Punk Direction (Niall Horan love story)

“Where are you?” I heard as soon as I answered the phone
“I’m home!” I answered “Don’t be overprotective, I won’t get caught again!” I said.
Flashbacking to what happened so my boyfriend would get so possessive and overprotective? Well, after I arrived home Friday, and we went to bed, I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to go for a walk, or a run, or whatever I felt like doing once I was outside. So, I grabbed my sweatpants and a t-shirt, my sneakers and phone, and got out of the house, leaving Niall a note in case he woke up.
What happened was, when I was in the middle of my midnight run, I got surrounded and swallowed by journalists, asking me questions about Jess medical state and also about me and Niall. Yeah, I guess our romance is the ‘next big scandal’. They put it that way, I didn’t.
I guess, that because of all the ‘she’s not supposed to have sex till she’s married’ prophecy that my mom invented, I am now in the middle of a scandal. One that brings puts Nick in the middle and Jasper too. Along with Brian and Danny. I swear, all the people I care about are having problems and I can’t do anything about it. I can’t help but to feel helpless and pathetic for putting them in this situation.
Danny was involved in three scandals already, three of them not true. Everything Nick doesn’t need is his face all over the news, Jasper won’t even know what hit him, and I believe the last thing Brian need to worry about is having to explain to his sister why he is in the front cover of a magazine.
They even made an article with all the men linked to me. It made me look like a… like a hooker. Ignoring Niall and my dad, they put Nick, Jasper, Brian, the rest of the boys from the band and a bunch of people from my school I didn’t even know. Niall had been worried about it all weekend and I would do anything to take it from his mind.
He doesn’t need to be stressed about something as shallow and petty as what they write about me, but I know he is, so I want him to relax. Plus, tomorrow is Monday, the worst day of the week and I know how he hates to wake up early.
So, I’ve been arranging some things with Danny’s help and I hope it can calm him down. He really needs to. He’s so worried that he can damage my image that he hasn’t look at me straight in two days. If he did, he would notice how… glimmering I am. Danny took me to the hairdresser so we could get our hairs done, and then manicures and pedicures. And then waxing and then a big bowl of ice cream. Needless to say that the last was the best in my consideration.
I wanted to be in my best so after that… well, we went shopping, that’s all I’m gonna unveil right now.
“Wait, what home?” He asked “Why are you at your house?”
“I had to come pick some clothes up, remember?” I asked him and I heard him sighing “Can you pick me up? Danny brought me and I have no way to go back home!”
“I can be there…” He paused “…in thirty minutes?” I smiled
“Okay, I’ll be waiting in the attic okay? Just come in”
“The attic? What are you going to do in the attic?” He asked and I bit my lip. I would have to lie to him, but it was going to be for a good cause
“I have my… hum… personal art studio upstairs!” I bit my lip harder, proud at myself for the li I just invented so quickly. Hey, it was for a good cause, believe me.
“Hum… Okay I think!” He answered, clearly suspicious. I tightened the grip around the phone, the nerves already taking the best of me.
“Come quick! Please?” I pleaded, my nervousness noticeable in my voice.
I cursed myself for that, closing my eyes and then looking up to the ceiling, mouthing ‘stupid’ to myself. Now he would totally know something was wrong. He knew me as the back of his hand and now that he noticed I am nervous, he will totally ask me what’s wrong!
“Is there something wrong?” He asked me.
I told you!
The slight noise I heard behind him had now disappeared after a loud sound, like he had closed a door.
“No, nothing!” I said, looking at my feet
“Johanna…” I cut him off
“I swear! I just… miss you!” I lied, well, it wasn’t a complete lie “Where are you anyways?” I asked, hoping to change the subject
“I’m at the studio! This is crazy right now!”
“Oh!” I said, feeling a bit stupid for putting my plans ahead of his job
“But they don’t need me here!” He said
“Oh!” This one was slightly happier than the other one, okay, much more happy than the other one
“You really Miss me, Johanna Philipa Skyes?” He asked
“I do, I swear!” I said “And hey! Don’t use my full name!” I pouted
“Why?” He asked me
“Because I don’t like my middle name!” I explained
“What’s up with ‘Philipa’ anyways? I never heard anyone who was called Philipa!” Niall said
“Well, neither do I, that’s why I don’t allow ANYONE to call me Johanna Philipa Skyes!” I said “My dad chose it for me! He said it’s the feminine of Philip!” I whispered
“Okay, that’s one thing that makes me love you more!” He said and I grinned, widely
“I love you, now come home, quickly!” I pleaded again
“Okay, I’m there in twenty!” He said “I see you in your house then, bye love!”
“Bye!” I said “Niall wait!” I said before he hanged up “I love you!” ‘Stupid’ I thought to myself
“I love you…too!” He carefully said “Are you sure everything is okay?”
“Yeah!” I said low pitched “Just come home!” I hurried “Bye!” And then I hanged up
What’s up with me and all the clingy stuff. I’m not like this! I should be holding on just fine. But when I looked at my uncovered legs, I felt the cold from the nervousness install in the pit of my stomach again. The only cloths covering my body was a t-shirt that could easily be removed. That’s the point to it actually.
I blushed just from thinking about his expression when I pull that stunt on him. What if he doesn’t like it? What if I look awful on this? I swear, Danny is gonna hear it if it’s the case. I decided to choose something different for today. But my insecurities always get the best of me, that’s why when I tried to cancel all of it, Danny forced me to.
Let’s just say confidence was never my strongest point. I know I’m sure of this, but I’m scared he isn’t or he doesn’t like to see me. Sighing to myself and knowing I would disappoint myself and Danny if I didn’t, I walked up the stairs till the second floor and once there, I walked to the edge of the corridor, finding a perfect set of stairs that rarely were used for anything.
I walked up, opening the door and finding my second favorite place in the house. It wasn’t a complete lie when I told Niall my studio was up here. It was, and everywhere, my paintings and sketches were scattered on the ground. Only me and my dad know about this, it’s a ‘us’ thing.
I smiled to myself when I found my latest painting. I walked in its’ direction and grabbed the frame, pulling the painting up and supporting it in my hands. It had no concrete faces, only two people, a boy and a girl, the boy hugging the girl by behind while the girl rested against him. Ahead of them was a lake. I don’t know why I chose a lake, but I liked it at the time. And I like it now.
On the other side of the room was a painting of me and my sisters made by my dad, and one of a tiger I did when I was ten. A scenery I had done when I was seventeen was one of the lucky few who got to be hanged on the wall. An easel with a sketch of Niall’s face was resting against the wall. I had his face right, I just had to color It when I have time.
It wasn’t the least bit cozy, the attic, but it did have a cute little round shaped window no one seemed to notice from the outside. But I did! Of course I did. This place used to be impregnated with dust, everywhere. Ten minutes ago, I finished cleaning it up, every corner of it. I stole the mattress from my bed and pulled it here, so now we had a bed, and Danny bought me candles, which she delivered half and hour ago. All of them had different heights and sizes, so I displayed them on the ground, two feet away from the upper part of the mattress, wich was covered with the finest silk sheets I have and one big blanket.
I grabbed the matches from the easel and lit one, lighting as much candles as I could. When I was done, I wasted about ten matches. Yes, that was how much matches it took to light up all the candles in the room, supposing one match is enough for about four candles.
Once that was done, I threw the matches to a corner of the room and sat in the mattress, waiting. Now all I needed to do was wait. I looked outside from the small round window. It was dark outside and it only gave the room an even more romantic look. I wanted this to be perfect, special for both of us.
I heard my phone ringing on the other side of the room and sprawled in the mattress to grab it. I picked up immediately.
“Yes?” I asked
“Johanna?” It was my dad “We got a donation, they’re making the transfusion right now!” I grinned out of happiness. Nothing could make this more perfect than the news my sister would be fine “You have any idea who he or she is?”
“It’s a friend of mine, dad! God, I just hope she’s okay!” I said, running my hands in my belly.
“She’s going to be according to the doctors!” He said “Hey, where are you sweaty?” He asked
“Hum… At home, getting new clothes, why?”
“Nothing, I was just curious!” I smiled
“I’m glad she’s going to be fine dad!” I said “She has to be fine!”
“She does!” He sadly said “I will text you every hour with results okay?”
“Okay dad, bye!”
“Bye, I love you birdy!”
“I love you too!” I said before he hanged up
As soon as I did so, I heard a door slamming, and I felt every muscle in my body stiffening.
Okay, relax Johanna, you’re ready for this!
Okay, I’m ready! No I’m not! It’s going to hurt isn’t it? I’m not a sadomasochist, I don’t enjoy pain, so getting myself to relax isn’t easy at this point. I crawled till the end of the mattress and let my feet rest in the floor while my bum was in the mattress, my hands under my legs as I swung back and forth, my feet patting the ground nervously.
“Hello?” I heard someone call and knock
“C-Come in!” I managed to say
And then the door opened. It opened t find a very much gorgeous Niall, standing there, looking amazed at what happened to the attic. He saw it once, and it was really quickly, because I closed the door right after he got a peek at the insides of that room.
His eyes scattered the room, noticing every detail as I noticed they glowed and sparkled more and more by the time being. I closely looked at his face, and when his eyes found me, I swallowed and got up, standing in front of him.
The candles lighted up his face, making him look like a wax figure, wich I bet he has already, around the museums of the world. He frowned, a grin on his lips and he questioned me without saying a word.
“Hi!” I shyly said
“Hi!” His voice was so husky it was enough to make me lean a few inches in his direction. I wanted him next to me.
“I… hum…” I cleared my throat “…I wanted to do something for you, and for me! And I want this to be perfect! So I created this, with Danny’s help!” I explained, nervously putting strands0 of my hair behind my ear “She helped me with another thing too!” I said, crossing my arms in front of my chest, grabbing the end of my shirt only to pull it up seconds later.
What’s the worst that can happen right?
Well, I don’t know. Be rejected by your boyfriend, this night not going as planned and something goes wrong then! Okay, I was nervous and a lot of stuff could go wrong! What if he didn’t fit? What if I was too small? What if he didn’t want to? What if he didn’t like to see me naked?
My insecurities are getting the best of me again, and I can’t let them, because in this case, it can lead me to have a panic attack, and the last thing I need right now, is a panic attack.
When he saw my red lingerie, his jaw fell and hell, I hoped I really caused that impact and he wasn’t faking it. I saw him swallowing again, and then he took his jacket off and put it over one of the paintings, not really caring about what was going to happen to his stuff.
“You sure?” He asked me and I, even if I was really nervous, nodded.
Niall took his shoes off and his socks too, walking over the floor barefoot. I saw how he stood right in front of me, just staring at me, a dumb smile on his lips. I loved how that side smile can turn so loving when it’s really supposed to be cocky.
He raised one hand, caressing my cheek with his knuckles. I looked down while he did it, turning my gaze up to his face when the caress ended. I smiled weakly at him and swallowed. The light of the candles twitched, creating moving shadows that never stood still. That reflected in Niall’s face was amazing.
“Weren’t you supposed to wait till your wedding? Till your perfect day?” He asked me, letting his head fall to the side while the caring smile kept playing on his lips dumbly.
“There’s no such thing as a perfect moment. You’re the one in charge of making all the perfect moments in your life exist!” I explained “I want this to be one of them!”
“Me too!” He said “I may say, you did a good job!” Niall said, looking at the candles.
“It took a lot of work!” I chose to answer and Niall turned to me, smiling.
“I love you, so, so much!” He whispered in my ear, taking a step in my direction without touching me.
I smiled. I knew he loved me, and I knew I loved him. That’s all I needed to know before I went through with this, till we go ‘all the way’. I was the one who took the initiative of kissing him. Both of my hands were in his jaw and pulled his lips to mine.
Niall’s shoulders shot up and his hands did the same things as mine. My eyelids felt like feathers of so light they were, my hands were warm from touching his skin. All the skin in my body itched, craving for his touch.
“I love you too!” I said, separating our lips for a second.
Niall smiled, rising one finger and then turned to grab his phone. I frowned, looking at his back while he searched for something in his iPhone.
“There’s just one thing missing in here!” He said and my frown grew.
Suddenly, Kiss me by Ed Sheeran came out of his phone as he put it next to the candles. I swallowed, a small and shy smile on my lips. He slowly walked in my direction, grabbing my hand and bending it up, grabbing my hand, slowly making circles with his thumb that made my skin numb.
My eyes were on our hands, a simple smile on my lips as he kept caressing my hand. He grabbed the other one, and started to do the same. My head shot straight up, to look at him. He was smiling, truthfully smiling. I smiled at him too, making my arms surround his neck, even with his hands in mine. I recognize this feeling.
It’s happiness!
Niall let go of my hands and put his hands in my back, pulling me closer so we could start a kiss. Our tongues, old friends felt like they knew each other for a long time as the kiss was slow, passionate, caring.
Niall’s hands were rough against my skin. As he slowly run then over my silky skin, I felt every muscle correspond his touch the best way possible. They started on my bras’ straps, and then down, both touching the biggest amount of skin they possibly could. I felt something warm between my thighs, it wasn’t unknown, but still, I felt it. The roughness of his palms was good against me, and it wasn’t something unknown for me now. It was something I liked, something I wished for, something I anxiously awaited.
He touched the middle of my back with only the tips of his fingers, sending shivers down my spine as his tongue kept playing with mine carefully. I knew he wanted this to be a demonstration of our love, of my complete submission to him. Of me, offering myself to him. It’s supposed to be a demonstration of love, that’s why he isn’t rushing stuff.
‘I was made, to keep your body warm, but I’m cold as the wind blows, so hold me in your arms!’ Ed sang
Niall’s hands didn’t move anymore when they reached my hips. I pulled back from the kiss, already breathless, looking straightly in his eyes. Only to move them down a few seconds later. My trembling hands palmed his chest over the shirt, feeling every muscle I could under my palm. Running them down slowly, as a way of caressing him, but I stopped when I reached the end of his shirt.
I grabbed it, my hands shaking like hell, and pulled it up. Niall raised his arms to help me take his shirt off. The second his chest was exposed to me, I pulled all the air I could inside.
This is really happening! I’m really losing my virginity to Niall, today, in my attic, listening to Ed Sheeran. I felt like all my instincts were as accurate and stimulated as ever. I loved him, and I want this, although I’m nervous. So nervous, my hands feel like dry twigs.
I got in the tip of my toes, my arms around his neck. My lips touched his neck and knowing where his sweet spot was, I roamed up, till the skin behind his ear. I heard Niall’s quick breathing in my ear, some hacking moans cut in half as he tried to contain them.
Now, I roamed down, kissing the base of his neck only to move more down a few seconds later. I didn’t reach his stomach area, because we were on our feet still, but I wanted to kiss him, all of him.
Suddenly, Niall’s lips pressed against my shoulder. They didn’t move, they just stood there, pressed against my shoulder as my hands roamed down. My fingers trailed down his torso, feeling all the muscles in his belly, reacting to my touch as they retracted under my fingertips.
I stopped when I reached the button of his jeans. I unbuttoned them, and let them fall down. Niall took a step out of them, pulling me with him. His lips disconnected from my shoulder and soon, his eyes came in contact with mine. They sparkled so much, it couldn’t be natural. At this point I had no idea how much mine sparkled, I only knew they were green, greener than ever.
Niall smiled weakly as his hands roamed up to end on the clasp of my bra. I took all the air I could inside when I felt it open.
“You’re so gorgeous!” He said, pulling the strap to the side, kissing the skin were it should be before.
He did the same with the other one, and soon enough, the bra was between us. Niall became just a small bit smaller than me and I frowned as he purposely lowered himself till his hands were on my thighs. He grabbed them, pulling me up. As an instinct, I put my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck as he carried both of us to bed.
His left hand was in my nape as he carefully and gently laid me on bed. My hairs were scattered around the mattress as he pressed his body on mine. His eyes were as deep as the sea and as caring and loving as they could be.
I ran my hands up and down his arms as he struggled to kiss my neck. I pressed my head against the mattress, biting my lip so I wouldn’t moan. Niall’s kisses were starting to get sloppier and me, needy. When his lips came in contact with my collarbones, I grabbed his chin and pulled his face up so he would kiss me in the lips and not my skin.
His hands, that before were by the sides of our bodies, were now making the shape of my body, his rough hands running down my curves… until he found the beginning of my panties. And he didn’t waste time on undoing the bows they had, pushing the fabric aside. Now, I was completely naked, and he still had his boxers on.
Nervously, my hands still trembling, I grabbed the end of his boxers and pulled them down till his knees, not being capable of pushing them any further. Niall took them out of his legs, throwing them next to the pile of the other clothes on the ground.
He looked at me, and I swallowed. He caressed my cheek with his fingertips again and kissed me, his eyelids closing as he tried to feel the moment.
“Are you ready?” He asked me as he searched for something around the floor, probably one of the things he put around there when he arrived.
I nodded, not really trusting my voice. But I was sure as hell I was ready. I wanted this, he wanted this. He loved me, I loved him. What’s the insecurity for? I love him, and I know I want to do this.
In front of my eyes, appeared a wallet, his wallet. And from inside came a package, a condom package. I swallowed and Niall kissed my forehead, pulling back to protect himself. The way he opened the package with his teeth made me widen my eyes and then look down at my sex thanks to the increasing wetness. Wait, was this because he opened the package with his teeth?
I swallowed when he positioned himself between my thighs. I wanted this. I know I want this.
“Ready?” He asked me. I nodded. Niall was about to start when I spoke
“Wait!” I said quickly “Is it going to hurt?” I asked, blushing. Niall smiled weakly.
“It’s gonna hurt!” He said, nodding “Like hell, but I promise I’ll do everything I can to make it better!” I nodded.
I knew it was going to hurt already, but I had no idea it hurt that much. I mean ‘like hell’ is a lot right? I know he would never hurt me free willed, he would never. But this is necessary and I want to lose it to him.
“Okay, ready now?”
“Yes!” I said. Niall swallowed and nodded.
His eyes never left my face as he began to penetrate me. It felt awful. Awful. It hurt, and only the tip of his member was inside of me. I closed my eyes, as tightly as I could and my hands held on to the sheets.
“Ah fuck, you’re so tight!” Niall said, his hands holding my arms tightly in his huge hands. I was about to tell him he was hurting me when he pushed more inside me, pressuring.
I opened my mouth widely, getting ready to yell. Niall didn’t allow that as he kissed me, keeping me from making any sound.
It felt so odd, like it wasn’t supposed to be happening. Like sex wasn’t supposed to happen, never. Maybe he didn’t fit? Or he wasn’t a match for me? Or maybe it was because it’s my virginity. I only knew it hurt and I wasn’t liking it.
If this is sex, Danny lied to me, and Niall liked something that I didn’t. I hope this isn’t what sex is all about or I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint Niall, and Danny. And my parents because I’m not giving them grandchildren the traditional way. I felt every muscle I had, being stretched so he could fit inside me, only to tighten around him again once he was accepted. It hurt!
I closed my eyes, turning my face to the left side and letting a groan escape thanks to the pain.
“Relax love!” Nialls said as he slowly kept penetrating me, till the end “It’ll be easier, I promise!”
I nodded, opening my eyes to look at him. His face was a mix of pleasure and pain. Pleasure because I was sure he was enjoying it, pain because I wasn’t. I felt awful for ruining his moment, but it wasn’t something I was used to, I was new to this, and this hurt me for now.
“Look, we can finish another day and…” He was about to pull out when my hands flew to his back
“No, we started it, we finish it okay?” I whispered. Niall nodded “Just do it all at once so it hurts all at the same time!” I said
“But … Johanna it’ll…” I cut him off
“Please Niall!” I begged
“Okay!” He nodded
He held his body weight in his forearms as he looked into my eyes. I closed mine, just to try and get used to the fact that more pain is coming. Suddenly, I felt it, I felt him all inside me. And it hurt like hell. It felt like he tore me apart inside. I pulled all the air I could inside, only to let it go out as a scream, a loud, feminine scream.
“Shit!” Niall said, his expression full of agony
He didn’t knew, and I didn’t knew it was going to hurt this much neither. I couldn’t cry, not because I didn’t want to, but because I never cry with physical pain, not like this anyway. I swallowed, hugging him closer so he could comfort me. He did, he ran his hands over my hair, caressing it. He should be going mental just to move inside me, but still, he didn’t, he waited.
“Johanna…” He said “Please, let’s just stop this, we’ll end it another day!” He said
“No!” I said “I want this!”
“But you’re in pain!” He said, frowning
“But you’re not!” I said “I want to do this for you!”
“You should be doing this for you!” Niall explained “And if it’s gonna hurt…”
“It’s gonna hurt rather I like it or not!” I explained, now a bit more calmer since the pain was starting to wear off
“You’re right!” He sighed “But I never wanted to hurt you!” He whispered
“I know Niall!” I said, resting my forehead on his
“You think you can handle it?” He asked me and I nodded
And he moved, back and forth, as slowly as someone can. His thrusts were slowly, caring, but it still felt like he was tearing me apart inside. I wanted this to end, as soon as possible. And just as I thought it would be all about pain, I felt something cold in the pit of my stomach, making me moan loudly. Wow! Just like that? I felt something good, like really good, something that was stimulating my senses.
I guess I focused so much in the pain that I ignored the pleasure completely. But that’s me, I normally ignore the good part. I hugged Niall, my head pressing on the mattress with every new thrust he gave. It hurt a little, but it was something I could take and I was actually enjoying it. When Niall held my arms tightly, I thought about telling him he was hurting me, but when he pushed again, I scratched his back as tightly as I could, moaning, my torso now erect, wanting to feel him faster.
Sometimes, Niall let out loud moans or low ‘yes’s with a husky voice that made me roll my eyes in my orbs out of pleasure. My body went back and forth in the sheets ad his moves were starting to get more and more violent. My legs hugged him closer by his waist, my heels touching his lower back.
The only thing heard now, was our fast breaths. I could tell my hacking moans and fast, aching breaths were making Niall go mental, but I wasn’t doing it on porpoise. On the beginning, this was something I thought it was going to hurt, only hurt, but now… Jesus Christ!
It feels so good, and so right. I have no idea why I didn’t gave myself to him faster if it was going to be like this. Everything’s perfect, he’s perfect. And we just made our perfect moment. Something was being build in the pit of my stomach, something I knew the feeling of. But I wanted this to take longer, I wanted this to last forever. I want him with me longer.
“You can let go! It’s okay!” Niall said, a smile on his lips.
I arched my body, my breasts pressed against his chest as a louder moan came out of my mouth. I felt cold and all my muscles stiffened for about fifteen seconds, only to relax after. And I felt something warm inside me. Niall had reached his orgasm as well.
I smiled, no, I grinned and closed my eyes, resting back in the mattress. I was happy, because, even if it hurt, it was an intimate moment I surely wanted to repeat with him, even if it hurts this much. Niall caressed my cheek with his knuckles, making me open my eyes slowly. I smiled at him, looking in his eyes. I raised a hand too, caringly caressing his cheek and moving up to his hairs.
My grinning must have been contagious, because Niall was grinning widely as well. I giggled loudly, hugging him as closely as I could. He was still inside me, and I didn’t mind, it didn’t hurt now, only when he was penetrating me. Now, I just feel like my heart was swollen and a endless happiness is running in my veins.
I love him!
I love him!
I fucking love him!
My hands insisted on caressing his nape, were some short hairs were. I kissed his shoulder, repeatedly, and Niall rested his head over my collar bones.
“You’re so special love!” He said.
I could tell by his voice that he was tired. But one thing I could sense in his voice, besides happiness, was love. He laughed out of a sudden
“I always say, there are two things you always want to do again after you try them!” I frowned
“And they are?” I asked
“Sex and sleep!” I laughed and leaned to kiss his lips
“I love you Nialler!”
“I love you too Speedy!” He whispered against my lips.
And that was the end of my Sunday night. I just lost my virginity, and even if it hurt at first, it was the most incredible feeling EVER.

Notes

I don't even know what to say after this :D