*Hannah’s POV*

The line for the bathroom was a lot longer than I had expected. Normally, we all stayed in for New Years, but this year, I wanted to celebrate a little bit more than that. I brought Harry and the guys to the club to remind them about Harry’s and my reunion. Scanning the crowd on the dance floor, I saw Lou and El making out on the dance floor and I saw Zayn and Haley dancing, and then I realized that they were complete opposites. She ground against Zayn like there was no tomorrow, letting the music take over her body and her hips were pulled back into him. Zayn, on the other hand, basically stood there. He slightly swayed, but that was about all that he was doing that was keeping him from standing in place.

Chuckling slightly, I walked up the steps and turned again at the top, still searching for my curly haired prince charming. I looked over at our table and saw Liam and Dani talking to Niall, but Harry was still no where in sight. Walking past them, I got to the smaller stair well at the other side of the platform. There, I saw someone sitting down, head in their hands. I wouldn’t have taken a second look if it weren’t for the curls that surrounded their face. Walking closer, there was no one else that it could have been.

“Harry?” What was wrong? He raised his head out of his hands and looked me dead in the eyes, but those weren’t the eyes that I knew. The eyes that I saw were so dark that they were hardly green at all. I walked passed him to the bottom of the platform, it only being a six step platform, before there was a landing and another flight. I tilted my head and tried to keep my face full of understanding. I reached to brush away some stray curls, but his hand caught my wrist before my hand made it to his face.

“Niall told me.” It came out as less than a whisper, but it was full of intensity. Fear struck through me. “He thinks that I’m an honest enough person to deserve the truth.” His voice was so hard. His gaze left mine and fell to the floor. There was so much hurt in his expression that I had to look away, not being able to take it. “The only thing is…” he looked back up at me and held me captive with his stare, “I’m not as honest as everyone likes to think.” Now, it was his turn to look away as my eyebrows furrowed. “You’re just so attractive and I thought what we had together was real.”

“It is real.” I worked hard to steady my voice.

“Yeah, it was real even if you don’t remember it.” There was so much rage in his voice. Wait. Remember what?

“What don’t I remember? I remember every feeling that I’ve ever had for you; I remember the way your lips feel on mine; I remember the way that it feels when you tickle my sides; I remember the way your eyes twinkle a brighter green in the morning and I remember the way that they’ve been full of tears when I’ve upset…”

“You don’t remember us sleeping together,” he interrupted. I took a second to let the words sink in. I studied his face for any sign of lying. The only thing that happened was that his face softened into one of hurt and then one of sorrow. I knew that he wouldn’t lie about something like that. But before, he had told me that he didn’t remember what had happened.

“But you said…”

“I know what I said!” He paused and took a breath, attempting to compose himself. “I know what I said, and the only reason that I said it was because I had just gotten you back, and I didn’t want to lose you again.” I watched as his face contorted. “And I did it all just for you to go and kiss Niall.”

“He put his hands on my waist.” I couldn’t believe my own words, but they were true. Niall had put his hands on me and he did deepen the kiss.

“But you were the one that first kissed him.”

“I thought that it was you!” I screamed, not caring if anyone else had heard me. I watched a pang of guilt run through Harry’s face before it again became overcome by anger. “Ugh!” With that, I turned around, walking back into the crowd of sweaty bodies, all rubbing against one another. By the time that I looked back, I had been engulfed by people. I couldn’t see Harry’s face, but I knew that it was probably no different than how I had left him.

I had lived through more drinks than I had years and wasn’t sure how much longer that I was going to hang around here. A part of me said that I had already known that Harry and I had slept together after the last time that we were here. The other part was hoping that we hadn’t so that we could another time and I would remember it. I sat at the bar, pissed as hell at Harry. He had told me that he didn’t remember anything either. He had taken my innocence and hadn’t even had the decency to tell me that it had happened. I got up from the bar. Planning to go back to my apartment, I got out my phone to call a cab. Seeing that I had a text, I opened it.

From: Marcus
I c u
~ Stacks On Racks ~

To: Marcus
What the hell?
~ Hannah <3 ~

From: Marcus
Hey, I like 2 party 2!
~ Stacks On Racks ~

Looking around curiously, I finally spotted him at the bar. It couldn’t have been anyone else. His eyes locked with mine as he ran his hands through his short, dark hair. He had put gel in it, which wasn’t something that he normally did for me. He put out one finger, beckoning me over to him. I don’t know why, but I lost control of my feet as they moved me closer to him. Pushing a few sweating bodies out of the way, I thought about Harry, about how mad he was at me, even though I had every right to be just as mad at him. When I made it to Marcus, he gave me a hug and I hugged him back tightly, probably a little tighter than I should have. We pulled away, but not before he kissed my cheek.

“So, I hear that you’ve been hanging with that Styles guy!” He yelled over the music. I rolled my eyes, not bothering to hide the look of hurt on my face. I looked towards the floor before Marcus pulled my chin up to look into his brown eyes. “Whoa Beautiful, what’s wrong. You’re too pretty not to be smiling.” I let a weak smile play on my face. It was all that I could muster up. I tried to talk to him, but the music was too loud and I wasn’t willing to put in the effort to yell. He leaned in close to my ear, looking somewhere over my shoulder. “Why don’t we go somewhere where there’s not so much noise.” His breath tickled my neck and I nearly stumbled over in my drunken state. “Whoa! Okay, let’s get you out of here.” With that, he stood up and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me tight into his side. He was obviously a lot more sober than me.

Sitting in his car, I was happy that he was here to talk to. Really, he was a nice guy under all of the lust. We pulled up outside the apartment complex, and I had gotten a little bit more sober with the quiet time in the car. With the sobriety, came a little bit of worry. Marcus was lustful; I had no idea how he was going to act. I let him walk me up to my apartment and he stood there awkwardly, waiting to see where I was going to go. I sat down on the couch, and I told him everything. Pangs of guilt surged through me as I remembered when Harry and I sat in this very place and I told Harry about Marcus. Now, it was the other way around.

“Well, thanks for driving me home, Marcus.” I hated to cut our little reunion short, but I knew that it was God knows how late and I’d probably have Harry to deal with tomorrow.

“You don’t have to thank me; I’d do anything for you.” I rolled my eyes at his hopeless romantic like talk and stood up. He stood up as well, following me towards the door. I opened it and watched as his eyes stayed locked with mine. There was no mistaking the lust in his eyes. We stood across from each other, the threshold of my apartment being the only thing that was separating us. I smiled at him, and it was almost genuine this time.

Before I knew what was happening, his lips were on mine, pressing to them harshly. I knew that I was still terribly drunk because my reaction was slow. Hungrily, Marcus continued to kiss me. I pushed against his chest to try to get him off, but it did no good. Marcus grabbed my wrists in his large hands and held them in place, using them as leverage to get closer to me. Fear struck through me as he forced his tongue into my mouth. I turned my head away. “Marcus, what are you doing?” I tried to push on his chest again, but I ended up being the one that moved backwards.

His size overpowering me, he pressed me to one of the walls in the front hall. His lips left mine and moved to my neck. I squirmed under his hold and pushed my hands into his stomach, hoping that he would back up, but he didn’t. He took my hands and kept me pressed to the wall with his hips. They were large and ground into mine. My hands were taken in one of his large ones as his lips found mine once more. “Come on babe, you can’t say that you didn’t miss me.” His lips were plump, but tasted like rubber. Alcohol was hot on his breath and it was suffocating, that and the fact that his frame towered over mine. I was fairly tall, but he was taller, bigger, and stronger. He pressed his free hand to the base of my back and forced his groin into mine, crashing us together. It was about this time that I could feel the obvious bulge in his jeans.

One of my hands freed and instinctively made a fist and made contact with his stomach. With that, I took off through my apartment. I didn’t get far before his arms wrapped around my waist and I felt gross. His fingers dug into my hips more each time that I squirmed. Feeling his breath on my neck, I tried to turn my head to the side, getting him away from the sensitive skin. Then I realized that he was already too close. His head nudged mine back to expose more skin to him. He sucked and nipped at my bare neck. “You know slut? You really shouldn’t go around in little dresses like this,” he tugged up the material of my dress and slid his fingers under the line of my panties. I cringed, thinking of any escape route possible. Tears pricked at my eyes. “It makes nice guys like me want to do some pretty dirty things to whores like you.”

He shoved his leg between mine and spread them apart after tugging my panties down to fall around my ankles. I tried to grab his wrist; stop it from moving further and further between my legs, but it was no use. I was still prying when his fingers made it to my core and I flinched away from his touch as it circled around my entrance. The friction that I had involuntarily created against his crotch made him moan. “Wait.” I froze with fear, not having anything to say or anywhere to run. He released me and a pang of hope flooded through my veins. But I should have known that it was too good to be true, because within seconds I was on the floor.

I could count each blow, but I only felt the first one. The first hit was the worst. I couldn’t tell it he was hitting me with the heel of his foot or his fisted hand, but did it really matter? There was nothing that I could do about it. My face never once dried. I counted sixteen times when he came into contact with my back. I cried out, not realizing that it was causing me pain until the next one came along. All that I could do was to wait for him to stop. I thought about Harry. If he were here, he would protect me. If he saw this, he would freak out… Wait. He wouldn’t give a fuck. He probably hated me right about now. I was quickly torn from my thoughts by an aching pain in my back and Marcus rolling me onto the sore spots that he had just created.

The wood was cold under my body, but a hot sweaty man came to tower over me. “You couldn’t have…” I smacked at his chest, but it was useless. He spread my legs apart, and I couldn’t fight him, no matter how hard I tried to pull them back together. He made no attempt at circling this time. I felt as his finger plunged in and I cried out in pain. He laughed and pumped it a few times, watching me writhe to get him out of me, until nothing but fear flooded my mind.

“You dumb bitch!” Suddenly, my cheek stung. I pulled my hand up to the area and felt something wet and sticky. Seeing the crimson color on my fingers made me a little light headed, but all other thoughts were swept from my mind when I felt more pressure coming from my assailant. Marcus had dropped to his elbows, pressing our bodies together. There was no longer enough space for me to reach his chest to try to beat him off of me. It resulted in me helplessly flailing my limbs around and I was sure that I looked mental, but I didn’t care. If that’s what got him away, then that’s what I’d do. “So you’ll fuck him and not me?” he growled in my ear. “Yeah cunt, I can tell. You’re not as tight as the last time I was with you.” He went back to working his fingers in and out of me as I whimpered. “So he fucked your brains out,” he stilled his fingers inside of me, “but I couldn’t get just a little action?” he wriggled his fingers around and I squirmed restlessly, crying out. How could anyone bring themselves to do this to a girl?

My mouth was covered by his hand. “As much as I like screamers, I wouldn’t do too much of that tonight.” Then I knew, he wasn’t planning on walking away until he had gotten what he wanted. His hand left my mouth and I burst out in sobs. He quickly retrieved something from his back pocket and I instantly caught the light that reflected off of the knife. “Stop. Crying.” I instantly closed my eyes, swallowing my tears. Not caring as to whether we were pissed at each other or not, I imagined Harry. I remembered feeling his curls between my fingers and the taste of his lips. I remembered the soft touch of his rough hands, and the way that I had let it go up my shirt that night. Silently, I wondered if this would be more bearable if I had let Harry have me. It didn't matter; this shouldn't have been happening anyhow.

Suddenly, I felt very real hands moving up my dress and I pushed every thought of Harry out of my mind. Yes, he was a comforting thought, but I wasn’t about to disgrace and taint the memories that I had of him with this. “Open your eyes.” I fearfully obeyed as I felt something press against my throat. I instinctively reached to move the object and hissed through my teeth as the knife sliced my hands in about three different places. “You thought I was joking you twat?” He laughed with a dark look in his deep brown eyes. “I’m going to get up… And you’re going to stay right here, or I’m going to kill you.” I felt as he hesitantly let go, keeping the knife in his hand, making sure that I stayed in place.

Being cautious with the blade of the knife, Marcus unzipped his jeans and pulled them down with his boxers. His hard sprang free and I whimpered. Most women wanted a guy that was big, but I was fairly positive that this was a different circumstance. I dreaded his fingers being inside of me, let alone that. I broke into a cold sweat, breathing getting faster as I was past the panicking point.

He lowered himself back down on top of me and I tried to keep my legs clamped closed. I could feel where each of his fingers met my inner thighs, prying them apart. When I struggled, he dug his fingers in further, making my muscles grow weak. I could feel the tip of it pressed just under my belly button. I let a few tears run down the side of my face. “Don’t act like you don’t want this princess.” He positioned himself and I cringed as he started rubbing his head over my clit. He began laughing. “Wow. Now a dumb bitch, later a pregnant bitch.” My eyes widened in horror and I did the worst thing that I could have done. Raising my head, I looked into his eyes, praying that he wouldn’t carry out the actions that he had just promised. Doing this seemed to exhilarate him.

Rocking his hips forward, he shoved himself inside of me. I cried out in pain, but stayed staring him straight in the face. He moved back way too quickly and every movement hurt more than the last. He rocked into my darkest depths deep and hard. My walls tightened every time, wanting him out. “Stop working against me, whore.” He quickened his pace and my tears began flowing freely. I closed my eyes in a sheer attempt at not letting him see me cry. He started going particularly hard and it became more unbearable. “Don’t close your eyes. Eyes push me over.” My eyes shot open and they met a scary, dark brown. Even though I opened my eyes, he didn’t slow down, or lighten up. He kept going at his miserable pace. Smiling at the fact that he was getting what he wanted to begin with.

Then I realized, that was all that I could do now. The sooner that he finished would mean the sooner that it would be over. “Do you wanna talk to me or are you going to lie there lifeless.” So many thoughts raced through my mind. Lifeless? As if what he was doing wasn't sucking the life out of me. He was taking everything from me. Right about now, I wanted to be lifeless.

“You’re so strong,” I whimpered.

“You suck at this. Harder. Harder? Harder, okay.” He pressed himself so deep inside of me that I thought something was going to rip. Well, I guess it already did, but I mean something that wasn’t supposed to.

I lost track of how much time had passed. I still cried, but I don’t think that he cared anymore. I still struggled slightly, but my body had never been this close to helpless. After a dreadfully long time, his hands shifted. I didn’t know whether he forgot he was holding the knife, or didn’t care. Whatever the reason, his hands found my ribs and I yelled in pain. Part of the pain came from the fact that his pace was becoming incredibly faster as he neared his climax. The other part was that the knife had cut a long strip into the side of my breast where he had started with his hand on the side of my ribs and moved it down to my hip, allowing the knife to catch me through my dress. He hit somewhere deep inside of me, “Fuck, Hannah,” and instantly stopped moving. I could feel him twitch and something filled the inside of me. That couldn’t be a good sign. Without my expecting, he pulled out of me quickly, slumping down on top of me. I winced at his weight and the pain between my legs and then burst into hysterics.

He stood up casually and began clothing himself. He looked down at me and I instantly turned my face away from him. “Look at me.” Looking up, I watched as he contained the beast that had just done such terrible things to me. My face then flickered up to his face and he was giving me a deathly glare. “You breathe a word of this to anybody,” he walked over and kneeled down next to me. I cringed away, but held his stare, clinging to my wound, “and I’ll track you down and I’ll do it again.” My eyes widened in fear as he stood up and walked towards the door. He stopped just short of it and turned around one last time. “Oh, and next time, I’ll kill you afterwards.” His voice was too casual to be human. With that, Marcus walked out the door.

I lied there, cuddling myself on the wood floor. I didn’t have enough strength left in me to move. Gathering everything that I had, I stood up and evaluated myself. My dress was in tatters and it was no longer white; it was red, covered in the blood from my wounds. I walked over and put the dead bolt on the door.

Collapsing back down to the floor, I cried before again, finding the strength to stand and I walked to the bathroom. Crawling in the tub, I turned on the shower and sat under the boiling water. I wanted it to wash everything away, but I knew that it wouldn’t. I pulled my knees to my chest, seeing as to how my legs had given out. They shook involuntarily, and I couldn’t get them to stop as I sobbed at the idea of the event that I couldn’t stop, couldn’t forget, and couldn’t ‘breathe a word about’. Right about now, I was feeling like I couldn’t breathe at all.

Notes

:"( Wtf Harry?!? Let me know what you guys think. What is Hannah going to do. Hell, what is Harry going to do? Comment, rate, subscribe. Let me know what you think :)
I promise you guys, things get better :)
xoxo Hannah <3