Abhor
Author: dontjockmystyles
Rate: 9

Your grammar was good, minus two frequent mistakes: interrupters and dialogue. Interrupters are words or phrases that interrupt the sentence flow, hence the name. Dialogue errors, on the other hand, are hard to explain, because there are so many ways to write it. Here is an example of both from your text:

(What You Wrote)
“Years of experience sweetheart.” I grinned back.

(What You Should Have Written)
“Years of experience, sweetheart,” I grinned back.

Names are the most common interrupters that I see in stories that aren’t properly written. Don’t forget to add those commas for breaks in sentences. As for dialogue, there are many different ways that dialogue is written, but you have a frequent error that is hard to make an example for. If you are interested in learning about your mistakes and correcting them, here is a link to a page that has dialogue help that is actually written by someone on here: [Link]. Other than those mistakes, I did catch a few sentence fragments and other minor errors, but you didn’t do too badly.

I do quite like the story itself though, as it is different from the typical University kind of stories that I’ve read. You have a way with making things realistic and detail that makes me feel like I’m in the scene – if that makes any sense. The pictures are definitely painted (a reference that you might get if you’ve read some of the other reviews), and I, despite the typical taken and nearly raped while drunk story line, absolutely adore this story.

Of course, I did get a bit confused with the Henry is Harry part because doesn’t she already know Harry? And who the heck is this CEO’s son? Nonetheless, I still absolutely love this story. You just need to work on those few grammatical errors I mentioned and continue to write because you have done a phenomenal job on Abhor. <3

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If you found this review to be disappointing, I'm can't say I'm sorry. As I said, I am a brutally honest person, or so people tell me. If you would like me to take this down, I will, just ask me. Don't bitch about it either; I don't care what you think, I'm just telling you what I think. Don't get mad, you asked for it. Don't rate this badly just because you don't like what I say. But on the off chance you like what I'm telling you, I'm glad you could learn something from me.

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