Beating Heart

//We’re all going to die, so it might as well be love that destroys us//


//Harry//

Traveling down our extremely long and well-hidden drive way was the thing that made me become anxious. I didn’t tell anyone I was on my way back, but I’m sure they can all get a whiff of my scent now since I’m so close to them. Julianne is curled up in the back seat, her eyes finally shut about twenty minutes ago – it’s so easy to tell she’s fucking tired, it’s like she’s lifeless back there. Her dress has risen due to her position on her side in the seat, but I don’t try to make a big deal out of it – I wash her underwear all the time, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.

After what seems like a decade, I put the truck in park in the yard, not caring about the mud from the recent storm. The grass is dying anyways due to the seasons changing, a few tire tracks won’t hurt it any more than it already is. As soon as my feet hit the ground, the front door swings open and the herd files out of the house. A sigh escapes my mouth, sometimes I wished I lived alone – but then I’d be fucked up because I can’t cook good, I’m alright on the grill though, and I hate washing dishes, I just couldn’t do it. I’m glad I have them, but right now.. they need to give us some space.

“What happened?” Sophia is the first to reach me, her hand grabbing my elbow to stop me from walking away. “Julianne is sick.” I mumble, shaking her hand off so I can get my lovely, but so sick, angel out of the back seat and into her bed. “Oh gosh! What can we do, Harry?” Gemma asks with a worried tone, lord she sounded just like our mother then. “Just.. gather a damp towel and a trash bin. She’s been throwing up.” I tell her and she gives me a quick nod before hurrying back inside.

“Where’re the guys?” I ask with a cocked eyebrow, surprised that I didn’t seem them come out nor am I picking up their scent – only a faint smell. “Hunting. ‘cept for Niall.. he’s with Sara upstairs.” Sophia informs me as she follows behind me. Perrie is standing on the porch with crossed arms and a confused look, but I know she can hear us so I don’t try to call her over.

I open the back door, my eyes meeting the pretty nice site of Julianne’s ass and her crotch. “Jesus, Harry.” Sophia groans, pushing past me to grab the hem of the dress. She tosses it over Julianne’s bum, preventing me from seeing any more than I already have. “She’s mine, you know.” I remind her with raised brows and a smirk. “Get her inside.. a storm’s brewing.” She rolls her eyes before backing up, finally giving me room to actually move around.

My hands grab her knees and I take a quick breath, don’t hesitate just do it. I yank her towards me, her sleeping body not even stirring. I smile lightly at her, she’s so adorable. I slide an arm underneath her knees and the other under her back as I maneuver her out of the backseat. She groans to me, pressing a hand onto my chest. “Shhh.” I try to soothe her movements, but it doesn’t work that well. Her dazzling blue orbs are soon gazing into mine.

“I didn’t intend to wake you.” I mumble out as I shut the door with my foot. Her arms go around my neck, her hands grabbing the back of my neck so she can hold on to me better, even though I’m not going to drop her. “I’m so tired, Harry.” She whines out in a sad voice. “I know, darling, I know.” I brace myself for the billion questions I’m going to get as the door opens, revealing Gemma and Perrie both. Sophia isn’t anywhere to be seen, there’s no damn telling what she’s doing now.

“You should probably let her take a nice, warm bath to calm her body down.” Gemma says as they both follow me down the hallway. “We’ll see.” I sigh lightly, replying to them as if they were children begging for a toy at the store. Perrie reaches past me and turns the door handle, making my life a bit easier. “Um.. what happened in here?” I question as I look around and see that the room has been extravagantly changed up. I sit down on the bed, keeping Julianne in my arms while placing her in my lap.

“We all decided to freshen up the atmosphere for her.” Perrie says with a beaming grin, clearly happy with their decision. “Well.. thank you, actually.” I lightly smile back, that was all I could muster. “Harry..” Julianne’s sweet voice murmurs my name out, grabbing a tight hold of my attention. I look down at her to see those sadden blue eyes looking right back at me. “What’s the matter, doll?” I ask in a soft voice, trying to keep things calm and collected – when in reality, my mind is exploding, my heart is racing, my lungs are drying up, and my worries are beyond what they’ve ever been before. This is going to kill me.

“Can-can I.. I take.. a bath?” She asks so gently, her voice on the verge of giving out. “Well, of course you can, darling.” My lips shape into a warm smile, I figure that if she knows that I’m calm then she’ll be able to stay calm herself. Hopefully that will work out for me. “Stand up, sweetie.” I say, willing to do as she requests - which is leading her to the bathroom so she can relax herself. “I can’t..” She groans out, her lips poking out into a pathetic, but yet cute, pout. Without any argument – because, honestly, I’d do whatever the hell she wants me to do, she’s my angel and she deserves all the special treatments – I slide my hand underneath her knees and I stand up from the bed, cradling my sicken doll in my arms.

“Do you want me to lay her out some pajamas?” Gemma asks as I head to the door. “No, I’ll do it. I just want everyone to.. to stay away, so you don’t get sick.” I remind them of this obvious thing – just because we’re immortal doesn’t mean we’re immune to common colds and viruses. Sure, we can handle them better and get free of them faster, but definitely not immune. “Alright, I’ll let everyone else know then. Good luck.” Gemma smiles at me before excusing herself from the bedroom. Speaking of the room, I doubt Julianne even noticed the decorations and the new furniture.

Thankfully, the bathroom door is open and the light is on. I carry Julianne into the room and shut the door behind me with my foot. I sit her down on the counter, her hands clinging to the sides of my neck though. “Baby, let me go so I can run the water.” I sigh softly, but not in annoyance. I allow my hands to slightly grasp her waist without causing any pain. “Stay with me.” She frowns, sliding her small hands to the back of my neck, and forcing me down on her. My hands roam to the small of her back, rubbing her while my lips plant soft kisses underneath her ear. “If I stay with you, love, who’s going to get your bath ready?” I question in a hushed tone.

Her slim fingers tangle in my hair as she keeps my body glued to hers, clearly she doesn’t care about the bath anymore. “I dunno… a magical bath-making fairy.” She insists, but failing to hide the cute smile in her voice. I chuckle against her skin, she’s adorable even when she’s sick. “You’re so silly, my love.” I place a kiss on her lobe before leaning myself back, going against the little strength she had. “Can you at least stay in here?” Julianne asks in a mumble and I feel my heart nearly explode in my chest. Staying in here with her would result in my having to witness her and all of her beautiful, naked glory. Perhaps I just need to toss the list of things that I refuse to do in order to not disrespect her – it’s no working for me anymore.

“Maybe.” I mutter back, placing my lips to the corner of her mouth. She grunts to me, her hands on my chest now and she gives me a small push, my lips tearing from her skin. “You’re gonna get sick, Harry.” She informs me with the information I had to warn everyone else about, and clearly I don’t give a damn because I’m all over her at the moment. “I don’t care, doll.” I say with a smirk as I place a kiss directly on her swollen lips, not caring if a virus is lingering there or not. She lightly throws her hands in the air, giving on any efforts of trying. I give her a wink before turning away from her beautiful face – I need to get her bath ready.

I go to the tub and lean over, turning on the hot water first. I plan on letting it fill the majority of the tub, but as usual my plans get ruined. This time, however, it’s ruined by a beautiful, Heavenly angel sent to me from God himself. “Not too hot.” Julianne huffs from where I left her on the counter. I don’t verbally reply to her as I turn down the heated water and turn the knob for the cooler water. It gushes out and mixes in with the hot water already in the tub. “Harry..” Julianne calls out my name, the pout evident on her lips when I look over my shoulder at her. “Hmm?”

Those puffy lips shape into a small smile, I can tell she’s up to something now. “Can you add bubbles to it? I like bubbles.” She says more as a command than as a question while batting those thick, dark eyelashes at me. She knows how to get her way with me, that’s definitely one thing she’s learned from being here. “Sure thing, baby.” I nod to her as I stand up and go over to the closet. I open the door and shake my head in disbelief as I see four huge bottles of bubble bath solution on the top shelf – girls are so odd. “Which color would you like, dear?” I ask, glancing over my shoulder towards her. “Pink.” She mumbles and I grab the pink bottle by its handle.

Before long, I had the bathtub filled with a nice warm, but not too hot, bubble filled water. Still on the counter, I have a sickly, bath ready, cheeky little angel. She parts her knees and I stand between them, my hand resting on her thigh while the other is on the side of her face. “Time for you to relax yourself, love. Don’t rush.. you can stay in as long as you want.” I say, leaning in to kiss her lips but she turns her head, my lips landing on her reddened cheek.

“Please stay with me, Harry.” She whines out to me, her hand tugging on my shirt in desperation. “Darling, I would love to do everything you ask me to.. but some things are a little much.” I state, obviously referring to staying in here while she bathes. “But I.. why not?” She groans, throwing her head back dramatically. “Baby.. you’ll be naked.. and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” I ignore all the barriers and just speak my mind – she wants to know, so damn, just tell the girl! It’s not that hard, really, to just say it.

“So.. you don’t want to see me naked?” She asks with a harsh tone, her eyebrows furrowing while giving me a confused yet slightly offended expression. “No.. I do, trust me. I mean.. I.. I just don’t want to..” My voice gives out on me, since I’ve already thrown myself into bad waters – why not just silence myself and let her scold me? “See me naked.” She says, probably intending to finish my sentence. “Baby, don’t.. don’t get upset about this.” I sigh out, rolling my eyes lightly at her behavior. I thought she was sick?

I remove my hand from her thigh, the other dropping from her face to her waist. I only keep a light hold on her side, I don’t want to seem too pushy anymore. Suddenly I’ve lost all want to touch her – well, I wouldn’t say all. Julianne probably noticed the uncertain look plastered on my face. Should I touch her, or leave her alone? Should I speak to her, or keep quiet? Should I be a man and say no to her, or should I be her boyfriend and please her needs?

My body flinches as her soft palm presses against my face, the side that was slashed. I gulp gently at the contact, she’s gotten so bold and brave with her motions while I’m becoming cold and distant with my own. “Harry.. you are the only person I trust.. I wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t trust you.” The angelic sound of Julianne’s voice entering my ears calms my nerves like a rainbow after a storm. “I know you won’t hurt me or.. or do anything else.. I just want you to be in here with me.. I.. I don’t feel.. good and I.. I like having you near me.. You.. you make me feel better.” Her lips linger around mine without sparking up a new session.

“Please..” She mutters lightly as her fingertips trace little shapes on my jaw. “Baby.” I sigh out, my head shaking a few times from left to right. Julianne’s hands roughly cup my face, forcing me to look directly at her. “Harry.” Julianne mocks my sigh, causing a smirk to creep onto my lips. “I made you smile.” She whispers softly, the tip of index finger softly grazing over my bottom lip. “Please.” She pleads to me once more, as if I haven’t already heard her request.

Knowing good and well that I’m not going to get out of his, I inhale deeply and lightly shake my head in disbelief. I’m about to bow down to this girl, and do exactly as she wants me to do. “Okay.” I gave in to her needs and right away her lips shaped into a huge grin. Shockingly, she throws her arms around my neck and pulls me against her, those sweet lips brushing my ear lobe. “You’re the best, Harry.” She whispers to me softly, as if it was her biggest kept secret she was finally speaking about. My hands grasp the small of her back, it feels great to hold her. It feels right.


//Julianne//

It took me and Harry nearly five minutes to figure out how to untangle ourselves so we both could be free. Obviously we know how, we just didn’t want it to end – or least I didn’t want it to. Harry didn’t put up any further argument with me and I appreciated it, I started to think he didn’t care. Silly thoughts, I know, but my heart worries about everything, somethings more than others.

Those rough hands, belonging to the man I truly adore, lifted me off the counter and my feet settled onto the floor. I pass a smile his way before walking towards the bathtub full of bubbles, and pink tinted, warm water. “Julianne.” Harry blurts out my name as my hands grab the hem of my dress. I look over my shoulder to see his wide eyes and parted lips.

Silence grew between us, almost frightening to me because for one, I don’t know what the hell happened that made him call my name like that, and two, he isn’t moving, not even a blink or an exhale. “Harry?” It was all getting to me now, I didn’t like this sudden quiet room he caused. “Are-are you pos-positive about.. being.. comfortable.. with me watching you?” In my mental calendar, I marked today’s date because this was the first time I had ever heard that man stammer with his own words.

“Yes. I’m one hundred percent positive.” I let a light sigh escape my mouth, I wish he would just comprehend the fact that I trust him with all of my heart and my soul, no matter how damaged they both happen to be. “Al-alright.” He mumbles out, grabbing the edge of the counter as he leans back against it. I turn my back to him once again and restart the process of removing my clothing. First, I take out the earrings and the rest of the jewelry. I trail over to the counter and gently sit the pieces down. The corner of Harry’s mouth slightly curves upward as I give him a quick glance.

I grab the bottom hem of the dress and slowly pull it up my body, being careful not to rip it. My heart skipped a nervous beat as I hear Harry sharply inhale. Sophia is going to get it next time I see her, I forgot she made me put on these thin underwear. She claimed they were normal, just a little more of my behind was going to be shown – but no, to me, these are scandalous. I ignore the fact that for the first time, or at least the only time I can remember, Harry is seeing my underwear on me.

Before I even realized it, the dress slipped out of my hand and landed on the floor. The cold temperature of the bathroom made chill bumps arise on my skin. My insecurities soon found their way in my mind, despite the fact that I tried so hard to forget them for just this one night. I press my hand against my stomach, not because it was hurting – but because I felt like Harry wouldn’t like to see that. “Julianne.” Harry’s voice smoothly said my name, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking in my mind.

My lips never part, words never form on my tongue. Silence returns between us. That occurs far too often. His heavy footsteps fill the freezing room, the loud noise is knocking my heart off its tracks. He’s approaching me and there’s nothing I can do about it. I cannot attempt to hide myself, it’s entirely too late for that. I cannot run, there’s nowhere to go and he definitely wouldn’t allow that. My eyelids fluttered shut as Harry’s large, yet ever so gentle, hands touch my sides.

“Stop that.” He whispers out, his hand shoving mine down and away from my stomach. His arms snake around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder. I would never call him a coward, but when it came to touching, he was shy about it – like I am. But not tonight, not in these recent moments. We’ve both overgrown that phase, there’s no need to be protective over our movements anymore. His resting hands are over my stomach, slightly lower than what I would consider my actual stomach but I let out no complaints at all.

“You’re beautiful to me.” His warm, plump lips dance over the side of my neck, planting a garden of soft kisses on my skin. I allow my right hand to wrap around one of his wrists while my left touches against his forearm. “So precious, darlin’.” The heat of his breath sets a flame to my milk colored skin, igniting my heart in my blazing flames.

Harry’s teeth graze a section of rather sensitive skin, making my body flinch in his arms. “You trust me?” Harry grumbles on my skin, not wanting to tear his lips away. I gasp for air as his lips suddenly begin to suckle on that same soft spot. “Yes.” I choke out, my head titling back – I’m thankful that I have him for support, because my knees are wobbling. If he keeps this up, I’m going to melt into a puddle at his feet. “Tell me that you trust me.” He removes himself from my skin for only a moment.

I nearly let out a shriek as his lips formed a circle and began working on my skin – sucking and nursing the already sore spot. “I.. Harry.. I trust… I trust you.” My voice is cracking due to the intense pressure my body is experiencing. Harry doesn’t say anything in return, instead he releases my skin with a pop. One of his arms leave my waist and he uses his hand to sweep my hair out of his way entirely, throwing it over my over shoulder.

I couldn’t ponder his intentions at all, once my neck was cleared off he went right back to the harsh kissing. His tongue flattens on my skin and he wets that part of my neck, a few inches below my ear. That lovely touch of his hand returns to my waist, the other still against my stomach. Accidentally, I find myself pressing my back into his body – the movement of my backside might be too hard. It doesn’t seem to bother him, he continues with the soft kisses in that spot he’s been taking care of for the past few minutes.

My lips part as his hand drops to my hip, his fingertips digging into my skin. A deep, devious growl left from his mouth the same moment his other hand glides up my stomach. It ran slowly over my left breast, but not staying to grope it or feel it. I gulp loudly as his hand cups the front of my neck, but staying lose around my throat.

“Julianne.” Harry breathes out, cool air hitting the bruised area of skin. I shiver lightly as my hand grabs a hold of his wrist – keeping it in place on my neck. For a reason I don’t know the explanation of, the adrenaline I get from his hand being wrapped around my throat excites my soul and sparks up my heart. “Baby.” He adds, exhaling once more in my ear. He hisses suddenly, a sound I have never heard him make before.

Before I could question it in my mind, Harry’s mouth relocated itself back to that very same spot. This time, however, his teeth are being dominate over his lips. “You trust me, baby.” Harry states – I squeeze my eyes shut as his teeth run over the bruise he’s put onto my skin. “I trust you, Harry.” I remind him of this, nodding just slightly so that I don’t interrupt his intimate actions. “I.. I wanted to wait.. but I can’t.. resist it. You smell so fucking divine, Julianne.” Harry admits, a devious smirk laced in his low tone.

He’s spoke those same words to me before, and he wasn’t referring to my hair at the time either – nor is he this go around. “Harry..” I mutter his name feathery, my courage is slipping through my fingers – my voice is growing weak on me and my heart is dissolving into his warm hands. I won’t lie, I’m quite afraid of him now mostly because I’m not aware of his motives, of what’s going on his mind. I wish I knew.. maybe then I wouldn’t be so worried.

“I love you.”

My eyes shoot open at the sound of his gravelly voice in my ear – those words leaving his mouth, flowing from his tongue so beautiful and simply. I take a breath, preparing myself for my reply – those same words. I gasp suddenly at the pain being inflicted on me – my skin feels like it’s having daggers thrown into it. Words try to come from my mouth, but I stay breathless. Harry sinks his teeth deeper into the side of my neck, letting out grunts and snarls here and there as he keeps himself there, not wanting to let me go.

Within a quick moment, my vision rapidly began to blur and my ears started to loudly ring. I slapped at Harry’s hand, trying to get it free from my throat but he’s not obliging to my request. My jaws part and I try my best to scream, yet I have no power to make a noise, not even a whisper. I didn’t want him to stop, no, I didn’t want that at all. In this scary moment, all I wish is to reply to him – to tell him what I’ve been waiting to say. While I was growing up, I thought I’d end up alone forever, because none of the boys at school liked me and no one wanted to even be my friend. Little did I know, there was someone watching over me the entire time – someone who is so lovely, and so strong, so handsome, so perfect, absolutely incredible, magical, and most importantly someone who is all mine.

One final attempt: I scratch my nails down his forearm but he doesn’t stop. At this very second I realize I am feeling dizzy, like I’m about to faint in his strong, yet ever so dangerous, arms. The corners of my eyes fade into darkness – as if I were beginning to go blind. I couldn’t even smell his cologne anymore, nor feel the warmth his body gave to me. Am I dying? No, he wouldn’t do that to me.. I let out a scream, begging him to let me free – I know he didn’t hear it, because it was in my head…

Lights flash in my eyes, memories fly through my mind, fighting with each other to get my attention.

“I’d never hurt you, Julianne.”

My train of thought stops at one station, that which belongs to that one quote I never forgot. The day I read it, I had slashed my wrist three times – not giving a damn anymore. That god damn quote that I never believed, never until this very moment in this frozen time.

“We’re all going to die, so it might as well be love that destroys us.” – Jonny Ox.



I love you, too, Harry.

Notes

//this was big// ---excuse errors (i will eventually come back and edit the chapter!)---

~[please leave feedback for this - i have been waiting for ages to get this chapter and the next few posted!!]~ xx updates soon!! xx ♥