All These Little Things
Chapter 5: Seeing things differently
The picture was of me looking down at my feet, which were crossed over each other, and I was pulling a section of hair behind my ear while leaning against the wall. I had the biggest smile on my face.
"Uggh!" I groaned loudly. Of all the pictures, he chose this one.
Niall looked at me with discomfort.
"You don't like it?" He asked with a fake smile.
"No, I don't like any picture of me." I stated. He looked down at me and smiled.
"Tell me what you see." He said and grabbed my hand and lightly kissed it.
"Long or short version?" I asked.
"Preferably the longer version." He said. I took a deep breath in and said, "I see me, this." I gestured to myself. I looked at Niall and then back at the picture. "I see myself like I have always seen myself. Gross, disgusting, fat, unloved by guys. This is what I see, Niall. This is what I was taught to see."
He simply said, "Well, we are going to have to reteach you love."
I blushed and broke eye contact.
"You want to know what I see?" He asked and turned my head towards him so he could see my reaction to his question.
He didn't wait for me to respond and looked at the picture in his hand.
"I see your eyes." He said and I looked at him questioningly.
"I do too Niall." I said wondering what he was trying to go with.
"No, I see your eyes. When I see your eyes, they tell me you are innoccent and love many even though they don't love you back. You, you just see your eyes that have seen so much hate towards you." He didn't look at me when he said it which I was glad he didn't because tears have formed in my eyes. He was right.
He continued to look at the picture.
"I see your smile. A smile so uplifting that it makes me want to smile with you. But you see it as the smile that you faked everyday of your life." He continued.
"I see your hands. I see them as loving hands that search for the right person to hold. You see it as a weapon." By this point I was crying. Tear after tear fell down my face. How did he know? He knew so much and I barely met him. He was right, I was bullied. Everything he just said was true.
He looked at me and wipped the tears from my face.
"I see your tears. These are tears of 'awe' but you have seen them as a way to escape your problems." He smiled. He was right, the only reason I was crying was because what he just said was so beautiful and I have never thought of myself that way. I wasn't crying for the reason I normally cried but I was crying because I was in awe.
"Thank you." I whispered.
"Don't thank me love. This is what I see in you, do you see it now?" He asked. Still slightly crying, I looked at the picture and smiled. I saw what he saw. He was right. He proved to me that I was beautiful on the inside. I still didn't find my outside self attractive.
"Yes." I replied truthfully. I didn't want to spoil his little victory by saying I didn't think the outside was pretty.
He chuckled. "See? I proved it to you love." And with that he crashed his lips into mine. It wasn't anything sloppy but a passionate kiss that seen shivers down my spine, the good kind. I kissed him back and I could feel him smiling.
"Ahem!" John tried to get our attention.
Unfortunately, I pushed away from the kiss and looked down at my feet. I was finding it hard to look Niall in the eyes. I was embarrassed. My first kiss was with Niall Horan, the best kiss ever!
"Sorry John." I said filling in the awkward silience.
"No worries, anything else I could do for you today?" He asked.
I was still looking down at my feet when Niall responded to John.
"No, we got what we needed." He said and I could feel his eyes on the back of my head. I blushed when he said that. I looked up and saw him smiling at me.
"Didn't we love?" He asked me. I blushed but never broke eye contact with him. "Yes." I said shakily.
"Great!" John said,"well, I hope to see you soon!" John said and directed us to the lobby.
Niall and I walked hand in hand out the door where we were swamped with his fans.
"What are you doing with her!" "You deserve better! I mean look at her!" "She's fat, ugly, worthless!" Fans were screaming this left and right. I started to cry. I pushed through the crowd and ran down the street towards my house. I left Niall there with his fans, hoping he wouldn't try to come and find me.
"Uggh!" I groaned loudly. Of all the pictures, he chose this one.
Niall looked at me with discomfort.
"You don't like it?" He asked with a fake smile.
"No, I don't like any picture of me." I stated. He looked down at me and smiled.
"Tell me what you see." He said and grabbed my hand and lightly kissed it.
"Long or short version?" I asked.
"Preferably the longer version." He said. I took a deep breath in and said, "I see me, this." I gestured to myself. I looked at Niall and then back at the picture. "I see myself like I have always seen myself. Gross, disgusting, fat, unloved by guys. This is what I see, Niall. This is what I was taught to see."
He simply said, "Well, we are going to have to reteach you love."
I blushed and broke eye contact.
"You want to know what I see?" He asked and turned my head towards him so he could see my reaction to his question.
He didn't wait for me to respond and looked at the picture in his hand.
"I see your eyes." He said and I looked at him questioningly.
"I do too Niall." I said wondering what he was trying to go with.
"No, I see your eyes. When I see your eyes, they tell me you are innoccent and love many even though they don't love you back. You, you just see your eyes that have seen so much hate towards you." He didn't look at me when he said it which I was glad he didn't because tears have formed in my eyes. He was right.
He continued to look at the picture.
"I see your smile. A smile so uplifting that it makes me want to smile with you. But you see it as the smile that you faked everyday of your life." He continued.
"I see your hands. I see them as loving hands that search for the right person to hold. You see it as a weapon." By this point I was crying. Tear after tear fell down my face. How did he know? He knew so much and I barely met him. He was right, I was bullied. Everything he just said was true.
He looked at me and wipped the tears from my face.
"I see your tears. These are tears of 'awe' but you have seen them as a way to escape your problems." He smiled. He was right, the only reason I was crying was because what he just said was so beautiful and I have never thought of myself that way. I wasn't crying for the reason I normally cried but I was crying because I was in awe.
"Thank you." I whispered.
"Don't thank me love. This is what I see in you, do you see it now?" He asked. Still slightly crying, I looked at the picture and smiled. I saw what he saw. He was right. He proved to me that I was beautiful on the inside. I still didn't find my outside self attractive.
"Yes." I replied truthfully. I didn't want to spoil his little victory by saying I didn't think the outside was pretty.
He chuckled. "See? I proved it to you love." And with that he crashed his lips into mine. It wasn't anything sloppy but a passionate kiss that seen shivers down my spine, the good kind. I kissed him back and I could feel him smiling.
"Ahem!" John tried to get our attention.
Unfortunately, I pushed away from the kiss and looked down at my feet. I was finding it hard to look Niall in the eyes. I was embarrassed. My first kiss was with Niall Horan, the best kiss ever!
"Sorry John." I said filling in the awkward silience.
"No worries, anything else I could do for you today?" He asked.
I was still looking down at my feet when Niall responded to John.
"No, we got what we needed." He said and I could feel his eyes on the back of my head. I blushed when he said that. I looked up and saw him smiling at me.
"Didn't we love?" He asked me. I blushed but never broke eye contact with him. "Yes." I said shakily.
"Great!" John said,"well, I hope to see you soon!" John said and directed us to the lobby.
Niall and I walked hand in hand out the door where we were swamped with his fans.
"What are you doing with her!" "You deserve better! I mean look at her!" "She's fat, ugly, worthless!" Fans were screaming this left and right. I started to cry. I pushed through the crowd and ran down the street towards my house. I left Niall there with his fans, hoping he wouldn't try to come and find me.
@pennyiswildforniall
Thanks so much! I hope you enjoyed the story and I hope it made you feel some what better about yourself. that's all I wanted with the outcome of this story: to let girls know that appearance has nothing to do with the beauty you hold inside. :)
12/8/13