Beating Heart

//it would be impossible to move on if you were gone//


//Harry//
The pink fabric slid from her fingertips and sank to the floor, pooling around her feet. I held my breath as my eyes sinfully examine her gorgeous body. She wasn’t completely bare, but it is definitely the most of her skin I had ever seen. Her long, golden blonde locks fell down her back as she flicked her hair over her shoulders. She’s gorgeously incredible – from her smooth, milky white skin, to the dimples at the bottom of her back. I lick my lips at the magnificent sight of her bum – wide hips, round cheeks. Perfect.

My brows furrow as I watch her raise her hand up in front of her, it didn’t take but a moment to realize she was trying to cover her stomach. I could sense her nervousness, and the sound of her unsteady heartbeat made me start to worry about what she was thinking. Is she embarrassed by the little pudginess because it’s certainly nothing disturbing – it’s adorable, actually. “Julianne.” I said aloud – her body immediately tenses up.

A suffocating silence stood with us in the room. After a few moments, I assume she isn’t planning on speaking back to me. Instead of waiting any longer, I start to close the distance between us – my weighted steps breaking the cold silence. My hands extend out to her as I get closer, I need to hold my angel and let her know she’s perfect the way she is. The moment my palms grab her bare sides is the same exact second that my heart bursts. This is all mine, she’s all mine.

“Stop that.” I use a soft tone as I lean to her ear. I push her hand away from her stomach before sliding my arms around her waist. Gently, I sit my chin on her exposed shoulder. There’s something about her that makes every piece of my soul crave her. The undying desire I have to touch her and to hold her is killing me every day. This is my girl, how come I’ve been so afraid to put my hands on her like this? Clearly, she doesn’t mind or else she would have stopped me or said something. I sit my hands low on her abdomen, her skin is cold and covered in goosebumps.

“You’re beautiful to me.” I breathe out as I allow my lips to explore the side of her warm neck, kissing ever centimeter of her pale skin. Her small hand snakes around my wrist, the other grasping my arm. “So precious, darlin’.” My voice is low as I let the words flow from my mouth, a feathery pleased sigh escapes her lips, causing me to melt onto her. God she does wondrous things to me. I search for a soft spot of her skin, trying to find the perfect spot to cherish for a few minutes.

I allow my teeth to lightly slide against a spot, making my love jump in her own skin. There’s the spot. “You trust me?” I find myself asking her – the wolf living in my soul is howling, greatly pleased by what’s occurring now. My lips never part from her beautiful skin. Julianne sharply gasps, mostly out of shock I’m sure, when I start to suck on that spot. “Yes.” She answers, her head falling back against me. I smirk gently as her nails dig into my forearm while I perform an act of pleasure on her gorgeous body. She trusts me, but I don’t want a simple answer. I need to know that she does, I need to hear her speak those words to me – so I know it’s true.

“Tell me that you trust me.” My lips lift from her skin for a few seconds, but not for long because it’s fucking hurting me already. She makes an absurd noise as I start to suckle on her soft spot once more, the bruise is starting to form already. “I.. Harry.. I trust… I trust you.” Her shaky voice enters the air, giving me assurance now and what I consider permission. My lips free that poor, sensitive spot. Julianne lets out a sigh, as if she was relieved by that. I reach my hand up and collect her soft hair. I toss it over her other shoulder, I need a clear canvas to work on – I want her skin in my mouth, not pieces of her hair.

Not even a second later, my mouth is attached to her neck. I lay my tongue on her sweat coated skin and I apply a little relief to the spot I’m working on a bit underneath her ear. I relocate my hand to her waist, her skin is so cold against my burning palm. A soft smirk comes to my lips as she pushes her bum into my crotch – accidentally, I know, but God it felt amazing. Her entire body is against me know, depending on me to keep her up. My hand falls to her wide hip, the ends of my fingers burying into her heavenly skin.

I take my other hand and trail it up her perfect body. A growl escapes my mouth moments before my hand slides over her breast – God it’s so soft, and natural. I move along, not wanting to make her too uncomfortable. I wrap my hand around her throat – she gulps deeply against my palm. My grip isn’t deadly, I don’t intend on hurting her – just holding her in place.

“Julianne.” I sigh, she gently shakes as the cool air hits her abused skin. She grasps my wrist, holding it on her neck. My heart jumped as she does this, she’s craving it as much as I am. “Baby.” I exhale slowly, my lips brushing her ear lobe. Right as I was going to speak, the burning sensation shot through my mouth – my fangs were coming out and there’s not a thing I can do to hide them. Accidentally, as a result of the pain and irritation, I hiss at the stinging.

My mouth latches onto her skin like I was a thirsty leech. I let my teeth come out, still trying to refrain from tearing her angelic skin. “You trust me, baby.” I tell her, allowing my teeth to scrap over her bruise. Julianne nods to me a few times while replying, “I trust you, Harry.” She confirms my claim, thankfully reminding my heart and my soul. “I.. I wanted to wait.. but I can’t.. resist it. You smell so divine, Julianne.” My voice is deep as I speak to her, every part of me is craving her. The appetizing scent of her blood is making my mouth water – the fire begins to burn through my veins, the wolf is breaking through. Control – I have to control myself.

Silence surrounds us once more – her breathing is deep and slow, her heart beat is a bit off her average pattern, but not enough to make me worry. She’s calmed down since I first put my hands on her body minutes ago. “Harry..” That sweet, saintly voice says my name so lightly – it soon disappears into the air. The joyful sound of her voice circles my mind – adding onto my desire to have her forever.

A growl runs out of my mouth as I feel my eyes burning – there’s a scorching hot fire burning in high flames behind my eyes. On the outside I know they’re glowing, a clear sign that I’m getting ready to phase. I can’t stop it, but damn it I need to. Distraction. That’s exactly what I need, a distraction. My heart jumps to the front of line, proposing the idea that it is time. I agree quickly, not wanting to risk anything bad happening. I lift my lips from her skin, now or never.

“I love you.” My mumbling words hit against her skin, my lips returning to that very spot I had been suckling on for a while now. She takes a deep inhale, as if she were planning to speak to me in reply. I take a leap of faith and close my mouth – my sharp, deadly teeth penetrate her skin, providing me full access to her sweet blood. My beautiful angel gasps from utter shock and a mixture of pain as well, I’m sure. My teeth bury deep into the side of her neck, the blood pouring into my mouth.

A heavy grunt leaves my body as the thick liquid flows down my throat. Julianne’s desperately swatting at my hand, trying her best to tear it away from her body. I don’t allow it – I can’t fucking allow that to happen. If she got the chance then she would rip herself away from me and it would ruin the process. I love her, I don’t want to see her in pain – but I can’t stop myself now.

I’ve waited eighteen years to do this, to mark her as mine for the rest of time – properly claim her. I waited centuries to find the one – and I finally have her with me. What I have to do now might lead to something dangerous potentially happening. Carefully – ever so gently – I have to pour just a drop of my venom into her system. If more than one little drop flows through her body, then she’ll be in heart wrenching pain – and I’d have to fully convert her, but I don’t plan on doing that for a long while..

A growl comes out of my mouth as her sharp nails scratch my arm, yet despite the stinging pain she gave me, I continue on with the blood. My own voice is screaming at me in my head, fuck I can’t ignore it! Harry! Stop, you’re taking too much! I stupidly brush away the warnings and allow my teeth to anchor further into her body. You’re going to kill her!

Two minutes flew by – I counted the short seconds as her blood filled my mouth. Swear to God, I wouldn’t mind if she were my last meal. Out of the blue, her body goes limp in my arms – she’s became unresponsive now. I yank my mouth away from her, tearing up more of her soft skin that I intended to with my quick movements. Slowly, I drop to my knees with her motionless body in my arms. No.. no.. Please, God no. “Julianne.” My hands cup her face, she’s pale and cold – more than usually though. “Baby.” I drop my head down to her, my blood coated lips pressing against the corner of her mouth.

“C’mon baby.. c’mon.. wake up.” I whisper to her, my arms scooping her off the tiles. I rock my body with her in my possession, praying that she’ll wake up soon. “Julianne..” I mutter softly as I stare at her closed eyes – dear God take me instead, please. Send me straight to fucking Hell.

The door busts open and Zayn rushes to me, dropping to his knees. My watery eyes watch as his hand presses against her forehead, feeling for a temperature. My gaze lingers to her neck, the blood still gushing from her wound. “Stop the blood.” He says through gritted teeth, his eyes widening as he holds himself back. The magnificent scent of her blood is getting to him. “H-how?” I stammer out, now’s not the fucking time to be tripping over my own words. “Get if off her…. Put your mouth over it.” Zayn tells me as he lifts his head towards the door. He yells for help, no names called just a request.

I dip my head back down and press my lips to the puncture holes in her soft skin. I swipe my tongue over her skin, trying my best to clean up the bloody mess I caused.



*+*+*



Three days. Seventy two hours. Here I am sitting on the bedroom floor, my back against the bed side table and my arms on my knees. I haven’t left her bedside, nor have I even slept a minute. There is no way I’m going to risk not being here when she wakes up. Sophia promised me she’d be okay, she swore that everything was fine. I took too much of my angel’s blood – and from such a vital part of her body. Never did I intend to do that, I attempted to stop but it’s like she had me brainwashed. There was no giving up, I either got it all, or I got none.

Five minutes previous to this moment I looked down at her precious face – her peacefully sleeping body. My heart aches for her, there’s no telling what she was thinking while I was nearly sucking the life out of her. The thick blood trailing through her veins is the most beautiful thing I have ever had the opportunity to taste. I never imagined that I would take it so far, and steal so much of her body’s life source. Once that dark substance came in contact with my mouth I just could not stop. God knows I tried so damn hard to pull my teeth out of her pale, bruising skin – but the wolf exploding inside of me took over.

“Harry.” A whisper distracted me from my trance. I look over to the door to see Sara standing there with a glass of ice water. I gesture her to come over to me, knowing that she wouldn’t without my permission. She’s the only one who actually listens to me around here. She puts a small smile on her cute face as she strolls over to me, carefully cradling the glass with both hands wrapped around it. “Gem said you need it.” She says in a quiet tone, not wanting to wake Julianne. At this point, I wish something would wake her up.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” I take the glass from her and gladly get me a nice bit going down my throat. I sigh in relief, that’s definitely a nice treat. I sit it behind me on the nightstand. Sara steps between my legs and puts her arms around my neck. I lock my arms around her small body and hold her close to me. Last night, I overheard her speaking with Gemma in the hallway after she visited me. Her little heart is aching for both me and Julianne. It’s killing her knowing that I’m upset and not doing too well.

“Is Julianne officially a part of our family now?” Sara curiously asks me, I should have known her million questions were coming along with her visit. “She sure is, darling.” I smile gently at the thought. I claimed her, finally making her mine forever. I didn’t want to do it so soon, but seeing her almost bare body made my heart a ticking time bomb, Then, when I ran my hands all over her body, trying to show her that she was beautiful to me – that bomb went off and erupted inside of me. There was no stopping me from then on.

Sara rests her head against my shoulder, soft breathing filling my ears. I rub circles into her back, knowing that she’s always liked that soothing motion, even when she was an infant. “Momma would’a loved Julianne.” She mutters out, an upsetting sigh moving past her lips. “I know.” I mumble back, closing my eyes seconds later. The thought of my mother always pulled my heart strings – she left me entirely too soon. She used to be the one thing keeping my alive, and when she died I thought I would, too. However, that thought was soon abolished from my mind.

I recall it like it was yesterday – a replaying memory in your head never seems to miss your train of thought. My mother was dying slowly, and that’s exactly how she wanted it. She didn’t have a desire to end it all right then when the pain kicked in. She stayed strong, pulled through as long as she could, and kept a happy appearance for herself.

The night my mother passed, the house was flooding with tears and the air was thick with remorse. My heart was weighed down with all the pressure, the sudden loss. I expected it, we all knew it was coming. She told me herself not to worry, that she’d be okay in the end. I had to escape that night, I couldn’t stand the thought of staring at her dead body with rivers flowing down either side of my face like the others. That wasn’t how I handled the pain.

It occurred so fast – I slung the door open and just ran. Everyone was calling my name, screaming for me to return but I couldn’t do that. I had let them down, I let my mother die in front of all of them. The anger of my inner wolf ripped open my heart and settled itself there instead – to the dark woods I ran.

Never once did I stop, not until I found myself at the forest line behind that little house – the very house that held my girl. That same night Julianne had added seven scars to her arm and three to her thigh – and I watched each slash. There was nothing I could do other than watch the blade from the pencil sharpener dig into her skin and tear her open.

Losing my mother is the most devastating thing I have ever had thrown into my life – but still I knew I had a reason to live. My mother reminded me all the time of the bright future I would have with Julianne – the additions to the family we could create, the happiness shining in our home, even the little things like our first kiss. She wanted nothing but for me to have a good life, she wanted me to give Julianne that beautiful life as well, since she hadn’t had much at all. My mother is proud of me at what I’ve accomplished so far, or at least I hope so. Does she love Julianne? Well of course she does, she did the entire time.

“Harry.” Sara’s sudden soft words reminded me that she was here and I needed to get out of my thoughts and pay attention to her. She leans herself off of me and stares at the bed, where I know my love is laying silently. “What is it?” I whisper back, keeping my tone low for a reason I have yet to find. “I.. I think she’s waking up.” Sara informs me, taking a few steps back from me to give me some room to stand. I gladly take advantage of it and I bring myself to my feet. My eyes stare down at her face, I can see her eyes moving behind her lids, light grunts leaving her mouth.

“Go get Sophia.” I quickly look over at Sara. She nods to me before running out of the room, going to search for Sophia. “Julianne?” I murmur as I sit down beside her, my hand softly pressing against her rather warm cheek. Her body flinches – a sign that she is indeed awake. She might not be fully responsive at the moment, but she’s alive – and that’s all that matters to me. Her eyelids part slightly, enough for me to see the blue of her eyes. “Darlin’.” I whisper in a light tone as I lean down a tad closer, making sure that I was seeing what I was seeing – and indeed I am, she’s waking up.

“H-harr-y.” She croaks out, her throat is probably sore and as dry as a desert. “Shh, don’t speak too loud.” I warn her, brushing her hair away from her forehead. A smile begins to grow on her swollen lips as her fingers brush against my palm, she’s trying her best to hold my hand. I end the struggle for her by lacing our fingers together, immediately directing my heat to my palm. She lies there for a moment, her eyes barely opened but her gaze is still on me. The corners of her mouth are turned upward and those cheeks are blushing like usual.

“Harry?” Sophia’s voice invades the room along with her quick footsteps as she runs over to the other side of the room. She swats my hand away from my angel’s face – I don’t protest because I know that I could possibly effect the results of any test or observation Sophia needs to do. Julianne lets out a whine as I try to pull my hand away so I soon find myself giving up and just keeping a tight grip on her small hand. “How are you feeling?” Sophia simply asks as she looks down at Julianne. My poor angel just shrugs her shoulders, with tired eyes and a sigh escaping her lips.

Sophia begins to do little things like sticking a thermometer under Julianne’s tongue, and listening to her pulse and such. I stand patiently beside the bed, not wanting to be a disturbance to the process. Every few seconds Julianne will suddenly wince like she’s in pain, but there can’t possibly be anything that’s giving her pain. An uneasy expression forms on Julianne’s face – her eyebrows slightly furrow, while her lips frown downward. Those pretty eyes narrow, as if she was trying to determine something.

“Harry.” She yelps my name out, her hand flying to her neck. Sophia and I share a quick glance because we both are well aware of what’s wrong with her all of a sudden. “I know, baby.” I breathe out as I use my free hand and tear her hand away from the nasty wound I left – which is uncovered due to the fact that I’m technically not finished with her. I’m supposed to take care of it for the first few weeks, soothe it and whatnot.

I gently trail my fingertips over it, her eyes squeezing shut as I do so. Her hand wraps around my wrist and yanks on it, trying to get me to stop touching her. But I don’t oblige, I have to do this in order to take care of her. “Don’t worry, my love, I will make it feel better soon.” My faint whisper is the last thing I get to say to her before Perrie and Gemma enter the room to assist Sophia with everything. Gemma’s hand gently sits on my shoulder as she appears beside me, I can sense her intense, deep stare on the side of my face.

“You need to go rest, Harry. You’ve been up for three days.” Gemma says in a soft tone as she tears my hand away from Julianne’s. I watch as my angel’s small hand drops to her side on the bed, her eyes gluing to my own. Within her sparkling orbs I can see the desperation, the pleading – either she doesn’t want me to leave, or she has a desire for me to take her where it is I’m going myself. “ ‘m not tired.” I push past Gemma and head to the wall, Julianne’s gaze following as I do so – I can feel her eyes burning holes through my back.

“Harry, c’mon. You have got to rest up, and when you wake up you have to go hunt. You haven’t eaten in days.” Gemma tries to convince me once more but nothing will work – I can’t leave her side, not after she’s just now parted her eyelids. “I’ve had water.. m’fine.” I shrug her hand off my shoulder the second she grabs it again. She lets out an irritated huff – I know she’s only attempting to help me out and I appreciate it, but I’m fine.

“Sophia, it burns!” Julianne screams out suddenly, my eyes shooting up only to witness her thrashing in the bed, her hand covering the mark my own mouth left on her. “Calm down, love.” Perrie grabs her wrists and pins them on either side of her shaking body. Gemma pushes her hand on my abdomen, trying her best to keep my body against the wall – or at least give me the hint that I don’t need to move. “Is everything alright?” Zayn busts into the room, slamming the door behind him. His eyes dart to me for a moment before he rushes to Sophia.

“She claims it’s burning.” Perrie barely opens her mouth as she replies to him, but I heard it clearly. Julianne’s painful screams are the only thing I can hear right now – they remind me of the pain I caused her, and now she has to suffer because of me. I done this to my girl, to the only fucking person I live for. “Give her some morphine.” Zayn insisted as he placed his hand over her heart, trying to detect the beating pattern. My knees began to feel mushy as Sophia’s eyes caught my stare from across the room. She mouths something to me – a phrase I will never be able to forget now that it’s beginning to settle in.

“Look what you did to her.”

My legs began to shake as I watched Sophia prepare Julianne’s skin for the prick of the needle. I bite the inside of my cheek as I voluntarily witnessed the need being stabbed into her skin – like a dagger to my heart. Small droplets of blood began to drip from the spot where the medicine entered her veins. My heart lit up in blazing, burning crimson flames as the air carried her wondrous scent straight to me. “Get him out of here!” Perrie yelled out over her shoulder, most likely to Gemma.

I lift myself off the wall, taking only a few steps towards my sick angel. It is not their duty to take care of it – it is mine. I’m her Alpha, I’m her mate. This is my responsibility, no one else’s. I cannot allow this to go any further. I lunge toward the bed, willing to knock them all to the side in order to get to her.

A blow to my chest stopped me, throwing me against the wall once again. It didn’t take but a second to comprehend that Liam’s arms were confining me to the corner, keeping me from raging – from lashing out over the smell of her delicious, mind captivating blood. “Let me see her!” I yell out over all the panic in the room. Julianne’s whining, tears flooding those piercing eyes I’m sure. Perrie is trying to get her to relax while Sophia injects the rest of the medicine. Liam is speaking to me – words I am not listening to at all, but I’m sure he’s trying to get me to calm down.

“We have got to calm her down before her heart rate goes ballistic!” Zayn warned the same moment that Liam began guiding me to the door. “No! Fuck – let me see her!” I scream, tears stinging in my eyes. My blood began to burn my veins, setting a wildfire underneath my heated skin. My heart was sparking and pounding more and more as every little cry Julianne let out entered my ears. Her pain is hurting me, slowly killing me in the process. “Harry, you can’t be in here.” Liam says as he reaches the door, shoving me over the threshold. I stumble back, my feet losing all sense of direction.

My back slams roughly in the wall, Liam’s hand holding onto my shirt to keep me still. “She’ll be fine.” He sighs out breathlessly, as if trying to refrain me as made him use all his energy – I’m sure that’s true, though. “She’ll go into shock!” I hear Zayn yell in mist of all the commotion – but I can’t see her, I can’t see her face, or her eyes, or even a glimpse of her tired body on the bed. I see nothing – because they slam the door shut, keeping me from intervening in what I’m supposed to be protecting.

“Liam.” I mutter out as I feel my heart literally shake in my rib cage. I have never felt this way – I feel like I’m fucking dying, and it’s all because of her and what she’s going through. This is my fault – I couldn’t control myself the other night and I went too far. A seemingly harmless bath turned into a bathroom full of blood and a collapsed body, along with a frozen soul. I won’t lie to anyone, not even to myself in order to make my own heart feel better, I thought I had killed her. I honestly believed I had taken away so much blood, enough to make her fall unconscious and slip away from me.

“Let’s get out’a here, yeah? Blow off some steam.” Liam insists as he forcefully yanks me along with him down the hall. I don’t fight him, I know I won’t win right now. My body is too weak, I haven’t slept in hours nor have I gained any strength. It’s been nearly four days since my last hunt – all my body has obtained is water and blood.. Julianne’s blood.

Before I could comprehend where I was, Liam shut the back door and my bare feet began to sink into the mushy grass. Absentmindedly, I started taking steps backwards, leading myself to the edge of the woods. I gulped harshly as flashbacks shot through my brain – from her gorgeous, curvaceous body, to her once steady beating heart. That thick, heavenly blood that poured from her neck, the way her hands held onto mine while I sank my teeth deep into her flesh..

I’m the cause. I’m the reason she’s practically dying in there now. Broken promises, broken hearts – I have done it. I let her mother down, I promised I’d never intentionally hurt her and during that moment I knew, I knew good and damn well that she was hurting – yet I didn’t stop. I never even thought about the promise I made.

“Liam.” I said his name faintly, almost as if my voice was ready to blank out on me. His head lifted and his dark eyes met mine, which were illuminating now whilst my breathing was deeper and my blood was boiling. He arched a brow at me, clearly able to see that I’m about to let it all go – I’m about to set myself free, blow off some steam, as he puts it. “Liam.. if.. if she dies.” My breathes suddenly became short, quick, and violent.

My fangs dominated my mouth, my temper blowing up. My teeth started to grit as I stared at him coldly, knowing what I’m going to say will be shocking to him, but God knows it’s the truth. I might not have a chance in Heaven, but that doesn’t matter to me. If she were to die, and God forbid, I want her in the clouds – high above the rest of the world. I want her with her mother, in a glorious field of golden flowers. I want her in Heaven – I want her to be saintly, to be pure and worthy. I want her to be anything, anything but like me.

Julianne said it herself, I’m nothing but a monster. A cold hearted, selfish monster. A demon trapped inside a human body. An animal confined into this flesh, into this life. I deserve nothing but to end up in burning flames. I’ve hurt the only thing I love, and to me – that’s a Hell worthy sin on its on.

Through my intensely gritted teeth, I choke out the simple request I have. If she dies, then I die to.

“If she dies.. rip my head off.”

Notes

so I hope you noticed the first portion of this chapter was Harry's pov of the last chapter. Anyways.. i'm really excited for the chapter coming up!! updates soon. xxx feedback please xx