Why Don't We Go There?
Chapter Forty-Two
Niall's POV
Its been the worst two weeks of my entire life. I didn't even leave my room the day after it all went down. Today was May 31st. Today was the day that she was leaving. I didn't want her to go. I missed her. I tried to call her and get her back but she never answered my calls. Or Lilly did. And she told me that Clary didn't want to talk to me. I would watch from my window while she played her guitar outside. Rehearsals helped me though. It kept me distracted. But every time I drove past her house I felt that sinking feeling in my stomach. I barely even slept these past two weeks. I tossed and turned not able to get comfortable. Why? Because she wasn't there with me. I could still picture her lips on mine. I still could feel how her body felt when she was curled up in my arms. I wish I could go back in time and stop that argument from happening. Then I would still have her. I wouldn't be here feeling like my heart has been torn into pieces. I never told her how I felt about her. And now I never will. I'm currently sitting on my front porch steps. I see Nate walking over. We've actually become pretty good friends again. I guess Clary was right he did change. God everything reminded me of her. "Hey man. How you holding up?" He sits down next to me. "I feel like I'm not even alive anymore Nate. She's like always there but not." I look at him. He seems at a loss of words. "Hey I'm sure things will work out! Your audition is soon. That should be fun...you guys are going to kill it."
"Yea I hope so. I just miss her you know?"
"Its okay man..." And then I see her going out of her house in a pair of running shorts and a tank top. God she always looks amazing. She had headphones in and then she started running off towards the park. I did this every morning at about 8am. I knew that's when she ran. I just had to see her...I think a part of me was hoping she would look over and see me. Then we would make up and everything would go back to normal. But she never looked over here.
Clary's POV
Today is the day that I get to kiss this stupid ass country goodbye. My mom got an apartment over there but she was only going to stay there when we had home games. I got outside and I can feel his eyes on me. But I don't look. I can't because if I did I know that I would give in and go back to him. But I know that I can't. It would be pointless. I lasted these two weeks I can make it. The first couple of days were the worst. I didn't even change my sweatpants. I just laid in bed all day while my mom tried everything to cheer me up. She even offered to buy me a puppy. But I found that running helped. It always did help be run away from my problems. Playing music and drawing helped. Now I just kept busy...distracting myself from thinking about him. About his lips and how good his hands felt when they roamed my body. I think I fell in love with him. But now I know that I was stupid to love him. Everyone gets hurt. Even if you were in love. Look at my parents my mom fell for a guy in the army. And he loved her more than anything on this planet. But then he left us way to early. Love. What a bunch of shit. I get back from my run and my mom is crying at the table. "Mom stop! You will see me! Its not like I'm vanishing and never coming back!" I see her looking through photo albums. She just sniffles and I go up to shower. I get down and grab stuff to eat. "Mom I'm going to start loading up the car...please stop crying!" She wipes her tears and closes the album. I grab a box and bag. I get outside and see Nate coming over. I smile at him. "Hey Nate! What's up?"
"Nothing...just can't believe your leaving...feels like just yesterday you moved here."
"Hey now don't go all sentimental on me!" I open the trunk and put the box and bag in. "Ha oh no I won't ...how have you been?"
"I'm better Nate. Its getting easier for me I think. I don't know but I think it's for the best. Long distance would've been too hard." He just follows me and helps load a box into the car. "That's good I guess. Well I have to go to work but give me a hug and don't be a stranger when you come back for holiday breaks okay?" I hug him and just smile. "Don't worry I won't! Have fun at work tell Haz to stop on by!" I go back and grab another box. When I see Ellie's car pull up. Everyone piles out except for Haz since he was at work until Nate got there. "Hey guys! Didn't know you all were stopping on by!" I run over and hug all of them. They all look really sad. "Do you have to go Clary?" I look at Liam and just smile. "Yea I have to. I think it's for the best Liam. But hey you guys are going to kick ass on your audition! Ellie and Perrie you have to record it so Lilly and I can watch it later." Ellie was crying and just nodded at me. I gave them all more hugs and kissed them on the cheeks. I finish loading up my stuff when Haz's car pulls up. I run over and hug him. "Haz I am going to miss you so much! We have to stay in touch and when you guys get famous I want you to still be my friend okay?"
"Of course and if we get famous I will send you everything with our autographs. Albums, posters, you name and it's yours."
"Thanks Haz...how is he?" Harry never sugar coated how Niall was doing and that's why I always asked him. "Clary he's been depressed. I just don't know what to do with him. I think once you leave it will be easier for him." I just nod and he walks back over to Niall's house. Probably to check to see if he is still breathing or something. I go inside. "MOM! Come on! My plane leaves in 3 hours! We have got to go!"
Niall's POV
I am downstairs eating something when Haz just comes in. "Hey mate. How you doing?"
"Why is everyone asking when they know the answer." I continue eating. I sigh and meet his eyes. They were green too but Clary's were more vibrant than his. Like the color of grass on a summer's day. "Just checking..."
"Thanks I guess...its just hard Haz. I don't know why but it is." I finish eating and then we go out to my porch and sit down. I was going to watch her leave for good. I have no idea why but I was going to. "Niall you probably shouldn't--"
"Haz...either you can stay and not say anything or you can leave." He shakes his head and then drives away. I know he meant well by saying that but I don't care. I had to see this. Her mom came out and was crying. She noticed me and waved subtly. Then I saw Clary come out. She was in jean shorts and her NYC tank top. She had her red hair up in a ponytail. She looked amazing. I remember when she would see me and wave. She would flash me one of her charming smiles. The smile that would light up her whole face. I know I am staring at her. I am praying that she will look over here and then run over and throw herself in my arms. She stops walking and looks at me. My heart speeds up but she then disappears into the passenger seat. Then I watch as her car disappears into the distance. I let out all the tears I have kept in. "Clary...please come back. I love you. I still love you. There won't be any other girl that could even come close to you."
Clary's POV
I get to the airport and feel sick. I watched Niall watch me drive away. But this is what I wanted right? I wanted to have no ties back here...this is all so confusing. I think I loved him more than I thought. But this is for the best right? Like that Carrie Underwood song. "Sometimes there's good in goodbye..." I think I will find the good in this goodbye. What I will miss the most is having him as my best friend...I'll miss sharing everything with him. "Honey you okay?"
"Yea mom I'm fine..." She grabs my hand and squeezes it. My mom was there for me during this whole break up. We get to the airport and my mom has another break down. I find it hard to believe she has anymore tears left. "Mom...come on...it will be fine! We'll see each other all the time!"
"I know! Just you grew up so fast. He would've loved to be here...let me look at my beautiful daughter. Going to college in the big city. Don't have too much fun okay? School and football first." I smile at her. We hug. "Always mom. I love you! I'll call you when I land!"
"Okay sunshine. I love you too. Say hello to Nicole and Lilly for me." I smile and nod. Waving goodbye one last time before disappearing on the plane. New York City here I come. Ireland...its been a blast. My future looks very bright and I can't wait to see all the possiblities for me. Of course coming back here for breaks isn't bad. My plane takes off and I feel more relaxed than ever. Perhaps I did make the right decision.
Its been the worst two weeks of my entire life. I didn't even leave my room the day after it all went down. Today was May 31st. Today was the day that she was leaving. I didn't want her to go. I missed her. I tried to call her and get her back but she never answered my calls. Or Lilly did. And she told me that Clary didn't want to talk to me. I would watch from my window while she played her guitar outside. Rehearsals helped me though. It kept me distracted. But every time I drove past her house I felt that sinking feeling in my stomach. I barely even slept these past two weeks. I tossed and turned not able to get comfortable. Why? Because she wasn't there with me. I could still picture her lips on mine. I still could feel how her body felt when she was curled up in my arms. I wish I could go back in time and stop that argument from happening. Then I would still have her. I wouldn't be here feeling like my heart has been torn into pieces. I never told her how I felt about her. And now I never will. I'm currently sitting on my front porch steps. I see Nate walking over. We've actually become pretty good friends again. I guess Clary was right he did change. God everything reminded me of her. "Hey man. How you holding up?" He sits down next to me. "I feel like I'm not even alive anymore Nate. She's like always there but not." I look at him. He seems at a loss of words. "Hey I'm sure things will work out! Your audition is soon. That should be fun...you guys are going to kill it."
"Yea I hope so. I just miss her you know?"
"Its okay man..." And then I see her going out of her house in a pair of running shorts and a tank top. God she always looks amazing. She had headphones in and then she started running off towards the park. I did this every morning at about 8am. I knew that's when she ran. I just had to see her...I think a part of me was hoping she would look over and see me. Then we would make up and everything would go back to normal. But she never looked over here.
Clary's POV
Today is the day that I get to kiss this stupid ass country goodbye. My mom got an apartment over there but she was only going to stay there when we had home games. I got outside and I can feel his eyes on me. But I don't look. I can't because if I did I know that I would give in and go back to him. But I know that I can't. It would be pointless. I lasted these two weeks I can make it. The first couple of days were the worst. I didn't even change my sweatpants. I just laid in bed all day while my mom tried everything to cheer me up. She even offered to buy me a puppy. But I found that running helped. It always did help be run away from my problems. Playing music and drawing helped. Now I just kept busy...distracting myself from thinking about him. About his lips and how good his hands felt when they roamed my body. I think I fell in love with him. But now I know that I was stupid to love him. Everyone gets hurt. Even if you were in love. Look at my parents my mom fell for a guy in the army. And he loved her more than anything on this planet. But then he left us way to early. Love. What a bunch of shit. I get back from my run and my mom is crying at the table. "Mom stop! You will see me! Its not like I'm vanishing and never coming back!" I see her looking through photo albums. She just sniffles and I go up to shower. I get down and grab stuff to eat. "Mom I'm going to start loading up the car...please stop crying!" She wipes her tears and closes the album. I grab a box and bag. I get outside and see Nate coming over. I smile at him. "Hey Nate! What's up?"
"Nothing...just can't believe your leaving...feels like just yesterday you moved here."
"Hey now don't go all sentimental on me!" I open the trunk and put the box and bag in. "Ha oh no I won't ...how have you been?"
"I'm better Nate. Its getting easier for me I think. I don't know but I think it's for the best. Long distance would've been too hard." He just follows me and helps load a box into the car. "That's good I guess. Well I have to go to work but give me a hug and don't be a stranger when you come back for holiday breaks okay?" I hug him and just smile. "Don't worry I won't! Have fun at work tell Haz to stop on by!" I go back and grab another box. When I see Ellie's car pull up. Everyone piles out except for Haz since he was at work until Nate got there. "Hey guys! Didn't know you all were stopping on by!" I run over and hug all of them. They all look really sad. "Do you have to go Clary?" I look at Liam and just smile. "Yea I have to. I think it's for the best Liam. But hey you guys are going to kick ass on your audition! Ellie and Perrie you have to record it so Lilly and I can watch it later." Ellie was crying and just nodded at me. I gave them all more hugs and kissed them on the cheeks. I finish loading up my stuff when Haz's car pulls up. I run over and hug him. "Haz I am going to miss you so much! We have to stay in touch and when you guys get famous I want you to still be my friend okay?"
"Of course and if we get famous I will send you everything with our autographs. Albums, posters, you name and it's yours."
"Thanks Haz...how is he?" Harry never sugar coated how Niall was doing and that's why I always asked him. "Clary he's been depressed. I just don't know what to do with him. I think once you leave it will be easier for him." I just nod and he walks back over to Niall's house. Probably to check to see if he is still breathing or something. I go inside. "MOM! Come on! My plane leaves in 3 hours! We have got to go!"
Niall's POV
I am downstairs eating something when Haz just comes in. "Hey mate. How you doing?"
"Why is everyone asking when they know the answer." I continue eating. I sigh and meet his eyes. They were green too but Clary's were more vibrant than his. Like the color of grass on a summer's day. "Just checking..."
"Thanks I guess...its just hard Haz. I don't know why but it is." I finish eating and then we go out to my porch and sit down. I was going to watch her leave for good. I have no idea why but I was going to. "Niall you probably shouldn't--"
"Haz...either you can stay and not say anything or you can leave." He shakes his head and then drives away. I know he meant well by saying that but I don't care. I had to see this. Her mom came out and was crying. She noticed me and waved subtly. Then I saw Clary come out. She was in jean shorts and her NYC tank top. She had her red hair up in a ponytail. She looked amazing. I remember when she would see me and wave. She would flash me one of her charming smiles. The smile that would light up her whole face. I know I am staring at her. I am praying that she will look over here and then run over and throw herself in my arms. She stops walking and looks at me. My heart speeds up but she then disappears into the passenger seat. Then I watch as her car disappears into the distance. I let out all the tears I have kept in. "Clary...please come back. I love you. I still love you. There won't be any other girl that could even come close to you."
Clary's POV
I get to the airport and feel sick. I watched Niall watch me drive away. But this is what I wanted right? I wanted to have no ties back here...this is all so confusing. I think I loved him more than I thought. But this is for the best right? Like that Carrie Underwood song. "Sometimes there's good in goodbye..." I think I will find the good in this goodbye. What I will miss the most is having him as my best friend...I'll miss sharing everything with him. "Honey you okay?"
"Yea mom I'm fine..." She grabs my hand and squeezes it. My mom was there for me during this whole break up. We get to the airport and my mom has another break down. I find it hard to believe she has anymore tears left. "Mom...come on...it will be fine! We'll see each other all the time!"
"I know! Just you grew up so fast. He would've loved to be here...let me look at my beautiful daughter. Going to college in the big city. Don't have too much fun okay? School and football first." I smile at her. We hug. "Always mom. I love you! I'll call you when I land!"
"Okay sunshine. I love you too. Say hello to Nicole and Lilly for me." I smile and nod. Waving goodbye one last time before disappearing on the plane. New York City here I come. Ireland...its been a blast. My future looks very bright and I can't wait to see all the possiblities for me. Of course coming back here for breaks isn't bad. My plane takes off and I feel more relaxed than ever. Perhaps I did make the right decision.
So that's the end? They don't get back together and get married or have kids?!?!?!I'm very disappointed
7/19/16