Fanfiction 101
They Don’t Know About Us
They Don’t Know About Us
Author: lilyisabellerunner
Rate:
I don’t like and like it at the same time. A part of me isn’t getting any of the connections they seem to have, which is why I dislike it, but you know when you read a story and it just kind of sticks out to you? Maybe it’s not something you would typically like; yet you just kind of like it anyway. Well, that’s kind of how I feel about your story, and I can’t seem to put my finger on why.
Back to why I don’t like it though. I feel like the story is rushing into things too fast. I was good with everything up to the point where they were out super early in the morning, they kiss, and then she’s “stuck”. In the chapter following, it starts with her saying she’s falling for him and he admits that he doesn’t want to leave her, but there just isn’t much emotional connection. All of a sudden they just click. Within those two times they are out after she agrees to help clean up Harry’s image, they don’t really seem to learn much about one another. Neither of them really know much about each other and then – boom! Love.
Next thing they’re all “coupley” but I’m still trying to make sense of when and how the heck they got like that. After that, they kind of ignore each other. Then, he goes and meets her family on a spur of the moment kind of decision when they see each other at the airport coincidentally. When that trip ends, the story kind of repeats itself – ignoring each other, then meeting up out of coincidence. And I hate that. The repetitiveness of the on-off thing after not being able to tell when they got on the first time is really boring and unoriginal, and it makes me want to take my eyes out.
However, I kid you not, at the same time something in me says I like this story and I don’t know what the fuck it is but it’s annoying me right now. I can’t explain it. I somewhat like it.
Overall, I feel like I shouldn’t like your story, and I don’t but I do. Make sense? Of course it doesn’t. Either way, I think you should maybe think about the time and how exactly the characters would actually be feeling after only spending so little time together. You kind of rushed it for me, and I just don’t get why they’re so love/hate because of it.
If you find your review to be disappointing, I cannot honestly tell you that I’m sorry. Do not let what I say in any way discourage you from writing or anything for that matter. I am just one person with strongly opinionated views on everything. If I made it clear that I strongly dislike your story, do not think that other people won’t enjoy it. There are many other readers with different views than me who will find interest in your story where I may not have. I hope you do take something out of this and improve on and continue your writing, but if you don’t, that’s fine too.
Author: lilyisabellerunner
Rate:
I don’t like and like it at the same time. A part of me isn’t getting any of the connections they seem to have, which is why I dislike it, but you know when you read a story and it just kind of sticks out to you? Maybe it’s not something you would typically like; yet you just kind of like it anyway. Well, that’s kind of how I feel about your story, and I can’t seem to put my finger on why.
Back to why I don’t like it though. I feel like the story is rushing into things too fast. I was good with everything up to the point where they were out super early in the morning, they kiss, and then she’s “stuck”. In the chapter following, it starts with her saying she’s falling for him and he admits that he doesn’t want to leave her, but there just isn’t much emotional connection. All of a sudden they just click. Within those two times they are out after she agrees to help clean up Harry’s image, they don’t really seem to learn much about one another. Neither of them really know much about each other and then – boom! Love.
Next thing they’re all “coupley” but I’m still trying to make sense of when and how the heck they got like that. After that, they kind of ignore each other. Then, he goes and meets her family on a spur of the moment kind of decision when they see each other at the airport coincidentally. When that trip ends, the story kind of repeats itself – ignoring each other, then meeting up out of coincidence. And I hate that. The repetitiveness of the on-off thing after not being able to tell when they got on the first time is really boring and unoriginal, and it makes me want to take my eyes out.
However, I kid you not, at the same time something in me says I like this story and I don’t know what the fuck it is but it’s annoying me right now. I can’t explain it. I somewhat like it.
Overall, I feel like I shouldn’t like your story, and I don’t but I do. Make sense? Of course it doesn’t. Either way, I think you should maybe think about the time and how exactly the characters would actually be feeling after only spending so little time together. You kind of rushed it for me, and I just don’t get why they’re so love/hate because of it.
If you find your review to be disappointing, I cannot honestly tell you that I’m sorry. Do not let what I say in any way discourage you from writing or anything for that matter. I am just one person with strongly opinionated views on everything. If I made it clear that I strongly dislike your story, do not think that other people won’t enjoy it. There are many other readers with different views than me who will find interest in your story where I may not have. I hope you do take something out of this and improve on and continue your writing, but if you don’t, that’s fine too.
@That_clifford_girl
Hi! I don't normally do this but I'm just gonna get right on it.
It's in my knowledge that this author isn't coming back. Which means your review isn't coming. But! I recently started up a review store so if you're interested you can link your story there.
All you have to do is click my name and follow the form. :-)
12/31/16