The cool rain continues to pour down on me as I walk through the city. Many other civilians had their dark umbrellas and raincoats and hoodies, but I had my bright red raincoat on with a white scarf to at least bring some color in my mood right now. Thank goodness Louis warned me about the rain before I came here, or else I would have been soaked to my bones with this rain pour.

Checking my watch, as I have been smart enough to leave my phone in the hotel room when I stormed out, it was a quarter past 6. I’ve been walking for about 3 ½ hours already, which is a personal record as I have never really walked that long before. Never did I have a reason to.

But after a few questions on what had led up to what happened in the photo, Harry had no words to explain himself after I asked him how long they had been in that position for, which was followed by his guilty face. So that was when I decided to leave, with a breaking heart when I realized I was not being followed.

If anything, that could have been the reason why they came late to the radio interview, now that I think about it. What he told me earlier could have been a lie. But how could he act so calm about it? Has this actually been continuing on for a while? I shake my head at the thought, I don’t want to go down that alleyway.

With the sunlight slowly fading out and my hunger building up, I decide it's about time to return to my hotel. I turn to face the way I came, but not remembering where I last turned. Taking my best guess, I look around see if I could find any buildings that resembled from the view of my hotel room. I was only able to find a gift shop that seemed somewhat familiar when I left, so I entered there.

The bell dinged above my head as I entered, the scent of candles filled the room. Heat and dryness hit me quickly once the door shut, relieving me of the cold outside. There was an elder woman behind the counter, reading a book. She looked up at me when the bell rung and smiled at me.

“Hello!” She greeted. I smiled back with a small wave, walking up to her. As I came close to her, she had a striking resemblance to Mrs. Parsons, but I know that she doesn’t travel as she gets airsick very easily.

“Hi, can you help me with directions?” I ask her kindly. She nods.

“Of course, you seem lost.”

“I am.” I admit.

“Hmm.” She gets up from her seat and walks around the counter to stand directly in front of me. “You seem familiar, do I know you?” I shake my head. “Are you sure?” I nod. She stares at me for a couple more seconds before snapping her fingers. “Ah, I got it. You must be Ms. Amber Rose Hudson, am I right?” She asks. I smile and nod. “You are the one that’s dating Harry Styles. I knew you from somewhere. I see you all over the tabloids.” She says, waving her hands in the air.

“That must be me then.” I somewhat smile now. Of course I’m everywhere. “Do you mind helping me find my way back to my hotel?” I ask her. She nods.

“Of course, of course.” I give her the name of my hotel, and says that I’m close, giving me the directions.

“Thank you so much.” I thank her, before walking out into the rain again.

I follow her exact directions and eventually see my hotel a couple blocks away. I really hope Harry left my hotel room, I just want to be on my own and not see him. I gave him over thirty seconds, and it was all filled with silence. Walking through the front door of the hotel room, I was immediately bombarded with screaming girls. They crowded around me, talking to me all at once.

“Girls, I would love to take pictures but right now I can’t.” I say before I sneeze. “And I think I’m getting sick… I don’t want you all to get sick either. Another day, I promise.” I tell them and they all awed at me before understanding and walking away.

I sighed and headed up to my hotel room, the door creaked slightly open. Great, he left the door open. I walk in and shut the door, checking to make sure it’s locked before removing my wet clothes and heading into my bedroom to find it all neat and clean.

I grabbed some new clothes and headed into the bathroom, his clothes were gone. I am now certain that he is indeed gone as well. I hang my coat and scarf nearby it and let it dry, removing the rest of my clothes in the process to take a warm shower. Once I finished I put on my newer clothes and one of the robes that room service no doubt left, and walked to my bedroom, closing the door behind me.

“Hey Amber. About time. I was getting worried that you got lost.” I hear a voice say behind me, making me spin and press my back against the door. Eleanor was sitting on my bed, texting on her phone without even looking up. I brought my hand over my heart.

“Jesus, El… You scared the absolute daylights out of me…” I breathe heavily. She looks up with a smile.

“Sorry.” She starts to laugh as she stands up, walking over to me and giving me a hug.

“It’s alright… What are you doing here, if you don’t mind me asking?” I ask once the hug parts.

“Well, I came to give you something that you left back at the boys’ hotel room from our shopping day.” She walked over to the discarded bag beside my bed and fished out one of the cardigans that I got, before placing it back in the bag. “I knocked on the door, Harry answered in a robe, wearing only his boxers, and you were gone…” She says, looking confused as she sits on the bed. “He refused to say anything and left with a mad face. You walked in later on soaking wet. I was sitting in the living room but you completely passed me. What happened?” I sigh and run my hand though my face.

“I don’t really want to talk about it, El.” I start, joining her on my bed.

“If you don’t talk, I will get either Louis or Liam in here and make you talk. So start squawking.” She moves one leg over the other in a sassy position. “Tell Mama Ella what’s wrong.” She says while patting the space next to her to come closer.

“Alright, fine.” I give in and scoot closer. She lets me lean on her shoulder as I start telling her what happened. “I got sent an image of him and Jessica in the lobby, kissing, even people from twitter have been trying to send me it, but I-” I start but she cuts me off.

“Wait, what photo?” She asks, already looking mad. I look around for my phone, finding it charging on my nightstand. It was at 87% so I thought that was good enough. I unplugged it and found the image, showing it to her.

“Whoa.” Was all she said.

“Yeah. I got it just as we made up for whatever happened last night at the bar, which I’m sure you know.” She silently nods, letting me continue. “I started to ask him questions, letting him talk and explain himself.” I explain.

Earlier:

“So, you left your phone in the dining room, went back to get it, Jessica somehow had it, and then kissed you, is what you are saying, that’s what happened?” I asked, looking up at him since he sat across from me.

“It’s all that happened, I promise.” He exhales unevenly, taking my hands in his and tugging me closer, taking me in an embrace. I nod my head slowly, feeling somewhat content with us, wrapping my arms around his torso.

“What did you tell her afterwards?” I ask. He doesn’t make a move and doesn’t say anything. “Did you say anything?” He doesn't respond. “Harry,” I pull myself away from him, him immediately reaching out for me again, but I deny it. My stomach is clenching up, and bad thoughts are going through my head, as pieces are connecting together, making everything more clear for me.

“Did… Did you let her kiss you?” I finally ask. He squeezes his eyes shut, running his hands through his hair, gripping it, which was giving me his answer of a yes. I shake my head slowly, my eyes tearing up.

“Wow.” I scoff, not believing this. “Really Harry?” I say quietly, slowly getting off the bed. “Really?” I say much louder, but he doesn’t say anything. “Did you kiss her back, Harry?” No response. “Did you?!”

“I just got caught up in the moment, alright?!” He raises his voice, finally looking at me.

“Oh, you got caught up in the moment?” I repeated in a smaller voice, not wanting to get complaints from other visitors that might be nearby, even though I want to scream. I squinted my eyes slightly and crossed my arms. “What moment?” I asked.

“A moment of just, being with someone. I missed you, Amber. The fact that you didn’t talk to me or tried to for a whole month made me go crazy. A whole month! When she kissed me, I got overwhelmed, and, I just couldn’t pull away. So… Yes, I kissed her back.” He admits, standing up as well. I shake my head slowly.

“Then you kiss your pillow, not your ex!!” I shouted, reaching for a pillow and throwing it at him, tears soon streaming down my cheeks. He catches it mid air and grips it tightly, but doesn't say anything, so I continue.

“I had to stay silent, it would have ruined the surprise if I did talk to you because I was so excited to see you. I knew I would have told you and I didn’t want to ruin it. It was hard for me too, Harry. Yet, you couldn’t wait one more day. No, not even a day, a couple more hours, Harry. You couldn’t wait anymore for me. It’s as if you were giving up on me.” I say, wiping some of the tears off of my face.

“I didn’t give up on us.” He says sternly, now standing directly in front of me, leaving the pillow on the bed.

“Did you think I could really stay away for so long?” I whisper. He only shrugs casually, making me sick. “Keep in mind that I've had a crush on you since 2010, so this is hurting me a lot more than you think.” I add. He doesn’t respond, so I ask my next question. “Was this this first time? Or have you done this before with her in this past month?”

“It was only then.” He answers.

“How long did you kiss her for, Harry?” I question him. “How long did you forget about me?” He finally looks down at me with a sad expression.

“Please don’t make me say-” He pleads.

“Answer me, Harry. I need to know, it’s only fair. You've already done it, just finish me off.” I say, not bothering to look up at him anymore, my heart is draining out.

“No, Amber. I don’t want to.”

“Harry, tell me.”

“You are going to-”

“Harry!” I shout, still looking at our feet. I can't find the courage to look him in the eye.

“Alright, almost a minute. It almost turned into a make-out session, but I pulled away.” He says quickly. I breathe in heavily, shaking my head. There’s my breaking point. I go to my suitcase and pull out some clothes to wear out. I need to leave.

“What are you doing…?” He asks slowly. I walk to the bathroom and he slowly follows, but I slam the door in his face so he knows not to enter.

“Amber.” He calls out through the door. I ignore him and his plea’s as I change into my jeans and t-shirt. I then walk out to my closet to find my shoes, jacket, and scarf.

“Amber, I’m sorry.” He tries, but I leave him there and continue my walk to the door. His arm taking hold of my wrist stops me just as I reached for the door knob.

“Harry-”

“Don’t walk out on me, Amber. This is why I didn’t want to say it. Just, please, don’t go.” He cuts me off. I don’t look at him as I shake my head.

“I don’t even know if you are sorry, you were perfectly fine before."

"Am-" He tries again but I cut him short.

"Happy One Month Anniversary, by the way...” I say, looking up at him. His eyes widen as realization hits. I keep my eyes with my feet as they carry me out, slamming the door behind me and walking out of the hotel into the cold rainy day. Alone.


“I walked out for a couple hours, I got hungry and then came back.” I said before sneezing again. “And I think I got sick in the process. So… Yeah. Here I am.” I shrug.

“Wow.” Eleanor says, tearing up. “Does that mean that you guys are…” She trails off, and at this point, I’m not sure.

"I mean, it’s only been over a full 24 hours since we became official, 1 month being together, and this is already happening." I bury my face. I didn't think relationships would be this hard to maintain, honestly.

“You know, I wouldn’t let this get to you.” She starts.

“Why?” I ask, picking up my head.

“Stuff like this can happen, especially when you become official. I don’t know if you remember the story from when Louis and I first started dating, some girl that I can’t remember the name of, she wanted to hang out with Louis shortly after we exposed ourselves, only to be drunk with him for the rest of the night. You can only imagine how broken I was when I found out. Even to this day Louis is still sorry about it.”

“But that was when you were already exposed, this was before I even met up with him.”

“Maybe she saw you, and went on from there.” She guesses. I shrug in response.

“Maybe.” I look down at my fingers, sighing. Her phone goes off, and she excuses herself to read the message, soon squealing with joy.

“Do you have a laptop?” I shake my head. “Alright. Pack some overnight stuff, because you are coming with me to my place for the night. You need some cheering up and I know how to do it.” She smiles, getting up and off the bed.

I comply and gather some overnight items before meeting her at my door. We head to the elevator and quickly pass by the girls that remain in the lobby before hopping in her car outside. The rain was lighting up, thank God.

“I like your car.” I mention as we put on our seat belts and pull out of the hotel.

“Thank you!” She says. Her phone goes off on her lap and she sighs. “Here.” She looks down for a moment to hand me her phone. “That’s Pear. Text her that I’m on my way home with you and to get ready on Skype..” She instructs me. I do as she says and respond to her, quickly getting a message back.

From: Pear:
Ahhh!!! Hello Amber!!!! <3

I don’t know if I can do this.

“What she say?” She asks, pulling a right turn.

“She said ‘Ahhh!!! Hello Amber!!!!’ With a happy smile and a heart.” I said, trying to impersonate her message, making her laugh.

“Alright. We’re just about there.” She says as we pull into a street off of the main road and eventually what would be considered her house. Her glorious house. We step out of her car and head inside, and already it seemed exactly as I thought it would be.

“You have a beautiful place, El. It just screams you.” I joke, following her up the staircase to a bedroom which appeared to be her room.

She thanks me as she opens her laptop, logging into Skype. Setting the laptop to her bed, she finds Perrie’s contact name and clicks call. Not even five seconds later her happy face appears, and she and I both scream at the same time, making Eleanor laugh out loud.

“Alright, now that you have both introduced yourself as ‘AAAAHHHHH’, shall we get to your actual selves?” Eleanor cuts in.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s so nice to meet you, Amber!”

“Trust me, the pleasure is all mine.” I smile, making her hand wave in the air.

“I’ve been squawking to El at how jealous I was that she got to meet you first! I insisted that I have her Skype with you. My goodness, you are a beauty!” She compliments me.

“You’re telling me, look at you!” She had a baggy sweater on with her straight hair in a ponytail and had a touch of makeup. I gave her my Skype name and my number, and she gave me hers with no delay. “Great. All that’s left is Dani. Have you spoken with her, El? I’ve tried to talk to her but I’ve gotten no response.” She asks El, who only shakes her head. That’s right, Liam’s girlfriend.

“I haven’t, sorry.”

“Darn. Alright then.” She sighs.

We began to talk more about ourselves and doing a few ice breaker games. Personally, I don’t like to play ice breaker games as I feel like it just makes the ice thicker, making things more awkward between people. Even when I first did it with Harry it was a bit uneasy.

But with Perrie and Eleanor, I didn’t mind playing one bit, with them it was actually pretty fun. I even got to know more things about them than what they release in the media. They are even better in person, and I am so glad about that.

“So, how are you and Harry, Amber? Good things I hope?” She smiles into the camera. I look over to El, my mood suddenly dropping. Talking with them made me forget what had happened only hours ago, and now a wave of sadness hits me.

“Something wrong?” I hear her ask, making turn my attention back to her, but I only frown and nod. “Oh, no. What did Harry do…” She says with a serious tone.

“It’s our one month anniversary today…” I sighed, motioning Eleanor to finish off the story, which thankfully she did. By the time she finished, Perrie was beet red and mumbling profanities.

“What, the actual, fuck…” She starts. “Amber, you have every right to be upset. Don’t doubt yourself in this situation.” She points, before smudging her hand across her face. “God, when I get my hands on that mother fucking-” She continues, but El cuts her off.

“Okay, Perrie. We get it. Harry is being an arse at the moment.” She silences her best friend on the screen before turning to me. “But, if he does care about you, he would do anything to make it right. Just have to give him time.” She says softly, making me feel like there is a glimpse of hope. I swear, her and Louis are so alike, no wonder.

“El, she left the hotel room and he didn’t bother going after her! He stayed behind! If he was really sorry he would have run after her.” She states, crossing her arms. I look down at my lap, picking off a string that has loosened in my jeans. Even though the small hope disappeared, she’s right. He didn’t come after me. “Where the hell is he anyway?” Perrie suddenly brings up.

“El?” I ask, remembering that she was here when Harry left.

“He didn’t say anything.” She shrugs. “He just changed and walked out in silence.”

“Have you tried to call him?” I shake my head with eyes wide open. “Have any of the other boys tried to call you?” I look around for my phone, soon remembering that I have left it in my bag. I get off of the bed as smoothly as possible and reach for my bag, fishing my phone out. 4 missed calls from Louis, 7 from Liam, 5 from Niall and 3 from Zayn. 0 from Harry.

“Yeah, they did. Just not Harry.” I frown.

“Call Liam and see how Harry is doing.” El suggests. I hand her the phone, only receiving a heavy sigh from her. “Come on, Amber. Try. It’s just Liam. He seemed to be the one that called you the most, and the fact that all four of them called, then it means something is up.” She argues.

I bring my phone back to me, and stare down at Liam’s phone number. What if Harry tries to answer it? What if Harry was listening? What if Harry got them to think I over-reacted, just to make them hate me? If they all hated me…

“Amber, stop thinking ‘what if’s and do it already. I don’t have all day, you know. Just call Niall, he will always be sweet.” Perrie says, interrupting my thoughts. I scroll down my contacts and found Nialler. Taking a deep breath, I press call and bring it up to my ear. “Speaker phone.” Perrie whispers. I quickly do as she says and listen to it ring one more time before Niall’s Irish voice comes through.

“Guys! Shut the hell up I got in touch with Amber!” He yells out. “Amber, thank God you answered.” He says in a worried voice with multiple ones in the back, but Niall shushes them.

“Hey, uh, you guys were calling me? What’s up?” I ask as calmly as possible.

“Is Harry with you by any chance?” He quickly asks.

“No.” I tell him, and I hear him tell the others before groans echo. “Is everything okay?” I question, my heart begins to race quicker.

“Uh, not to alarm you, but we may have a problem." I just love problems. "Uhm.. Well, you see-” He starts but was cut off as the line started to make weird noises before Louis’ voice came through.

“For fuck's sake Niall! Look Amber, Harry is missing and he isn’t answering his phone. He didn’t tell any of us where he is, and last time this happened, well, it wasn’t good.” From the corner of my eye the girls’ eyes went wide as if remembering something. “We need you to call him, because obviously something happened. I told you to text me the SOS, Amber. I told you and this is why! I wasn’t kidding!” He starts to accuse me angrily, already making me feel like I am being hated by them. Great.

“Mr. Tomlinson, I hope you are not trying to accuse Amber of something, because she has done nothing wrong here.” Perrie yells out, and I move the phone closer to the laptop so they can hear.

“Perrie? Are you with Amber?”

“Pear-bear?” Zayn calls out.

“Hello my love.” She makes a kiss noise before continuing. “I am Skyping with the ladies, and I know for a fact that Amber is not to be blamed.” She defends me. I gave her a smile and she gives me on in return, as we sit and wait for a response.

“Well, okay. But you still could have at least checked in. We-” He stops, as a voice mumbles in the background.

“Hello?” El calls out. She gets no response as the guys begin to raise their voices at one another, soon shouting.

“HEY!” I shout, hoping they could hear me. Their shouting stopped, and the phone makes the weird noises again.

“Amber, it’s Liam. I just got off the phone with Harry. I need you and El to meet me at the bar from yesterday night. Like, now. We’re all on our way.” He says before hanging up the phone. I look over to El who was already going around the room, getting jackets and shoes.

“What’s going on?” I ask her.

“Amber.” Perrie calls out, taking my attention. “Just go. He needs you right now. We can chat after. Let me know how things go. El I will see you tomorrow same time?” She asks her, receiving a nod. “Perfect. Toodles to you!” She says with a small, sad smile and a wave before disconnecting.

“Come on. We don’t have much time.” El says as she closes her laptop and placing it back where it was before walking out the door. I quickly scramble off the bed and get my shoes and jacket back on before following her to her car.

“Is Harry going to do something?” I ask her once we drove out into the street.

“It’s what he has already done.” She sighs, leaving me confused.

Notes

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