Rendezvous With the Reviewer
Sweet Disaster
Sweet Disaster by ANormalGirl
Rating: 5
The story is a romantic drama based upon a girl who 'accidentally' meets the one and only Harry Styles on an eventful night. The main characters are Harry alongside Emma Davidson, who happens to be in a relationship with a guy mentally abusing her and leaving her insecure. Since the story has been updated up to 4 chapters, the personalities of the characters are still vague and it was not possible to come up with a favorite character.
The author's style of writing is simple in every aspect, with a first person perspective, occasionally changing POV's after each chapter. There were a few spelling and grammar errors here and there with quite a lot of punctuation problems. The writing leant slightly towards informal. There weren't many descriptions apart from the unnecessary details of the outfits.
The author can draw in a general audience depending on the continuation of the story. The plot has not been exposed yet and it is moderately slow, i.e. in a good way. The story although is clearly written, it also happens to be quite unprofessional. For instance, and I quote, ""LILY. I NEED YOU TO HELP ME PICK OUT AN OUTFIT!! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO WEAR AND I'M SUPPOSED TOBE AT MATT'S PLACE IN HALF AN HOUR."" and "Well he's not some guy, he's my boyfriend of 6months and I think he is finally going to tell me he loves me. EEPP I'M SO HAPPY!"
I personally believe writing a dialogue in uppercase is quite unnecessary in order to express one's emotion. Also, I believe one exclamation mark is more than enough to show excitement.
The author managed to explain her story throughout but fell short in one chapter, where she mentioned someone getting hit by Harry's car. I felt as though it was meant to be a cliffhanger in some way, but it was a failed attempt. The storyline is still developing and, apart from a few minor lacking, is pretty much on the right track.
The story does have a very clichéd introduction but with an unusual twist to it. Instead of the usual OC bumping into one the boys, the OC of this fanfic bumps into Harry's car. Also, where most OC's get raped in a back alley of a bar/club or some dangerous part of town with one of the boys magically appearing to rescue them, the OC almost gets raped at her boyfriend's place and manages to save her own butt. I personally think that is commendable.
I could relate to a bit of the OC's character where she becomes slightly insecure, having received a lot of criticism from her own boyfriend. Yet she isn't overly insecure; at least not enough to make you want to blast 'What Makes You Beautiful' in the background and cringe at how she smiles at the ground every single time. (I apologize for my dry sense of humor)
General Opinion: The majority of readers may like the fact that Harry's character has been portrayed beautifully in the story. I was quite surprised that the author managed to display how Harry gets publicly belittled by the media and irrespective of his own behavior, how it may actually affect him.
The audience may find the OC a bit annoying considering she tries to reason with her drunken boyfriend in the act of getting raped, in a very illogical way too. Also, how she decides that dying would be the best option, after almost getting raped as though her life has no other purpose.
Personal Opinion: The reason I gave this story a 5 is because of how nicely you've explained Harry's mental pressure due to the exploitations of the media. Most stories do have these aspects, but the author usually just brushes through it instead of going into details.
The main character, however, came off a bit pathetic while you were trying to portray her as innocent and naive. You should build up her character a lot more in the coming chapters to gain the readers' respect. For instance, her trying to kill herself just cause her boyfriend attempted rape and failed sounds extremely stupid. I liked her better when she was fighting off Matt and resolving not to let the dumb pig take advantage of her.
Also, make sure Harry doesn't go all superman by the end of her recovery, once they go to the hospital; meaning, make sure Harry doesn't go overboard with his guilt (even though he has expressed regret and guilt on chapter 4)by staying by her side 24/7. Make sure he doesn't end up going 'why? How could I have been so stupid? I made an innocent life suffer because I was too stubborn and drunk!' over and over again. I mean let's be honest, which nineteen year old celebrity would stay by a person they almost ran over?
To be quite honest, I have nothing solid to criticize on other than the fact that the story sounds a bit basic and has a weak plot till now. However, I'm hoping that it will build up with time. In general, I liked it. It was an okay read for me and I wouldn't mind recommending it; but I can't say I'm fond of it either.
Rating: 5
The story is a romantic drama based upon a girl who 'accidentally' meets the one and only Harry Styles on an eventful night. The main characters are Harry alongside Emma Davidson, who happens to be in a relationship with a guy mentally abusing her and leaving her insecure. Since the story has been updated up to 4 chapters, the personalities of the characters are still vague and it was not possible to come up with a favorite character.
The author's style of writing is simple in every aspect, with a first person perspective, occasionally changing POV's after each chapter. There were a few spelling and grammar errors here and there with quite a lot of punctuation problems. The writing leant slightly towards informal. There weren't many descriptions apart from the unnecessary details of the outfits.
The author can draw in a general audience depending on the continuation of the story. The plot has not been exposed yet and it is moderately slow, i.e. in a good way. The story although is clearly written, it also happens to be quite unprofessional. For instance, and I quote, ""LILY. I NEED YOU TO HELP ME PICK OUT AN OUTFIT!! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO WEAR AND I'M SUPPOSED TOBE AT MATT'S PLACE IN HALF AN HOUR."" and "Well he's not some guy, he's my boyfriend of 6months and I think he is finally going to tell me he loves me. EEPP I'M SO HAPPY!"
I personally believe writing a dialogue in uppercase is quite unnecessary in order to express one's emotion. Also, I believe one exclamation mark is more than enough to show excitement.
The author managed to explain her story throughout but fell short in one chapter, where she mentioned someone getting hit by Harry's car. I felt as though it was meant to be a cliffhanger in some way, but it was a failed attempt. The storyline is still developing and, apart from a few minor lacking, is pretty much on the right track.
The story does have a very clichéd introduction but with an unusual twist to it. Instead of the usual OC bumping into one the boys, the OC of this fanfic bumps into Harry's car. Also, where most OC's get raped in a back alley of a bar/club or some dangerous part of town with one of the boys magically appearing to rescue them, the OC almost gets raped at her boyfriend's place and manages to save her own butt. I personally think that is commendable.
I could relate to a bit of the OC's character where she becomes slightly insecure, having received a lot of criticism from her own boyfriend. Yet she isn't overly insecure; at least not enough to make you want to blast 'What Makes You Beautiful' in the background and cringe at how she smiles at the ground every single time. (I apologize for my dry sense of humor)
General Opinion: The majority of readers may like the fact that Harry's character has been portrayed beautifully in the story. I was quite surprised that the author managed to display how Harry gets publicly belittled by the media and irrespective of his own behavior, how it may actually affect him.
The audience may find the OC a bit annoying considering she tries to reason with her drunken boyfriend in the act of getting raped, in a very illogical way too. Also, how she decides that dying would be the best option, after almost getting raped as though her life has no other purpose.
Personal Opinion: The reason I gave this story a 5 is because of how nicely you've explained Harry's mental pressure due to the exploitations of the media. Most stories do have these aspects, but the author usually just brushes through it instead of going into details.
The main character, however, came off a bit pathetic while you were trying to portray her as innocent and naive. You should build up her character a lot more in the coming chapters to gain the readers' respect. For instance, her trying to kill herself just cause her boyfriend attempted rape and failed sounds extremely stupid. I liked her better when she was fighting off Matt and resolving not to let the dumb pig take advantage of her.
Also, make sure Harry doesn't go all superman by the end of her recovery, once they go to the hospital; meaning, make sure Harry doesn't go overboard with his guilt (even though he has expressed regret and guilt on chapter 4)by staying by her side 24/7. Make sure he doesn't end up going 'why? How could I have been so stupid? I made an innocent life suffer because I was too stubborn and drunk!' over and over again. I mean let's be honest, which nineteen year old celebrity would stay by a person they almost ran over?
To be quite honest, I have nothing solid to criticize on other than the fact that the story sounds a bit basic and has a weak plot till now. However, I'm hoping that it will build up with time. In general, I liked it. It was an okay read for me and I wouldn't mind recommending it; but I can't say I'm fond of it either.
Notes
General Message for Authors:
If you found the review rude or disappointing, I can’t say I’m sorry since it is my honest opinion. It may be brutal but it is the truth. If you would like me to remove the review, just ask. There is no need for abuse or violence! If you or your readers do end up cyber-bullying me, all I can say is that you should grow up and learn to embrace criticism if you are to become an author or write in general. You should have thought it through before asking for a review since you had been warned. So, please be mature about it instead of nagging or whining. Thank you.
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9/2/14