I really need to make up my mind. And fast.

---

After a while I'm still not asleep.


Tomorrow is Christmas shopping, I don't even know what to get for everyone.
Well, Nikki and Mike is easy. For Ashton, well, I'll figure something out.


For mum and dad... I don't even want to get them a present. They don't even deserve one. They've been fighting for the whole year, making me, but mostly Mike, miserable. I think back to all the times that I found Mike curled up in my bed, red puffy eyes and soft sobbing. Parents fighting downstairs.


No, I'm not gonna get them a present.
They can fuck off.. Both of them...


Damn, I'm having such a Christmas spirit this year.
I grumble and turn around again, falling asleep...



I wake up when Mike bursts into my room.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" I groan.


He holds a finger to his lips and I lift one eyebrow.
"Michaaaaeeeeeel!" I hear Calum yell.


Mike smirks and stays quiet.
Suddenly there's a knock on my door.


Mike quickly runs to my bed and crawls under it.


"Please, play along." He whispers.
I sigh and mumble a 'fine'.


I lift up my shirt and wait for Calum to walk in.
When he does I pretend to be shocked.


"Calum?! What the fuck are you doing?! Get out!" I yell.
He startles for a second before smirking.


"Like I said May, it's nothing I haven't seen before." He smirks.
"That doesn't mean that you need to see it again." I spat.


He walks further into my room and sits down on a chair.
"I wanna talk." He mumbles.


"I want you to go away."
"I'm not going before we've talked."


"We just did, now go."
"You know what I mean..." He sighs.


"Just say whatever you need to say and then go." I roll my eyes.
"I just wanted to say.. That I'm sorry... that I hurt you. It was never my intention.. I just got scared when Ashton was after you."


"You got scared?" I lift my eyebrows.
He just sighs and nods.
"Look at the guy May. He's was better looking than me, he's smarter, he's just better."


"So? That's a reason to just walk away?"
"No! Of course not, but I didn't know what to do.. I didn't know what I could do..."


"Well, if you just told me than this wouldn't have happened!"
He looks at me for a second.


"What wouldn't have happened?" He asks, suspicion in his voice.
"And that's, none of your business."


"It is now, tell me, what wouldn't have happened?" A dangerous tone appears in his voice that gives me chills across my back.


"Nothing. That. You. Need. To. Know."


I remember that Mike is still under the bed.


Fuck.


"Calum. Go away."
"But Ma-"


"I said go!"
He sighs and leaves.


A few seconds later I hear the front door slam shut and Mike crawls form under the bed.


"What the fuck was that?!?!" Mike yells at me.
I sigh and don't dare to look at him.


"Uh... Cal and I had something for a while..." I decide to be honest.
"You've had 'something' behind my back?!"


I nod my head.
"We knew you wouldn't like it.. So we decided to keep it a secret until we knew how to tell you. But we broke up before we figured it out.. So there was no point in telling you anymore."


"And why did you break up?"
"He thinks I have feelings for Ashton."


"Well, do you?"
"No." I lie.


"Why don't I believe a shit form that?"
I sigh. Why can't I lie to him?


"I don't know if I'm having feelings for him." I admit.
"Well be sure you don't." He turns around and walks away.


Well, that's one person who I pissed off.


Can't wait to see mum and dad's face when they see that I didn't buy them anything.


The next day I went Christmas shopping and wrapped every present I bought.


A few days after that all the presents are wrapped, laying under the Christmas tree.


Mike still hasn't talked to me but in the afternoon he comes running down with his presents and lays them under the tree too.


He smiles
"It's Christmas Eve." He smiles.


I smile and nod my head too.
I see that he did buy mum and dad a present.


He walks to the kitchen where my mum is cooking the dinner.


I hear her yell at Mike and a little later he comes back chuckling with some food in his hands.
I roll my eyes and wait for the rest to come.


First up is Nikki.
She smiles as she walks in and puts the presents she bought for me and Mike under the tree.


She immediately notice that I didn't buy my mum and dad a present.
"Where are those?" She asks.


"I didn't buy them one." I say softly.
"But it's Christmas! Have you any idea how miserable it would make Mike if you and your parents were fighting on Christmas Eve?!"


I sigh and nod my head.
"I realised that this morning, a little late.."


"And we don't have some last minutes DIY's for parents?" She asks.
I shake my head.


She sighs too.
"Last minute mall?" She tries.


I look at the time. 6pm.
"Can't. They closed early today."


We both sigh.
"Well, this is going to be an interesting night." She comments.


I nod my head and hear a knock on the door.
I walk to it and open it.


"Hey Ashton." I let him in.
"Cutie." He kisses my cheek.


"These are for you." He holds up a bouquet of soft pink roses.
"How cliché." I smirk.


"But they're very pretty. Thank you Ashton." I add smiling, actually loving that he bought me roses.
I kiss his cheek and walk to the kitchen.


"From who are those?" My mum smirks as I fill a vase with water and put them in there.
"From Ashton." I smile.


"Mike's friend Ashton?"


I nod my head.
"As a 'thank you' that could join tonight." I smile.


"Well that's nice, I'm cooking my ass off for everyone including him and he gets you roses." She rolls her eyes.
I laugh and walk away.


I put them on the table in the living room.
"Ashton?" Nikki guesses.


I nod my head.
A few seconds later Ash and Mike walk in.


"From who are those?" Mike asks.
"I bought them as a 'thank you' that I could join tonight." Ash answers before I can.


"You're always welcome here." Mike shrugs.
Ashton smiles and looks at me.


I smile back and take Nikki's arm.
"I just remembered some last minute presents." I whisper and we run upstairs.


"It needs to be here somewhere!" I say as I go through to my closet once again.
"You looked in that thing 3 times." Nikki sighs.


"I swear, I have a watch for my dad from last year! I didn't give it since Mike came up with the idea to buy a present together."
"Maybe you threw it away."


"No, it needs to be here somewhere."
"It's not gonna work May, just drop it. It's one Christmas out if many."


I sigh and nod my head.
We walk back downstairs.


"Just on time for dinner." My mum smiles as we walk into the kitchen.
"Take a seat." She gestures to the chairs.


We take our seat and a few seconds later Ashton and Mike join.
Ashton takes his seat in front of me and Mike sits in front of Nikki.


My mum and dad are both at a head of the table.
We silently begin to eat.


I look up to Ashton and he pulls a funny face.
I try to hold in my laugh and eat on.


After a few seconds he tries it again and this time I let out a giggle.
He smiles and does it again.


"Stop I'm trying to eat!" I giggle.
He chuckles and everyone looks at us for a second.


"What's wrong?" Nikki asks to me.
"He's making faces at me and I'm trying to eat. But I can't eat if he keeps making me laugh!"


"Then we switch places." Mike says and switches places with Ashton.
Ashton winks at me while taking a seat.


I laugh silently and we eat on.


My dad makes a conversation with Nikki while my mum is busy with talking to Ashton.
I try to listen to both, but that doesn't go really well.


Anyway, because Nikki and Ashton don't stay for the night we decide to unpack the presents on Christmas Eve, instead of Christmas morning.


We all sit down in the living room and I feel the nerves slowly killing me.


First up is Mike.


He hands everyone his presents.
I open up a little present.


Inside are the headphones that I've been asking for months.
"MIKEEYYY YOU'VE GOT THEM FOR MEEE!!" I yell and run to hug him.


"You're welcome." He chuckles.


I see that Ashton got the band t-shirts and try to look at Nikki's present. It's a beautiful golden necklace with a heart. In the heart are tiny crystals placed. The crystals form a curl together that goes down the side of the heart.


That must've really costed something.
I smirk at Mike and he glares at me, warning me not to say anything about it.


Next up is Nikki.
She hands me her present and wiggles her eyebrows.


I shake my head a little before opening it.


"You didn't." I say while I gasp.
"I did." She smirks.


"EEEEEEE." I jump up and down.


I open the box and take a pair of heels out if it.
"You bought me the new heels we saw at the mall!!!!" I squeal and gaze at how beautiful they are.


"No problem." She smirks.
"Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank yoouuu." I hug her and she laughs before hugging me back.


After Mike and Ashton had opened up their presents too it's my turn.
I hand my gifts to Nikki, Mike and Ashton.


Everyone except Nikki waits for me to hand my parents a present too.


I just sit there awkwardly, preparing for what I'm gonna tell them when Nikki answers for me.
"The presents for you have been a bit delayed but they'll come in a few days." She smiles politely at my parents.


"No Nikki, it's okay." I sigh.
"I didn't got you a present." I mumble.


My parents look at each other. Not wanting to be rude but still wanting an explanation.


"Because.." I continue.
"You've been fighting all year.. I got mad and decided that I don't think that you deserve a present. I got mad when I thought about all the times Mike was curled up in my bed crying because you were fighting.. I just.." I stop talking and swallow back tears.


I see also see tears in Mike's eyes and my parents are stunned.


"I'm sorry." I excuse myself and run upstairs...

Notes