” Calum asks? He is concerned, and stands awkwardly in front of me.
“No. I just have to deal with this” I say, putting the keys in my pocket.
“Hey” He says, as I go out of his room. I turn around. He looks so good in his worn out jeans and the Green Day T-shirt. “You don’t have to deal with this alone, okay?”
I nod and thank him, and then he walks me down anyway. His mom asks me if I’m feeling better and I say yes, and that my mom will be home soon, so I’m just going to go back to my room and wait for her. Calum walks me to my door, just in case. My dad, which I refuse to call my dad in front of people, because he is not a dad, so I call him Tom, is no where in sight.
“Call me if anything happens, okay?” Cal says, and I nod as I unlock the door. “Hey, Addie, look at me” I do. His gaze is intense – worried, scared and still a bit confused “Promise me you’ll call if there is anything. Okay?”
“Yeah.” I nod “I promise” I hadn’t realized that he has my hand in his. He gives it a little squeeze and I pulse back before I open the door and walk in.
Aggie has paled before I came in.
“Oh my god, it’s just you” She says, and hugs me. I haven’t had this much contact with Aggie since almost before we moved here.
Everything from that point goes in fast forward and at the same time in slow motion. Aggie and I talk about Tom, and then mom comes and the three of us talk about what should we do. Mom insists that we sleep somewhere else while he’s here, and I can see Aggie considering it, but I don’t even want to hear it. I am not leaving mom alone in a house with him. And I know that mom is relived to hear that from me. We agree that we will stick together. We also agree to lock the doors, and try to avoid any contact with him. Aggie and I agree to call mom every time we go somewhere so she doesn’t think that he kidnapped us, which won’t be a first. Well… he didn’t actually kidnap us, we didn’t know we were kidnapped until mom came to get us. Apparently he hadn’t told her that one of his friends was picking us up from school. We were like first grade, we were still kind of clueless about the situation, and we thought mom knew.
Lucy texts me, asking how I am, and Calum texts me once around midnight to say goodnight, and that I can call him even if it’s like 4 in the morning.
And then I am going to bed. I lock my door and close my window and mom and Aggie go upstairs in their own bedrooms. But I highly doubt either of them falls asleep.
I spend half the night up. I have a missed call from Mikey. They were probably hanging out tonight. I turn in my bed, again and again. It’s 4 am and I’m still staring at the ceiling. I grab my phone and text Calum.
‘I can’t sleep.’ He doesn’t reply. Of course he is asleep. I shouldn’t expect him to be up. If I really needed him, I would call him, but I can’t call him just because I can’t sleep.
My phone is vibrating. Calum.
“Hey” I whisper. I don’t know what’s it about turned off lights, but it always kind of makes me whisper.
“What’s up?” He says. His voice is hoarse, like he’s been sleeping. I am not surprised.
“I just…I can’t sleep. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t. So go back to sleep, we’ll talk tomorrow’ I say.
“No, no, no” He says. “Don’t worry about my sleep. How are you doing?” He asks. His voice is so attractive right now. I let out a deep sigh. “Did he come back?” He asks.
“Not yet” I say. “ But he’ll be here first thing tomorrow, and I my brain won’t let me sleep, because then the hours will fly by, and it will be morning and he’ll be here” I say. I don’t know if I’m making sense.
“What does he do? I mean, Lucy told me a little bit of the story, and I didn’t want to ask then…” he says.
“He is just…You know when you watch those movies where the husband is both emotionally and physically abusive towards his wife, but he doesn’t leave him for some reason? It’s like that, only my mom tries to leave, he just comes back to her. He traps her…”
“Why don’t you get a restraining order?” Calum asks.
“We tried” I say. “He lawyered up, beat us in court. And then he was all threats and shouting when he came back. Didn’t end that well for mom…” my voice trails off.
“So there’s nothing you can do?” He asks me.
“No…” I say. “I don’t think so…”
We sit in silence. And I realize that he is actually spending money on this phone call. And staying awake.
“You can go to sleep now” I whisper. I don’t want him to actually do it. But I don’t want him to feel forced to do stay up.
“Do you want me to come over? Or do you want to come over?” He asks.
“You can come if you want” I whisper again. He says he’ll be right here, and in less than 3 minutes he is knocking softly on my door. I open it and then he locks it behind him. He is wearing pajama bottoms and the Green Day T-shirt. He leaves his flip-flops on my floor and sits next to me on the bed.
“Hi” He whispers.
“Hi.” I whisper back, looking up at him. I move back a bit and he comes under the covers and props his head on his hand.
“How are you doing?” He asks, playing with my hair. It’s surprisingly soothing. I shrug. He rests his head on a pillow and looks at me. Our legs are lightly brushing, and this minimal contact makes me relax and my brain suddenly wants to shut down. So I close my eyes and let it shut.
All thought of Tom fly away, together with the worry and the fear. At one point I wake up slightly, and I realize I am wrapped in Calum’s arms, and I just snuggle closer to him, inhaling the scent of his shirt. And I associate the smell with something peaceful, and I drift into sleep again.

Notes

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