His house was dark, the scent of old wood, like the sun didn’t came in there for a long time was strong. Everything was out of place! There were broken glasses and smashed paintings that before adorned the white walls, everything scattered around the floor. There were some broken windows and the blinds were broken too. The smell of alcohol impregnated the air along with the old smell. I actually got scared of walking in. “I’m sorry for the mess I made!” he said and looked at the ground next “Both ways!” I sighed this time.
I looked down too and he sighed again, pulling me towards the stairs. I didn’t knew what he was going to do with me but I was expecting. He closed us inside his room. I remember how loved I felt the last time I was in here, in his bathroom. Is he trying to repeat the same?
He sighed, probably noticing my deplorable state, not really happy about it. I don’t blame him, I wasn’t happy about myself neither and having him pointing that out, even if it’s just with his eyes, isn’t helping very much. What was he trying to do? I had no idea.He walked towards me and grabbed my hand, kissing it.
“What do you need?” He quietly asked. I frowned “My mom always said that when you really care for someone, their happiness is important!” He sighed “Your happiness is important to me and you know it so, what do you need?” I dared to let a tear escape my eyes and looked up to meet his glaze. His lower lip trembled and I could tell by his expression this hurt him.
“I need to feel loved, because I don’t feel loved, because I think you don’t love me and now, all I want is to be good enough for you!” I sobbed and he got closer. His hands pulled my face up to meet his eyes.
“You’re everything I ever wanted! Everything I’ll ever want! It’s you…” He paused “There’s nothing else out there for me, it’s you!” My body trembled and he joined our foreheads “I really need to show you that I love you and I have to do it the only way I know how! But I really do love you, more than I would actually like, more than it’s healthy for someone, more than I should! Every single day I thought about running from you, about forgetting you existed. That only made me love you more, and how could I live without your smile, without your so pleasure full loud laugh or your smart sense of humor?” He mouthed and I sighed “The instinct of running and the necessity I had to stay made me realize I really did love you, and I still do, very much!” He paused and sighed “My heart is like a sunflower Johanna, I’ll die without my sun, and you’re my sun. I’m drowning without you, I need you, I do, every day of my fucking miserable life!” He said “You’re the only thing that tones the suffering down, something that’s not pills, drugs or booze! You’re my favorite brand of problem poison and I need you, all the time! I know I was a coward, I know I was weak, but I really need you to forgive me! I need to see in your eyes that you love me! Do you?” He looked into my eyes and I froze.
Sure I love you dumbass, why do you think I’m like this? I look like a rag doll, with nothing but bones underneath my skin since the food that came into my system freely and without my warning came back out. I sighed and closed my eyes, joining our foreheads again and rapping my hands around his neck.
“Of course I love you Niall, I love you since the first time I saw you in that concert!” I admitted “Why would I be like this if I didn’t still love you?” I asked, opening my eyes and finding his blue one’s sparkling with content “I look like a rag doll while you look like Adonis!” Niall looked at the ground and I followed his eyes
“You know, I’ve been lied down, right here in this room, right on the ground beneath us, hugging a bottle of whiskey or vodka or whatever it was. I stood there, looking at the ceiling, feeling miserable for letting you go!” He pressed his eyes shut “I stood here a few inches away from my comfy bed, feeling every pump of blood my heart gave hurting my soul. I had no one now and the pain came back with so much strength, it scared me. When I didn’t have you around and the pain came back to me, it scared me. I cried!” I closed my eyes when he opened his, pressing them in a torturous way. I didn’t want to know he cried, it hurts “I cried for you!”
I finally opened my eyes to look at him. His expression was closed and hurt, just like I would guess mine should be. I hugged him closer, wrapping my hands around his waist now. I know it’s going to be hard to trust him like I did before, to believe he loved me, but we were here for him to show me.
“Hey!” He called when my look was drifting towards the floor. He held my chin up to him and smiled “I love you!” I smiled widely and wrapped my legs around his waist tightly. He held my waist.
He sat on the bed and smiled at me. After I smiled back, I started playing with the shape of his face. I grabbed his lips first, pulling them to me with my fingers, twitching them. He groaned in pain and I laughed, letting go of his hand. Then, I grabbed his nose and he let out a laud laugh by the nose echo through the room, narrowing his eyes and making the dimple in his right cheek show. I let go of his nose and grabbed some of his hairs, playing them around my fingers, caressing him softly. His eyes closed and he moaned loudly, making me get red.
“I like when you do that!” He moaned ad I smiled, keeping the caressing in his hairs. His thumbs made circles against the skin of my hips and I moaned this time, closing my eyes too. I let my chin fall in his shoulder and kept the caressing part, making circles with my right hand in his nape. He sighed and let his chin fall in my shoulder too. I tighten my legs around him and he smiled against my exposed neck “You’re so soft!” He whispered in a low, sexy tone that made me swallow “Let me touch your skin! Please!” He begged, his breathing heavy somehow “Can I?”
“Y-Yes!” I gasped and he pulled back, looking into my eyes. There was no point on denying that my body was anxious for move of his touch, a type of touch only his hands in my skin could give. He kissed the tip of my nose cutely and took one hand to my shoulder.
Slowly, he moved down one of the straps down with one of his fingers, gently caressing the pale skin and getting my all body filled with goose bumps. He took the strap out of my arm and proceeded to the other one, leaving a soft kiss where the strap should be before he moved it down as gently as he did with the other one, making the roughness of his hands evident to me. When both of the straps were out of my arms, Niallpulled the fabric from my belly to take it from underneath the shorts and grabbed the end, pulling it up, slowly unveiling my white bra. I raised my hands for him to take the shirt over my head and off my body.
His eyes showed adoration when he looked at my body, but I knew he was also sad for my bones being so exposed. He smiled widely at me and looked down to fox his eyes in my chest, slowly moving down till the white braw I was wearing and then till my belly button. Then, he made the way up towards my face that already showed signs of embarrassment.
He smiled cutely and shook his head negatively, like he just told himself a joke. His hand rose and put some hairs that have fell in front of my face behind my ear. From my ear, his hand descended till my cheek, the palm opened, hugging my cheek. I pressed my cheek more against his huge palm, just to feel the warmth, my eyes closed with the porpoise of enjoying the moment and the warmth.
His hand moved, for my discontent, and it land on my lips. He ran his rough index finger over my mouth and then, he made the outlines of my lips. I wanted to cringe thanks to the look in his eyes. They were smiling to me and a feel of admiration and love flooded my body. I felt loved with only one look from him and I was sure that one wasn’t fake. He raised the other hand to my cheek and put the one that was making the contour of my lips in my cheek too. He held my face between his hands in front of his face and smiled.
He held my head while he kissed my lips softly, calmly, lovingly. I opened a gap between my lips when his tong licked my lower lips, provoking me. His tong entered my mouth, exploring what was his and only his, exploring what he knew he was the first one to explore. He moaned when his tong found mine. He disconnected our lips only to talk, making his lips brush mine every time he spoke one word.
“I missed you…” He breathed “So much!” He kissed me again and slowly turned us around, making my back hit the mattress.
I sunk in there, and the only thing that was protecting me from drowning were his arms that were now around my waist. My breathing ceased and my finger tips were numb from touching his skin. My heart seemed to want to come out through my mouth or burst out of my chest while his arms were surrounding my waist now. Our lips were separated by him and, when I opened my eyes, in the darkness of the room, his eyes were the only thing I could see properly.
I could see how sparkly they were, how hot and burning with desire they were. But he quickly closed them, dragging his lips across the extension of my neck. I moaned, pulling his head more to my neck, and, as a response, he let a wet kiss in my neck, close to my right scapula. He dragged his lips to my shoulder, kissing the skin softly, like the minimum inch of untouched skin would kill him.
He kissed my left shoulder, slowly moving upwards till he found my neck again. He kissed behind my ear, finding a sweat spot and making me moan loudly against him, while holding to his hairs with one hand, the other one desperately tried to pull the covers, squeezing them between my hands. My eyes were closed, feeling every touch of his lips on mine skin, afraid this was just a dream.
From my ear he kissed down till my chest, pressing kisses all over the area. My hands were running out of blood from holding so tight on the cover and the knots should be blank from holding it so tightly. Niall opened his eyes and looked directly at mine, prove he really knew who I was, but he looked like he was in some kind of transe.
“Niall!” I called low pitched “Who am I?” He blinked
“You’re the woman I love! You’re Johanna!” I smiled in relief and he gave me a huge smile in turn, looking in my eyes “Your eyes are green!” He said low pitched, in that sexy tone again.
I smiled shyly, looking to my chest to hide the color of my cheeks from him. He pressed his lips in my forehead and I smiled wider, now able to look at him. He let his body, who was previously being held by his arms in board position, rest on mine, our pelvis touching.
I let out a sigh that was covering up to a moan with the help of the biting in my lower li thanks to my teeth. Niall smiled against my left shoulder where he was recently kissing again. His hands were landed next to the band of my bra and slowly traveled down, towards my waist. But it looked like he wanted to feel every single bone in my body, every single inch of flesh my body had to offer, it was like he was trying to memorize my body.
He pressed himself more in me, only out chests weren’t touching each other. I felt like jelly underneath him and he was able to tear from me another moan. This was stressful, and the rhythm my heart was pounding, I was close to having a heart attack. I could feel it everywhere, in my chest, in my neck, in my ears in my wrists… I could feel my heartbeat everywhere. Niall Horan was brining my heart to life again after a week of its dead.
I could feel him in my crotch and it only made me moan louder when I did it. Niall let out a snort and the air collided with my shoulder, making me get goosebumps. His lips descended till the valley between my breasts since the straps of my bra were completely annoying him, and now the entire bra was now getting on his nerves.
“Can I take your bra off?” He asked, slightly embarrassed and I got red.
The idea of being naked in front of a guy is completely weird to me, completely naked anyways. I had the idea that I wouldn’t be as good as the other girls and he would criticize me for that and he wouldn’t want to look in my face again. I didn’t felt like I was good enough for him, just like he felt like he wasn’t good enough for me.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking me in the eyes.
“I’m afraid…” I sighed
“You don’t have to be afraid, I love you and you’re beautiful! If you don’t want to, you don’t need to!” I looked at his eyes and they were sparkling, just like the stars outside tonight.
I sat in the bed and he sat on top of me, my lower part being pressed against the mattress. My hands slowly moved to the right white strap and took it off my arm, then, the other one roamed to the left strap and took it off too. With a sigh, my hands roamed to the clasp of my braw, bending my arms in a totally uncomfortable position to unlock it. When I did, quickly grabbed the front, keeping it from falling and unveiling my breasts.
I took a glance at him. An unnatural sparkle glowed in his eyes, admiration, adoration and, more important that all of it, love! Yes, I was completely sure he loved me and I was completely sure I love him too. With a sigh of happiness, I let the fabric that was covering my breasts fall down.
As it did, I noticed Niall’s breath ceasing. His lips were sealed and his nose didn’t move, not revealing if he really was breathing or not. The bra was now between the two of us, in his lap. His eyes sparkled and the sparkle they sent was so powerful, I cringed. One of his hands was in my back, the other one in my left thigh. He leaned, making me lie against the mattress.
His eyes were glued on mine, sparkling and smiling, but they left my eyes to look at my chest. His lips pressed against my skin again, in the place they left before I took my braw off. His lips descended the valley between my breasts, shamelessly licking the skin. My hands were tightening the covers again and I only noticed my eyes were closed when I opened them, when one of my nipples was in his mouth.
My eyes widened and, when I looked down, his were closed. I gasped when he sucked the first time, and I felt it in my crotch. My all skin was numb and waited for his touch, desperately. He sucked on my nipple again and held my thigh hard, making me moan loudly. I could feel his hardness over my intimacy and it was driving me mad.
“You’re so pretty!” He whispered and pulled my nipple between his teeth, making me moan loudly with my eyes wide open “And you’re mine!” He claimed-
“I’m yours!” I breathed, closing my eyes again, trying to enjoy even the smallest spark of pleasure he had to offer me.
He stretched my nipples and, in a completely useless attempt of distracting myself of how much I was liking it, I was squeezing his hairs in my hands now. Somehow, thanks to me, prying in his ear, he was getting harder over me and his pelvis was glued on mine. Every second I could feel it growing, and it was driving me to madness.
The air in the dark bedroom was suddenly hot and it was hard to breath. I could feel my body creating a thin layer of sweat between me and him, between my skin and his touch and I wasn’t liking it. I let out a roaring and Niall looked up, letting go of my nipple. He looked at my forehead and smiled, clearly contented with his work. He moved to the other nipple, making continuous and torturing slow movements. His hand that was in my thigh, travelled towards my waist again.
He tighten it while his tong moved around my nipple, making me gasp and look at the ceiling, praying to God he wouldn’t stop. My legs were now completely deprived of any type of movement and were also numb from the lack of blood.
Niall’s tong was warm against my nipples and it was making me go mad and, when I was somehow feeling hotter that I have felt till here, he stopped. I groaned and he smiled widely, completely happy with the work he had done. He raised his hand and cleaned my sweaty forehead. I smiled, tanking him and he gave my smile back.
He grabbed the ends of his own shirt, crossing his arms against his waist and pulling his shirt up, taking it out of his body. His pale skin was now touching mine. His eyes were at the same level as mine, his chest pressing on mine and his crotch showing me how he was feeling.
“You’re so beautiful!” He said, raising one hand to caress my cheek sweetly. I smiled
“Look who’s talking!” He laughed out loud, happy and amused
“Here!” He said, leaving my eyes and descending till his head was between my breasts. I frowned, not knowing where he was going with this, so I held my body in my elbows to look at him. As soon as I did so, he started kissing my belly till my belly button, following a guide line he had draw himself. The kissed were only making my body temperature getting even hotter, if that was possible, and I moaned.
The shorts were now bothering me down there and I needed to take them off as fast as I could. When I moved under Niall, they brushed against my crotch, unveiling that I really was aroused. A scratchy moan left my mouth when Niall licked the lower part of my belly, next to the button of my shorts.
I suddenly felt freer when the button of my shorts was opened. They were quickly pulled down my legs and Niall took them out of me, throwing them across the room. He crawled back to me. His erection was now pressed on me, again, but I still felt like there was too much clothes between us.
Niall smiled when my hands roamed towards the button of his pants and opened it. He pulled them down himself and let them rest in his knees. He was wearing a pair of Calvin Klein black boxers and hell, they looked good on him. He smiled provocatively and kissed my lips, only clashing them for a couple of seconds.
He pulled back to look at me and grabbed my waist, crawling on top of me. For a moment, I thought he was going to take my panties off since his hands were over the band, but he didn’t. He looked me deep in my eyes.
“I need to tell you that, the first time we make love to each other, I want you to be sure I love you! I won’t let you make love to me when you have doubts!” If your saying this to me I don’t have any type of doubt, I wanted to say but I didn’t “But I want to give you your first orgasm!” He stated, pressing his defined chest over mine, pressing himself in me. I closed my eyes and moaned with the close up of our bodies. I felt my nipples were hard against his chest and he moaned in appreciation “And I want to make it like this!”
He started moving up and down against me, thrusting against my intimacy. I gasped the first time, but gradually, I started moaning like a child, holding on to his hairs for my life. He moved his hips towards me in a perfect timing, always consensual, always the same rhythm. Slowly and carefully, trying not to hurt me in any movement he might do. His hands tightened my hips as he moved, trying to keep me in place because I moved too much under him.
I tried to stay still, but I needed to move, and moan loudly too. He kept pressing himself on me and that only ripped moans from both of us. Both of my hands ran down his back between thrusts, my fingers brushing the skin softly, until he thrust again and, unconsciously, I scratched his back. Niall arched his body over mine, moaning both in pain and pleasure, howling towards the ceiling. He thrust again, hard and making me gasp. His hands held my waist tightly. I was getting a mark in there, that’s for sure, but he wouldn’t get rid of some marks that were made by my small nails neither.
A roar of angriness came from his mouth and something warm made itself be noticed. I sighed, feeling everything inside of me tighten and a pleasure full cold running up my belly and spreading around my body.
I had reached my orgasm! Niall made me cum!
He sighed, letting his body collapse on mine and his chin held on my chest. I smiled sweetly while he had his eyes closed, notably tired. My hands roamed towards his hairs while he had his eyes like that, closed. I started playing with the wet threads of blond hair, curling them around my finger. A vague smile was on his lips. I leaned in, my breath still irregular, and kissed is cheek, taking longer than needed. My kisses went south, where I kissed his ear and then down, kissing all his jaw. The vague smile only got bigger and bigger the minute I pursued with the kisses. I roamed towards his chin and then up, ending on his lips. When I looked at his eyes, he was watching me closely and I smiled widely.
“I love you!” He whispered
“I know!” He smiled so widely I think his muscles would tear apart.
He sat over me in a moment of happiness and left small kisses on my lips. Repeatedly and strongly.
“Tell me!” He kissed me again “I want to heat it!” He kissed me
“I love you!” I giggled “I love you, I love you, I love you!” He smiled even wider, if that’s possible.
He hugged me tightly, holding my body against his and turned me around. I was now on top of him. I smiled, kissing his cheek again. I can’t seem to hold on to any type of feeling when I’m with him.
I opened my legs and put them around his waist, sat in his lower belly. I sighed, feeling completely happy. I didn’t know this type of happiness existed in this world, it’s just so… overwhelming!
Niall held my waist, making circles with his thumbs and I smiled shyly, remembering I had no bra on. I quickly got up from the bed and looked around for it. It had fallen down the bed. I grabbed it and was about to put it on when two hands stopped me from doing it.
“I want to do it!” He said
“Why?”I frowned, turning to him
“Think about this with me. It’s funny how people help each other taking the clothes off before having sex, but after, each one of them get dressed by himself. It’s a sign of lack of love, and I don’t want that, not between us!” He made me turn and put the bra over my breasts, closing the clasp. While I put the clasp on, he was looking for something in his wardrobe.
He turned around with a pair of black boxers and a long t-shirt. He walked towards me and stopped about two steps away. The shirt was slipped down my body, ending in between my thighs. He took the hair band from my hair, letting it flow loose and landing in my shoulders.
“Beautiful!” He said, kissing my nose “And mine!” I giggled and nodded
“Yours!” I calmed him and he smiled
“I’ll just take a quick shower okay?” I nodded and he disappeared into his bathroom.
I let my body fall back in the bed and let out a huge sigh. I was now completely sure Niall Horan truly loved me and I loved him back. It’s all that mattered… We loved each other!

Notes

So, this was my first time writing something like this, so don't kill me K?
I'll probably tame more time updating this week, that's why I updated so fat this weekend!
Everybody saw SOML video right? C'mon Directioners family, we need to break the record!!!